How can you love God until you know how much He’s saved you from? How can you truly become an intimate receiver of the healing love of God?
I exhaled and my chest relaxed. Warm soothing water lapped at my waist and steam lifted creating an aromatic bath of citrus and Himalayan salt incense. I didn’t realize until then, that I had been holding in my breath. It had been a long 13 hour day.
My mind drifted and I began to play quietly in the water. I waved my hands around under the comforting waters in lackadaisical motions. I wondered why Father asked me to take a bath instead of a shower? I almost refused to obey Him after surviving a long day.
Have you ever been so tired and weary that you didn’t even want to do the necessary and most menial things in life? Things like, brush your teeth or put on your pajamas? Well, my friend, you are not alone.
“Why should I take a bath Father when I can just take a quick shower?” I whined like the toddlers I worked with, “all I want to do is shower and sleep.”
I was at my wits end. I didn’t want to be up anymore. I just wanted sleep.
But God knew I needed peace instead.
As the stress of the day began to lift off of my body as lightly as the mineral salt steam from the water, my thoughts cleared.
My to do list began to evaporate, my breaths deepened. I drank in the air around me in large refreshing gulps. Sweet air filled my lungs.
I became aware of my body, particularly my legs which stretched out before me. I swirled my hands around and enjoyed staring at them through the clear water. Becoming a little girl, I cupped my hands together between my legs. I enjoyed the smooth way the water made my hands look.
I began to lift my cupped hands until they were out of the water. I studied the terrain of my hands and inhaled the fragrance of mineral scents.
My eyes slightly flickered as the water began to drip through the cracks of my fingers. For some reason this both surprised me and displeased me. An unconscious mindset of control slowly began to surface. I dipped my hands back into the water.
After cupping another handful, I pressed my hands together more tightly and squeezed my fingers. My effort was strenuous and borderline painful. After several seconds of trying to prevent the water from dripping down, I gave up. God spoke to me in that moment.
“No matter how hard you squeeze your hands together, you will not be able to prevent the water from slipping out.“
Has God ever spoken to you and within one sentence you received a whole message?
I knew He had come for my soul.
I knew He was petitioning me to receive saving grace.
For the true Christian faith is to remain in the grace that saved you. Everything is by grace through faith. (Colossians 2:6-10)
I knew there was a secret place within me that sought to save myself and be my own strength. The undercurrent of stress that I had been feeling throughout the day, until now, was an obvious indicator.
I felt a sore place deep inside being pricked and my heart-rate rose. A dull pain came and with it an unsuspecting panic. My breaths came sharply and quickly.
The true poverty of man is not recognizing their deep need. Until you stop trying to save yourself …how can you truly glory with joy and worship Jesus?
In that moment I was reminded of the weeping prophet Jeremiah. I felt his tears and realized they weren’t really his…but God’s. Jeremiah was smitten in his heart with the passionate, pure and fiercely devoted love of God for his bride. He had leaned into the fabric of God’s soul so entirely, that he began to feel His pain.
I remembered how God began to reminisce with as much affection as heartbreak on His bride. And He asked with tears choking his voice, “what did I do?! What fault did your fathers find in Me that they have turned from Me and followed after other gods?” (Jeremiah 2:5)
I felt a lump begin to rise to my throat in the tub. I knew I had been drinking from my own cistern and it was leaving me deprived and poisoned.
I remembered that God cried that his people refused to take from Him what He wanted to freely offer…rivers of living water. Everlasting life. Abundant life. Life that was truly rich, lush and healing. His heart tore that they were dying from trusting in the works of their own clay hands. He wept for them, because like me, their wells could never hold the water that they needed to sustain their lives. They were dying and it was of their own making. It was because of their own pride.
“for my people have committed two evils:
they have forsaken me,
the fountain of living waters,
and hewed out cisterns for themselves,
broken cisterns that can hold no water.” (Jeremiah 2:13)
Have you ever tried so hard to lay hold onto something you craved, only to have it slip through your fingers?
I realized that Israel had tried so hard to recreate something that God had already made perfect. They wanted to be strength for themselves when He was their strength. They attempted to hold water for themselves when He is the source of everlasting water. He had perfect water for them. Cool water. Refreshing water. Rejuvenating water. Eternal water. There was a never ending supply of water.
But for some reason they put more faith and more trust in the power of their own flesh— despite the fact that God provided water for them from a rock as they sojourned in the desert. He supernaturally gushed water from a rock and divinely fed them in the wilderness for forty years.
But they did not believe that they were the apple of his eyes even though He had shown it time and time again. They did not trust that He loved them with a sacrificial love. They did not believe that He did and always had their best interest at heart.
Without believing the love of God you cannot trust Him.
No matter how hard you try. No matter how strong your grip is…the water will still slip through the cracks of your fingers.
You cannot try hard enough. It will only produce striving, and with it frustration.
Stop.
Relax.
Breathe.
Be.
Dip your fingers in the bath water with me. And realize, that Jesus is the tub that you’re sitting in.
He’s the Lord of more than enough. He’s the well of Living Water.
What areas in your life are you trying to perfect when Jesus has already finished it?
If you have any stress in your life, it’s a clear indicator that you are striving somewhere within.
I invite you to join me in opening up to God so that He can fill you.
I admit, I have not completely stopped striving. But I am learning to go to Him and let Him provide for me. We don’t have to be perfect. We just have to allow ourselves to be perfectly His.
He is our perfection.
He is our strength.
He is our source.
~If you’ve enjoyed this short devotion, check out my book Visions of Celestial Love. It’s filled with mini devotions just like this one. Enjoy a cup of coffee, a pumpkin spice latte or a cup of herbal tea as you savor each moment with Father.
Top photo by bruce mars from Pexels
“Ashley presents us with a true cornucopia of modern psalms, personal testimonies, and short stories. She has set out to reveal and unravel some of the most complex heart issues mankind faces in our quest of understanding what true intimacy with God really looks like. Prepare to have your soul massaged and worked on as you read Visions of Celestial Love.” — Jeremy Minard, Founder of Servant King Apparel, Active US Navy