Category: Romance

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Your Heart: The Anointed and Flourishing Resting Place

~A vivid snippet from the revised version of my book, Romantic Rendezvous for The Soul. May you come to understand and experience the rich and faithful love of Jesus as He dwells in His new glorious temple…your recreated heart. He will never leave you, He will never forsake you. He lives in you. (Colossians 1:27)

Enjoy this worship song as you read: Chambers by Catherine Mullins (I don’t own any rights to the music)

My beloved one, both handsome and winsome, you are pleasing beyond words. Our resting place is anointed and flourishing, like a green forest meadow bathed in light. Rafters of cedar branches are over our heads and balconies of pleasant-smelling pines. —Song of Solomon 1:16–17 TPT

He stood and extended his hand for me to take.

I felt like the woman caught in the act of adultery. Mercy washed over me in silky light, like the waves from his robe. He didn’t condemn me. There were no accusations. There was no stone in his hand. (John 8:11)

In fact, his hand seemed like an extension of his heart—promising to heal me even before I vowed to commit myself to him in the way he desired.

There was no cost for his healing. He freely offered to make me whole, with no hidden stipulations. Such grace empowered me and I felt my bones were stronger somehow. I felt like spring grass soaking in solar light from the sunshine of his presence within me. (Hebrews 13:9, 2 Corinthians 5:19)

The seeds within me pulsated with life. (Galatians 3:16, Luke 8:11)

I took his hand and he pulled me up to my feet. All the other guests in the room rose as well. Their presence was tangibly felt. They carried a weighty air about them that was holy and priestly. When they saw he meant to escort me away, they returned to their dancing.

Many things crossed my mind as Jesus and I crossed the dance floor into a more private corridor with a balcony view, namely I wondered why none of the saints pursued Jesus?

A banner hung from the room’s entryway. In Aramaic it read:

Strengthen me with raisin cakes, refresh me with apples, for I am weak with love. (Song of Songs 2:5)

The small elegant room featured a three-dimensional mural floor of a blooming vineyard blushing under a hazy sunset. The painting was so lifelike, even the dust kicked up in the air was illuminated like grated gold by the imaginary sunrays. The emerald leaves were silhouetted in basking glory and turned into a yellowish jade. Rows and rows of vines lacing around each other made me catch my breath.

Rosy marbled walls formed an arch in the center of the room before giving way to a chandelier that resembled a flourishing desert rose. Diamond-shaped light bulbs hung from the chandelier and sent shafts of prism light pirouetting across the walls. In the corner of the room was a large bed, hidden behind transparent curtains.

“It is lovely in here,” I breathed, admiring the splendor.

A lamp stand table made of polished gold held woven baskets with embroider cloths set beside them. Inside the baskets were marble bowls heaped with fresh fruit. The fragrance of ripe strawberries, dates, pomegranates, figs, and honey-painted cakes teased my nose. I saw blocks of cheese and nuts beside the fruit.

“Eat some,” Jesus offered, finally releasing my hand, “You haven’t eaten anything all night.”

…

I took a plump strawberry and popped it in my mouth. A refreshing, tart flavor with just the right amount of sugar burst in my mouth. I hummed in delight, imaging that only Eden carried such delectable fruits.

I took up another, and then another before trying a fig and a date. They were equally good but distinguishingly unique. I plopped several blocks of different colored cheese in my mouth until my cheeks swelled like a chipmunk’s. I had difficulty chewing but managed more easily after the first few bites. The rich flavors blended together like cream and salt. Afterward, I went for the nuts in handfuls. When I finished with those I took up a half slice of a pomegranate and plucked some seeds coated in red wine gel. I cupped my hand to my lips and let the seeds fall in before chewing. The tart taste reminded me of the best sherbet punch.

We ate for several more minutes before my appetite was satiated. Afterward, I felt the stickiness of dried fruit juices and honey on my hands. I rubbed my fingers together wondering how I would wash them.

“Is there a bathroom?” I asked.

“I have a jar of water and hyssop out here,” Jesus said, extending his hand toward the balcony.

We walked on the elevated porch, the sky canopied over us. I noticed a hard, blue clay pitcher in the corner. Beside it was a pink potted hyssop bush aflame with brilliant flowers, the color of nectarine skin.

I cupped my hands and Jesus poured some water between them before taking some flowers from the bush. He set them in my hands and I rubbed them together feverishly. He rinsed my hands again and I lightly dried my wet hands with an embroidered cloth beside the baskets. When I finished, I brought my hands to my nose and inhaled deeply the fragrant scent of hyssop plant. I took up the jar and poured water over Jesus’ hands. Afterward, I plucked up a few flowers before putting them in his hands. He repeated what I had done, and I fell silent.

I leaned my torso across the balcony and rested my head in one of my hands. Despite the snow that crested the mountains, I was warm. I looked out and admired the scenery before me. Everything seemed so expansive that I felt a little bit swallowed up in the grandeur of it all. I let my eyes linger over the glowing city, savoring the physical beauty of it like I savored the food I had eaten. Beauty fed my soul like nutritious food nourished my body. Jesus leaned his elbows on the railing of the balcony and also looked upon the terrain before us.

“How come nobody has come in here yet to seek you out?” I asked, finally voicing the question I had tucked away inside when he had whisked me away to the private room.

“What do you mean?” Jesus asked, unassuming.

I shrugged and then my eyebrows fell until they hovered over my eyes.

“Well, I’m just confused as to why we haven’t been crowded yet? I mean, didn’t you deal with that constantly after you began your ministry on earth?”

“I did.”

“So why, if these people know who you are, do they not love you?”

“They do.”

“But they aren’t trying to be near you?” I countered, slightly nonplussed.

“Because they know that I’m near them.”

“Even though you’re in here with me?”

“Yes. They understand that I live within them. That my promise is true. I will never leave them nor forsake them. They don’t need me to appear to them in this way in order for them to be content with me or with themselves. They converse with me all the time.” (ex: John 20:27)

My eyes fell to my cinnamon brown hands. An almost undetectable sense of failure came over me.

“They understand what I don’t fully comprehend,” I said lowly.

Just as quickly as the sense of failure had come, an inner quickening rose within me like a heater being turned on in the dead of winter. It came like a skilled soldier, swiftly combating the negativity that wanted to seize territory. I felt as if a seed had sprouted under the soil of my consciousness. Suddenly an assurance came up, and with it a loving caress that chased away all notions of shame.

I didn’t feel the need to compare myself to the couples on the dancefloor anymore. The precipitous change in my emotions puzzled and pleased me at the same time. I touched my stomach and easily discerned the presence of my Holy Friend (John 14:17).

I heard a soft chuckle from Jesus and refocused my attention on him.

“He’s amazing, isn’t he?” I asked, knowing the answer.

“He’s the Father’s gift to you and to all those sealed for me. You need not fear anything, beloved, not even death. Because of my Father’s Spirit, you will always be with us. He has sealed you forever and he isn’t going anywhere.” (Ephesians 1:!3)

“I think I know that now,” I said. Emotion caught in my throat. My mind traveled to precious instances in my past where the Holy Spirit had comforted and rescued me. There were many nights when I had cried myself to sleep on my bed and felt a warm arm around my heart.

“I love his faithfulness,” I whispered, and again touched my stomach, this time as if I were trying to embrace a friend.

“He will help you comprehend what the others understand. It’s his joy and delight to do so. He has much patience with you. There is peace in his mind toward you. You need never be frustrated with yourself, because it’s the opposite of how he feels about you.” (John 14:26, Hebrews 8:2)

I nodded and the breeze kicked up. The wind carried the fresh fragrance of spikenard, which diffused the air like a perfume bath. The dust of powdery snow lifted and swirled around in the breeze. A few frozen droplets touched my cheeks and I shivered. Some flakes of snow rested and then melted in my hair once the air stilled. I felt as if I had been touched by starlight.

“He would like to take you someplace as well,” Jesus said.

I reflected for a few seconds and then uttered, “Yes. I’m happy to go anywhere he wants me to.”

“Okay.”

Jesus turned toward me. I stood still as he placed his fingers on my temples. Instinctively, I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, anticipation building in me…

(To read the next snippet, click here)

~I hope you enjoyed this preview of my revised version of Romantic Rendezvous for The Soul (Tasting the Bridegroom Love of Jesus). To purchase a copy of the 1st version, click here. As an author, the sincerest way anyone can thank me is through writing a review of my book(s) on amazon. If you’ve been blessed by my work, I would love to hear from you! Your review reaches out to other women and invites them into this ministry of words…and more importantly, into the tender love of Jesus inside the pages.

