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Jesus in the Romance

~The sequel to Nobel and Trisha’s love story.

…Sarah turned on a sapphire blue speaker and attached her cell phone Bluetooth to it. Beautiful island worship music began playing and I felt as if I were on a black sanded beach next to lapping crystal waters. A chorus of singers synchronized in the background, complementing the main singer harmoniously.

After flipping on the coffee machine, I leaned my back against the island as Sarah started dicing up potatoes and mincing vegetables. She worked like a sous chef.

I felt admiration for her in my heart.

She sliced through some honeyed ham and turned her oven on preheat before taking some frozen buttermilk biscuits out.

“I feel bad just standing here while you work,” I confessed after several minutes of waiting for her to ask me to do something.

“Then you haven’t quite understood grace yet,” she said with a refreshing tone.

Her words caught me off guard and I didn’t respond for several seconds.

“I’m not sure where you’re coming from,” I admitted.

She smiled up at me, “it’s a pleasure to serve you Nobel. Being served should never cause you emotional discomfort. You have no guilty obligation to help me.”

I froze and felt a depth in her words that struck the bars of an imprisoned place in my heart.

Suddenly what was unconscious became conscious.

Sarah said no more and left me to my thinking while she worked.

I envisioned Jesus kneeling at my feet shirtless with a large clay bowl of hot water in his hands. Those large bronze hands had the rough callouses of a carpenter, yet they carried the tenderness of a healer. His wavy black onyx hair was dusted from the dirt of sandal and foot travel.

Dip your foot in friend.

I gulped loudly and felt a sting of religion beckon me to pull away.

No, let me wash your feet Jesus! I almost spoke the words in my head out loud.

I saw Him look up at me with those burning ember brown eyes that knew every inch and corner of my soul like the back of His hand. His was the dearest face in all the world to me.

He seemed pained at my response.

My love is crippled by your thinking He said, tears gathering behind His eyes. You won’t impress Sarah or Kris through your works… so don’t try.

I sucked in air and suddenly the vision was gone.

My palms were sweaty now and I tried to rub them on my pants without being noticed.

Sarah didn’t seem to care and cracked six eggs into a measuring cup before whisking them and adding in spices.

The sunlight behind her spilled into the kitchen and living room like blonde paint and caused her silhouette to glow in ethereal gold.

Sarah threw two spoonsful of minced garlic in a frying pan with olive oil.

My stomach began to feel pangs of hunger when she threw in some chopped onion and cut bell peppers. She finally added the potatoes and began stirring things around with a large wooden cooking spoon.

“You haven’t touched your coffee,” she said over a shoulder with a soft smile. It took me a second to register her words and respond correctly, “no I haven’t,” I said and caught a whiff of the strong, full bodied aroma, “but it sure smells wonderful.”

“We have vanilla, hazelnut or Irish creamer. I have to warn you the Irish one has a little liquor in it.”

I grinned more widely than I meant, “I don’t mind a little alcohol ma’am.”

She laughed at my expression and touched a hand to her heart, “oh good! I was hoping our customs wouldn’t offend you. We do live on a winery.”

I laughed with her, “I’ll take the Irish.”

With that statement, I headed for the fridge and sifted until I found the choice creamer.

I went for the upper cabinet and grabbed a ruby red mug. His Blood was printed in white cursive on the cup. I poured some coffee in.

Afterward I added the creamer.

Sarah opened the frozen biscuits and lined them in a pan before placing them in the preheated oven.

I sipped at my coffee and almost closed my eyes in gratification at the rich taste.

Several minutes passed and the biscuits were baking, the eggs were cooking on the stove and the potatoes were browning.

I wondered what was holding Trisha up and just as I was about to pick up polite conversation with Sarah, Trisha opened up the front door.

She was smiling brightly and exclaimed, “that was one of the most beautiful sunrises I have ever seen!”

She hastened toward me and put the pitcher on the island. I saw the pure bliss on her face.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it darling,” I said, taking joy at her pleasure.

She then thanked Sarah and told her, “I was romanced by the Lord the whole time I was out there!” She giggled like a school girl and Sarah joined in her glee.

“Don’t you just love it when He does that?”

The two of them started chatting fluidly and before long Trisha asked for an apron and joined Sarah in cooking.

They worked together as if they had been best friends since childhood. I stood back amazed and still felt a little awkward for standing back idly while they cooked.

When I was done with my coffee I headed back to living room and sat on the couch.

Guilty thoughts tried to press their way into my mind.

What will Kris think when he walks in and sees you sitting on the couch while his wife and your girlfriend slave away in the kitchen? Some minister he’ll think you are!

I shook my head and rejected the accusations that were coming my way. I recognized its dark origin and refused to heed.

I glanced at the women in the kitchen, laughing together and knew they were having a good time.

I tapped my pointer finger on my knee nervously. Lord what do I do now?

Nothing, came the gracious answer.

“Nothing…” I repeated quietly, “sounds like a plan,” I said with an amused chortle.

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, “okay Lord.”

Before long I heard the oven ding and then a strong male voice erupt in laughter, “now there’s the man of the hour!” Kris said chuckling deeply.

My eyes popped open and I began to stand.

Kris put a firm hand on my shoulder, “no please, sit!”

He swiveled around and joined me on the couch. I saw the tickling jest in his blue eyes.

He was wearing a white polo shirt, dark shorts, and Bryce lace up shoes. His summer blonde hair appeared paler in the sunlight.

“Good morning Kris,” I said, unsure of what tone to take.

“Morning, how’d you sleep?”

“Pretty good,” I answered and then shrugged honestly, “not as long as I’d like.”

“Well weren’t you drifting on the couch a second ago?” he quipped playfully.

I couldn’t help but chuckle, “no sir, anything but…”

Sarah came toward us with a cup of strong black coffee in her hand. She set in on a saucer in front of Kris and gave him a peck on the cheek, “thanks dear,” he responded and looked up at her fondly.

She returned to the kitchen and Kris took a slow sip.

“Nothing like straight black,” he praised and then patted my shoulder.

“You’re from Europe?” I asked.

“Why do you ask?”

I pursed my bottom lip slightly in thoughtful reflection, “well in my former career, I ran across people from different countries often enough. A lot of my male European counterparts liked their coffee pitch black.”

Kris lifted his brows, “what career was this?”

I dipped my chin, “I’d prefer not to say…sometimes I try to forget.”

I glanced at him from the corner of my eye and saw his unassuming visage. A feeling of peace from the Holy Spirit rose to my heart and I knew everything would be okay.

“I was a male model for a prestigious…company.”

Kris arched an eyebrow, “yes Thomas told us you had a scarlet past,” he said and then took a leisure sip of his coffee. I slightly cringed when I remembered the glamorous parties that were only started to sleep with fast women. Kris set down his cup and smiled in triumph, “the good news about scarlet pasts is that God uses them for his glory. There’s no greater transition than from blood red to milk white.”

I nodded, “I know that for sure. Everything in my life is different. I had no idea this level of joy and peace…and purpose was possible.”

I leaned back and couldn’t help but glance at Trisha, “I had no idea how tremendous the goodness of God was. He amazes me with how God He is…first to have Him and then to be given such good and perfect gifts from His hand.”

Kris followed my eyes, “ahhh, yes. I know what you mean. I cannot think of a greater treasure, a more perfect gift than my wife…”

We both remained silent for a moment in reverential awe.

My heartbeat quickened, “she’s truly perfect. A masterpiece”

Kris perked up, “He knows whose perfect for us…”

I nodded.

“The greater news is…He makes us perfect for Him.”

My eyes enlarged as I felt a swell of the love of God rise in my heart.

“Let the two become one,” I said quietly.

“It’s a mystery. Somehow we are the bride of Christ.” Kris said slowly shaking his head, “I still don’t understand it.”

“Neither do I,” I responded truthfully and then stroked my chin, “but I’m beginning to experience it.”

