~This preview is taken from my upcoming Christian fiction book, At the Time for Love, a book based off Ezekiel 16:6-14. This novella is meant to introduce young women to the intimate love of Jesus while transparently discussing the topic of: romantic relationships, the often tumultuous and confusing emotions of teenage girls (as well as their blossoming longing for mature love), sex, and above all, the tender Bridegroom love of Jesus. When I was 16 years old, Jesus came after my heart and I wrote my first romantic story, I Do, about being his bride while listening to the song Hero by Enrique Iglesias. Because of his pure love, I walked through my young adult life whole and avoided much heartbreak and compromise. Later, I married the man of my dreams (my 1st boyfriend). My passion is to bring purity and sexual healing back to this generation. I pray Jesus uses this book to save young women in the same way He saved me. This book is meant for girls ages 17+.
Rippling, warm sensations traveled through my body before giving way to placid serenity, as he looked at me with sonographic accuracy. It was like he could see through me. Even though I was bundled in clothing, I felt naked before him. His eyes pleasantly burned through all my layers. Only, it wasn’t a sexual stripping, it was deeper, more personal, more exposing, more vulnerable. He dove into my heart and my pulse quickened and then slowed when all I saw was admiration and pure joy shining through his eyes and spreading across his entire visage.
He loved me.
Adjusting himself, he unlopped his arm from across my shoulders and pulled out a small velvety black box from his right pocket. My breath caught and he slowly took my right hand in his, lifting it up. I held my breath and watched as he carefully set the box down in his lap before tenderly taking off my glove. Time seemed frozen as he briefly but gently stroked the back of my fingers with his thumb. Our skin on skin contact caused tingling flashes of pleasure to shoot up my arm.
The frozen winter wonderland around us became void in the light of his face and shinning ocher eyes. His butterscotch skin was warmer than the sweet cup of hot chocolate I had drank. My heart was heard in my ears and all else was silent.
Is he proposing? I thought, feeling like I would simultaneously faint to the floor and fly to the moon.
I saw a muscle work in James’s jaw and his mouth moved slightly as if he wanted to say something. He slowly let go of my hand and opened the box. A brilliant ruby, chiseled in the shape of a blooming rose with gold wire around the delicate petals was seen. It was engrafted on a rose gold band and the pointed leaves on each end were silver. The veins on the leaflets were rose gold as well.
I gasped in awe!
“Merry Christmas. If you’ll have me, this will be my engagement ring to you, Rose,” he said slipping the ring on my ring finger, “I vow that I’ll love you forever with all my heart and seek to love you as Christ loves his church. I promise to be faithful to you, to pray for you, to cherish you, to be a channel of God’s goodness, truth, and grace in your life.”
My hand and body trembled as he slipped the ring on my right ring finger. A scene from our first, private ride together in his truck came back. I remembered the vow he told me he had made with God concerning his future wife; “I plan to stay single until God shows me the right one. I pray for her almost every night… whoever she is. I’ve promised to never tell another woman that I love her, or kiss, until I know it’s her.”
All fear of losing him evaporated. I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t abandoned. I was loved and always would be. A deep sense of security washed over me like a tide of warm water from the Atlantic sea. It soothed my soul, like sacred oil coating my skin.
“It’s beautiful,” I said choking on tears. I studied the expensive jewelry as I lifted my hand closer to my face. I put my hand back down and saw James’s staring at me with unflinching eyes.
Tossing aside restraint, I leaped beside him with one quick swing. I caught the sides of his face with my hands and rubbed my fingers across his smooth skin, savoring the feel of his flesh. I saw him with my hands and felt the strong muscles in his jaw and cheeks. I allowed myself the pleasure of running my hands through his coarse hair for the first time and giggled even as tears blinded my vision.
“So tightly curly,” I commented. closed my eyes as tears slipped down them and dripped on his arm and mine, “just like I imagined in my dreams.”
I opened my eyes again when I felt James play with my hair.
“Silk, just like I imagined.”
My body trembled more and my lips quivered.
“James,” I breathed thickly and slid my hands to the back of his neck, intertwining my fingers, I gently pulled him closer.
His hands dropped and he flinched his face away. When he moved to unlace my fingers, I turned his face back toward mine.
“James,” I said again, staring at him with bullseye vision. My sea blue eyes misted over, and my voice sounded like a soft cry, “oh, James.”
I tipped my chin up even as I firmly pulled his down.
Our lips touched, lightly at first and then I smooshed them together, closing my eyes to savor the feeling.
I kissed him, feeling the softness of his lips and the hardness of his teeth. I kissed him again, unbothered by his conservative, unresponsive lips. I felt his warm exhales waft against the groove of my philtrum before falling down my lower face to lightly caress the tower of my neck.