“Ashley Thompson’s Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul is simply wonderful. Deliciously descriptive, it nourishes the soul with fresh revelation of God’s love for humanity. This collection of short stories may challenge your thinking about what true intimacy looks like, while making your heart yearn to daily experience the Perfect Love described within its pages. Romantic Rendezvous invites you into a world created by Love Himself, where there’s no mistaking that His love for every individual is not only unconditional and never-failing, but also deeply personal and precious to Him. Get ready to experience the purpose, pleasure, and power of real love!” -Danielle Sanders, Worshiper, Songwriter, Licensed Minister, Former Highschool teacher

~For my book on returning to the liberating and strengthening grace of our heavenly Father, Visions of Celestial Love, click here.

“Ashley McClelland presents us with a true cornucopia of modern psalms, personal testimonies, and short stories. She has set out to reveal and unravel some of the most complex heart issues mankind faces in our quest of understanding what true intimacy with God really looks like. Prepare to have your soul massaged and worked on as you read Visions of Celestial Love.” — Jeremy Minard, Servant King Apparel

Blessings to you as you learn how to journey through this life walking closely with the truest Lover of your heart!

xoxo

Ashley

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Jesus in Disguise (Rosemary)

Right now I’ve been typing up a story called: Mr. Field’s Rosemary (one of my Jesus in disguise books). It takes place in an orchard field with a recently widowed woman on her way to Mr. Joshua Field’s cottage to cook breakfast for him and his six children. What Rosemary discovers is that Mr. Field’s is too going through pain. His beloved wife has run away from home again. This story has two big twists that leads to wholeness for Rosemary and the six adorable children she easily begins to love. I always ask the Lord to help me write and my prayer is that everything I publish leaves a deep, healing impression of Jesus’s love in the heart of every reader. I pray each reader comes to “see” the sweetly inconspicuous ways Jesus is hidden in plain sight in their lives and that they come begin to fellowship with Him daily. Enjoy:

While Joshua was gone Rosemary took some more sips of tea before admiring his kitchen again. She drank in the lovely decor and imagined his wife must have helped him furnish this room. Warmth from the pillar heat lamp rubbed her back like an expert massage therapist.

Rosemary spotted a bright gold chested hummingbird with shimmering emerald wings. It sucked sugared water from a feeder dangling from the paneled patio. The gold-flamed honeysuckle flowers glowed from the peeking rays of the sun. Their vines hung like a soft caress on the patio’s design. The edge of winter was waning and the waking yawns of spring echoed in the scenery.

Joshua announced his presence by softly clearing his throat. He headed for the cabinets, “coffee too?”

“No thank you Mr. Fields. Your tea is quite…perfect.”

Joshua grinned in delight, “I think you’ll enjoy the coffee more.”

Rosemary only stared…missing the taste of freshly brewed coffee on her palate.

“I feel like you’re a coffee drinker.” Mr. Fields stated before turning on the grinder. The inviting scents of the beans wafted underneath Rosemary’s nose.

“I do love coffee,” Rosemary confessed and then shrugged one shoulder, “but usually with a ton of whipped milk and sugar…among other things.” She blushed as she looked down at her belly and slightly patted it, “but I’m trying to lay low on some things right now.”

Mr. Fields gave a sympathetic look.

Tears threatened and Rosemary let out a cough to clear her throat, “I…I overate quite a bit after…” her voice broke. After my husband died, she thought. She shook her head before glancing up at him. His gaze was attentive but not forceful.

A long moment of silence filtered between them, with it, an awkward pressure to break it. Mr. Fields turned off the grinder and carefully made his way toward her.

All of the pain she was feeling was like an angry volcano in her chest. It threatened to squeeze through her throat. Rosemary gulped loudly and her bottom lip twitched. Mr. Fields stopped an arm length away.

She feared he would touch her…but more than that she feared the wrath inside of herself. She had never experienced anger when Richard died…only overwhelming sadness. The worst part was…she felt her anger was directed toward God.

What kind of Christian am I?

Shame flamed Rosemary’s already reddened face. Her jade eyes widened and she took a step back.

“Do you need to talk about it?” Mr. Fields asked gently.

Rosemary shook her head more violently than she intended, “it’s nothing I think would be beneficial to our working relationship.”

“But, would it be beneficial to you? That’s important too.” His voice was so soft it came out like a whisper.

She looked up and saw his beautifully warm eyes. There was genuine care sketched across his bronzy visage.

A thousand thoughts battled in her mind. But the longer she looked at him, the more her mind cleared. It was as if the soft peace she felt around him was being offered to her.
“After…my husband died,” the words came out like the bite of an undying winter. Her shoulders shook and her trembling lips parted before a flood of audible cries came out. Joshua closed the remaining gap between them and wrapped her in his arms. She forgot herself and buried her face against his chest. He rested his chin on her head and embraced her firmly. She stood there in his shelter until she collected herself.

After becoming calm, Rosemary allowed herself to linger in Mr. Field’s supportive arms. She could hear his heartbeat against her ears and the faint scent of spikenard, saffron and calamus were blended like a colon bath on his clothes. Clearing her throat, she put a pushing hand against him and he released her immediately. Clear tears trailed her cheeks, dripped down her chin and splashed against her arms and shirt.

“I…”

He cut her off, “Don’t apologize. I’m glad you got that off your chest.”

She glanced away until he spoke again, “You don’t ever have to pretend you feel anyway other than what you do around me. I’m not unfamiliar with pain…or comfort.”

“Thank you, Mr. Fields.”

He held a hand up, “please call me Joshua. It’s more personable.”

She tilted her head slightly.

“It’s okay if you forget…but it’s another if you do it on purpose. I’m asking you to call me by my first name.”

Deciding not to make waves Rosemary nodded. “Okay,” she verbalized.

“Good,” He said and then only stared. The look on his face spoke volumes more. He desired to say things that she wasn’t ready to hear. Pain flickered in his eyes and then something else. A knowing she couldn’t discern yet it pulled on her soul like a magnet leading straight to his heart.

She sniffled and squinted her eyes in thought.

“I want you to feel like family with myself and the kids.” Joshua said and in her heart, she believed him.

“That is super kind of you to say that. I confess I think my time volunteering with you might unravel some of my emotions. I never meant to involve you in my grieving process, especially since your family is going through a difficult family time as well.”

“I believe this is a good thing,” he said confidently but not arrogantly. Rosemary waited for an explanation and when he offered none she shrugged, “maybe.”

Joshua turned away and went back to fixing his coffee. After pouring fresh water into a silver and black cappuccino machine he offered, “I can help you with breakfast if you like?”

There was something about him that made Rosemary suspect she would not be able to hide behind her self-imposed mask of calm. She trembled inwardly as she feared his peaceful presence would unravel the ugly things within her she had so desperately closed her conscious to. Vulnerability had never been her forte. Her history was marked with painful memories of rejection and scorn whenever she exposed the soft, throbbing, naked places of her soul. She couldn’t imagine Joshua would respond any different.

“No, thank you.” she said, wanting to put distance between herself and him.

Fear not, for you shall not be ashamed; neither be confounded and depressed, for you shall not be put to shame. For you shall forget the shame of your youth, and you shall not [seriously] remember the reproach of your widowhood any more.

For your Maker is your Husband—the Lord of hosts is His name—and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; the God of the whole earth He is called.

 For the Lord has called you like a woman forsaken, grieved in spirit, and heartsore—even a wife [wooed and won] in youth, when she is [later] refused and scorned, says your God. -Isaiah 54:4-6 AMP

As always, may you enjoy the warmth of Jesus’s love today in  familiar and unexpected places! For a romantic fictional book on the bridegroom love of Jesus, check out my book, Romantic Rendezvous for The Soul!

“As I read, I quickly became enthralled with this book, so beautifully written in the language of love. Each of these short stories so accurately reflects the romantic and wooing heart of the Bridegroom which draws you to Himself into a deeper place of love and intimacy. If you have not yet experienced romantic intimacy with God, I’m confident that this book will set you on course. It’s bound to warm your soul and whet your desire for your own heart-to-heart conversations and experiences with God. The author creatively ministers to the soul, bringing truth to light in the most tangible ways; you will feel that God is speaking directly to you, and He most certainly is!

Some stories caused me to be drawn away into remembrance of my own experiences and conversations with God that have freed my soul; others caused me to reevaluate my heart’s commitment to my first Husband and cry out for forgiveness; and yet others simply took me on a delightful and exciting adventure of what the beginning of a holy, unadulterated love looks like – so refreshing to the soul! I commend the author for using her creative gifting to share personal reflections and heart intimacies which I know could only come from the deep well of Father’s heart. I highly recommend this book as a must read!” -Marina Garcia

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The Rescue

~This snippet is taken from my upcoming book, At The Time For Love, a romance novella based off Ezekiel 16:6-14. This story is meant to introduce teenage girls to romantic purity and the Bridegroom love of Jesus.