Kris studied my face intensely for a brief moment.

“Hmmm, and what does that look like?” He probed.

I remained silent for a few seconds, combing for the right word. When it came, I turned to Kris, “like union,” I said in a hoarse whisper.

My eyes went wet before I could control the tears. Love for God wrecked my heart.

Kris examined me quietly and I felt an opening between us. We connected without speaking.

Finally, I broke the silence, “I’ve been experiencing Him all morning. It’s different now. I don’t have to search scriptures for hours or go into a prayer closet and try to focus and not lose interest. I’ve surrendered everything to Him. He talks to me first. We converse more easily than I am with you. I feel Him in me, I sense what pleases and displeases Him and I try to comply with His inaudible wishes…”

I hadn’t realized that my voice was gruff with emotion until Kris’s changed visage caught my attention.

“You sound like a man in love.”

I nodded and wiped my eyes, slightly mortified by the unmanly tears and yet proud of them.

Kris sipped at his coffee and I could see the smile he tried to hide behind the cup’s rim.

“I suppose I am. Madly in love with Jesus. It’s an odd sort of thing in a way.”

~To follow the beginnings of Trisha and Nobel’s pure romance, you can purchase a copy of Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul. May you find the greater eternal romantic story of Jesus pursuing you weaved through its pages <3

“Ashley has a very talented gift of weaving words together that display tenderness, compassion and purity. Each story reveals the heart of Jesus towards His children. As you read each one you can see past the characters and feel the depth of Jesus’ heart, as well as the longing for a deeper relationship with Jesus inside yours.” -Everesta Hannon, prayer minister.
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Apple Favor

The law was brought in so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more- Romans 5:20 NIV

Have you ever behaved terribly and been blessed right after? Or lost your temper at a loved one and then been shown favor by God?

 It seems like an oxymoron, doesn’t it?

“Good behavior gets good results; bad behavior gets bad result”. Culturally we’ve been saturated with this kind of thinking. We were raised by good, responsible parents who rightly enforced consequences for our rebellious behavior (whether it was time-out, spanking, loss of privileges, grounding, extra chores, etc). As we grew up, state law became our school-master, reinforcing to some degree, our upbringing.. Years in church soaked our minds with religious law that also echoed our parent’s rules; subconsciously connecting this principle to our relationship with God. Everyone and everything around us seems to respond to our bad behavior with justice, reinforcing the foundation of eye for eye and tooth for tooth….

Only this hasn’t been my experience with God. And I imagine it hasn’t been yours either. James 2:13 states that mercy triumphs over judgement.

A kind answer soothes angry feelings, but harsh words stir them up. -Proverbs 15:1 CEV

My nerves were shot like heated electrified wires ready to explode. I was overcharged, tired, upset, angry and in a stew of self-pity rooted in victimhood. (The funny thing about a victim mentality is that it always places blame and thus becomes an accuser and predator. I have often found that people with a victim mentality take on the characteristics of an abuser)

“Why can’t you go the store for me?” I fussed at my husband with a rigid hand on my hip, “I’ve worked 10 hours today and you none. I’m exhausted!”

My husband looked at me with unmoving blue eyes and replied calmly to my toddler-like tantrum, “no.,” he said reaffirming his original answer.

My anger felt more like fury now.

How could he be so unsympathetic? If I wasn’t so mad, I would be at the brink of tears!

Eden pawed at my knees, seeking my attention. She wasn’t used to sharing me all day with the daycare kids and so after they left, she often wanted undivided mommy-time when I just wanted quiet, therapeutic me-time.

Picking her up, I rolled my eyes and slipped my purse over my shoulders, “fine.” I spat making sure to pass my husband the sternness look I could conjure. I slammed the front door behind me with as much zeal as the Beast to Belle when she refused to have dinner with him during her first night at his castle (“Fine! Then go ahead and starveeeeeeee!” After he slams the door on Belle he promptly tells his servants, “if she doesn’t eat with ME, then she doesn’t eat at ALL!!!”)

(Mind you, I had just come from a short but intense week of ministry school with a pretty famous healing evangelist. We talked mostly about not letting your flesh rule you in that school. And here I was, doing just that… acting in the flesh with flying colors.)

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. -1 Peter 4:8

As I sped drove to Walmart, I grumbled in the truck. “God, I’m so mad. I’m so upset. How could he treat me like this? Doesn’t he see how much I need help? Doesn’t he know how much these 50 hour weeks are taking it out of me?!”

I was sorely tempted to over-exaggerate this one instance of my husband’s refusal to do a grocery run for me and think things like: “he never does runs for me” or “he never understand where I’m coming from.”

I parked the car and took Eden out. Fingering through my i-phone, I found the detailed grocery list that I had made. I couldn’t wait to be in and out of Walmart as quickly as possible.

I unbuckled Eden and held her to me before brisk walking into the store. Once we were in, I put Eden in the cart. I began making my rounds and Eden soon became fussy. She wanted down. I knew she liked walking around the store and while I was hardly in the mood, I had compassion on her and set her down. She walked around merrily.

After awhile, things were looking more costly than I expected and my conscious began to prick me with stress. I began to pick and choose what I really needed and I skipped over the brand name versions of the items that I wanted to buy the less expensive Great Value versions. Eden began to misbehave by running off or whinnying when I would tell her to stay by me. I had to snatch several items from her hands and eventually I just put her back in the cart.

Lord, I can’t wait to get out here! I thought.

The checkout line was particularly long (or so it seemed. Since my attitude was bad I could have grossly overestimated it). Eden attempted to climb out of her seat and I was left trying to distract her with the things in the cart. I kissed her forehead and played with her hair.

Finally, it was my turn and while the cashier was plugging everything in, I was busy trying to appease Eden who grew increasingly fussy. The cashier gave me a once over and shortly afterward, quoted me the bill.

“Okay,” I said and pulled out my business card. It was a new card, and mostly my husband used it on grocery runs. (Remember, only an hour or so ago my flesh wanted to convince me that he never did grocery runs for me).

I fingered in the pin only for it to be rejected.

“Wrong pin.” She stated matter-of-factly.

“Oh,” I voiced, heat rushing to my face, “can I try again?”

“Sure.”

I tried again, only to make another error. I tried another time. Failure. My heart rate spiked and I peeked at my neighbors in line. Even though I knew this was my card, I felt guilty, embarrassed and ashamed. I imagined they all were thinking that I stole somebody else’s card and was using it. After all, who doesn’t know their own pin for crying out loud? Well, that person would be me.

To add insult to injury Eden began complaining loudly, “no! no! no!” She wanted out of the cart.

I attempted to appease her and simultaneously, I frantically searched my mind, desperately trying to remember my pin.

Giving up, I moved to pull out my personal card. I wasn’t sure how much money I had on it but I hoped it would be enough.

“I’ll just use this card.” I told the cashier, trying to hide how I was feeling.

She typed in a code for me to retry and I stuck in my card. It worked. Thank goodness.

“Thanks.” I said and put the bags in my cart before hurrying off to the exit.

As customary, the security employee stood by the door to check receipts. She was a short, light complexed young lady with dark hair. After scanning my receipt, she peeked into my cart and chose to scan the bag of golden delicious apples that I had bought for the daycare kids. Her machine showed a red circle with a white x on it. She said something wasn’t right and did it two more times. By this time, the line behind me was getting long. Thoughts of people thinking I was a thief again plagued me, leaving my face warm with shame.

Why wasn’t anything going right tonight? Perhaps it was my just dessert, for the way I spoke to my husband? Even though I don’t believe in karma, religious thoughts like this surfaced in my mind like wagging condescending fingers. It was as if I was placed under the curse of the law again…”all these evil things will befall you if you disobey the Lord your God…” -Deuteronomy 28:15

The security lady tried to explain to me what was wrong. She repeated herself at least twice but all I could hear were my own condemning thoughts and the sound of my heart in my ears. She pointed to the apples on my receipt and said something that made me wonder if I had been charged for one apple instead of a bag with ten apples. She told me to go to customer service and pointed me in the right direction. Humiliated, I turned my cart around and purposefully avoided the gazes of the people in line.

