-This snippet is taken from the revised version of my book, Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul.
The rich truth in Jesus’s words began settling over me like a weighty revelation. For a moment, I stared at a stately marble pillar decorated with a large ruby. Flames from nearby heat lamps danced on the glassy surface of the ruby like burning carmine and gold stars.
Jesus grabbed one of my hands with one of his, before completely covering it with his other hand. The feeling of his large palm over my skin was comforting. I studied the terrain of his swarthy skin with my sensors and experienced the paradox of toughness and gentleness in his touch. His palm carried the callouses of carpentry as well as the softness of a Healer.
Temporarily putting my question aside, Jesus stated soothingly, “The fertile soil of your heart has already been made wet with my presence. Your heart is a garden that only needs to receive the healing words that I speak.”
“Healing,” I whispered, mostly to myself as a broken place in my heart called out. I winced in pain and patted my heart with my free hand as if to comfort the splintered place.
Jesus continued with a compassionate look in his eyes, “You cannot ignore nor belittle the damage that’s been done to your heart through lies and wounding experiences. Nor should you berate your heart by condemning it for hurting. Your heart is my treasure.”
“But the hurt is still there.”
“I know my dear, that’s why I’ve come. My compassions are kindled together for you.”
I didn’t fully believe his words, so I unconsciously began to turn away from his gaze. I felt sorry for giving him a cold shoulder. I willed myself to face him again but some sinister lie in my mind fought against it. Outside of myself, the same unwelcome presence that had followed me for months hovered near, feeding this lie.
“I am not what religion has taught you. I do not look upon a wounded person in a ditch and sneer at them with consternation and ask, ‘Where is your faith?’ I do not jeer at the bruised. I will not break a bruised reed, nor will I snuff out a smoldering wick.[i] I am not cold nor indifferent. Don’t put any pressure on your heart that I don’t place there.”
I faced him now, “It’s so hard for me to not pressure myself, because I genuinely want to be perfect for you. I want to be everything that you deserve and a daughter who always pleases her heavenly Father.”
“You are already pleasing to me. You don’t have to deserve me or any part of your heavenly inheritance in me. Father has already qualified you to share in this blessing along with all the saints.[ii] All you must do is repent by believing you already are all these things in me. You’ve been re-created in me and born of our Father’s Spirit. You have been given freedom. You just haven’t accepted it yet.”
“It’s that kind of faith that seems so impossible for me to reach. Because I feel I must somehow earn it in order to be it.”
“Do you remember when I told you on our drive to the lake that faith works by love?”
“Yes,” I answered.
“A lack of faith in Father is simply a result of lovelessness. You don’t believe how much he loves you. Neither do you fully believe my finished work in making you holy before our Father.”
“After all you’ve done, both tonight and over two thousand years ago, it’s amazing to me, in the worst possible way, that I still don’t believe the way you love me. I must need a lot more healing than I realized.”
“Yes, you do. But that’s why I came to you tonight. It’s also why I came for you over two thousand years ago. Your need does not intimidate me like it does you. It excites me because my supply is far greater than any need you have, and I look forward to fulfilling it. I’m looking forward to your future with much anticipation.”
“That makes one of us,” I said heavily before explaining myself. “I haven’t looked forward to the future much this year.”
“I know,” Jesus said compassionately. “I am excited for the continual healing that is coming your way.” He smiled with a look of great hope in his eyes.
“I thought I needed faith first in order for you to heal me?” I voiced, feeling like I kept ping-ponging the same question using different verbiage.
“You’ve been given a measure of faith according to my word.”
“Wait, I don’t have enough faith to be your bride and fully surrender to the Truth, yet I have enough faith for you to heal my heart?”
“If your heart is healed you will accept my proposal and surrender. Faith for healing is the starting place for you. A whole heart is capable of living fearlessly. Let me heal you by your continually feeding on my truth and abiding in my presence. My love will go into every cracked place and bind together the broken places. Think of my love as curative sap entering into the aching and burned places to restore and piece together. This ministry of healing is just as important as physical healing. As Isaiah wrote, the Spirit of the Lord God is upon me because the Lord has anointed me to bind up the broken hearted.[iii] So, let me love you for as long as it takes. I plan on loving you for eternity. Why should you lack patience with yourself about your faith when I don’t?”
My lips slowly smeared into a smile like butter on hot bread.
“I shouldn’t,” I said, feeling a small bit of relief.
Jesus smiled as well and lifted his hand to caress my cheek, “That’s right, beloved. Besides, I am the author and completer of your faith.[iv] You need only to spend time with me and continually receive my word for your faith to be energized. Guilt and condemnation diminish faith, whereas love quickens it.”[v]
Discussion Questions for Chapter 7:
What moved you most in this chapter? Why? Have you ever felt the need to compare yourself with others—what they are able to offer Jesus (the analogy of crowns in this chapter) only to discover that all Jesus really wants is more of you? True treasures are only offered through his grace.
Who or what are you trusting in the most right now? (“The only perfection required is trust and willingness. Who and what you trust will always be who you follow. In essence, your god…and you will always find your safety in it.”)
In what ways has your faith been quickened and energized by the love of God? In what ways has your faith been diminished through condemnation? Ask God to show you more of his love in a way that quickens your faith.
If Jesus personally proposed to you, would you say yes? Would you be willing to throw off your old identity and truly live from his perspective of you?
Scripture Meditation: “For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace.” (Romans 8:6 NASB)
Scripture Endnotes:
[i] Isaiah 42:3
[ii] Colossians 1:12
[iii] Isaiah 61:1
[iv] Hebrews 12:2
[v] Galatians 5:6
This snippet was adapted from the unrevised version of my book, Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul. To dive deeper into its intimate pages, click here.
“This book is simply wonderful. Deliciously descriptive, it nourishes the soul with fresh revelation of God’s love for humanity. This collection of short stories may challenge your thinking about what true intimacy looks like, while making your heart yearn to daily experience the Perfect Love described within its pages. It invites you into a world created by Love Himself, where there’s no mistaking that His love is not only unconditional and never-failing, but also deeply personal and precious to Him. Get ready to experience the purpose, pleasure, and power of real love!” -Amazon Reviewer