~”No matter how hard we try, we love conditionally, don’t we?” -Terry MacAlmon , Heart of Worship 2010
This question voiced by Terry is not meant to bring condemnation but rather room for grace and honest vulnerability.
I was sitting in a small group. The evening sun was waning and casting the last of its orangy-gold rays into the living room. Myself and a few others sat together in a very intimate setting. Cups of steaming hot coffee was enveloped in our hands. We were talking about the importance of loving people and how closely it connected with worship.
A wispy thought perfumed my mind, and my soul felt nudged to share. I felt a little bit embarrassed to admit my thoughts at first (it was almost as if I were confessing a crime), but in obedience to the inner prompting I was sensing, I raised my hand. The group leader called on me to contribute to the discussion. With her gracious invitation I began.
“You know sometimes when my love for people runs out…Jesus will enter into the situation and ask me to behave differently. And because I love him, I will love them.”
At first that sounded kind of cold, even to my own ears. I imagined the ladies and the pastor in the room was thinking: what do you mean when your love for people runs out? Have you got a shortage in your love tank or something?
I received blank stares. Seeking to explain myself, I gave an example of one of the godliest women recognized in history. Jesus had recently given me her testimony as a refreshing encouragement regarding my daycare work.
“I’m sure all of you have heard of Mother Teresa?” It was a question that didn’t need answering. Everyone gave a positive nonverbal response. After all, who could forget Mother Teresa? The teenager who gave up her life for love of Christ? I remember reading a biography of how she hopped on a train as a young single woman knowing that she would never see her family again. She willfully chose to give her life to the poor, suffering and dying in India after seeing their despair. I didn’t understand how she could ever give up matrimony…only that the depth of her sacrifice must have been divinely inspired.
“One thing that Mother Teresa used to say when she picked up a sick child, or a dying starving man before handing them to a fellow nun was, ‘just imagine that this is Christ. And you’re the one tending his wounds. You’re the one giving him milk. You’re the one washing his chafed skin.'” (Example: Matthew 25: 35-40)
“I realize that she was able to love faithfully her whole life because it was unto Jesus. It was worship.” I paused momentarily and saw that I was now starting to make sense to those around me. I continued, “As I reflected on that, I realized that when my natural love for others runs out, then the love that Jesus has poured into me throughout my years makes me unable to resist him if he steps into a situation and prompts me to be good to others. Because it’s him asking me and not necessarily the person that I’m grieved with, then I will be good to them. Not because I want to for their sake, but because I want to for his sake. My love for him compels me to obey in loving others.”
~“If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” (John 14:15).
“This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.” (John 15:12)
I then shared with them about how God had prompted me to pray for the salvation of the man who sexually molested me as a girl (years later that man came to Christ). I gave them another example of when I prayed for the thieves who had broken into my older cousins apartment to steal some of his valuables. They murdered him outright in the process. There have been many examples of when God’s love has prompted me to respond differently to people who have offended me (thankfully, most of them are not as extreme as the two examples I have given). Because I responded with Christ’s love regarding the two situations above, my heart escaped the trap of bitterness and I was enabled to live in true forgiveness and freedom.
More recently I can think of the many instances that I’ve had with my husband Stephen. Through the course of our marriage we have both offended one another. Mostly not on purpose but sometimes we have both done it on purpose. There’s been times where I’ve been cruel to him and he will respond kindly to me. He has confessed to me many times that his response was because Jesus spoke to him in that heated moment. I know my husband will do things like that for love of Jesus more than for love of me. Because his love for Jesus is greater than his love for me. This quality in Stephen is something I prayed that my future husband would have when I was single.
As his wife, this actually gives my heart rest and a place security because I know the love of God that was shed abroad through Christ Jesus can never fail. -1 Corinthians 13: 8
So I know that my husband’s love for me can never fail.