For surely You, O LORD, bless the righteous; You surround them with the shield of your favor. –Psalm 5:12 BSB

An older lady with short curly hair and a guttural voice was at the customer service counter. I went up to her and told her the little information I could remember form the security lady.

“Okay, let me see,” she said squinting her eyes to see clearly despite her reading specks.

“Huh?” she huffed and furrowed her brow. “Who checked you out?”

“I don’t know her name,” I said, “but I was on isle 3. What’s wrong?”

“You were severely overcharged. You see?” She pointed to the same area the security lady had.

My eyes widened.

“She charged you for ten bags of apples instead of just one bag! I don’t understand how she could have made that error when it’s pretty simple.”

After several minutes of conversation, she opened her cash register and handed me the money I was due.

“Which isle were you on again?”

I was beginnign to feel sorry for the young lady who had checked me out. I saw her walk past us from a backroom. She glanced my way and bowed her head before continuing on.

Did she overcharge me on purpose? I wondered at her reaction.

“I was on isle 3,” I said reluctantly.

I retreved my cash and thanked the customer service lady before taking my exit.

After loading up the truck and securing Eden in, I turned on the heater. It was night time now and cold outside. I had been in Walmart for much longer than I originally intended.

As I drove home, I couldn’t help but think about how God had protected me. Of all the things I had in my cart that the security lady could have scanned, she chose to scan the apple bag. I knew God had influenced that. Gratitude filled me because despite my bad attitude and the ill way I had treated my husband whom I was supposed to honor, God still washed me with grace. He still had His arms of favor around me. He moved things around me to show me that He was there. I hope you know that this is how He treats you as well. No matter how your day went, He wants to respond to you with mercy. I felt His warm fatherly smile and discerned His voice in my heart.

“No one shall steal from my righteous daughter. I surround you always with favor and love.”

Righteous? I hardly felt righteous. But His words came like a whiff of Heaven’s aroma, reminding me that I was in Jesus (Ephesians 5:30). And Jesus was my home.

His love and soft answer melted my stresses away. When my anxiety dissipated, deep love began to spread in my chest like sugary roots. I felt the healing peace that only comes when we know that we are right with God through Jesus (Romans 5:1). The Holy Spirit began to minister reconciliation in my soul (2 Corinthians 5:18) and assure me that He was my strength. He showed me that I was overly stressed and angry because I wasn’t receiving grace. My body began to feel like soil, soaked through with misty rain. The offense and wrath that I had against my husband washed clear out of my heart like a fan blowing a feather out of a room. Suddenly, I could hardly wait to get home to my husband.

When I arrived at the house, I found him typing on his laptop in my preschool room. I unloaded the truck and put Eden down. We naturally gravitated toward each other and I told him what had happened before apologizing. I wanted peace with him. He graciously forgave me and it felt so good to be in a place of harmony with him again.

I have discovered throughout my walk with Jesus that I never misbehave out of desire. Nothing in my new nature desires to be bad or hurt the ones that I love. Like Paul in Romans 7, I sometimes wrestle with doing the good that I desire to do and not doing the evil that I loathe. Even though I may do bad things, my recreated nature is good.

As born-again Christians we have God’s love nature inside of us. When we act outside of the law of love (which sums up all of the law and prophets), we tend to feel it. I know I feel it. In those moments, I don’t need somebody to tell me what a failure I am and I imagine you don’t either. I need someone to remind me who I am in Christ. I need someone to hug me and speak life over me. God almost always responds this way toward me. When I misbehave, His discipline goes to the very core of the issue. His instruction looks a lot like an overhaul of grace. I have found grace to be the greatest destroyer of sin because grace changes my identity and makes me depend on Jesus. Grace provides all my needs and thus destroys the appeal to sin.

For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace. -Romans 6:14

Often when I mess up God will tell me, “this isn’t who you are. Have you forgotten who you are? Let me remind you by being good to you.” His goodness is intended to lead us to repentance (Romans 2:4).

Years ago when I watched the Disney animation movie Moana (which I didn’t really care for, for personal reasons. Sorry Moana fans), I was reminded of who I am in Christ through a scene. It was the scene when Moana realized that Te Ka (a demon manifested in a fire and lava form) was really Te Fiti (a joyous and loving goddess with the power to create life). Moana’s discovery was equally as surprising to me. I thought, “that evil thing can’t be a life-giver!” Suddenly Moana’s whole attitude changed toward the raging fire ball of hate Te Ka. She bravely started walking toward her with the intent of returning her stolen heart and healing her. As the velvety turquoise waters of the ocean split, Te Ka saw her opportunity to kill Moana who sang tranquilly. She crawled toward her like a possessed creature, fuming black smoke as she screamed madly. Moana sang love and identity over her. These words struck my heart as I realized this is how the Holy Spirit treats me when I act in the ugliness of the flesh:

“I have crossed the horizon to find you. I know your name. They have stolen the heart from inside you. But this does not define you. This is not who you are. You know…who you are.”

Once Te Ka’s heart was returned, green golden light from within her began to crack the molten lava that was suffocating her lush skin. A beautiful smile spread across Te Fiti’s face as radiant flowers began to bloom over her body. After she was healed she went forth and did what was natural to her….she healed the land around her. She truly became a life-giver once she realized who she was.

To watch the scene, click here.

You see, before her heart was stolen Te Fiti was resting peacefully. The Life within her was creating beautiful life all around her. God used this scene (from an originally pagan story no less) to speak redemption to me. I understood that whenever I lose my rest and my inner peace, it’s because I’ve lost touch with the Life of Christ in me. Somewhere along the way, I’ve lost touch with my heart, my home…my Jesus. When that happens stress begins to manifest, fears spring forth, depression, anxiety and pressure begin to weigh me down like the clayed on lava that crusted Te Fiti’s green skin. In those moments of walking in the flesh (which produces death…or in Te Ka’s case, fire and brimstone), I need someone to look past my ugly behavior and see me the way God sees me…in the spirit. This Person for me has been the Holy Spirit.

I pray that you realize how God sees you despite your actions. You are not the mistakes of your past. You are not the stresses of your present. You are not an alcoholic. You are not bound by sin. You are not stained so bad that the blood of Jesus can’t make you whiter than snow. You are not used up waste (the results of what’s been done to you). You are not your thoughts or the thoughts of others toward you. You are not a mistake. You are not too much.

Dear one, YOU are God’s beloved child! He didn’t just cross the horizon of the earth to find you. He crossed Heaven, invaded earth and bankrupt Hell for you. He gave you all of His heart so that you can have abundant life inside. He’s already paid for your healing. He’s already paid the price for your sins. He’s already paid for your salvation, your redemption, your deliverance, your peace of mind (it’s all about what Jesus has done, not what you have done or what’s been done to you). God loves you. He’s never stopped loving you. He will never stop loving you: In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.  In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. -1 John 4:9-10

You have favor with God through Jesus Christ. His favor doesn’t just stop at saving us, His favor spreads across our lives. His favor is a daily reality. He cares about everything…even the simple little things like an overcharge for apples. I pray that you grow in awareness of all the ways He daily loves you and takes care of you.

We can never run out of reasons to thank Him for this undeserved favor <3

A recent picture of my husband Stephen and I. I treated us to a hearty breakfast while we had our Family United meeting. An idea Stephen and God came up with to help us create a vision for our ministry, marriage, family, and businesses and implement steps toward our goals.

~For information on my life coaching services, click here.

