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The law was brought in so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more- Romans 5:20 NIV

Have you ever behaved terribly and been blessed right after? Or lost your temper at a loved one and then been shown favor by God?

 It seems like an oxymoron, doesn’t it?

“Good behavior gets good results; bad behavior gets bad result”. Culturally we’ve been saturated with this kind of thinking. We were raised by good, responsible parents who rightly enforced consequences for our rebellious behavior (whether it was time-out, spanking, loss of privileges, grounding, extra chores, etc). As we grew up, state law became our school-master, reinforcing to some degree, our upbringing.. Years in church soaked our minds with religious law that also echoed our parent’s rules; subconsciously connecting this principle to our relationship with God. Everyone and everything around us seems to respond to our bad behavior with justice, reinforcing the foundation of eye for eye and tooth for tooth….

Only this hasn’t been my experience with God. And I imagine it hasn’t been yours either. James 2:13 states that mercy triumphs over judgement.

A kind answer soothes angry feelings, but harsh words stir them up. -Proverbs 15:1 CEV

My nerves were shot like heated electrified wires ready to explode. I was overcharged, tired, upset, angry and in a stew of self-pity rooted in victimhood. (The funny thing about a victim mentality is that it always places blame and thus becomes an accuser and predator. I have often found that people with a victim mentality take on the characteristics of an abuser)

“Why can’t you go the store for me?” I fussed at my husband with a rigid hand on my hip, “I’ve worked 10 hours today and you none. I’m exhausted!”

My husband looked at me with unmoving blue eyes and replied calmly to my toddler-like tantrum, “no.,” he said reaffirming his original answer.

My anger felt more like fury now.

How could he be so unsympathetic? If I wasn’t so mad, I would be at the brink of tears!

Eden pawed at my knees, seeking my attention. She wasn’t used to sharing me all day with the daycare kids and so after they left, she often wanted undivided mommy-time when I just wanted quiet, therapeutic me-time.

Picking her up, I rolled my eyes and slipped my purse over my shoulders, “fine.” I spat making sure to pass my husband the sternness look I could conjure. I slammed the front door behind me with as much zeal as the Beast to Belle when she refused to have dinner with him during her first night at his castle (“Fine! Then go ahead and starveeeeeeee!” After he slams the door on Belle he promptly tells his servants, “if she doesn’t eat with ME, then she doesn’t eat at ALL!!!”)

(Mind you, I had just come from a short but intense week of ministry school with a pretty famous healing evangelist. We talked mostly about not letting your flesh rule you in that school. And here I was, doing just that… acting in the flesh with flying colors.)

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. -1 Peter 4:8

As I sped drove to Walmart, I grumbled in the truck. “God, I’m so mad. I’m so upset. How could he treat me like this? Doesn’t he see how much I need help? Doesn’t he know how much these 50 hour weeks are taking it out of me?!”

I was sorely tempted to over-exaggerate this one instance of my husband’s refusal to do a grocery run for me and think things like: “he never does runs for me” or “he never understand where I’m coming from.”

I parked the car and took Eden out. Fingering through my i-phone, I found the detailed grocery list that I had made. I couldn’t wait to be in and out of Walmart as quickly as possible.

I unbuckled Eden and held her to me before brisk walking into the store. Once we were in, I put Eden in the cart. I began making my rounds and Eden soon became fussy. She wanted down. I knew she liked walking around the store and while I was hardly in the mood, I had compassion on her and set her down. She walked around merrily.

After awhile, things were looking more costly than I expected and my conscious began to prick me with stress. I began to pick and choose what I really needed and I skipped over the brand name versions of the items that I wanted to buy the less expensive Great Value versions. Eden began to misbehave by running off or whinnying when I would tell her to stay by me. I had to snatch several items from her hands and eventually I just put her back in the cart.

Lord, I can’t wait to get out here! I thought.