There have also been times where i’ve been upset at him and I’ve been willing to hold a grudge despite what scripture says. And then Jesus will come into that dark space with me and want to talk to me. Sometimes in my stubbornness I’ve wanted to tune him out and literally plug my fingers in my ears and go, “la, la, la, la.”(immature, I know…especially for a licensed minister). I know I cannot resist Jesus, deny his wisdom or denounce the Truth, so I prefer not to hear him when I’m boiling mad (can anyone relate or is it just me?). Once or twice I have even told my Lord, “no, no! Please do not interfere right now or step into this. Can I not have one hour of sulking before you come?”
One of the most heartfelt things Jesus has ever said to me was, “Ashley, if you can’t do it because you love your husband…then do it because you love me.” My heart was immediately kindled with warm love for him. Deep compassion rose from within and in knowing “defeat” I let out a long exhale and said, “okay.”
We are able to love as believers because of our love for him.
Dear one, no matter what has happened to you, no matter who has offended you…you are able to love like Jesus. He lives in you and you’ve been recreated in him.
When the world sees that we love him more than them, then we will have faithfully loved the world the way that Christ has shown us love (After all even when his love for us wasn’t motivation enough, the love that Jesus had for God compelled him to willingly submit to the cross: “yet not my will but yours be done.” Luke 22:42).
This is the type of love that washes feet, prays for its enemies, binds up the brokenhearted, casts out devils, heals the sick, forgives repeatedly and continuously provides for the needs of men who can’t pay you back.
Every act of power that Jesus did on earth reflected the nature and motive of the One who sent him. (See John 3:16 for an example). His power acts because his love feels.
This may seem demeaning to the self righteous and even sacrilegious to others. It’s a somewhat scandalous thing to admit that you’ve run dry in your love for others (at least in the religious and traditional circles I grew up in). But I have learned that my natural love has its limits. My ability to be constantly good to others can only stretch so far (especially if they are behaving in an unpleasant way or if misunderstandings leave room for the enemy to point accusatory thoughts or if I’m facing difficulties myself). Throughout my years of walking closely with Jesus I have come to be quite comfortable with my own weaknesses and inability. I know I can only love so much but I know he can love forever. And so whenever my flesh fails I can call upon him and say, “love through me.”
He is always faithful to do so.
It’s kind of funny but throughout my years with different friends, I have often heard, “you’re such a loving person,” or, “you’re so sweet.”
I’m actually not a “great lover.” I don’t consider myself to be. I have simply received the love of Jesus very well (by God’s grace). It’s really him loving through me. A lot of my loving springs from his thoughts permeating my mind. My motivation for true, selfless love is simply him.
There has been so many times where I’ve wanted to walk away from people, give up on them or just not take so much of my energy and time to encourage others. But because he lives in me, I have yielded to the ways in which he has wanted to express himself to others.
~We love because he first loved us. – 1 John 4:19.
Your heart has the capacity to receive and give amazing grace. You are more like Jesus than you realize. You are capable of self-sacrificing love. You are capable of even dying for your enemies. Once you receive grace and his love for you….you can live just like him. This kind of extravagant love is a part of the fruit of the Spirit. (Galatians 5:22-23)
You don’t have to go through life trying to work works for God from your flesh. No healing miracle has ever come from somebodies flesh. No one has ever earned their salvation. No one will be able to boast on the day of judgement that they did anything for God apart from his ability working in them. No matter how much we think we’ve accomplished, on the day we see Jesus, we will cast our crowns at his feet. We will discover that all the eternal work that we’ve achieved that gets rewarded for in heaven has come from his life in us. Like Paul, we will say, “I am what I am by the grace of God,” and “I labored more than you all yet it was not I but the grace of God working in me.” (1 Corinthians 15:10).
We are meant to live by grace through faith….even when it comes to loving faithfully. We live through him (not “necessarily” for him…after all he is the vine and we are the branches). Loving faithfully is easy when it comes from his seed within us.