My family’s truck, Old Faithful, weakly trodden through the thick, crunchy and pristine snow. I thought he was just having a hard time and patted the dashboard as if comforting a person, “Sorry old buddy, I know it’s hard. But you can make it.” Just then the engine coughed dryly and then Old Faithful stopped. My eyes widened in disbelief. “What?!” I turned the keys back before turning them forward again. The car tooted a few times but then it died. “No,” I said in denial and tried again. Each time I received the same result, “this can’t be happening!” I exclaimed and prayed before trying again. This time the engine didn’t even make a sound. Just then it came to me.

The gas!

Remind me to fill Old Faitfhful up when we get into town okay? David’s words came back like a flood. I hadn’t remembered, and neither had he.

Did he remember now?

The heater had only been off for a few seconds and already the inside of Old faithful was growing cold.

I was about ten miles from home and about fifteen from work. I had no cell phone and no means of communication. I was also on the long stretch of the road that was mostly abandoned. The bulk of Pomeberry was five miles or so back. The snow was heavy and falling steadily. Apart from my warm clothes I had nothing to keep me warm but a mug of hot chocolate. I pressed my back against the seat and thought about my options.

It was probably around 6:45, I needed to be at work by 7:10. If I went back to town I would have to find a payphone or ask somebody if I could use there’s and call in for Danielle or somebody to come pick me up. My family wouldn’t be able to get me because Old Faithful was the only vehicle we owned and I doubted anyone would ride our horse Embers to come get me. It would be foolish to do so. I could walk back home but then I’d be super late for work.

I exhaled slowly and said a prayer, “God…please help me. Send help somehow, someway.”

A spark of determination went off on the inside of me and I decided that I would walk to work.

I couldn’t tell if it was from God or from my own self-determination but I went for it. I knew the logical thing for me to do would be to stay in the truck and at least wait until daylight before attempting to walk but I was anxious to be on time. And for some reason I allowed my anxiety to override common sense.

“Help me get there,” I said and grabbed my keys before stuffing them in my coco colored purse. I slung my purse strap across my shoulders and opened the door. A wave of icy cold air slapped against my face and pushed my body. Shivering I closed the truck door.

It was dark and cold. Glinting stars could still be seen in the sky but I saw a royal blue line along the horizon which promised sunrise in forty minutes or so. The rest of the sky was black. After zipping up everything that could be zipped on my coat, I fastened the furry hood over my head, hugged myself and started off.

To keep from being scared from the dead silence around me, I hummed to myself.

I sang an old hymn I remember my grandmother singing on Sabbath mornings, “God is good, all the time. He put a song of praise in this heart of mine, God is good, all the time. Through the darkest night His light will shine. God is good, God is good, all the time.”

After about an hour of singing I began to realize just how foolish I had been to leave Old Faithful. My lips were parched dry and felt like they would peel at any moment. I licked them constantly to keep them warm but that only served to make the brisk hair harsher when my tongue retreated back in my mouth. My nose felt like it was freeze burnt and I was sure it shone like Rudolph’s. My legs had painful goose bumps on them that protruded so sharply that every brush of my jeans against them hurt. My muscles were achy from shivering and I was thirsty. I had finished off my hot coco after five minutes or so of walking. The sky was lighter and the horizon bled deep orange despite the puffy clouds that covered the hemisphere. Unfortunately, the wind was restless and it pressed against me as I walked.

I continued on for about ten more minutes before exhaustion took over. My face crinkled and I wanted to cry. Why did I leave Old Faithful? How far along was I to work? Should I go back? I looked up at the falling snow and my boots sunk a little into the crunchy snow.

“What am I going to do?” I cried looking up to heaven, “please help me God.”

Powdery snow rested gaily on my eyelashes blinding me temporarily.

My eyes moistened and hazed my vision. With aching muscles, I continued to walk.

 About twenty more minutes passed by and the rose red sky was streaked gold along the horizon, a pretty blue lifted above it and an orange cream rested atop.

My lips trembled uncontrollably as I walked, my arms were stiff and hugged my chest tightly. Pain enveloped me like a heavy coat and my knees felt like they were about to crack. All my muscles felt like giving in but I gritted my teeth and told myself I could either collapse and potentially go into hyperthermia or I could press on and get help.

A faint rumbling noise caught my ears like a wisp of wind.

What was that?

I looked to the left and to the right and saw nothing. My eyes brows creased, oh great, I’m hallucinating!

Somewhat saddened by the thought I continued walking.

I glanced at the trees around me. Their branches were drooping down with snow and the sight reminded me of soft pillows piled atop each other or white shirts stacked atop one another in a laundry basket.

My ears perked up and I thought I heard a rumbling noise again…only it sounded louder.

I looked around me again and saw two yellow lights in the distance.

I squinted my eyes and realized it was headlights.

My heart leaped and I weakly turned around and began walking toward the vehicle.

“Help,” I mumbled queasy to my stomach.

My legs sloshed over layers of snow and fresh tears rolled down my eyes, “h-h…help…me.”

Pain kicked up my arm as I lifted it and waved.

The vehicle…which was going at a slow pace seemed to speed up. Within about two minutes I saw a gleam of cherry red.

James! It was his truck!

My lips cracked into a smile until I realized I must have looked like a horrid mess.

I pushed aside the thought quickly and couldn’t believe that even in a dire situation like this I would be concerned with such a feminine thing.

Typical woman, I thought dryly to myself.

The truck stopped a few paces in front of me and James leapt out. His eyes wide. He was wearing a winter beanie, a jacket, jeans and thick wool boots.

“Autumn!” He cried rushing toward me. My body gave in at that moment and I collapsed to the ground. Powdery snow lifted as I crashed into it and for a moment I thought I would go unconscious. My body shivered violently.

“James,” I sighed sheepishly as he leaned over me.

“Your lips are blue!” he exclaimed.

“You’re so beautiful…” I said my voice trailing into a drool.

Did I just say that?

James bent down and secured his arms under me before picking me up igniting, everywhere he touched with pain. A sharp cry escaped my lips.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured warmly, his voice coated with tears.

“I…it’s o-okay.” I told him, “my body hurts all over.”

As gently as he could he placed me in the passenger’s seat before closing the door behind me.

When he got into the driver’s seat and closed the door I whispered weakly, “I-I can’t buckle myself in.”

“I know you can’t. I wouldn’t expect you to.”

He turned down the heater and I wondered why. “You can’t take in too much heat at once. It could put your body in shock.”

His eyebrows wrinkled and I saw he fought tears.

He turned to me and saw how I shook. He seemed so serious, and yet so concerned about something.

“I have to get you out of some of your clothes,” he said calmly…though his eyes were not equally as relaxed.

“My clothes?” my eyebrows rose.

“Yes. They are cold as brick, we need to get…s-some off. Do you understand?”

I nodded slowly.

“Okay…t-thank you.”

He moved closer to me and before long he was right beside me.

“Can you rest your arm here? …uh huh…and the other one here. I’m going to try to do this as gently as I can.”

Unzipping my outer coat, he moved slowly to free my arms from the sleeves.

I cried as he did for the pain was almost unbearable. I saw how it hurt him to do it and to see me in so much torture. “God help me,” he prayed, “help her.” My jaw trembled so much it was sore. Tears trailed down my icy pale cheeks. James moved to take my boots off my feet, then he removed my socks and massaged my stiff toes which were like ice. When I screamed as he helped the blood to start flowing again he withdrew. He looked up at me…a pained expression on his face.

“I have to. I’m so sorry Autumn.” His voice broke.

I sucked my bottom lip and closed my eyes. As he worked I bit my lip and tongue…puncturing my skin and releasing a slim stream of blood.

When James sat up again he saw it trailing down my lip and reached to grab a napkin. Voicelessly he gently patted it against my lip and wiped the trail of blood from my skin.

I inquired about my feet and he said with a sigh of relief, “your feet are going to be fine.”

“They sting like needles.”

“That’s normal. It means your tissues are warming up…and blood is flowing.”

I nodded.

When he was done patting me he took a tube of chopstick from his pocket and applied some to my lips.

He looked down briefly as if embarrassed and then back up at me again.

“Do you have on an undershirt?”

I felt a flood of heat rise to my cheeks and I slowly nodded.

“How about tights?”

“Yes,” I breathed.

“…okay. Can I?”

He didn’t have to explain…I already knew.

I nodded and slightly hesitant at first, he began to raise my sweater dress over my head. He made sure to only keep his eyes on my face the whole time.

Tossing the cold garment aside he asked me if I could unbuckle my pants.

