“And the LORD will continually guide you, And satisfy your desire in scorched places, And give strength to your bones; And you will be like a watered garden, And like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.” -Isaiah 58:11
I think it’s so easy to neglect the deep care our souls need.
In the busyness of life, in the deceit that other things are more important, and the constant distraction and to to-do lists, our heart connection with Jesus can be pushed to the side.
But Jesus is everything we need and our relationship with Him is the most precious relationship in all the world.
We need Him. He is our Life. He is our Truth. He is our Healer. He is our Savior. He is our Lord. He is our Counselor. He is the medicine our hearts need.
He is, I Am.
This has not been an easy year for me so far. Before the end of February, Stephen and I had 4 deaths of people we have known, cared for, and loved. And I haven’t made time to truly stop and grieve properly.
In the same breath, I saw revival break forth in a part of our nation that was beautiful. More personally, several of my Bible students had encounters with God in class that were healing, amazing and personally comforting. I saw students crying, embracing one another, bowing their heads in prayer, and reaching out to touch Jesus. One girl student described seeing Jesus as a majestic lion with a mane of fire, warm golden eyes and big, white, comforting wings. As she shared her vision of Jesus, my husband, who was in a different state, broke out in tears because the anointing of God was so strongly felt by him. That day of worship and prayer was so special.
I’ve recently dealt with bouts of fear, one of them being job loss because of lack of finances in my school.
Then there’s been the familiar nagging of the spirit of the enemy coming against my own tender and sacred dreams. He has sought to sow seeds of doubt, hopelessness, and depression that the dreams I believe God has promised me will never come true. There’s been the excitement of hearing from my literary agent that a Christian publisher requested two samples of my work…only to have weeks of silence after.
This season has been full of paradoxes: joy, revelation, fear, doubt, brokenness, blessings, grief, breakthrough, and chronic struggles.
Through it all, Jesus has come after my heart. Through it all, He’s invited me to trust in Him. Sometimes I find myself running so fast, that it feels like Jesus must run up to me and tap me on the shoulder to get my attention.
A week ago, I searched inside myself and finally asked Jesus for help. When I slowed down enough, I realized what the underlining source of my running is:
I’m running to keep up a façade of perfection. I’m running from the broken places of wounding that have been buried for years in my soul (which is a real detriment because the enemy has used these hidden aching places to keep me in perpetual pain). I’m running from secret insecurities and fears that I just don’t want to deal with because it feels too hard for me to fix. And I haven’t wanted to be vulnerable and share these things with the Body of Christ (the church) because I feel too unsafe and for some reason, I think sharing my weaknesses and needs with others might be an unwelcome burden to them. It just feels too messy.
So, I’ve been running.
But Jesus is called our Forerunner (Hebrews 6:20).
He already has run the ultimate race for us. He ran and won the prize of eternal life. And He frequently reminds me that eternal life isn’t just for Heaven. It’s the life of God He provided for us through His death and resurrection (which many believers will more closely observe this April for Easter/Passover). He gave His life not just so we may go to Heaven, but so that we can have the kingdom of Heaven on earth which the Bible describes as righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit (Romans 14:17).
Running to me represents striving. I never want to be in a place of striving because Jesus is our Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6). If I am striving, it means there’s an undercurrent of doubt or fear lodged in my soul that keeps me from trusting in God’s ability for my own ability. I don’t want to put my trust in this world.
“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” -John 14:27
Are you striving in any area of your life?
Are there any places of unrest in your soul?
Are you experiencing the beautiful, wholesome, healing, and powerful peace of the Holy Spirit on a daily basis?
If not, then I pray Jesus will tap you on the shoulder and draw you ever deeper into His heart until his peace becomes as common as your breathing. I pray you will experience the love of the Father in a way that fills your life with fullness, joy, blessings, comfort, hope, and everything good Jesus paid for you to have. His heart toward you is so good and He has a special place in His heart for you. Along with that, is a special plan for your life.
Lastly dear friend, as I have prayed for you, may you say a prayer for me? That I may receive the deep and sweet inner healing Jesus wants me to receive and that I may release my need for control for His amazing and loving Lordship? I don’t want to have an idol of control in my heart where His throne should be (James 5:16).
There is a place of rest He has promised us, and it is sweeter and grander than the Promise Land He gave to Israel (Hebrews 4). I’ve been in that secret spiritual place before. I’ve tasted the wonder and beauty of His kingdom on earth before and it is to this place that I constantly want to abide.
Just this morning a student in my class told me she was in a lot of pain. She confessed she didn’t go to bed until 3am because of how bad it was. I noticed she was quieter in class than normal, and she didn’t look very well. She told me her chest felt constricted, it was hard for her to breathe and that she was sick. I felt prompted to pray for her. Even though I was having an emotional morning and some doubt flared up, I pushed my insecurity away and offered her prayer. She said yes to receiving prayer and so I laid my hands on her and prayed for Jesus to touch her, I asked the Holy Spirit to minister healing to her body and spoke life over her body and peace and love over her soul. At recess she told me, “Mrs. Thompson, as soon as I went into my other class after you prayed for me, I felt completely better. All I needed was prayer.” I noticed her mask was off now, and later, I watched as she ran across the parking lot and played around with other students. She wasn’t short of breath anymore, instead she was full of energy.
A miracle had taken place. Jesus touched her body. This just happened today. And through this instant God reminded me that He is with me. That He loves people. That He never wants any of us to suffer whether it’s emotional, physical, or spiritual because Jesus paid for our healing through His death and resurrection (Isaiah 53). Even as I sit, in some emotional pain, the healing of this student brings me hope for my own healing.
Our Jesus is amazing. We have His life inside of us. We are born again from above (John 1).
I would love to share this refreshing song with you about Jesus being the restorer of your soul by Sarah Hart Pearsons:
(I do not own any rights to this lovely song)
-For more words of counsel, and the grace of God, check out my book, Visions of Celestial Love, by clicking here:
An Invitation into Healing Intimacy with God
“A delightful book that reflects the praises from a heart that desires to abide closely with our Heavenly Father. Written in a style that summons us to experience a journey of deeper intimacy with a loving God. Ashley covers the foundation of the Christian faith that brings encouragement and assurance of God’s promises when faced with life’s challenges. Embracing our uniqueness and the safety of transparency before our Maker who cares about the most intricate details of our life. Yes, an invitation indeed from the One and only who can fill what are heart’s ache for.” — Jocelyn Reyna
Bless you dear one reading this. Until next time, may the peace of God guard your heart and mind and may you grow in your trust of Him.
Warm Sincerity from Your Sister in Christ,
Ashley
xoxo