The checkout line was particularly long (or so it seemed. Since my attitude was bad I could have grossly overestimated it). Eden attempted to climb out of her seat and I was left trying to distract her with the things in the cart. I kissed her forehead and played with her hair.

Finally, it was my turn and while the cashier was plugging everything in, I was busy trying to appease Eden who grew increasingly fussy. The cashier gave me a once over and shortly afterward, quoted me the bill.

“Okay,” I said and pulled out my business card. It was a new card, and mostly my husband used it on grocery runs. (Remember, only an hour or so ago my flesh wanted to convince me that he never did grocery runs for me).

I fingered in the pin only for it to be rejected.

“Wrong pin.” She stated matter-of-factly.

“Oh,” I voiced, heat rushing to my face, “can I try again?”

“Sure.”

I tried again, only to make another error. I tried another time. Failure. My heart rate spiked and I peeked at my neighbors in line. Even though I knew this was my card, I felt guilty, embarrassed and ashamed. I imagined they all were thinking that I stole somebody else’s card and was using it. After all, who doesn’t know their own pin for crying out loud? Well, that person would be me.

To add insult to injury Eden began complaining loudly, “no! no! no!” She wanted out of the cart.

I attempted to appease her and simultaneously, I frantically searched my mind, desperately trying to remember my pin.

Giving up, I moved to pull out my personal card. I wasn’t sure how much money I had on it but I hoped it would be enough.

“I’ll just use this card.” I told the cashier, trying to hide how I was feeling.

She typed in a code for me to retry and I stuck in my card. It worked. Thank goodness.

“Thanks.” I said and put the bags in my cart before hurrying off to the exit.

As customary, the security employee stood by the door to check receipts. She was a short, light complexed young lady with dark hair. After scanning my receipt, she peeked into my cart and chose to scan the bag of golden delicious apples that I had bought for the daycare kids. Her machine showed a red circle with a white x on it. She said something wasn’t right and did it two more times. By this time, the line behind me was getting long. Thoughts of people thinking I was a thief again plagued me, leaving my face warm with shame.

Why wasn’t anything going right tonight? Perhaps it was my just dessert, for the way I spoke to my husband? Even though I don’t believe in karma, religious thoughts like this surfaced in my mind like wagging condescending fingers. It was as if I was placed under the curse of the law again…”all these evil things will befall you if you disobey the Lord your God…” -Deuteronomy 28:15

The security lady tried to explain to me what was wrong. She repeated herself at least twice but all I could hear were my own condemning thoughts and the sound of my heart in my ears. She pointed to the apples on my receipt and said something that made me wonder if I had been charged for one apple instead of a bag with ten apples. She told me to go to customer service and pointed me in the right direction. Humiliated, I turned my cart around and purposefully avoided the gazes of the people in line.

For surely You, O LORD, bless the righteous; You surround them with the shield of your favor. –Psalm 5:12 BSB

An older lady with short curly hair and a guttural voice was at the customer service counter. I went up to her and told her the little information I could remember form the security lady.

“Okay, let me see,” she said squinting her eyes to see clearly despite her reading specks.

“Huh?” she huffed and furrowed her brow. “Who checked you out?”

“I don’t know her name,” I said, “but I was on isle 3. What’s wrong?”

“You were severely overcharged. You see?” She pointed to the same area the security lady had.

My eyes widened.

“She charged you for ten bags of apples instead of just one bag! I don’t understand how she could have made that error when it’s pretty simple.”

After several minutes of conversation, she opened her cash register and handed me the money I was due.

“Which isle were you on again?”

I was beginnign to feel sorry for the young lady who had checked me out. I saw her walk past us from a backroom. She glanced my way and bowed her head before continuing on.

Did she overcharge me on purpose? I wondered at her reaction.

“I was on isle 3,” I said reluctantly.

I retreved my cash and thanked the customer service lady before taking my exit.

After loading up the truck and securing Eden in, I turned on the heater. It was night time now and cold outside. I had been in Walmart for much longer than I originally intended.

