~This is a sneak peek at my upcoming book, At The Time For Love, based on the holy marital covenant God made in Ezekiel 16. I hope you enjoy! <3
I gazed into his frozen emerald eyes. His frame stood like a mountain over mama’s. His broad shoulders were once the landscape that I leaned on.
Just as sorrow threatened to rise I heard the voice of the Holy Spirit, I am with him. He will be home soon.
“Thank you for looking after him.” I whispered to my divine Friend.
Always. I will never leave him or forsake him.
The Holy Spirit ministered to my soul as I went in my parents’ bathroom. It smelled of fragrant oils and I opened the sea foam green cabinet with a sapphire blue knob. I saw mama’s oils in a clear container. After opening it I searched for the two peppermint and myrrh. It took a while to finger through and read the tiny labels, but after a few minutes I successful retrieved them. Making sure to roll the dark amber oil glass containers in place, I secured the lid back on before putting the container back. As I raised I noticed a weathered looking letter addressed to mama. I could see faded black words in ink through the folding. It looked like Papa’s penmanship. Curiosity itched my mind but I withdrew purposefully. I was sure it was a letter that all of us had read before. And besides, I didn’t want to go sifting through anything that mama wasn’t aware of.
I made my way into the kitchen and saw that David had taken out several ingredients for the cookies. He was already done with the alcoholic mixture and Thomas seemed very well contended sipping it.
“High quality stuff,” Thomas said leaning back in the chair causing two of the legs to lift off the floor.
“What did I tell you about that?” Mama gently reprimanded and Thomas quickly corrected his posture. Kendell was finishing his drink and I saw the annoyed, tight-lipped expression on his face as he glanced at Thomas. He surely didn’t expect the tables to be turned on him like it was.
When I came within eyeshot of mama she waved for me to follow her. I was grateful we weren’t going to have our one on one in the same room as my brothers…especially with the mood of things.
Mama took me back down the hallway but this time instead of making a right turn we made a left. I saw we were headed to her library, also known as papa’s office.
She closed the door behind us and I waited for her direction.
She stretched her hand out with an open palm, signaling for me to sit on the plush kali tufted chaise lounge chair. The smell of old books was like wearing a comforting sweater to my senses.
I took her nonverbal cue and sat down at the edge of the chair. She took up a small bag from the large mahogany desk and looped around me before sitting at the base. Her legs stretched forward on both sides of my hips and I briefly grabbed the hazelnut cushion to steady myself.
“Lean back a little dear,” she welcomed.
I obeyed and held out the oils over my shoulder. She took them and put them beside her.
Slowly and quietly she unwound my hair.
Soft red curls made long waves down my back and fell by my lower spine. Mama gathered the hair in her hands and gently flicked her hands, causing bunches of my hair to fan out and then return like a swing at a park.
“Such glorious flames,” she praised.
I almost blushed as a swell of heat flushed my cheeks.
“Thanks mama.”
“I’m glad you never cut yours like Ginger.”
I nodded, “me too. Although I know Ginger likes her short Shirley temple bob.”
Mama agreed, “I do too. I didn’t think I would… but her haircut suites her. She had eyes to see what I couldn’t.”
“Hmmm…she had eyes to see what none of us could…even papa.”
Mama made a noise that left me wondering. I heard her untwist the lid to one of the oils. Within a few seconds I knew it was the peppermint one because the strong refreshing aroma burst into the air like a birthday candle being lit.
Mama let a few drops fall on her finger tips before she began massaging the therapeutic oil into my scalp. Her nimble but gentle hands immediately caused my shoulders to relax. I closed my eyes and let myself breathe in deeply.
After a minute or so of receiving a silent scalp rub mama spoke, “I believe you have eyes to see what others cannot dear.”
My eyes opened at that.
“What do you mean?” I asked curiously.
Mama didn’t answer at first. She picked up the brush and began stroking my hair. She seemed to be searching for a way to verbalize her thoughts. Finally, she spoke.
“I believe you have a way of seeing God that is special.”
My heart went warm.