I tried but my hands were stiff and in terrible pain.

Tears pricked my eyes as I tried to loop the button out of the hole.

He saw my pain and put a large warm hand over my pale cold one. “It’s okay. I can…” He silently prayed as he unbuttoned me and then lifted one leg at a time as he pulled the jeans down and then off. It was a slow and tear-jerking process. I was so grateful I had put on tights and an undershirt…otherwise I would have been stripped down to my bra and hole-spotted panties.

When it was done he stripped himself of his outer coat and then his sweater. He gently draped the inside part of his jacket over my legs and then he rested his sweater in front of me…using the head of the seat behind me to tie the arms to. He then carefully buckled me in and handed me a cup of room temperature water. “Drink as much as you can.” He said gently.

He buckled himself in and then promptly started off, “I’m taking you to the hospital.”

“No…work?”

“Forget about work Autumn. I will contact Carol.”

I began to drift to sleep. Pain racked my body and suddenly I felt so heavy with sleep. James pulled out his cell as he drove. I heard him talking to my mom and then David.

The road, and his dashboard blended together and I fought to stay awake.

“Yes, I have her…. she’s dehydrated…cold….in pain…. praise God He helped me find her…. we’re off to the hospital…. yes…yes…see you there.”

I felt the truck speed up. And I began to hear James pray in tongues and English.

“God, please help her. Send your warmth throughout her body…give her body the strength she needs, speak peace and comfort into her soul…”

Finally, everything went black and I drifted to sleep.

 I woke up momentarily when a shock of cold blew in the truck. My eyelids lifted and I saw we were at the hospital. James had opened up my door and was unbuckling me. The blistering wind howled outside. James took me in his arms and held me close to his chest like a baby before closing the door with his back.

I shivered and my teeth chattered.

“Hold on my sweet one,” he whispered warmly, and my heart melted at his endearing term for me.

Sweet one. It was the first time he used a pet name for me.

I nestled my head under his chin and closed my eyes.

Suddenly heat kissed my skin and bright lights beckoned me to open my eyes but I felt so weak I kept them closed. We must have entered in the hospital. My guess was soon affirmed as I heard James tell somebody, “please, my friend is suffering from hypothermia.”

“Right this way sir,” a feminine voice replied.

“Thank you,” James said and I felt his pace quicken.

I blacked out again.

Hours later I woke up feeling like I was floating on a cloud below a sunny waterfall of wind. I felt rejuvenated, replenished and peaceful.

My eyes fluttered and above me were concerned familiar faces. My entire family was in the hospital room.

“She’s awake,” Thomas said and I heard movement as everyone gathered around. Someone was holding my hand. I looked around and saw that it was Mama. David was holding my other hand.

“Thank God,” Kendell said relief flooding his voice. His dark chestnut eyes lit up and behind them I saw a gleam of glass…. had he been crying?

“Yes,” I said slowly, “I’m awake.”

“Oh Autumn,” Mama said reaching her hand to cup my cheek, “we were praying for you.”

“Worrying our heads off!” Kendell stated.

“How are you feeling?” David asked as Ginger went to sit beside me, her icy blue eyes fixed on my rosy face.

“…happy,” I said surprising them all.

I saw David’s eyebrows lift in amazement, then they relaxed and a small grin lifted his right cheek, “I’m glad to hear that.”

“What are you so happy about?” Paige asked, her silky light brown hair was tied to the side and dangled gracefully over her delicate shoulder. She was wearing her pretty pearl fur coat, and her lips were stained lavender.

“To be alive…” I said slowly, “I felt like God was talking to me while I was asleep…or rather…holding me.”

“Holding you?” Thomas inquired.

I nodded sheepishly, “uh huh…. some place…beautiful.” My body relaxed and I let out a long quiet sigh.  

Paige walked forward and kissed my forehead. I smiled sweetly as her lips met my skin and I moved my arms to hug the nape of her neck. She smelled like a fresh bed of flowers spiced with cinnamon apples. Only when I went to do so did I realize IVs were in both of my hands. I hesitated and then slowly lowered my hands.

“How much longer do I have to wear these things?” I asked a little disgusted. I never liked needles.

“Not any longer,” an unfamiliar voice said. Everyone turned.

“Doctor Flores,” mama said greeting an olive face with ebony black hair and sparkling dark brown eyes.

Doctor Flores greeted me, “good to see you awake Autumn, you gave your family here quiet the scare.”

I nodded and thanked her for helping me.

“My pleasure hun,” she said and checked my vital signs, “perfect…” She then moved to take out the IVs and I closed my eyes tight. To my surprise it didn’t hurt at all. Dr. Flores applied some alcohol to the area and then taped some gauze on.

“How soon can I leave?” I asked.

“Right now, if you’d like…but I think you should eat something right away and we’ve already got a gentleman fetching you some soup.”

“What kind of soup?”

“He said creamy tomato was one of your favorites?”

I nodded.

“Great. Well he should be here soon,” Dr. Flores said before addressing mama, “may I have a word with you ma’am?”

Mama nodded and went off with the woman.

While they were away I asked, “Who went to get me soup?”

“Who do you think?” Paige said with a grin.

“James…” I breathed.

“I’m so happy you’re okay Autumn,” Ginger said and then spread her body next to mine. I giggled and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

“I’m glad I’m okay too.”  

Ginger kissed my neck multiple times and before long everyone dispersed in the room and began to relax.

 Paige picked up a book and began to read it out loud to me. David, Kendell and Thomas engaged in hushed conversation, and Ginger lay peacefully by my side fiddling with my hair between her fingers.

Eventually James walked in carrying a bowl of soup in one hand and a beautiful bouquet of wine red roses and a stuffed teddy bear in the other.

My heart leaped at the sight of him and I sat up without knowing.

“James,” I breathed as he neared me. He walked past everyone and leaned over me pressing a kiss on my head. I titled my head up and went to kiss him before stopping myself. My eyes widened when I realized how natural it felt to just reach to kiss him. My hand made its way atop his as he rested his on the bed. I smiled brightly and he withdrew his hand. It all happened so quickly, yet so slowly at the same time.

“It’s good to see you awake and well,” he said gently.

“Thank you so much,” I sang.

He breathed, “thank God.”

 David stood to take the roses and put them in a vase. “They are beautiful,” I remarked taking a closer look at them. Delicate petals flowering open in layer after smooth layer of ruby hills. “Not as beautiful as you,” James said and I blushed.

If you’ve enjoyed this sneak peek of, At The Time For Love, you will likely enjoy my book, Romantic Rendezvous for The Soul. To find out more about it, click here. To purchase a copy, click here.

“For centuries, the female heart has melted with desire for the lasting pleasure of unchanging love. In the course of time, civilizations have risen and fallen, yet the single longing for tangible intimacy has never faded. Millions of lyrics have been written to the passionate tune of this fluid yearning and more are being written every day. Unfortunately, few people find the lasting love that they longed for as children.

Life, education, and societal pressure transform what was once a tangible hope, into a mythical fairy tale. Industries have reaped unlimited monetary gain from the erosion of this waned hope. Billions of girls grow up into women who have long since tossed their dream of true love in the trash bin of responsibility and cynicism. Countless others, have buried their ache of unmet desire under the disappointment of failed relationships and hopelessness.

Despite most women’s’ best attempts, this starved craving remains alive, like a faint stimulating aroma.

This ethereal hope goes back to the first relationship…in a place of being so “seen” and “lovingly known” that “she” was naked and unashamed.

This novella was not written to add salt to the gaping wound of unsatisfied need. It was written to satisfy the need completely. Let Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul introduce you to a lasting relationship with Transcendent Love where reality becomes sweeter than your dreams.”

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The Most Beautiful Man

He’s the most beautiful Man.

His beauty is so great it makes me weep.

I fall to my knees from His radiant light…simultaneously I cry even as my heart explodes with joy; rejoicing resounds in my inner man at the sight of the greatest Lover in all creation.

He causes me to cry and laugh at the same time.

There are only two things that pierce the human soul: beauty and pain.

He is both.

He is the greatest beauty, the most radiant light, the highest joy, and yet those eyes of fluid love like liquid lava burns the one it meets.

 In His eyes I see an all-consuming fire; I see a deeper knowledge of myself than I have, I see Heaven, I see grace offered at a great sacrifice.

I see His pain.

I see His joy.

I see His passion.

I see the One who created me from a desire to love every part of me.

I see a redeeming love.

I see His wrists, knowing blood dripped from them like a river.

I see the eyes of eternity loving my ethereal form and my spiritual inner person.

I see a Man who pursued me at the highest cost.

I weep, I sob, I am ruined and saved in His arms.

He tells me He loves me.