As I drove home, I couldn’t help but think about how God had protected me. Of all the things I had in my cart that the security lady could have scanned, she chose to scan the apple bag. I knew God had influenced that. Gratitude filled me because despite my bad attitude and the ill way I had treated my husband whom I was supposed to honor, God still washed me with grace. He still had His arms of favor around me. He moved things around me to show me that He was there. I hope you know that this is how He treats you as well. No matter how your day went, He wants to respond to you with mercy. I felt His warm fatherly smile and discerned His voice in my heart.

“No one shall steal from my righteous daughter. I surround you always with favor and love.”

Righteous? I hardly felt righteous. But His words came like a whiff of Heaven’s aroma, reminding me that I was in Jesus (Ephesians 5:30). And Jesus was my home.

His love and soft answer melted my stresses away. When my anxiety dissipated, deep love began to spread in my chest like sugary roots. I felt the healing peace that only comes when we know that we are right with God through Jesus (Romans 5:1). The Holy Spirit began to minister reconciliation in my soul (2 Corinthians 5:18) and assure me that He was my strength. He showed me that I was overly stressed and angry because I wasn’t receiving grace. My body began to feel like soil, soaked through with misty rain. The offense and wrath that I had against my husband washed clear out of my heart like a fan blowing a feather out of a room. Suddenly, I could hardly wait to get home to my husband.

When I arrived at the house, I found him typing on his laptop in my preschool room. I unloaded the truck and put Eden down. We naturally gravitated toward each other and I told him what had happened before apologizing. I wanted peace with him. He graciously forgave me and it felt so good to be in a place of harmony with him again.

I have discovered throughout my walk with Jesus that I never misbehave out of desire. Nothing in my new nature desires to be bad or hurt the ones that I love. Like Paul in Romans 7, I sometimes wrestle with doing the good that I desire to do and not doing the evil that I loathe. Even though I may do bad things, my recreated nature is good.

As born-again Christians we have God’s love nature inside of us. When we act outside of the law of love (which sums up all of the law and prophets), we tend to feel it. I know I feel it. In those moments, I don’t need somebody to tell me what a failure I am and I imagine you don’t either. I need someone to remind me who I am in Christ. I need someone to hug me and speak life over me. God almost always responds this way toward me. When I misbehave, His discipline goes to the very core of the issue. His instruction looks a lot like an overhaul of grace. I have found grace to be the greatest destroyer of sin because grace changes my identity and makes me depend on Jesus. Grace provides all my needs and thus destroys the appeal to sin.

For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace. -Romans 6:14

Often when I mess up God will tell me, “this isn’t who you are. Have you forgotten who you are? Let me remind you by being good to you.” His goodness is intended to lead us to repentance (Romans 2:4).

Years ago when I watched the Disney animation movie Moana (which I didn’t really care for, for personal reasons. Sorry Moana fans), I was reminded of who I am in Christ through a scene. It was the scene when Moana realized that Te Ka (a demon manifested in a fire and lava form) was really Te Fiti (a joyous and loving goddess with the power to create life). Moana’s discovery was equally as surprising to me. I thought, “that evil thing can’t be a life-giver!” Suddenly Moana’s whole attitude changed toward the raging fire ball of hate Te Ka. She bravely started walking toward her with the intent of returning her stolen heart and healing her. As the velvety turquoise waters of the ocean split, Te Ka saw her opportunity to kill Moana who sang tranquilly. She crawled toward her like a possessed creature, fuming black smoke as she screamed madly. Moana sang love and identity over her. These words struck my heart as I realized this is how the Holy Spirit treats me when I act in the ugliness of the flesh:

“I have crossed the horizon to find you. I know your name. They have stolen the heart from inside you. But this does not define you. This is not who you are. You know…who you are.”

Once Te Ka’s heart was returned, green golden light from within her began to crack the molten lava that was suffocating her lush skin. A beautiful smile spread across Te Fiti’s face as radiant flowers began to bloom over her body. After she was healed she went forth and did what was natural to her….she healed the land around her. She truly became a life-giver once she realized who she was.