When he started kissing me back, I melted against him and felt lost in a euphoric dream. He surrounded my body in his arms and snuggled me tightly. His arms slowly moved behind me until finding their place. With one hand, he cupped my head and with the other he steadied my mid-back.
Electrical sensations exploded in my heart like lightning escaping the veil of heavy, moist rain clouds. The seconds I sat wrapped up in him felt lost in eternity.
He brusquely pulled away and I opened my eyes.
I took my hands from around him and wiped the trails of tears from my cheeks and chin. I could see remnants of my tears lining his cheeks like glassy water in irregular patterns. .
He shook his head softly, “Autumn…” he gasped, his eyes aglow like I had never seen them.
“I thought it was Rose, or darling?” I gave a brisk chuckle.
“It’s all three.”
“And Sweet One,” I said with a crumpled smile, still tasting him on my tongue.
“Four then,” he said seriously before softening, “and much more to come.”
“Now you can talk to me. Yes?” I said batting my eyes whimsically.
I could tell he was surprised by my audaciousness. “I love you, but I’m not comfortable with this.”
“Why not?” I questioned, sure that our kiss was innocuous.
My eyes searched his like a thirsty +woman leaning over a well. Curious about love, I wanted to drink from him.
I was sure I captivated him as much as he captivated me. His eyes swam across my visage, studying my features. Being under his loving gaze was almost hallucinogenic to my heart. Under his perusal, I felt the fogging warmth inside my cheeks flush across my face and even meet the bridge of my nose. I knew I was smeared across with the blushing evidence of virginity. When his vision settled on my eyes, he exhaled audibly as love poured from him. I guessed our kiss had aroused a flame in him that could spread like wildfire if not tamed.
With humble poise, James tentatively placed his index finger on my neck, “I can feel your pulse.”
“You can always feel a person’s pulse on their neck…”
“Your heart is racing.” He stressed.
“As it should be. This was my first kiss,” I spoke in a sweet, hushed voice, “how blessed am I to have only kissed the man I truly love.”
I felt the tremor in his finger before he withdrew it. It was the first time I had ever seen him tremble. I didn’t know my touch could do that to him. I didn’t know anything could do that to him. He was smitten at the core with love for me.
I bravely reached my hand out and felt his neck. I let my fingers flutter against his skin.
“I can feel yours too,” I said softly and then licked my lips.
He firmly took hold of my wrist and gently pulled my hand down, silently requesting I keep our unspoken courtship protocol.
“This was my first kiss as a saved man.”
“So, we are both sort of in the same boat?”
“Sort of…”
We both fell silent and after a few seconds I shrugged my shoulders, “I suppose, regardless it will be our last kiss for a while. After all, you are going away.”
James slightly nodded his head.
I gave a puckish grin, “I’m glad I stole one before you did.”
We both laughed and in our jest, I marveled at this newfound boldness breaking free inside of me.
We sat and talked for another hour before I began shivering uncontrollably. With no more hot chocolate to take the cold edge off, James insisted he drive me back home. Even though I knew I would be warmer in his truck, I didn’t want my time with him to be shortened. Eventually, I relented and as he drove down the country road leading to my parent’s house, I prayed we would be together sooner than Spring…
“But I came by and saw you there, helplessly kicking about in your own blood. As you lay there, I said, ‘Live!’ And I helped you to thrive like a plant in the field. You grew up and became a beautiful jewel. Your breasts became full, and your body hair grew, but you were still naked. And when I passed by again, I saw that you were old enough for love. So I wrapped my cloak around you to cover your nakedness and declared my marriage vows. I made a covenant with you, says the Sovereign Lord, and you became mine. “Then I bathed you and washed off your blood, and I rubbed fragrant oils into your skin. I gave you expensive clothing of fine linen and silk, beautifully embroidered, and sandals made of fine goatskin leather. I gave you lovely jewelry, bracelets, beautiful necklaces, a ring for your nose, earrings for your ears, and a lovely crown for your head. And so you were adorned with gold and silver. Your clothes were made of fine linen and costly fabric and were beautifully embroidered. You ate the finest foods—choice flour, honey, and olive oil—and became more beautiful than ever. You looked like a queen, and so you were!”
-God in Ezekiel 16:6-13 NLT.
~For a fiction novella on godly love, check out my book, Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul (Pleasure That Makes You Whole). It explores the holy Bridegroom love of Jesus for the church on amazon! To purchase a copy or read reviews on it, click here. You can also read the first chapter free on my Free Inspiration page!
“This book is simply wonderful. Deliciously descriptive, it nourishes the soul with fresh revelation of God’s love for humanity. This collection of short stories may challenge your thinking about what true intimacy looks like, while making your heart yearn to daily experience the Perfect Love described within its pages. It invites you into a world created by Love Himself, where there’s no mistaking that His love is not only unconditional and never-failing, but also deeply personal and precious to Him. Get ready to experience the purpose, pleasure, and power of real love!” -Amazon Reviewer