"You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.” - St. Augustine
When I was fifteen years old, I found myself in a place where I had no real sustaining joy in my life. Sure, I had fun and laughed here and there but I knew there was something missing in my life. Even though my outside circumstances weren’t bad and I seemed to be carrying on as a regular teenager, I was crying out for reality. I was seeking an unshakable place of solace to rest in. I knew everything in the world was changeable and thus unreliable and so I felt unable to ever truly relax on the inside.
I wanted a permanent resting place of peace. I wanted something to believe in that was bigger than any government. I wanted something that was truly good, faultless and pure. I didn’t know it at the time…but I was looking for someone holy.
I had grown up in church and I knew about God…but I didn’t turn to him to transform me into a new person (2 Corinthians 5:17). I didn’t realize it until later, but the reason I didn’t seriously consider turning to God was because I felt too sinful to approach him. I allowed shame to keep me away.
I continued to search for a place of refuge in the world. Inevitably, I discovered the world couldn’t offer me what I really needed. Because I couldn’t find this place of surety, I began to comfort myself with food addiction. As a result, I pushed the scale past 200 pounds before I turned sixteen. I began to experience minor depression. I felt ugly and as a result I wore dark colored clothes from the men’s department. I masked my insecurity behind anger and hiddenness.
Then one faithful morning, after years of ignoring God’s obvious pursuit, I moseyed on youtube to watch videos. In the side panel, was a video by a woman I had never seen before. Her name was Joyce Meyer and the title of the video was, Your Self Image and Your Future. Something about the video sparked my interest and I clicked on it. As Joyce began to talk, the power of the Holy Spirit became tangible in the room. Joyce quoted many scriptures about the love of God and how He created everyone special and beautiful on purpose.
What baffled me and brought me to my knees in His presence in true repentance for the first time, was when she said that He thought better of me than I did myself. The thought of God placing that much value on my life astounded me. Tears welled my eyes and I threw my hands up in true surrender. “God, I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you for all these years,” I sobbed, “please forgive me! Jesus, please come into my heart and be my Lord and Savior.” I finally threw my life on His shoulders that morning. Abandoning myself completely to Him.
What happened next is a little bit unbelievable to some. I saw what looked like white translucent rain falling through the ceiling into the room. It was as if I wasn’t alone. Then I felt a cloud expanding in my chest. As it expanded I felt peace. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was filled with the Holy Spirit that very second. From that day on, a voice, in the form of inner promptings, started speaking from within me and leading me into an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.
I discovered that Jesus wasn’t man made philosophy, He wasn’t prideful intellectual reasonings, He wasn’t trapped in a book or a church building He wasn’t reserved for only the “elect.” He wasn’t locked in the grave (thus being unreachable and untouchable by those who called for Him in the present) like every other deceased man or renown.
No, He is living. He is alive. He is personal. He is real life. He is reality. He is the greatest display of the love of God that ever existed and will ever exist. He is the benevolence of grace, the light by which we can see the heavens more clearly than the sun’s rising against a blackened earth after nightfall.
I soon discovered after that fateful encounter, I had new desires (proof that I was born again and had received the new nature) and unspeakable joy. After that, I read through the entire Bible, I had several angelic encounters, visions, I experienced inner healing and was even delivered from an unclean spirit of anger without any deliberate effort on my part. The Lord began to encourage me to buy bright colored skirts (purple was by far my new favorite color). Before, I had hated the idea of wearing skirts because somewhere deep inside I hated myself and didn’t think I deserved to be donned in anything lovely.
I listened to Jesus and soon my entire wardrobe changed. My mannerisms were transformed and eventually my brother started calling me a, “girly girl.” God filled with me such self-love that I began to exercise and eat healthy without anyone coaxing me to. My grades in school went up and for the first time, I was on the honor roll. Within a year I was at a balanced weight. I then became less self-centered and started helping others on purpose. I dove into ministries of all kinds and began a homeless ministry of my own. I began to live at church and soon my entire family was going with me…
~To read my full testimony visit: https://nourishmentthroughwords.com/2020/05/04/created-in-heaven-born-on-earth/
~To read my devotional book full of testimonies, poems and inspirational teachings, click here
“Come, all you are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me and eat wha tis good, and you will delight in the richest of fare.” – Isaiah 55:1-2 NIV
Are you ready to taste of the sweet delicacies of God in a deeply reviving and personal way? For those who want to drink, for those who want to eat and be refreshed and renewed, Visions of Celestial Love is a feast between you and the King of Heaven, who loves you more than anyone else. He invites you to dine on wholesome, good, savory food and delicious, zesty, fruitful drink. He awaits you with a sparkle in His eye. He is ready for your company. He delights to have you as a guest.
“Eat, friends, and drink; drink your fill of love.” – Song of Songs 5:1 NIV
“Ashley presents us with a true cornucopia of modern psalms, personal testimonies, and short stories. She has set out to reveal and unravel some of the most complex heart issues mankind faces in our quest of understanding what true intimacy with God really looks like. Prepare to have your soul massaged and worked on as you read Visions of Celestial Love.” — Jeremy Minard, Servant King Apparel
. For many years I didn’t know He was like this.
)!” Just as I was becoming in awe that He was mine, I felt a holy pause in my soul and it was like He sang these same lyrics to me, “You (Ashley) are mine… hallelujah!” It was like He was rejoicing over the fact that I am his. As if He were giving himself kudos and congratulations for winning me. It reminded me of the Bible verses in Zephaniah that talks about God rejoicing over us in his love!!!
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