To watch the scene, click here.

You see, before her heart was stolen Te Fiti was resting peacefully. The Life within her was creating beautiful life all around her. God used this scene (from an originally pagan story no less) to speak redemption to me. I understood that whenever I lose my rest and my inner peace, it’s because I’ve lost touch with the Life of Christ in me. Somewhere along the way, I’ve lost touch with my heart, my home…my Jesus. When that happens stress begins to manifest, fears spring forth, depression, anxiety and pressure begin to weigh me down like the clayed on lava that crusted Te Fiti’s green skin. In those moments of walking in the flesh (which produces death…or in Te Ka’s case, fire and brimstone), I need someone to look past my ugly behavior and see me the way God sees me…in the spirit. This Person for me has been the Holy Spirit.

I pray that you realize how God sees you despite your actions. You are not the mistakes of your past. You are not the stresses of your present. You are not an alcoholic. You are not bound by sin. You are not stained so bad that the blood of Jesus can’t make you whiter than snow. You are not used up waste (the results of what’s been done to you). You are not your thoughts or the thoughts of others toward you. You are not a mistake. You are not too much.

Dear one, YOU are God’s beloved child! He didn’t just cross the horizon of the earth to find you. He crossed Heaven, invaded earth and bankrupt Hell for you. He gave you all of His heart so that you can have abundant life inside. He’s already paid for your healing. He’s already paid the price for your sins. He’s already paid for your salvation, your redemption, your deliverance, your peace of mind (it’s all about what Jesus has done, not what you have done or what’s been done to you). God loves you. He’s never stopped loving you. He will never stop loving you: In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.  In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. -1 John 4:9-10

You have favor with God through Jesus Christ. His favor doesn’t just stop at saving us, His favor spreads across our lives. His favor is a daily reality. He cares about everything…even the simple little things like an overcharge for apples. I pray that you grow in awareness of all the ways He daily loves you and takes care of you.

We can never run out of reasons to thank Him for this undeserved favor <3

~For information on my life coaching services, click here.

P.S: I used the returning of the heart scene in the fictional tale of Moana as an analogy of the scriptural reality of Christ in us (Colossians 1:27). I don’t claim any rights whatsoever to Moana. All credit goes to Disney and Ron Clements, John Musker, Don Hall, Chris Williams and everyone else involved. Also, I don’t believe in goddess because they are not scriptural, except given in example in heathen cultures (see Acts 19). I do believe in demons however since the Gospels are full of recordings where Jesus and the disciples cast them out of people. I hope you were greatly uplifted and encouraged through this devotional. Never forget that you are beloved of God.

Top photo by Kaboompics .com from Pexels

Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it. -Proverbs 22:6

~What if God appeared to you and asked you, “what is it that you want? Whatever it is I will give it to you.”

It seems too good to be true doesn’t it?

Well it’s not because nothing is too good when it comes to God as Father.

These are the very words God spoke to me. These are the words He dearly longs for all of His children to hear and believe.

Years ago, I was in worship at Bible college. I was up in the front (my usual, comfy spot) with my arms outstretched worshipping God. After services were over the Dean of Women (whom I’ll call Mattie for privacy purposes) came up to me. She had a bright smile that radiated in her light blue eyes. She gave the best “grandma-like hugs” and she embraced me. She giggled warmly as she spoke, “I heard the Father say, ‘ask what you will and He will do it for you.'”

My face was not as enthusiastic as her’s, but I did smile, “thank you.”

I tried to act friendly and excited but the truth was, I wasn’t.

Mattie was one of the kindest and most loving women that I had ever met. Because she was sooo sweet, I didn’t know if she was just trying to encourage me in the “flesh” rather than in the Spirit.

I walked to work afterwards…which was at the college’s ministry phone center. I walked past a Floor Leader desk and suddenly my husband turned around in his swivel chair. He looked at me, “The Lord say’s ‘ask what you will and He will give it to you.'”