P.S: I used the returning of the heart scene in the fictional tale of Moana as an analogy of the scriptural reality of Christ in us (Colossians 1:27). I don’t claim any rights whatsoever to Moana. All credit goes to Disney and Ron Clements, John Musker, Don Hall, Chris Williams and everyone else involved. Also, I don’t believe in goddess because they are not scriptural, except given in example in heathen cultures (see Acts 19). I do believe in demons however since the Gospels are full of recordings where Jesus and the disciples cast them out of people. I hope you were greatly uplifted and encouraged through this devotional. Never forget that you are beloved of God.

Top photo by Kaboompics .com from Pexels

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Dream-Maker

Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it. -Proverbs 22:6

~What if God appeared to you and asked you, “what is it that you want? Whatever it is I will give it to you.”

It seems too good to be true doesn’t it?

Well it’s not because nothing is too good when it comes to God as Father.

These are the very words God spoke to me. These are the words He dearly longs for all of His children to hear and believe.

Years ago, I was in worship at Bible college. I was up in the front (my usual, comfy spot) with my arms outstretched worshipping God. After services were over the Dean of Women (whom I’ll call Mattie for privacy purposes) came up to me. She had a bright smile that radiated in her light blue eyes. She gave the best “grandma-like hugs” and she embraced me. She giggled warmly as she spoke, “I heard the Father say, ‘ask what you will and He will do it for you.'”

My face was not as enthusiastic as her’s, but I did smile, “thank you.”

I tried to act friendly and excited but the truth was, I wasn’t.

Mattie was one of the kindest and most loving women that I had ever met. Because she was sooo sweet, I didn’t know if she was just trying to encourage me in the “flesh” rather than in the Spirit.

I walked to work afterwards…which was at the college’s ministry phone center. I walked past a Floor Leader desk and suddenly my husband turned around in his swivel chair. He looked at me, “The Lord say’s ‘ask what you will and He will give it to you.'”

I half-smiled and went to my desk, prepping myself to pray for the myriad of precious callers who would be buzzing the phone lines soon.

As I sat there in my chair, God’s request of me began to nudge on my heart.

Ask.

Questioning God’s goodness isn’t foreign to most believers that I’ve met. And I’ve met quite a few..both in person and over the phones or net. It’s an unbiblical, religious mindset that questions the goodness of God because everything about God is good. He is the most cheerful Giver you will ever meet. His very nature is Love and love always gives the best (with no selfish strings attached).

For years I grew up in church and heard the above scripture about training up a child in the way they should go. I was always taught that it meant training them up to fear and follow the Lord. As a result I threw away my goals and dreams in pursuit of serving Jesus through work that I was not passionate about. I was taught that, “whatever you really don’t want to do, will probably be the thing that God asks you to do. And you just need to suck it up buttercup because this life is all about death to self in order to please God.” (I confess there is some truth in dying to self but it wasn’t explained accurately to me for many years). It’s absolutely detrimental on so many levels how religion paints God.

Scripture gives so many examples of God blessing people above and beyond what they asked for. When God gives, it’s like a lavish party that never ends. Solomon asked for wisdom and God said, “I will give you what you asked for! …And I will also give you what you did not ask for—riches and fame! No other king in all the world will be compared to you for the rest of your life!” -1 Kings 3:12-13 NLT.

God’s answer to Jabez’s prayer is one of my personal favorites (you can find it in 1 Chronicles 4:10). I have personally prayed a similar prayer to this.

God made all the patriots of our faith (Abraham, Isaac and Jacob) smashingly wealthy. I mean, over the top rich! They were so rich and famous that the nations around them were jealous but couldn’t do a thing because God’s favor surrounded them like a shield (just ask the Pharaoh who wanted to have Abraham’s wife whom he thought was his sister).

Years ago, I began to notice that Jesus never asked people what they needed from Him. He only asked them what they “wanted Him to do for them” (example: Mark 10:51). The Lord opened my eyes to this. Most people just asked for healing (and who can blame them?). But Jesus said, “your heavenly Father knows what you need already” (Mark 6:32). It was like He was inviting them to a feast they didn’t know existed. “Taste and see that I am good,” -Psalm 34:8.

C.S Lewis put this so eloquetly in his sermon “The Weight of Glory.” Here he writes the truth regarding most peoples poverty mindset when it comes to God’s infinite love and resources:

“If we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” (26)

Until now you have not asked for anything in My name. Ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete. -John 16:24 BSB.

I feel like I should give some personal examples now of how God has said “yes” to me:

  1. I asked Him to go to college but not ever have debt. So far I’ve been through roughly 9 years of college, vocational schools, certification programs, etc without debt and without government assistance.
  2. I asked Him that my first boyfriend would be my husband and that he would be a man who heard from God often…Stephen is just that and so much more! God knew what I wanted and needed.
  3. I asked to move to CO as a teenager because my two favorite Christian authors lived out there and because it just looked beautiful (not all my requests have been “spiritual.”), Years later I moved to CO for Bible college and didn’t even remember my earlier request as a teen until God reminded me. “You see Ashley? I give you good and perfect gifts.”
  4. I asked God for a baby and He enlarged my womb with life after personally speaking with my husband (who didn’t want a child at the time) that everything would be okay.
  5. I asked God to be able to start up my own preschool. I now have a home-based Christian school.
  6. I asked God to self-publish Visions of Celestial before Eden-Rain was born and start up Nourishment Through Words Press. He granted those requests.
  7. I asked God to move back home to California because I missed my family and the beach. A year or so later He again spoke to my husband, this time about moving, and now here we are.
  8. I asked God for money to be able to become a certified Christian Life Coach so that I could speak life and encouragement over others to follow their God-dreams. Father told me He would give me the money I needed and not to worry about it. He came through over and above the amount that I needed (which was a hefty amount).
  9. I asked God to not be a self-published author anymore but that i wanted to be a traditional-royalty based author. I began to pray to Him that He would connect me to a Christian publishing company that would be able to distribute my books to the masses. Just last week…He supernaturally gave me favor and my book has been picked up by a prestigious literary agency who want to present it to big publishers. I know this dream will come true also.
  10. I asked to see my brother this Christmas. He’s in the Navy and my heart has longed to see him personally. Later on today, my family and I will be going to AZ to meet him! Yay God.
  11. This list is exhaustless and could go on forever. So, I’ll stop here. I can’t help but smile and thank my Father.

You see, God as your Father has put certain passions, gifts, talents and desires in your heart. He’s not a tight-wad. You can ask Him and expect good things. They don’t even have to be spiritual things (I know I asked Him for chocolate cake on my 21st birthday and when I walked out my front door my neighbor who never spoke to me before had a table full of chocolate cake and said she wanted to share). God just delights in being good to you because He loves you. He has always loved you. He will always love you.

Please understand, asking God for things and expecting them, has got nothing to do with your goodness or holiness (at least not in your flesh)! Spiritually you were made the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21). When you accepted Jesus as your Savior and Lord, God made you a co-heir with Christ (Romans 8:17). He gave you a heavenly inheritance that manifest here and now on earth. “…The people who know their God shall be strong, and carry out great exploits.” -Daniel 11:32.

God wants you to ask Him. Come to Him like a well-loved child (because you are) and make your requests known to Him. Then, trust Him by letting Him guide you through the process of stepping into the reality of your dreams. Submitting to His Lordship is not painful. Submitting to His Lordship is allowing Him to lead you into abundant life. Into a life that is far better than you can imagine. Trust His heart. He only wants good things for you.

I find it interesting that the next scripture that follows training up a child is this: the rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender. -Proverbs 22:7.

I believe that when parents submit to God’s way of truly training their children up, that their children will flourish in life. And their children will live in great joy because this training will be tailored to their individual bent or talent. Meaning parents won’t squish their children’s dreams but help them discover their God-sized dream and encourage them in it. Their children will never be a servant to the lender. God as your Father never wants you to live in an impoverished state. In the Old Testament poverty was considered a curse. It’s not holy or good to be poor. If God doesn’t think it is, then I am confident in His opinion.

He wants you as His child to trust Him with the dreams in your heart, beleive Him through the process and experience His great goodness and ability in your life!