“I think everyone has their own special way of relating to God.”
“Of course, we all do,” mama agreed, “everyone must have their own personal relationship. He’s not a distant God. He’s right here,” she tapped the skin over my heart and then her own. “And He’s up there,” she said pointing toward the heavens.
Mama reached for the comb when she hit a few small knots. I was amazed that I had missed the amount that I did.
“But dear…it isn’t the personal relationship I was talking about. It’s your child-like innocence.”
I didn’t know how to respond so I remained quiet.
“Few people grow up and remain so oblivious to…the corruption of the world. If not the corruption then at least the knowledge of the evil.”
“Oh mama, if that’s anybody in this house then it’s Ginger.” I said trying not to sound dismissing.
“Yes, Ginger is pure and unsurprisingly so. She’s 14 and has been homeschooled her whole life.”
Several seconds passed by and mama sighed. I didn’t know whether it was from the tangles in my hair or something bottled inside of her. “Autumn…you see God in everything dear. He talks to you. He shows you things…and you listen. You may not express it much but you listen.”
“It’s why I write.” I confessed and felt my eyes water. I didn’t know why I was reacting the way I was. “I don’t know how else to give life to what He speaks to me. I try to live out the way He wants but I find I fall short often…especially with my mouth.”
She worked in silence, waiting for me to continue.
“But I’m coming to realize He’s not after my performance. He’s been after my heart…my fears…my desires and our relationship. I think once I let Him in…the behavior will naturally follow.”
“Of course, it will,” mama said lovingly and kissed my ear.
A tear slipped from my eye and I wanted to hide it but didn’t.
“He’s amazing mama. More amazing than I ever knew. More amazing than I understand now. And He’s so close. So close and always present to all my needs. He knows everything about me and He just wants in on everything because He just wants me.”
My vision blurred and I wrung my fingers.
“When did this start happening?” I heard mama whisper thickly to herself. Her voice was so hushed I thought I’d imagined it.
“About the time James came to town,” I said without meaning to. The words flew out of my mouth but it was like I was hearing them being spoken by a stranger.
“What?” Mama asked, her pitch much higher this time.
I bite my fingernails into the cushion and held my tongue.
“Autumn?” Mama questioned when I stayed quiet.
I gulped slowly. I had just realized the truth of it myself and I was still processing everything. More so, I was mortified that my mother was the first to know!
“Autumn?” She inquired again, this time with a little more force.
“Huh?” I answered innocently.
“What do you mean?”
I glanced down at my hands. I felt a tingling sensation in my chest…like saccharine roots burrowing down in my heart.
She had completely forgotten about my hair. Her hands were now on my arms. I risked and leaned back into her chest and she embraced me. Clear trails of tears lined my cheeks.
“Oh honey. Why are you crying?” She asked surprised.
Woman, why are you crying? I remembered the first words of Jesus when He had resurrected from the dead. Healing words meant to comfort his beloved friend Mary Magdeline.
Mama hugged me more snuggly and she planted light kisses across my forehead.
Mama, I love him! I wanted to say. It felt so safe to tell her but I couldn’t bring myself to do it and I wasn’t sure why.
“It’s just…he has been such an example of Jesus in our friendship. And I know our relationship has made me open up to God in ways I hadn’t before. I feel like I’ve let go of some fears and so I’ve been able to grow up in Christ and mature more.”
“You certainly behave more maturely…and you even dress more…womanly.” Mama commented thoughtfully. Her eyes flickered and I saw she was thinking. A pensive look overshadowed her face and then a brightness.
“You and James are good friends?”
My heart thudded in my chest.
“Yes, we are.” I admitted.
“Just friends?” Mama asked.
Dread came over me and I felt the blood rush down from my face. “Not just friends. We’re…uh…brother and sister in Christ.” I bleated. I was grateful for the scapegoat.
“Well of course you are,” mama chuckled warmly, “I already knew that.”
I raised up and she released me.