I half-smiled and went to my desk, prepping myself to pray for the myriad of precious callers who would be buzzing the phone lines soon.

As I sat there in my chair, God’s request of me began to nudge on my heart.

Ask.

Questioning God’s goodness isn’t foreign to most believers that I’ve met. And I’ve met quite a few..both in person and over the phones or net. It’s an unbiblical, religious mindset that questions the goodness of God because everything about God is good. He is the most cheerful Giver you will ever meet. His very nature is Love and love always gives the best (with no selfish strings attached).

For years I grew up in church and heard the above scripture about training up a child in the way they should go. I was always taught that it meant training them up to fear and follow the Lord. As a result I threw away my goals and dreams in pursuit of serving Jesus through work that I was not passionate about. I was taught that, “whatever you really don’t want to do, will probably be the thing that God asks you to do. And you just need to suck it up buttercup because this life is all about death to self in order to please God.” (I confess there is some truth in dying to self but it wasn’t explained accurately to me for many years). It’s absolutely detrimental on so many levels how religion paints God.

Scripture gives so many examples of God blessing people above and beyond what they asked for. When God gives, it’s like a lavish party that never ends. Solomon asked for wisdom and God said, “I will give you what you asked for! …And I will also give you what you did not ask for—riches and fame! No other king in all the world will be compared to you for the rest of your life!” -1 Kings 3:12-13 NLT.

God’s answer to Jabez’s prayer is one of my personal favorites (you can find it in 1 Chronicles 4:10). I have personally prayed a similar prayer to this.

God made all the patriots of our faith (Abraham, Isaac and Jacob) smashingly wealthy. I mean, over the top rich! They were so rich and famous that the nations around them were jealous but couldn’t do a thing because God’s favor surrounded them like a shield (just ask the Pharaoh who wanted to have Abraham’s wife whom he thought was his sister).

Years ago, I began to notice that Jesus never asked people what they needed from Him. He only asked them what they “wanted Him to do for them” (example: Mark 10:51). The Lord opened my eyes to this. Most people just asked for healing (and who can blame them?). But Jesus said, “your heavenly Father knows what you need already” (Mark 6:32). It was like He was inviting them to a feast they didn’t know existed. “Taste and see that I am good,” -Psalm 34:8.

C.S Lewis put this so eloquetly in his sermon “The Weight of Glory.” Here he writes the truth regarding most peoples poverty mindset when it comes to God’s infinite love and resources:

“If we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” (26)

Until now you have not asked for anything in My name. Ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete. -John 16:24 BSB.

I feel like I should give some personal examples now of how God has said “yes” to me:

1. I asked Him to go to college but not ever have debt. So far I’ve been through roughly 9 years of college, vocational schools, certification programs, etc without debt and without government assistance.
2. I asked Him that my first boyfriend would be my husband and that he would be a man who heard from God often…Stephen is just that and so much more! God knew what I wanted and needed.
3. I asked to move to CO as a teenager because my two favorite Christian authors lived out there and because it just looked beautiful (not all my requests have been “spiritual.”), Years later I moved to CO for Bible college and didn’t even remember my earlier request as a teen until God reminded me. “You see Ashley? I give you good and perfect gifts.”
4. I asked God for a baby and He enlarged my womb with life after personally speaking with my husband (who didn’t want a child at the time) that everything would be okay.
5. I asked God to be able to start up my own preschool. I now have a home-based Christian school.
6. I asked God to self-publish Visions of Celestial before Eden-Rain was born and start up Nourishment Through Words Press. He granted those requests.
7. I asked God to move back home to California because I missed my family and the beach. A year or so later He again spoke to my husband, this time about moving, and now here we are.
8. I asked God for money to be able to become a certified Christian Life Coach so that I could speak life and encouragement over others to follow their God-dreams. Father told me He would give me the money I needed and not to worry about it. He came through over and above the amount that I needed (which was a hefty amount).
9. I asked God to not be a self-published author anymore but that i wanted to be a traditional-royalty based author. I began to pray to Him that He would connect me to a Christian publishing company that would be able to distribute my books to the masses. Just last week…He supernaturally gave me favor and my book has been picked up by a prestigious literary agency who want to present it to big publishers. I know this dream will come true also.
10. I asked to see my brother this Christmas. He’s in the Navy and my heart has longed to see him personally. Later on today, my family and I will be going to AZ to meet him! Yay God.
11. This list is exhaustless and could go on forever. So, I’ll stop here. I can’t help but smile and thank my Father.
    