He tells me, “Everything I have is yours, and everything you are is Mine.”

I walk on a distant hill in the cool of the morning. The sky glows a deep blue and I realize I am married to the greatest King.

He is no ordinary King. He doesn’t own a nation; He doesn’t own a country; He doesn’t own seas of gold; He doesn’t own a thousand rolling mountains on miles and miles of land…no…

He owns it all.

He owns the oceans.

He owns the world.

He owns every speck of dirt on the ground.

He owns every tree, every seed, every beast, every insect.

He owns justice.

He owns time.

He owns all wisdom.

He owns all riches.

He owns all goodness.

He owns…everything.

I look up and see the stars, glistening above my head, and He tells me, “They are yours.”

I think of them like wedding rings gifted to me.

The galaxies, infinite.

My mind tries to wrap around eternity.

My heart understands His love when my mind doesn’t.

Image by TweSwe from Pixabay

I know He will love me forever.

I know because over the years the greatest gift He’s ever given me wasn’t my initial salvation…no, it was loving me day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year faithfully, despite my brokenness, despite my unfaithfulness, despite the times I fussed angrily at Him, despite my weakness, despite my flight, despite my disobedience, despite my incapability to believe His love.

He loved me in my mess, in my dirt, in my blood, in my sin.

He’s seen the worst of me, and He proclaims the best anyway.

He calls me a princess.

He calls me beloved.

He shocks me time and time again when He says, “I commit myself to you. Receive my love.”

I look upon Him, all beautiful, so holy, so pure, so glorious, so powerful, so rich, so loving, and I weep.

His love drives out fear from my veins and floods me with living water.

He loves me so much He puts His Spirit in me.

He puts His very heart in me.

He says, “We are no longer two but one. I am inside of you.”

I cry.

How could He?

He, so pure and holy, put something so precious and eternal in my body?

No human lover, no matter how much passion, no matter how pure or fiery their love for a spouse, mother, father, or friend was, could ever give them their own life on a spiritual level.

It’s so much more than going to die for a person.

It’s permanently putting yourself in another no matter what the cost.

It’s sharing breath, sharing thoughts, and sharing emotion at the deepest conscious and subconscious level.

Only He is powerful enough to do that, only His love is that beautiful.

He tells me “I love you” daily and His whispers of passion erode the wall round my heart like the waves of an ocean against rock.

You love me, and all I want to do is worship You.

“His voice and speech are exceedingly sweet; yes, he is altogether lovely [the whole of him delights and is precious]. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem!”

—Song of Solomon 5:16 AMPC

~This worshipful sonnet is taken from my book about Jesus’ bridegroom love, Romantic Rendezvous for The Soul. To purchase a copy click here. Thank you for your support! <3

“As I read, I quickly became enthralled with this book, so beautifully written in the language of love. Each of these short stories so accurately reflects the romantic and wooing heart of the Bridegroom which draws you to Himself into a deeper place of love and intimacy. If you have not yet experienced romantic intimacy with God, I’m confident that this book will set you on course. It’s bound to warm your soul and whet your desire for your own heart-to-heart conversations and experiences with God. The author creatively ministers to the soul, bringing truth to light in the most tangible ways; you will feel that God is speaking directly to you, and He most certainly is! Some stories caused me to be drawn away into remembrance of my own experiences and conversations with God that have freed my soul; others caused me to reevaluate my heart’s commitment to my first Husband and cry out for forgiveness; and yet others simply took me on a delightful and exciting adventure of what the beginning of a holy, unadulterated love looks like – so refreshing to the soul! I commend the author for using her creative gifting to share personal reflections and heart intimacies which I know could only come from the deep well of Father’s heart. I highly recommend this book as a must read!” -Marina Garcia, worshipper.

Head image by Felix Merler from Pixabay

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A Car Conversation with Jesus

“Unbelief is rooted in lovelessness—the lack of accepting the full measure of my love. Without love there cannot be faith, for faith works by love. Without faith, it is impossible to please God. You cannot receive what we yearn for you to have…what I paid a dear price for you to have.” Jesus sighed heavily.

His words bit at the philosophy in my mind, and thus damaged my pride with health-giving grace.

We were nearing the lake. As I looked ahead, I discerned glimmers of its moonlit waters behind the tall pine trees.

I began to be thirsty, and without verbalizing my desire, Jesus reached in the back and grabbed a cold bottle of water. “For you, love.”

I took it with a small “thank you.”

Inside, I mulled on his words and felt like the watery surface of my soul was being stirred by an unfamiliar wind. I knew his presence was causing the stirring and I wasn’t sure I was ready to uncover what was masked underneath the water.

“Don’t be hurt by my words. They are only meant to heal you and set you free.” He extended his arm and stroked my cheek with his right hand. “I love you just as the Father loves me. You mean more than the world to us. What I am saying to you now is the same thing I dealt with my disciples about. They too were often fearful. Think of when I walked on water and they imagined I was a ghost, or when they feared after my death and hid? Even after I told them I would rise again. What has tempted you is common to man. But I Am the door of escape.”

There was a great inflection of hope in his voice. “You will see great things. I will perform wonders in your life.”

My heart lit up with warm joy at his words. It was as if the Spirit of God inside me poured a cup of warm oiled water over the table of my heart’s imagination, scenting everything with hope. I was so awed by the deep intimacy of having the very Spirit of God indwell me and bear witness to the words of Christ.

However, without warning my reverie was soon interrupted by the accusatory thought that miracles could never be performed in my life or by my hands. My emotions began to sink.

Jesus’ face wrinkled as he sensed the enemy. “What’s this?” he asked, prying for me to confess a truth he already knew.

I stammered, “I…I…”

“This is the real enemy love. Not the devil. He is already defeated. But the entertainment of thoughts that are not of faith is the enemy. It’s the only enemy that has the possibility of stealing what is rightfully yours by grace. It’s the only enemy of physical and emotional healing, salvation, deliverance, and wholeness. Don’t you see? You already have everything in me. You are blessed with every blessing. How could Father spare not even me from you…yet deny you anything else? He has graciously given you all things for life abundant and godliness. You are not your own righteousness, you are not your own salvation, you are not your own qualification for our blessings. You will never be your own deliverance. Every good and perfect gift comes from above, from our Father. He is light. He doesn’t change his mind. These promises do not shift. They are a constant reminder of our unshifting grace and unmovable love for you. Faith for the promises is based on your understanding of Father’s goodness and my finished work.”

I started to sense that my soul was knit to his, and that I couldn’t hide in any way. I became aware of his presence within me like concentrated love attempting to ease every hurting place. I felt undivided acceptance and affection and peace that produced confidence. 🌱💐🌳

-I hope you enjoyed this snippet from my newest book, Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul (about inner healing through intimacy with Jesus ❤ )! To purchase a copy, click here ☕️

~To learn more about my book, visit my Free Inspiration page ✍️

Scripture references from this preview ❤ :

Galatians 5:6, Hebrews 11:6 John 15:9 1 Corinthians 10:13 Ephesians 1:3 Romans 8:32 2 Peter 1:3 James 1:17

xoxo

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Speaking Tenderly

~This devotional is taken from my book, Visions of Celestial Love. To learn more about it, visit my Purchasable Goodies page.

Therefore, behold, I will allure her [Israel] and bring her into the wilderness, and I will speak tenderly and to her heart. There I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor [troubling] to be for her a door of hope and expectation. And she shall sing there and respond as in the days of her youth and as at the time when she came up out of the land of Egypt. —Hosea 2:14–15 AMPC

This is sheer poetry to my soul. God speaks volumes to His beloved in these verses. The church is His beloved, both individually and collectively. This morning I dropped my brother off to school and was aware of a familiar pain. I spent time alone in my mom’s van talking to God about it. I was honest and open with Him.

When I walked in the house these were the verses that I turned to. Through them He pointed things out to me. He said, “I want to give you hope again. I don’t want you to give in to cynicism because of disappointments and supposedly deferred dreams.”

God said He would make my troubling a door of hope for me, and not just a door of hope but a door of expectation.

God reminded me through scripture that He is a good lover, because a good lover is the caretaker of His beloved’s heart. He said, “I will speak tenderly and to her heart.”

As my eyes scrolled down the pages He spoke more:

And it shall be in that day, says the Lord, that you will call Me Ishi [my Husband], and you shall no more call Me Baali [my Baal]…. And I will break the bow and the sword and [abolish battle equipment and] conflict out of the land and will make you lie down safely. —Hosea 2:16, 18b AMPC

Through these verses the Lord said, “You will know Me personally. You will be close to Me, for I will cause your heart through intimacy to call Me Husband.”

He also said, “I will break the bow in your soul, I will abolish the inner turmoil you feel and cause you to rest in my serene peace.”

