“The joy and beauty of marriage are divinely designed. Nothing in human imagination could have created such an intimate, wonderful relational unmasking of self. There is a sweet security and a vulnerable nakedness that is wholesome and liberating.”
Stephen,
You are one of the biggest blessings God has ever given me. Thank you for loving me past the fear. Thank you for loving me first. I can truly say I am in covenant with you because you loved me first… I can only say that with one other Person…Jesus Christ. He loved me past my greatest fears and did everything to mend the breach between myself and Father’s love.
Every now and again I get asked this question (from mostly younger women), “when did you know you were in love with Stephen?” The truth is I don’t know…I can’t name a day or time. It was truly as if my heart for him was like a large thanksgiving cooking pot of cold water… and someone put my heart on the stove on low heat. Funny thing about cooking that way is the part of the pot closets to the fire is the deepest water. It’s not heat from the top down but the down up. It was a deeply spiritual and soulful heating/stirring of love…one that has enriched my life in every way.
I’ve learned something about cooking and that’s if you patiently blend totally different spices together on low for a long time, they merge into something savory. This is like God’s command for two to become one. Two souls in the furnace of God’s heart blending together. I often wondered what scripture meant when it said Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed. In my youthful (unmarried) thinking I supposed it was only physical. It wasn’t until Sunday night when I looked into your eyes that I truly experienced the blessedness of that verse. Your eyes weren’t shuttered in any way. They were open pools of blue that I had dived in many times. They were open flames of a heart that was swung wide for me (as if your soul was a living room with a rocking chair built for me). They were unconditional love that I had now received as a resting place…that I now considered home. And I was unashamed to look back and to take in your affections. Not in kisses and passion…but in soul connection.
There once would have been a day where I would have glanced away in fear. Fear and love are two powerful forces that cannot coexist, but perfect love always casts out fear. I once heard the word intimacy described as, “into me, you see.” I’ve looked into many eyes…parents, siblings…other brothers and sisters in Christ…but no set of eyes ever felt so transparent and so one with my own soul like yours did a few nights ago. I’ve never been one with anyone except Jesus (and I’ve seen His eyes before in visions. And in those pictures, I’ve found myself looking away for how consuming, captivating, intense and fiery His heart showed through His eyes…like a light I couldn’t behold for fear of going blind).
Our marriage is a growing picture of Christ & the Church…something I prayed for many years ago. A sonnet written in a lush garden and golden palace like Songs of Solomon. A spiritual connection like Jesus and the Holy Spirit (who is the Helper like a wife is to be a helpmeet to her husband. God is still teaching me about that one). I’ll never forget the morning God showed me that scripture in a new light. The one in psalms 133:2 where it says, “how wonderful it is for brethren to dwell together in unity. It is like oil dripping down the beard of Aaron the high priest.” It describes this oil running down his garments. The one thing about oil is that once it’s on your skin or clothes it absorbs into you and the fabric…scenting everything with itself. He revealed to me that Christ is our High Priest now/forever and that oil always represented the Holy Spirit/anointing/strength. Jesus was anointed with the Holy Spirit… and every believer who has the Holy Spirit (which is everyone who accepts Jesus) is marked/sealed according to Ephesians 1:13 as belonging to God/Christ. And we are to be one with Him like a husband and wife are to be one. The Holy Spirit has probably been my #1 advocate in training me how to be one with you.
I’ll never forget the 1st year of our marriage whenever the enemy would tempt me to even think the slightest negative thought about you The Holy Spirit would ask me, “why are you thinking this against yourself?” I would reply, “I’m not being tempted to think this about myself but about my husband.” And He would always remind me, “but you and him are one.” This happened several times until I realized in God’s eyes, we really are united as one. Our unity has become a foundational stone in the building of all that I am… and all I will be. My connection with you is second only to Christ and I know this blessing of marriage as God designed it to be as the greatest experience of heaven on earth, I’ve had…except in my own quarters when I’m alone with Christ…my heavenly Bridegroom.
There are no words that I can pen that could describe our unity by God. No signature could define this elation, bliss, and merriment of being naked and unashamed. It’s as if we are taken back to the garden of Eden (our daughter’s name now) to experience what Adam and Eve had before the fall. Life as God meant it… unified to Him and each other.