You see, God as your Father has put certain passions, gifts, talents and desires in your heart. He’s not a tight-wad. You can ask Him and expect good things. They don’t even have to be spiritual things (I know I asked Him for chocolate cake on my 21st birthday and when I walked out my front door my neighbor who never spoke to me before had a table full of chocolate cake and said she wanted to share). God just delights in being good to you because He loves you. He has always loved you. He will always love you.

Please understand, asking God for things and expecting them, has got nothing to do with your goodness or holiness (at least not in your flesh)! Spiritually you were made the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21). When you accepted Jesus as your Savior and Lord, God made you a co-heir with Christ (Romans 8:17). He gave you a heavenly inheritance that manifest here and now on earth. “…The people who know their God shall be strong, and carry out great exploits.” -Daniel 11:32.

God wants you to ask Him. Come to Him like a well-loved child (because you are) and make your requests known to Him. Then, trust Him by letting Him guide you through the process of stepping into the reality of your dreams. Submitting to His Lordship is not painful. Submitting to His Lordship is allowing Him to lead you into abundant life. Into a life that is far better than you can imagine. Trust His heart. He only wants good things for you.

I find it interesting that the next scripture that follows training up a child is this: the rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender. -Proverbs 22:7.

I believe that when parents submit to God’s way of truly training their children up, that their children will flourish in life. And their children will live in great joy because this training will be tailored to their individual bent or talent. Meaning parents won’t squish their children’s dreams but help them discover their God-sized dream and encourage them in it. Their children will never be a servant to the lender. God as your Father never wants you to live in an impoverished state. In the Old Testament poverty was considered a curse. It’s not holy or good to be poor. If God doesn’t think it is, then I am confident in His opinion.

He wants you as His child to trust Him with the dreams in your heart, beleive Him through the process and experience His great goodness and ability in your life!

I pray that this blog post encouraged you to dream big and to run to the ever-open arms of your Father. I pray that you grow to trust God more for your life and that you walk in sensitivity with His Holy Spirit. He has glorious promises for you.

~If you need any prayer, encouragement and clarification on your God-dreams, I would love to help you on your journey! You can contact me for Life Coaching services! It’s absolute my pleasure to see you soar in the destiny that God has for you!

“I love you (Ashley) and I thank you because you’re the only one who stirs me up with my dream. God has ministered to me so many times! I think that those who truly pursue God’s dreams are few and far between. He gave me insight while I was singing with him that every single one of his children are supposed to be drenched in success and aiming high. God’s plans are no where near the standard that the average Christian has been walking in. It’s a beautiful thing and an awakening because he literally has an outstanding plan for everyone. If all of us would only tap into our skill sets and design, then we would all be hitting the nail on the head. Everyone’s glory was originally supposed to be huge! There is no mediocre lifestyle or money or love or blessing or talent or skill set or job in the body of Christ! We’re all the cream of the crop. Every single one of us but few of us believe and receive and tap into his mind. Few of us understand how huge God’s kingdom on earth is! I’m not waiting anymore. I’m running and I’m going to be diligent in what he asks me to do today! I’m going to believe it when he gives me insight about tomorrow! I will not waste my life away waiting.” -Chloe Lange, worshipper, wife, mother, Lioness Lips entrepreneur.

Love,

Your sister in Christ, Ashley xoxo