Prompted through reflections of His loving words I continued reading:

And I will betroth you to Me forever; yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and justice, in steadfast love, and in mercy. I will even betroth you to Me in stability and in faithfulness, and you shall know (recognize, be acquainted with, appreciate, give heed to, and cherish) the Lord. —Hosea 2:19–20 AMPC

Here God spoke, “My mercy, and My love for you is steadfast. It does not die, it does not deplete. It isn’t diminished by you, nor however you think you’ve disappointed Me. My love is timeless and nothing you do or don’t do can affect the steadfastness of it.

“You are rightly Mine through royal, and holy blood. Blood that is other, not of this world. Blood that is spirit and life paid for you to live in paradise and be wooed by My love. You are betrothed to Me in righteousness and justice. It is right and just that you are Mine…and I am yours as far as My love is concerned.

“I will even marry you in stability and faithfulness. Do you know what that means? That means you don’t have to worry about chaos. Our marriage is stable as far as the Heavens are everlasting and immovable. You have peace. We have peace. Our relationship is marked by My peace…and you will remain in this peace for as long as you know that My love cannot be moved from you. You are My heart’s gaze, and My affections are set firmly upon you. Know that even if you fail to believe sometimes, you always have My peace…you just don’t always remain in it.

“I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. I will be faithful to you through all eternity. Let My eyes wash you with My love. I look at no others. I see no others. I Am the Husband of your dreams. The Husband that marks every part of you and calls you beautiful all over. The Husband who sees you on those early mornings where your hair is disheveled, when your breath stinks, when you’re having an emotional meltdown, when you’re moody, when you’re sweaty from work, and in sweat pants. I love you in those areas that you think you are ugly. I love to love you in those areas where you feel embarrassed and would rather not be seen. I love you in those areas because those are the areas where you most need to be loved.

“I Am the Husband of your dreams. I have eyes only for you. And I will be faithful to you always. Though the world shakes, though times change, though people come and people go, though you may act unfaithfully, though you may lose sight of love, though estrangement and loneliness may come, though you may pull away sometimes, though things rage…I will be faithful to you always.

“You are the queen I’ve waited for since I created the world. And I will clothe you in royalty and crown you with honor and virtue. It is Me who makes you beautiful. You are a reflection of all My affections, and the more you receive My love for you the more you display My beauty…the beauty that was always yours to own and have.

“You are the prize I’ve worked for throughout the ages. You are the one My heart dreamed of when I hovered over the waters in the beginning. Nothing else in all of creation can compare to you, My love—not oceans, not seas, not sunrises, not sunsets, not grassy plains or rainbows in the sky, not angels, not gold or precious stones.

“If only you could see the way I stare at you. If only you could taste the love that wells up in My heart every time I see you. I want you to experience Me the way I experience you. I am here, and I am here for a lifetime. I’ll be here for eternity loving you, and I rejoice in the day that you believe it. I am faithful.”

And in that day I will respond, says the Lord; I will respond to the heavens [which ask for rain to pour on the earth], and they shall respond to the earth [which begs for the rain it needs],

            And the earth shall respond to the grain and the wine and the oil [which beseech it to bring them forth], and these shall respond to Jezreel [restored Israel, who prays for a supply of them].

            And I will sow her for Myself anew in the land, and I will have love, pity, and mercy for her who had not obtained love, pity, and mercy; and I will say to those who were not My people, You are My people, and they shall say, You are my God! —Hosea 2:21–23 AMPC

May God’s loving words wash you with sweet, restoring love, the way it did me this morning.

To purchase a copy of Visions of Celestial Love, click here.

“A delightful book that reflects the praises from a heart that desires to abide closely with our Heavenly Father. Written in a style that summons us to experience a journey of deeper intimacy with a loving God. Ashley covers the foundation of the Christian faith that brings encouragement and assurance of God’s promises when faced with life’s challenges. Embracing our uniqueness and the safety of transparency before our Maker who cares about the most intricate details of our life. Yes, an invitation indeed from the One and only who can fill what are heart’s ache for.” — Jocelyn Reyna,

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Discussing Intimacy, Sex and God

~This preview is taken from my upcoming Christian fiction book, At the Time for Love, a book based off Ezekiel 16:6-14. This novella is meant to introduce young women to the intimate love of Jesus while transparently discussing the topic of: romantic relationships, the often tumultuous and confusing emotions of teenage girls (as well as their blossoming longing for mature love), sex, and above all, the tender Bridegroom love of Jesus. When I was 16 years old, Jesus came after my heart and I wrote my first romantic story, I Do, about being his bride while listening to the song Hero by Enrique Iglesias. Because of his pure love, I walked through my young adult life whole and avoided much heartbreak and compromise. Later, I married the man of my dreams (my 1st boyfriend). My passion is to bring purity and sexual healing back to this generation. I pray Jesus uses this book to save young women in the same way He saved me. This book is meant for girls ages 12-18.

This scene opens up with the main characters tiredly making their way back home at dawn after a long day of harvesting. Enjoy!

“I think you’ve gained a few pounds,” Kendell said after a few minutes and fake grunted as he readjusted me.

“You just can’t say anything nice, can you?” I said and gently slapped him across the back of his head.

“Ouch,” he laughed teasingly.

“You’re carrying a sack of potatoes around your chest Kendell, not just Autumn,” David said in my defense.

“And you’ve been working all day,” James added.

“And Autumn gained weight,” Kendell mocked, “probably from working at Mills around all that good food.”

“You’re such a jerk!” I scolded.

“I’m carrying you, aren’t I?” Kendell stated, “last time I checked, jerks didn’t do that.”

“I’ll gladly walk,” I fumed and began to untie my legs. Kendell held me fast, “I was just kidding. No need to get all hurt.”

I tried again and he leaned forward, “Oh stop being such a big baby. It’s not like we don’t spar with our words all the time!”

“But you’ve never called me fat.” I fumed.

“I didn’t call you fat. I simply said you gained weight…and I was just joking.”

“You’re quiet the prince charming.” James commented toward Kendell.

“I know, won’t he make some woman happy one day?” David quipped sarcastically.

“Pssshhh. And you guys are ladies’ men, are you? Last time I checked no woman was drooling over either of you,” Kendell grinned before proudly adding, “now I’m a different story entirely.”

“Sure, you can get a woman easily but keeping her is totally different. She’d use up less than half a brain stem before leaving your over-cocky backside.”

Kendell frowned, “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked James.

“Your complements are cheap,” David said seeking to explain.

“Your flattery is empty,” James continued before grinning, “if you even have flattery.”

Kendell threw his head back in fake amusement, “isn’t flattery the only thing a man has?”

James and David passed each other a knowing look.

“No way dude.” James said almost admonishingly.

“It’s about heart,” David continued, “looks will only get you so far. Eventually any decent woman would leave a man without heart. And it’s the decent ones that you want.”

“And last time I checked prince charming wasn’t running after a million different women. He had his eyes set on one…and he pursued her with all his strength. We could learn a lesson or two from that alone.” James preached.

“Women want a great lover, not a great flatter-er.” David said.

Thomas and Ginger had slightly wandered off, and he was spinning her around in whimsical circles. She stretched her arms out like wings. Her gaily laughter floated in the air like translucent rainbow bubbles,”wwwhhhhheeeeeeeeee!”

I was beginning to feel awkward to be in the midst of such a conversation amongst the guys. Yet, in some way I liked being there. It gave me an inside scoop on all of them and I felt like a fly on the wall. I wanted to be invisible and I quelled my breaths unconsciously.

“Since you guys know so much about women how come both of you are single?” Kendell inquired.

I waited for their answer as well.

“Because I choose to be.” David answered.

“Loser.” Kendell coughed.

“What’s wrong with that?” James asked.

“Oh, come on! You can’t tell me you’ve never wanted a girlfriend? David, seriously, you’ve never had a girlfriend in your life and you’re in your twenties. Is that even possible?”

“Clearly.” David answered.

“Is it healthy?!” Kendell asked quite ardently.

“It’s much healthier than sleeping around with a whole bunch of women and having shallow relationships,” James spoke, “that stuff tends to damage peoples’ souls.”

“Amen,” David said echoing his approval before glancing at Kendell, “you have a false sense of romance. If dad would have let you have your way you probably would have dated half the women in this town.”

“And they would have each obliged me happily.”

James shook his head, “that’s not what it’s about bro.”

“I’m not saying I would have literally dated so many. But to be this age and having dated none? It’s ridiculous. David, doesn’t that bother you?”

“Not when you know what you want.”

“How could you know what you want and never have experienced?”

“When you’ve studied. And then you finally see the one.”