I pray that this blog post encouraged you to dream big and to run to the ever-open arms of your Father. I pray that you grow to trust God more for your life and that you walk in sensitivity with His Holy Spirit. He has glorious promises for you.

~If you need any prayer, encouragement and clarification on your God-dreams, I would love to help you on your journey! You can contact me for Life Coaching services! It’s absolute my pleasure to see you soar in the destiny that God has for you!

“I love you (Ashley) and I thank you because you’re the only one who stirs me up with my dream. God has ministered to me so many times! I think that those who truly pursue God’s dreams are few and far between. He gave me insight while I was singing with him that every single one of his children are supposed to be drenched in success and aiming high. God’s plans are no where near the standard that the average Christian has been walking in. It’s a beautiful thing and an awakening because he literally has an outstanding plan for everyone. If all of us would only tap into our skill sets and design, then we would all be hitting the nail on the head. Everyone’s glory was originally supposed to be huge! There is no mediocre lifestyle or money or love or blessing or talent or skill set or job in the body of Christ! We’re all the cream of the crop. Every single one of us but few of us believe and receive and tap into his mind. Few of us understand how huge God’s kingdom on earth is! I’m not waiting anymore. I’m running and I’m going to be diligent in what he asks me to do today! I’m going to believe it when he gives me insight about tomorrow! I will not waste my life away waiting.” -Chloe Lange, worshipper, wife, mother, Lioness Lips entrepreneur.

Love,

Your sister in Christ, Ashley xoxo

I chose this picture of my Father and i because I think it’s befitting to the message. This man (as seen on the right) has done more for me than I could have ever asked for…just like God. <3

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A Date with Jesus in the Swiss Alps

~A sequel to Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul’s story: A Date with Jesus. To read it for free, visit my Free Inspiration page <3

Your presence releases a fragrance so pleasing—
over and over poured out.
For your lovely name is “Flowing Oil.”
No wonder the brides-to-be adore you.
Draw me into your heart.
We will run away together into the king’s cloud-filled chamber. -Song of Songs 1:3-4 TPT

My heart yearned for him like a swallow for the wind. I longed to spread my wings and ride the current of his vaporous love until I was perfumed with the scents of his soul.

I wanted the oil of his skin to become like an eternal anointing on the terrain of my flesh. Jesus, my heart had cried…

The Swiss alps were quite a sight. Majestic mountains powdered with glinting white gold bounced reflective shafts of light from the sun’s aureate waves. Blades of emerald green grass made pockets like quilt along the rugged terrain— lustrous gemstones. Clouds formed puffy castles that spilt like rain in slow motion down the cliffs. Their fluid motions seemed celestial. The cloud cover glowed like pearls and appeared as rich as whole milk. A double translucent rainbow made an iridescent crest in the sky before touching down on a distant mountain that was hazed purple.

Image by Mario Léveillé from Pixabay

Richly clad people, sitting on crimson plush benches, leaned over each other to peek out the windows in the luxury tour train that seated us all. I noticed a woman with a remarkably large ruby ring set on a rose gold band. Her fine fingers were speckled with gold dust and she wore a long sleeved nude dress sequined with light bronze beads that formed star patters. The patterns were clustered around her lean torso and then thinned into a V shape around her tapered waist. Indeed, the jewels, so keenly fashioned into her gown they seemed a part of her flesh. Her caramel skin glowed like honey in the sun and she had amber eyes flecked with a darker cinnamon brown color. Her charcoal shiny black hair was tied back with a silver burette with tiny gems. A gold chain with a captivating moonstone hung from her petite neck. She arched a curvy eyebrow and her full lips painted red wine curved upward in a small, pleased smile. She lifted a perfectly manicured finger to the clear glass window and tapped. Rosy pearls hung in her ears.

Her lover, a man of lighter complexion rubbed her shoulders and kissed the nape of her neck. As beautiful as it was outside, his eyes were steadfastly set on her. His blue eyes were as clear and piercing as the sky over the ocean after a hurricane washed clear through. It was like morning light. His lustrous hair resembled the dark burgundy color of wet henna. He had a strong chin, Jude Law nose and his box beard shaped his chiseled jaw and lined his lower face.  He wore a collared white dress shirt underneath a dashing, long black trench coat. A Rolex Trench watch donned his left wrist. A thick golden band with curious inscription was on his middle finger. He looked like he could be a duke, and she a countess.

Suddenly aware of the enamor and wealth of everyone else’s attire, I became embarrassed for wearing my sky-blue pajamas under a cream wool robe. My hair was pinned up in fat dark chocolate brown twists and lip balm was my only facial dress.

Jesus sat across from me and because of my own self-awareness, I failed to notice the smoothness of his bronze skin. It was like a brown terrain of amber butterscotch as placid as silk. The corner of his lips lifted into a smile. A joy foreign to the world shone in His swirling chestnut eyes like sparkling fire embers against a velvety night sky. Deep peace came off of Him like a swell of sauna waves from an invisible ocean…

To read my first romantic novella about the Bridegroom love of Jesus, click here.

“The stories in this book will invite you into a marriage relationship with Jesus showing you what it looks like to be loved without condemnation. Ashley brings you into personal conversations with the one who’s very name is Love. Sometimes life just gets so busy and I grow distant from the Lord that I don’t hear His gentle voice wooing me, calling me to His side. As I read this book, Jesus was reminding me of His great love for me, reminding me that He actually longed to spend time with me. If you are longing to know what it means to be loved and romanced by your creator, read this book and allow Jesus to romance you like only He can!” – Rachel Sklenicka, Licensed minister and former missionary to Russia.

Top image by David Mark from Pixabay

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Comfort in a Rose

I wrote this story as a teenager, during the years of my new birth, when Abba first began to call me away with images of beauty that held spiritual concepts, and endeared His heart to mine. This story was taken from my book, Visions of Celestial Love.

Why Lord? With every step I take my feet embrace the soft, wood-brown earth beneath. Please answer me. This place is beautiful Lord, this forest is…enchanting.

The tall slender trees are spaced out so that they all stand comfortably apart from one another. The soil that feeds this forest is dark brown and beaded with white balls. It is soft, dry, and oily at the same time. I move the earth around in my hands and bring a pleasant handful to my nose. Sniffing it, I smell pine leaves with spring rain. I breathe it in and let out a long leisurely, “Ahhh.”

The tall trees canopy this forest, dappling my face with sunlight and shadows as I walk. Everything is quiet and still here. Nothing but the faint, low whisper of the wind through the trees and my own quiet breath and footsteps stir this forest. It’s wonderful, Lord. I smile with my heart, enjoying the slow-paced peace that surrounds me. I feel as if the world I am visiting is alive—but I do not fully believe it yet. I feel a divine Personality here.

I see up ahead a long bowl of water darkening the soil that outlines it. The water is clear, with a marine color, like the aqua band on my wrist. I walk, without thinking, toward the center of the pool. I see large, silver-color rocks; some have moss on their sides.

My right foot touches the water first, entering it, causing a dance of ripples. Nothing has ever felt so gentle to my skin, to my soul before. Water of life. The wooden bracelet on my left ankle gets a taste of this sweet water as I continue on. The wet earth that my feet embrace is a texture indescribable. It feels as if I were walking on wet silk. My toes wiggle and dig, covering themselves in sheer glee.

As the cool, enjoyable water reaches my elbow, I smile, and continue enjoying the fluid music it makes as I move through it.

Now I am completely covered, soaking in life. A bright yellow fish swims by me and stops for a moment to look into my maple, tea-colored eyes. I smile in the water, and the yellow fish with wide, blue eyes passes by. He swam so gracefully and freely, like drifting kelp.

The sand underneath the water is white like pearls, and the sunlight plays at the bottom of the water like silk in the sky. A large shark swims past me and I lift my hands to feel the bottom of his belly. Then a slender hammerhead swims past me.