Before she could say anything more about James I rushed away from discussing him, “he’s helped me open up to God more without realizing it. But mostly I hear from God when I’m away from James. He speaks to me in the night before I go to bed…well that is…if I listen. I find myself talking to Him more when I wake up. And I’ve been seeing things too mama. Such beautiful things. I can’t fully describe them.”
Mama played along, “what kind of things dear?” she asked untwisting the myrrh. I described to her the vision I had in James truck on my way to see Carol and Josh for the first time.
Her breath caught when I told of her seeing people from every tribe, tongue and nation worshipping…and how big Jesus was that all I could see was his legs and feet.
She sniffled and said emotionally, “I could almost see it when you were talking.”
“I think that’s the first time anything like that’s happened to me.”
“Yes….” Mama said slowly, a corner of her lips lifted, “and you said you were in James’ truck?”
I sighed loudly, “yes, but what does that matter?”
“It doesn’t unless it does.”
“Well it doesn’t.”
“Doesn’t it? You just said so yourself that your relationship with God has changed since you’ve known James.”
“I…I think God just used James to introduce me to Himself in ways He’s been trying to for a long time now.”
“God uses people hun. We are His body. He seldom if ever moves without us. We are His temple, His church, His children…” she began massaging the myrrh into my scalp before whispering, “His bride.”
I unconsciously stiffened.
“But you don’t have to tell me anything that you’re not ready to,” she continued, “I could tell you’ve been blossoming over the past few months. You’re like a late rose, opening up to reveal the most beautiful petals. You’re maturing. At the time for love.”
I chortled nervously, “I think Paige and David are at that stage mama. They are more mature than Kendell, Thomas or Ginger and I.”
“Yes, they are.” She agreed.
“If you want grandchildren, I would recommend them first.” I tried to make my voice sound flat and emotionless.
“I never said anything about grandchildren,” Mama said pleased, “but the sound of some is a nice change.”
I bit my bottom lip and said nothing.
Mama detected my spiking nervous energy and began a prayer, “Jesus, thank you for Autumn. I pray you help her to receive more of your love and to show her how much I love her. Thank you for steadily driving out any fears or misconceptions that she may have toward herself, You and her family. I pray that one day she understands fully that she can share anything with me. Strengthen our relationship by your love and Spirit. In your name I pray, amen.”
Her prayer eased me as well as the way her fingers rubbed into my skin.
We both sat in silence until she was done. I was grateful that she didn’t press me anymore.
Afterward she French braided my hair and it resembled a stocky glossy rope.
She tied the bottom with a green elastic band.
“There,” she exhaled satisfied.
I spread my fingers as my hand trailed down the braid, “thank you mama.”
“You’re welcome dear.” She said and began putting everything away in the bag.
I stood and when she gave me her nonverbal approval, I headed for the door.
Just as I reached the doorframe she called me back.
“Autumn?”
“Hmm?” I said turning to face her.
“For the record. If you were to like James and he, you in return, I couldn’t be more pleased with it.”
My lips parted unintentionally.
She continued, “I think he’s one of the godliest young men that I’ve ever met. He’s genuine, giving, wise, loving, and… handsome too.” She chuckled with a wink.
I rubbed my arm, “so you wouldn’t mind at all mama?” I asked bravely.
“No. I would wish him to marry one of my girls. In fact, I would pray that all of you find a man with characteristics such as him.”
I couldn’t help myself. A broad and blushful smile spread across my face, lifting my cheeks and causing them to rose in hue like unfolding flower petals.
Mama saw my reaction and smiled brightly in return.
James already had her approval and I knew the odds with David were in my favor. It was only papa that concerned me now.
“Thanks mama,” I said and then dipped my chin, “I do like him. I love him.”
Mama’s eyes misted now and she touched a hand to the skin that surfaced her heart, “does he love you back?”
I nodded and she rose from her chair before coming toward with arms wide open.
She hugged me tightly for a long time and I rested my cheek on her shoulder—sobbing and laughing. Peace like a flood washed over my whole being. I felt so light and free.