“How do you know she’s the one when you see her?” Kendell asked before jesting, “does a big flashing arrow point to her?”

“You get a check in your spirit.”

Kendell rolled his eyes, “Okay David, better question. Have you found the one?”

 David’s answer surprised all of us, besides James it seemed, “maybe.”

My eyes shot open.

“What? You have a girlfriend?!” Kendell asked now excited.

“No,” David said quickly, “but…never mind.”

“No, you have to talk now!” Kendell said matching his stride to David’s.

David remained quiet and Kendell harassed him for information.

“Forget it. It’s none of your business.” David said hushing him.

“Weren’t you the one just preaching to me about relationships? Now you don’t want to share? Spill the beans buddy, I’m finally interested.”

When David didn’t speak, I voiced, “mama mentioned that you liked someone.”

David eyes widened and flashed, yet he remained cool, “did she?”

“Who is it Autumn?” Kendell probed nudging my leg.

“I don’t know,” I said honestly, “she wouldn’t tell me.”

The conversation remained on David for a while until Kendell got absolutely fed up of running into dead ends with our eldest brother who insisted on shielding information.

Done with David, Kendell interrogated James, “what about you?”

“What about me?” James asked feigning ignorance.

“Oh, don’t play stupid. How’s your non-existent love life?” he smirked.

James took no offense and smiled, “wonderful.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“I’m not gonna lie to you. I’ve made a lot of mistakes as a non-believer. Being single in this season with Jesus has been one of the most peaceful times of my entire life.”

“What kind of mistakes?” Kendell asked completely ignoring the fact that James said he was at peace.

“Pre-marital sex,” James said with no difference of tone. His brute honesty caught Kendell off guard. My heart sank even though he had already told me about his former life before. The hurtful information came to me anew, before a purifying forgiveness that wasn’t my own, washed my emotions clean.

“You’ve had sex before?” Kendell asked completely taken aback.

“It’s not uncommon in the rest of the world outside Pomeberry,” James said, “this Amish community is an anomaly.”

“Well yeah, I know. But…I could never have imagined you doing stuff like that.”

“Jesus changes people,” James said with a grin.

“How was it?” Kendell asked startling me.

David glanced at me and felt my embarrassment. “Perhaps these things shouldn’t be discussed with our little 16-year-old sister around.” David said looking dead on at Kendell.

Kendell remained quiet for a while as he shifted his gaze between James and David. “She can… cover her ears?” Kendell said in a suggesting tone.

“Maybe he needs to hear it bro,” James said looking at David before he glanced at me, “…I won’t say anything inappropriate… if it’s okay with you?”

I nodded my head and tried to seem cool even as my emotions ran wild within. I turned my face away from him.

When David slightly nodded his approval, James answered, “It was shallow and completely unsatisfying. Sin will only give you pleasure for a moment. After the pleasure’s gone you’re left feeling just as empty as you were before…if not more.”

“Then why is sex so strong an influence?” Kendell questioned.

“I can tell you this, outside of marriage it’s nothing more than a drug to the body and a sword to the heart,” James paused and then his tone shifted to reverence, “but inside of marriage sex is a beautiful expression of covenant love. It’s wholly satisfying, connecting, and life giving. It’s even holy before God because He created it to be a bonding experience between a husband and his wife… and to procreate life. Tell me something…don’t you want to make love to the woman you know chose you over all the other men on earth and is committed to loving you for the rest of her life? Think about it. Making love to someone who will stay with you forever, who will be there when you wake up in the morning and who you’re deeply in love with? Her offering her body to you is the expression of her offering you the deepest parts of her. People who play around with sex have insecure love and their lust is often a reflection of grasping selfishness, but people who have sex within marriage have secure love. They have made a public commitment to give their all. There’s nothing better than guilt free pleasure with security.”

My cheeks were aflame now and I was so grateful for the dark that hid my blushed skin. My heart was drumming wildly and I pushed my chest from touching Kendell’s back so he wouldn’t feel it.

Kendell fell silent for a brief moment before saying, “yes. Who wouldn’t want that?”

“Exactly,” James said pleased at the expression on Kendell’s face, “this is God’s good desire for his children. Naked and unashamed.”

The conversation tarried on before we finally arrived at the house.

I was all too pleased to get down from Kendell’s back and escape inside.

David, and James noticed my quick flight.

“She doesn’t do well with romantic topics.” David told James.

“I noticed she doesn’t fare well with compliments either. She had a hard time accepting it when I called her a princess.” James said.

“Yeah…she’s maturing, but more slowly than your average…” David paused struggling with the word, “wo-man. Just two nights ago I asked her about her crush and she was mortified that I read her so easily. She wouldn’t tell me who the guy was.”

“Oh really?” I heard James say. His voice was animated and he arched an eyebrow.

David nodded, “I’ll eventually find out though.”  

“I pray she’s brave enough to let you in soon. I know how much you care for her.”  

Photo by ramtin ak from Pexels

Mama made beef stew and sticky rice for dinner. It was delicious and incredibly warming. I sucked and chewed on the tender seasoned meat. After dinner Ginger brought out the pie and everyone dug in.

“You make the best pies Autumn,” James said as he took a bite.

“Thank you,” I said trying to hide my shyness. I remembered that warm day between the blueberry branches where I told him that everyone knew my pies were “good.” He’d bought one at the next market to test one of them.

“Ginger helped too,” Paige said as she went for a tub of vanilla ice cream to add on top of the hot pie.

“It’s incredible,” Marian said toward Ginger. She then looked at me, “it really is.”

“I’m glad you like it,” Ginger beamed happily.

Paige set the tub down and dipped the scooper in, “who wants some?” she asked and then proceeded to give to those who raised their hands.

After the desert was finished Ginger and I presented the extra gift pie to James and Marian who accepted it with thanks. Shortly after, they waved us goodbye and bid us good night.

“Until the morning,” James waved with Marian at his side.

“God willing,” David waved and showed them out before closing the door behind them.

After hearing the sound of James’ truck drumming away, I headed upstairs.

“I’ll help you with the dishes ma,” I heard David say.

“That won’t be necessary. You’ve had a long day,” she said patting him on the arm.

He sighed, clearly too tired to argue, “good night ma,” he said and kissed her on the head before scaling the stairs.

Showers were timed as everyone needed to wash up. Mama offered Ginger and I dad’s restroom and I found it comical that I was bathing with Ginger when just the other night I had shooed her away. Her dark ebony curls were so soggy with shampoo that the foam of it dropped down her forehead and cheeks. She proceeded to play with the bath bubbles by blowing them in my face and I remembered with annoyance why I had kicked her out of our bathroom last night.

After showering, I stayed up for a long time in bed staring at the ceiling and thinking about the awkward conversation I was subject to. While I had been reluctant to even bring God into the subject of dating until a few days ago, thinking it sacrilegious, James had brought Him into his sexual understanding without the slightest unease. He talked about it like he would talk about scripture, yet his demeanor was one of complete rest and peace. He even called it “holy” in the same breath that he called it “pleasurable.”

Something shifted deep within me, and I felt myself gape open within. I felt a freedom to express myself to God about this in a way I hadn’t before. I poured myself in prayer that night, and asked The Lord to help me see things the way He did. I asked Him to help me grow up into womanhood. I knew I had avoided things that forced me into adulthood many times in the past:

I remembered the day Paige blow dried my hair and put me in her clothes for my interview, and how the word “beautiful” came out of David’s lips when he saw me. I couldn’t ever remember being called beautiful in that sense before.

I thought about the first day I saw James. Something inside my soul awakened for the first time and my secure little world continued to ebb away the longer he stayed. A desire was kindled despite the waters of resistance I put on it, and it only fanned into a bursting flame whenever I’d come in contact with him.

I thought back to the day that Paige said, “you will be a wife and a mother someday. You can’t afford to make these kinds of mistakes anymore!” It was the day I had left bread in the oven and she followed behind me and turned it off. At that moment, I was almost unbelieving at the suggestion in her tone. Sure, I knew someday I would be a wife and mom…but the way she spoke of it made it seem like it was sooner rather than later.  

 I remembered the fleeting moments I had when the Holy Spirit would nudge me with a whisper to talk to Him about my newfound affections. I remember the afternoon Danielle told me to take my feelings to Jesus, and the many times Paige opened up the subject to me in a safe way so that I would share.

I remember slighting David for asking me about my romantic emotions. What I thought was his imposing was actually his invitation for intimate conversation. I remembered Kendell telling me as I explored my wardrobe that I wasn’t the “dirty nailed, jumper wearing, messy haired, cool girl” that he grew up with anymore. He had called me “French girl” in reference to my changed preference of dress.