A rose-pink jelly fish moves to the top of the water. As I near the center of the pool and look up, I too begin to rise. I drift up like a feather in the wind. My body moves in light and soft waves. My hair is dry as soon as it leaves the graceful waters. All of me is dry, except the bottom of my feet, which still stand on the water.

Only by faith can these things be achieved. I walk on, causing more streaming ripples that reflect the yellow sun to bowl out until they reach the end. My feet and body feel the warmth when I touch the familiar dry soil again, and I feel as if I have greeted a longtime friend. Bending down by the pool I cup my hands and bring the water to my face. After splashing my face with the water, I noticed the skin on my face was softer.

Why am I here? I whisper to the Lord. I enjoyed the land, but my heart knew not the purpose of my being here. My quiet spirit knew, but never spoke. Up ahead was a patch of eye-catching, yellow flowers grouped together. They were as bright as lemons, and as rich as sunflower petals.

I walked near, but stood back in awe as the flowers began to drift to the sky, dancing around in fanciful circles. They danced with one another, playing in the sky. Oh, how can my words describe to you such beauty? The appearance of them was like yellow glazed glass with fire inside. Moving along they floated, some in the sun and some in the shade.

Do you hear that? my soul whispers. I turn to see glowing butterflies equally as dazzling fly towards the petals. They blended in with them, so that I couldn’t discern what was petal and what was butterfly.

Spring grass scattered over the ground like the flowers, but most of the forest floor was earth and trees. I began to near a silver-colored rock and I slid down it before trotting again. Fluidly moving mist rested in this area of the forest and it sounded like celtic music to the ears. As the light mist thickened, I saw before me a rose, stretching up to the branches of the trees. The setting sun’s light colored the mist a warm, milk-orange and I started to climb up the rose using the thorns. They were like a ladder to me, and each one dulled itself, as if I were meant to climb this rose.

When my hand first touched the petals, peace fell over my body like a waterfall over rocks, soothing, and warming me more than any hot spring ever could. The extravagant patterns of the cream-peach texture amazed me. The petals at the center were smaller but all the more soft. I crawled to the center, feeling as if I were touching mist, touching oil, laying in silk, and moving in milk. My arms stretched out and my legs moved—feeling, moving, enjoying, and cherishing such a bed that wafted aromas from Heaven’s springs, from Heaven’s kitchen. Nothing has ever felt this good before.

The petals conformed to the shape of my body and enveloped me inside. I hugged a big petal and it felt like I was hugging a fluffy, white cloud. Not even water was as gentle as this. Each petal formed a hill, all of them together created a waving pattern. I soaked in the petals, becoming one with them and they with me, until my eyes grew heavy and I fell asleep, entering a world undefined.

After an ample night’s rest, I leisurely awoke to find the flower glowing as if the sun was inside. My cheek pressed against a petal as my eyes fluttered.

I had lost myself in the night. I had lost my fleshly nature—I lost every degrading lie I’d believed about myself. My spirit spoke to me as the flower lowered itself slightly and tilted so that I slid off. I watched the flower straighten again, but as I gazed at the soft petals I had just lain on, I realized there was a petal in my heart—a petal of peace, a petal of comfort.

Thank You, Lord, I told Him, smiling with closed eyes, I know why You sent me here.

My human eyes opened but my spiritual eyes saw now.

“When I read Visions of Celestial Love, it is as if I am brought down to my knees to worship. What the Holy Spirit has done in and through Ashley, He is doing also in me. What a wonderful experience. It is very rich. Thank you for sharing the treasure.”—Riko Suci Alam, CEO of Ligar Jaya and owner of Clove Garden hotel in Bandung Indonesia. 

Top photo by Jill Wellington from Pexels

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Psalm 45

~The reason why I write is because I just can’t get over Him. He’s worthy of worship, and this worship heals the souls of men.

For the Pure and Shining One, by the prophetic singers of Korah’s clan
A contemplative song of instruction for the Loved One
To the melody of “Lilies”

My heart is on fire, boiling over with passion.
Bubbling up within me are these beautiful lyrics
as a lovely poem to be sung for the King.
Like a river bursting its banks, I’m overflowing with words,
spilling out into this sacred story.

Beautiful! Beautiful! Beyond the sons of men!
Elegant grace pours out through every word you speak.
Truly God has anointed you, his favored one, for eternity!

Now strap your lightning-sword of judgment upon your side,
O mighty warrior, so majestic!
You are full of beauty and splendor as you go out to war!

In your glory and grandeur go forth in victory!
Through your faithfulness and meekness
the cause of truth and justice will stand.
Awe-inspiring miracles are accomplished by your power,
leaving everyone dazed and astonished!

Your wounding leaves men’s hearts defeated
as they fall before you broken.

Your glory-kingdom, O God, endures forever,
for you are enthroned to rule with a justice-scepter in your hand!

You are passionate for righteousness and you hate lawlessness.
This is why God, your God,
crowns you with bliss above your fellow kings.
He has anointed you, more than any other,
with his oil of fervent joy,
the very fragrance of heaven’s gladness.

Your royal robes release the scent of suffering love for your bride;
the odor of aromatic incense is upon you.
From the pure and shining place, lovely music
that makes you glad is played for your pleasure.

-Psalm 45:1-8 TPT

~Top photo by Kaboompics .com from Pexels

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White As Snow

~A sneak peek from my upcoming book, At The Time For Love, inspired by Ezekiel 16

I curled up on the couch and drew back the curtains. Powdery white snow flaked down like glinting pearl dust. I leaned my head against the plush sofa and my eyes drifted toward the heavy ivory clouds. I noticed how the tree branches gently swayed and how the few leaves they had left, rustled. I pulled my hands into my fuzzy sleeves and secured them under my arm pits. Just gazing outside gave me the illusion of a chill. Perhaps I was still weak from yesterday? Everything was so white, my eyes got lost and sometimes I couldn’t tell the difference between land and sky. The earth…all the mud was completely covered over. A sweet scripture came softly to my mind like the taste of syrup on my heart’s soft palate. “Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. (Isaiah 1:18 NIV)

My arms slowly uncurled and I felt warmth from the inside. I inhaled physical air even as my soul inhaled the grace that had already washed away all my stains.

My Autumn, unlike the dirt that is caked underneath the snow outside…you are not muddled underneath my righteousness. You have become my righteousness in my Son. You are all snow white. Stainless beauty. Living proof of the glories of my grace. Proof of my Son’s accomplishments. You never have need to be ashamed.

Like an infant yawning at dawn’s first light, my heart exhaled hidden shame. I felt as innocent as a new born babe. My body shivered from what was taking place and suddenly the warmth that I had begun to feel intensified. I dropped my arms to my side and let my robe open up at the center. I felt my heart glow like a miniature sun. How could God be so good? How could I have not known He was this good? What more of His love was there to be explored? I smiled without effort and thought of all the things Jesus had already done for me. Things, I was only now discovering thousands of years later. I wiggled my hands free from my sleeves and kissed my fingertips…pretending they were the toes of Christ.

“I love you, I love you,” I whispered affectionately. I hugged my chest, pretending that I was holding onto Jesus, “I love you, I love you my Lord.”

I chortled gaily and stood up before closing my eyes. I took imaginary hands and pretended I was slow dancing with Jesus. I dreamed that the carpet turned into a glass ballroom floor. After a few minutes, I opened my eyes and snatched up my journal. I wrote on the couch for almost two hours. Sometimes the noise from my sisters cleaning and chatting upstairs would distract me. However, the sweetness of God’s love easily captivated my attentions. I wrote out a prayer of thanksgiving and then a sonnet of love to God:

I love Your presence.

 Your warm embrace melts me inside, and implants seeds of joy in my heart that grow into suns, melting me even more.

 I love worshipping You, and love the feel of Your Spirit rushing within, stirring me, and embracing my skin.

 I love the joy You bring.

It is true that in Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

You are my greatest love.

 My holy, relentless Lover.