Mama kissed my cheek. Her lips were wet with salty tears. I didn’t expect her reaction to be so admirable and jovial. Our elation was almost tangible.
I leaned my whole body into her and she hugged my torso securely.
After what seemed like eternity and a few seconds at the same time, we parted. She cupped my face, “did he propose?” she asked.
I laughed brokenly, “no mama. He wants permission to court me.”
“A man like James has only one thing in mind with courting…a permanent relationship.”
“I’d marry him tomorrow if he asked.” I confessed.
Mama threw her head back and laughed. When she was finished she wiped tears of mirth form her eyes, “not so fast turbo. We need your father to walk you down the aisle remember? I’d doubt he’d want David to substitute such an important event.”
My smile slowly faded, “papa doesn’t know James.”
“It won’t take him long to read him. Your father has a gift for discerning people.”
When I said nothing, she assured me again and then asked, “is this why James wants to speak with your brother and I?”
“Yes,” I admitted.
“He’s such a gentleman.”
“He is.”
“Has he ever kissed you?”
My face flamed, “no mama! At least…not on the lips.” I sounded more alarmed than I intended.
“Hands then?” She asked undeterred.
“Yes ma’am.”
I could tell she wanted more information but decided it was best not to pry. She smiled at me fondly, “I’m so happy.” She said and in her hazel eyes, I truly saw she meant it.
“Me too.”
That afternoon and evening, I labored for several hours over Paige’s knitting tools to make Danielle a scarf. Time bled together and I only stopped to go to the bathroom or indulge in David’s delicious ginger cookies. It was a meticulous but rewarding task and I listened to environmental music while I created. My imagination took me away into previous encounters with James while I worked. Love like sweet honey coated my soul like the glaze over a donut.
That night, mama surprised me with homemade chai tea latte. She even frothed the milk and sprinkled cinnamon on top. Paige, Ginger, and Thomas helped themselves to a cup while Kendell settled for hot apple cider.
Mama enjoyed some herbal tea and before long David descended the stairs after an extra-long hot shower.
I was surprised to find him shirtless with nothing but his wool white long johns on, and some thick cotton socks. His ash brown hair was damp and locks of it stuck to his forehead. His skin was tanning nicely and was taking on a goldish shade. I had forgotten how muscular and lean he was. He was my brother and the only time I thought about those kinds of things was when I was wrestling him…and losing. His broad shoulders were set like armor above his washboard abs. His jaw was smooth from shaving which illuminated his handsome face. Despite his shower, his emerald eyes showed signs of weariness.
“Before anyone say’s anything. I apologize for the lack of clothing,” he announced with palms open and then turned to Paige, “where are we doing this thing?”
I looked at Paige curiously who seemed unable to answer his question.
Before she could speak he sighed, “don’t make me climb those stairs again.” He pointed a thumb behind him.
“Alright,” she lightly huffed and then removed some pillows off of the couch, “lay here.”
He collapsed chest down on the couch and turned his head to face us. Paige went to the kitchen and took a face towel out of a boiling pot of water with some tongs. She let it cool on the counter for a few minutes while she poured David a glass of water over some ice.
She put a powder mixture in it and then stirred with a spoon.
“Here you go,” she said handing it to him, “some electrolytes and vitamins to help you recover.”
He lifted his head lazily, “thanks.”
~For more stories like this. Check out my latest book, Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul (Pleasure that makes you whole)!
“Ashley your personal encounters have illuminated through these stories. They have reminded me of my personal relationship with my Savior Jesus. I used to have an empty seat at the table when I ate or fluff a pillow by mine when I went to bed.
I love the way you describe each person and each heart in your stories. Every one of these beautiful stories is heartfelt. Everyone of these stories carries a strong message. A message of love, a message of faith and a message of the importance of meeting Jesus right where we are. Thank you for the opportunity of being able to share my thoughts on your new upcoming book! May God come alive in each person who picks it up to read it, may God touch hearts and bring souls closer to Him.” –Ramona Trevino, Pastor, Author, Education Specialist and host of Blossoms of My Life radio show on KKMC 880