My David, slaying all my Goliaths.

My Romancer, spoiling me with the keepsakes of Heaven, with gifts extravagant, with pleasures far greater than any on earth, and with intimacy that awakens the deepest parts of me.

 I love Your arms—they hold me like a Father’s: pulling me closer to Your chest and letting me listen to Your heartbeat.

 Your breaths fall on me like a waterfall, moving tendrils of my hair and sweeping over my face.

 I love Your kisses.

The feel of Your lips on my head.

 Like hot coal it burns me within, tingling every inch inside me, and causing the hairs on my body to prick up with goose bumps.

 Oh, how I love worshipping You!

 It is my greatest joy!

My highest honor!

I think I see why the angels love worshipping You.

 I’ve tasted something so divinely sweet in the act and life of worship that I cannot go back to plain food.

The pleasure draws me.

 It lulls my heart, calling me more and more.

 You are my greatest desire.

My highest joy. My perfect peace.

My best comforter.

My only real and true Friend.

 My Creator.

 You are the Prince Charming who ran after my heart.

You fought every foe, and captured my affection slowly, as your love patiently captivated my heart.

 You romanced me until I melted away into You.

I crumbled in Your strong arms that caressed me tenderly.

 I evaporated in Your chest.

I dissolved in Your tears.

I floated in Your laughter.

You entranced me in every way.

 The brightness of Your face fascinated my eyes.

 You are my El Shaddai.

You’re my Rapha.

 I am my Beloved’s and His desire is for me.

I love living with You.

 Sharing life with You.

Awakening to find You smiling upon me by the side of the bed.

I love the feeling of Your fingers trailing my face, cupping my chin.

I love You so much that I even love Your rules!

 I love Your beautiful holiness.

Your righteousness is life.

I love You.

 I love You.

 I love You.

You first loved me.

You will always love me.

 You have secured me as your own.

I am your own.

 Nothing brings me greater joy than knowing that I belong to You.

By the time I was done scribbling, my journal was stained with tears. I sniffled and swiftly wiped at my eyes. “Will I ever stop crying?” I questioned hoarsely, my voice rough with emotion. “It seems all I do lately is cry.” Just as quick as my pondering came, the answer came right behind it. It’s a softening of your heart. Your tears are proof of my rain in the garden of your heart. I chewed on my bottom lip. “Okay…” I said resolved not to fight God anymore. I thought of how God must cry tears of joy often.

            A clanking noise caught my attention and I looked over my shoulder. Mama had lingered out of her library and was now in the kitchen. She was bending over and deciding on which pot she would use. After retrieving the crock pot, she stood. She went to the sink where some chicken had thawed. She took out tomato paste, creamy tomato soup, chicken broth, three cheese tortellini noodles, savory spices, onions, garlic, and a few other choice ingredients. I watched her pour ingredients into the crock pot and then dice up vegetables. I thought to ask her if she needed help but then decided against it. I knew she would say no. Plus, I didn’t want to intrude and risk a scolding. She seemed focused and I knew how she didn’t like to be interrupted when cooking. After putting everything in the crock pot, she started shaking spices in it. I always wondered how she could do that without ever measuring and yet come out with perfectly seasoned meals! I imagined only food in heaven could surpass hers. No chef in the world could rival my mother…. although I hadn’t ever traveled out of the country, I was sure of my conviction.

When she was finished Mama washed her hands and cleaned up the counters. She glanced up at me and I averted my eyes, pretending that I had been studying the fireless hearth the whole time.

            “Autumn, why haven’t you washed and combed out your hair?”

            “Huh?” I asked and turned my body toward her.

            “Your hair?”

            I almost slapped my hand against my face, “oh gosh. I’m sorry. I completely spaced.”

            Mama remained tight lipped for a few seconds, then her eyes gentled, “you were catching up on your writing?” she asked pointing to my journal that laid on my lap.

I nodded and she sighed before the corner of her lips lifted slightly.

            “That’s good dear. Your father always encouraged you with your writing.”

I nodded again, thinking fondly of Papa. Mama slowly made her way toward me. I tensed but then relaxed when I saw her demeanor.

She touched my shoulder and sat on the coffee table in front of me. “I’m glad you are able to relax and do something that you love today.”

“Thanks mama,” I said smiling.

Her eyes flickered, a soft shimmer welling them, “and I’m sorry that I didn’t encourage you in your gifting like your father.”

My fingers tightened on my journal before becoming sweaty, “it’s okay mama” I said, thinking of no other suitable response.

She shook her head, “no it’s not dear.” Her bottom lip quivered slightly and she rested a hand on my knee, her fingertips brushing my knuckles.

Her gaze drifted to the words in my journal. At first, I thought to hide them out of routine fear, but I realized I had nothing to hide, least of all from her. I turned my journal with a hand so she could read the words without tilting her head. She accepted my invitation bravely and even picked up my journal. She read quietly and I could feel my pulse in my neck.

I played with the wooly fabric on my sleeves and kept my gaze in my lap. Several moments went by and I wondered how long it would take her to finish. Jittery, I began to comb my fingers through the knots in my hair. When mama was finished, she softly placed my journal beside her. She curled her pointer finger under my chin and guided my face up so I could see her.

“God has given you an anointing to write dear.”

A huge smile stretched my lips upward. “Do you really think so?”

She nodded her head.

“Thank you, Mama!” I sang.

“You have words for the world dear,” she encouraged and then played with the damaged ends of my hair, “now go wash this please.”

I chortled and stood up to go shower. I took a step forward and then retreated and bent down to wrap my arms around her neck. Mama embraced me tightly and kissed my cheek, “my Autumn. I’m so proud of the woman you are becoming.”

I pulled my face away to look her in the eyes, “thank you Mama.” I whispered hoarsely and retreated away before I teared up.

For the first time in my life, mama had complimented my writing. I didn’t realize how starved I was of her approval before, until now. The want in my heart had been met and it was profounder than I realized. Hidden places were watered.

~If you enjoyed this sneak peek, you may also enjoy my book Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul. It’s based on the sacred romance between Christ and his Church. The short stories are designed to be like healing dates with Jesus…the lover of the human soul. You can purchase an ebook copy by clicking here.

Picture taken from the Facebook group: Peaceful Moments for Women
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He is Healing

~A short devotional on healing, written by Stephen McClelland.

Jehovah Rapha. “I WAS, I AM, and I ALWAYS WILL BE your healing.”

Let’s say my hands were covered in dirt, with motor oil, or something else hard to get clean. Or, say I had an infectious disease like leprosy. If I touched you with my unclean hands, you would be unclean where I touched you.

But when Jesus touched a leper, Jesus didn’t become unclean and infected. The leper became clean.

The leper asked Jesus, “if you are willing, you can make me clean.” Jesus answered “I am willing, be made clean.” And He touched him.

A God that is still able, and just as willing. You can’t clean up enough to receive Him, His touch is what cleanses you. Whether it is physical healing, or something else in your life that makes you feel unclean and unworthy.

Not a God that heals, but a God that IS healing. Not a God that changes your circumstances and makes things hard on you to clean you up, but a God that exudes cleansing from within Himself.

All it takes is one touch. “Be made clean and whole.”

Stephen McClelland is a licensed minister and a church consultant . A graduate of Charis Bible College. He runs a radio show in California called Encounter, where he retells amazing personal stories of people experiencing Jesus. He has served God as a preacher and pastor, with a strong emphasis on relationship with God and hearing His voice. He runs a ministerial website where viewers can listen to inspirational messages designed to mature believers in grace and truth. To visit his webpage click here. 

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He is Good

The land was wet with the moisture of a previous rain. Blades of spring grass lush with life carpeted the rolling hills in a sea of emerald green. Trees splashed the mountain sides like jade gems. A translucent double rainbow bright like polychromatic flowers formed a crescent behind misty rain clouds. The rising sun shone and cast brilliant light over the hills that spilled down the mountains like gold paint. Everything was alive, lavish, delightful.

Creation sang like an echo of eternity. “He is good.” Everything He is displays goodness. How wonderfully creation reflects your glory. It shows what Moses discovered when You revealed yourself as good. His face shone and He trembled not to climb up the mountain that boomed with power because He knew the heart behind the power…good. Transcendent thoughts bloom in my mind from the beauty of your creation. Is this what your kingdom is like? Your kingdom of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit?

I smile as I realize…you offer eternal beauty in the hearts of men. You bring amazing comfort with the breath of your Spirit. Heaven has come to earth in those who are fully yielded to you. This is a matter of trust, this is an invitation to surrender. Seeing your goodness causes me to trust and rest on your shoulder.

I can yield, I can bow, because You are eternal beauty defined. I can surrender because You are light where there is no shadow and every good and perfect gift comes from your hand. –James 1:17.

~If you’ve enjoyed this short devotion, check out my book Visions of Celestial Love. It’s filled with mini devotions just like this one. Enjoy a cup of coffee, a pumpkin spice latte or a cup of herbal tea as you savor each moment with Father.

“Ashley presents us with a true cornucopia of modern psalms, personal testimonies, and short stories. She has set out to reveal and unravel some of the most complex heart issues mankind faces in our quest of understanding what true intimacy with God really looks like. Prepare to have your soul massaged and worked on as you read Visions of Celestial Love.” — Jeremy Minard, Founder of Servant King Apparel, Active US Navy

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Responsibility is Freedom

“Responsibility is freedom.”

His words defused my bad temper like a whiff of warm steam meeting winter’s wind. My frustrations melted like butter smeared across baking bread.

Suddenly, I knew God was talking to me.

You see, only moments ago I was boiling with frustration at my bunny Charity.

I had been trying to potty train her for weeks and she was taking longer than expected to learn this “simple thing.” (Yes, you can potty train rabbits. It’s fairly easy actually).

Normally, I was very patient with her but I had grown tired of micromanaging her every time I let her out of her cage. Whenever I took her out of her cage, I would have to stop her from biting on furniture. I would have to pick up her poo and scrub her pee out of the carpet. I would have to stop her from digging into the rugs or chewing on the curtains, pillows and walls. (Yes, bunnies are pretty destructive creatures. But their adorableness makes up for it).

I wanted her to hop around the house because it gave her such joy. And it pleased me to see her happy and skipping around. She would dash from corner to corner and leap like a mountain goat. Her whimsical motions bubbled joy.

Because I loved her, I didn’t want her to be locked up in the cage. That was not my heart’s desire for her. But every time I let her out of the cage, her pleasure came at my expense. Her freedom was WORK for me!

Finally, after several minutes of frustration one day, I picked her up and placed her in the cage. I locked it shut and in my anger, I proceeded to give her a lecture (completely ignoring the fact that bunnies do not speak English). With my hands on my hips I fussed, “you know, if you would just poop and pee where I’ve been showing you, you could be out of that cage. If you wouldn’t chew on things you weren’t supposed to, then you could hop around this house all day and hardly EVER have to be in your cage. I would let you out all the time! This entire house could be yours freely if you would just grow up!”

That’s when God spoke to me. He came like a Father in loving correction (Proverbs 3:12).

His voice was full of healing truth, “I feel the same way about you Ashley like you do your rabbit.”

My breath caught.

“Father?”

“Responsibility is freedom. I love it when you are able to be free in my house because it gives you pleasure. But I have to follow behind you and clean up your messes.”  

I understood immediately what He meant. After all, I had just been through it with Charity (and suddenly, I was feeling more sympathetic toward her).

Now obviously I don’t scratch on walls, poop everywhere or bite on furniture like Charity does, but the analogy was cohesive to my reality during that time. I was attending Bible college, working as a prayer minister and my husband was about to start pastoring a home church. God was opening up his house to us in amazing ways…but He was saddened because He couldn’t allow me to roam freely in his home (at least not without a lot of tedious micromanagement).

“Everyone cries for freedom and desires to be free. However, most of us who cry for freedom do not understand freedom, or the nature of liberty. It is a tragic reality that we do not understand the qualifications of true freedom. True freedom demands great responsibility, accountability, a spirit of stewardship, maturity, wisdom and character.” –Dr. Myles Monroe, The Burden of Freedom

You see, as children of God, our Father wants us to play freely in his house. He wants us to enjoy every aspect of our inheritance as his child. He wants us to know that the God who owns the earth, sky, heavens, and all the gold and diamonds is our Daddy. He wants us to fully enjoy our life. He wants us to experience the abundant life Jesus died and rose again for us to have.

In God’s house, there are many mansions (John 14:2). In each mansion, we can guess there are rooms. In all of His rooms there are pleasures unspeakable because his presence is there (Psalm 16:11). As a child of God, you have been given the inheritance of Jesus Christ. (Romans 8:17). You were put in Christ and Christ was put in you (1 Corinthians 1:30 and 1 Corinthians 6:17). You automatically became royalty when you were born again (1 Peter 2:9). And the noun “royalty” always denotes a kingdom.

Did you know that you are a part of a kingdom? A heavenly kingdom that exists (and is very active) even on earth? God delights in giving you the kingdom (Luke 12:32). You are his precious child in whom He delights and loves. Like any loving father, God wants you to enjoy his house because it’s meant to be your home.

As with all royalty, you and I have great privilege but we also have great responsibility. In order for us to enjoy the freedoms of ruling and reigning in life through Jesus Christ we need to be mature. I am not talking about the free gift of salvation here but delegated leadership. We need to grow up by conforming to the image of Jesus Christ through grace (Romans 8:29). This growing up has looked a lot like embracing truth for me. It’s looked a lot like serving others and using my gifts and talents to encourage the body of Christ. It’s been a lot of bowing my knees to God in true worship by exalting his Word above my feelings and the philosophies of the world.

This maturing has yielded the most peace, blessing and immense joy in my heart. I can now walk through more rooms in my Father’s house without child-like “supervision.” Although I haven’t walked through all the rooms, I have much more freedom than I used to. And because of God’s grace and powerful transformation in my soul, I have now been placed in a small position of “government” in His kingdom (Isaiah 9:6). It is a huge thing to be entrusted by God to “tend his sheep.” (John 21:16). Tending the sheep for me has been one of the final rounded turns in the circle of godly love (1 John 4:6-13). The things that were once dreams in my heart are coming to reality.

My prayer for you is that you will embrace the process of growth in Christ. I pray that you will enjoy ruling and reigning in the area of jurisdiction that your heavenly Father wants to give to you. I pray you realize that you were predestined unto good works that God had in mind before you were born (Ephesians 2:10). I pray that you will see all your desires fulfilled by unifying yourself with Jesus and that this will not only bring you immense joy but draw your heart closer to Him. I pray that you will walk in the authority and power of the kingdom of heaven. May the earth see Jesus through you. May the world be blessed by the work of your hands. May the God of all hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope (Romans 15:13). May you never be lost in despair or darkness, but may the Light of the world (Jesus) shine upon you like the blazing morning sun. May all that’s ashes in your life be turned to beauty. May you recognize the royal robe of favor and sonship that has been donned on you through Jesus. And may you run your race to win. In Jesus name, amen. I’m cheering you on!

If you find yourself in need of some clarity on what your purpose is or if you know your God-purpose but don’t know how to reach it, I am a certified Christian Life Coach. I would love to partner with you on your journey to greater freedom. The King of Heaven is your Father and He has made you to display the splendor and majesty of heaven because you carry his image. More importantly, He loves you with an everlasting love and calls you to Himself. His plans for you are only good. He is not against you but for you (Romans 8:31). He never thinks ill of you. His thoughts toward you are precious and kind (Psalm 139:17).

Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers.  Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ.  This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ.  Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth.  Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.  He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love. –Ephesians 4:11-16

I’m proud to announce that Charity is potty-trained now!