I also remembered the day I saw Matt pacify his wife Kate outside and then kiss her. When I saw that a wistful ache of longing was felt within me for the briefest of moments until Ginger distracted me.

A cataclysm of other memories filled my mind of moments where romance had called me and I had rejected it. These memories boiled together in a stew of blended pictures. All this time I had been fighting back the hands of time. I wasn’t a little girl anymore. Some part of me was, but that part was receding while the other part was growing.

In the quiet of the night I besought the Lord and in a moment of prayer I heard Ezekiel 16 in my spirit. At first, I didn’t want to bother opening my Bible since I was having such a good time in prayer… but a nudging filled me. Reaching for my Bible I opened it and fingered my way to Ezekiel 16. The words jumped out of the pages at me and burst in my heart:

And as for your birth, on the day you were born your navel cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to cleanse you, nor rubbed with salt or swaddled with bands at all. No eye pitied you to do any of these things for you, to have compassion on you; but you were cast out in the open field, for your person was abhorrent and loathsome on the day that you were born. And when I passed by you and saw you rolling about in your blood, I said to you in your blood, Live! Yes, I said to you still in your natal blood, Live! I caused you [Israel] to multiply as the bud which grows in the field, and you increased and became tall and you came to full maidenhood and beauty; your breasts were formed and your hair had grown, yet you were naked and bare.Now I passed by you again and looked upon you; behold, you were maturing and at the time for love, and I spread My skirt over you and covered your nakedness. Yes, I plighted My troth to you and entered into a covenant with you, says the Lord, and you became Mine. Then I washed you with water; yes, I thoroughly washed away your [clinging] blood from you and I anointed you with oil.I clothed you also with embroidered cloth and shod you with [fine seal] leather; and I girded you about with fine linen and covered you with silk. I decked you also with ornaments and I put bracelets on your wrists and a chain on your neck. And I put a ring on your nostril and earrings in your ears and a beautiful crown upon your head! Thus you were decked with gold and silver, and your raiment was of fine linen and silk and embroidered cloth; you ate fine flour and honey and oil. And you were exceedingly beautiful and you prospered into royal estate. And your renown went forth among the nations for your beauty, for it was perfect through My majesty and splendor which I had put upon you, says the Lord God.

 I could hardly believe the intimate words of my Lord. The words; behold, you were maturing and at the time for love ministered to me in ways that caused my heart beat to become clear in my ears. The hairs on my neck pricked up and goose bumps spread across my arms in a dominos affect. I sucked in a breath of air sharply before slowly releasing. My desire arose within in me in such a powerful way that I was completely unaware of my surroundings for a brief moment. This “feeling” was more real than the clothes on my back. I desired, I wanted, I longed…and for the first time I saw with the eyes of my heart that this was from God. It wasn’t just accepted by Him, it didn’t just please Him, but it was from Him!

A tangible Presence seemed to enter the room and sit in front of me. My eyes went wide and I melted at the heavenly Presence.

“My beloved, my dove, my spotless one, my bride.” (Song of Solomon 5:2)

I closed my eyes overwhelmed by the intensity of the love I felt. Tears pricked at my eyes and I knew a new dawn had come. As the pure and beautiful Presence dissipated I knew things would never be the same. I was awakened.

~If you liked this sneak peek of, At The Time For Love, check out my book, Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul! There is deeper love awaiting you! A love the world can’t take away.

“Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul introduces fictional stories painted with tender intimacy to gently unravel the ageless waters of human desire for everlasting love. Based on the sacred theology of Jesus as the Church’s Bridegroom, Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul’s storybook manner sparks the imagination, exposes hidden wounds, and nourishes the soul. Through deeply warm conversations, unsuspecting characters encounter Jesus, who is sometimes disguised, and come to find Him as the healing Lover of their souls. These therapeutic conversations take place in a café, a ballroom floor in heaven, beside a lake, in Jerusalem and other colorful places that welcome rest. The book is framed by the extended story of Noble and Trisha’s romance—one that connects with many young women. Ultimately, this book was designed to usher the reader into the comforting arms of Jesus, where He can make them whole with pure love.” -Ashley Thompson McClelland

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Long Awaited Confession

~This is a sneak peek at my upcoming book, At The Time For Love, based on the holy marital covenant God made in Ezekiel 16. I hope you enjoy! <3

I gazed into his frozen emerald eyes. His frame stood like a mountain over mama’s. His broad shoulders were once the landscape that I leaned on.

Just as sorrow threatened to rise I heard the voice of the Holy Spirit, I am with him. He will be home soon.

“Thank you for looking after him.” I whispered to my divine Friend.

Always. I will never leave him or forsake him.

The Holy Spirit ministered to my soul as I went in my parents’ bathroom. It smelled of fragrant oils and I opened the sea foam green cabinet with a sapphire blue knob. I saw mama’s oils in a clear container. After opening it I searched for the two peppermint and myrrh. It took a while to finger through and read the tiny labels, but after a few minutes I successful retrieved them. Making sure to roll the dark amber oil glass containers in place, I secured the lid back on before putting the container back. As I raised I noticed a weathered looking letter addressed to mama. I could see faded black words in ink through the folding. It looked like Papa’s penmanship. Curiosity itched my mind but I withdrew purposefully. I was sure it was a letter that all of us had read before. And besides, I didn’t want to go sifting through anything that mama wasn’t aware of.

I made my way into the kitchen and saw that David had taken out several ingredients for the cookies. He was already done with the alcoholic mixture and Thomas seemed very well contended sipping it.

“High quality stuff,” Thomas said leaning back in the chair causing two of the legs to lift off the floor.

“What did I tell you about that?” Mama gently reprimanded and Thomas quickly corrected his posture. Kendell was finishing his drink and I saw the annoyed, tight-lipped expression on his face as he glanced at Thomas. He surely didn’t expect the tables to be turned on him like it was.

When I came within eyeshot of mama she waved for me to follow her. I was grateful we weren’t going to have our one on one in the same room as my brothers…especially with the mood of things.

Mama took me back down the hallway but this time instead of making a right turn we made a left. I saw we were headed to her library, also known as papa’s office.

She closed the door behind us and I waited for her direction.

She stretched her hand out with an open palm, signaling for me to sit on the plush kali tufted chaise lounge chair. The smell of old books was like wearing a comforting sweater to my senses.

I took her nonverbal cue and sat down at the edge of the chair. She took up a small bag from the large mahogany desk and looped around me before sitting at the base. Her legs stretched forward on both sides of my hips and I briefly grabbed the hazelnut cushion to steady myself.

“Lean back a little dear,” she welcomed.

I obeyed and held out the oils over my shoulder. She took them and put them beside her.

Slowly and quietly she unwound my hair.

Soft red curls made long waves down my back and fell by my lower spine. Mama gathered the hair in her hands and gently flicked her hands, causing bunches of my hair to fan out and then return like a swing at a park.

“Such glorious flames,” she praised.

I almost blushed as a swell of heat flushed my cheeks.

“Thanks mama.”

“I’m glad you never cut yours like Ginger.”

I nodded, “me too. Although I know Ginger likes her short Shirley temple bob.”

Mama agreed, “I do too. I didn’t think I would… but her haircut suites her. She had eyes to see what I couldn’t.”

“Hmmm…she had eyes to see what none of us could…even papa.”

Mama made a noise that left me wondering. I heard her untwist the lid to one of the oils. Within a few seconds I knew it was the peppermint one because the strong refreshing aroma burst into the air like a birthday candle being lit.

Mama let a few drops fall on her finger tips before she began massaging the therapeutic oil into my scalp. Her nimble but gentle hands immediately caused my shoulders to relax. I closed my eyes and let myself breathe in deeply.

After a minute or so of receiving a silent scalp rub mama spoke, “I believe you have eyes to see what others cannot dear.”

My eyes opened at that.

“What do you mean?” I asked curiously.

Mama didn’t answer at first. She picked up the brush and began stroking my hair. She seemed to be searching for a way to verbalize her thoughts. Finally, she spoke.

“I believe you have a way of seeing God that is special.”

My heart went warm.

“I think everyone has their own special way of relating to God.”

“Of course, we all do,” mama agreed, “everyone must have their own personal relationship. He’s not a distant God. He’s right here,” she tapped the skin over my heart and then her own. “And He’s up there,” she said pointing toward the heavens.

Mama reached for the comb when she hit a few small knots. I was amazed that I had missed the amount that I did.

“But dear…it isn’t the personal relationship I was talking about. It’s your child-like innocence.”

I didn’t know how to respond so I remained quiet.

“Few people grow up and remain so oblivious to…the corruption of the world. If not the corruption then at least the knowledge of the evil.”

“Oh mama, if that’s anybody in this house then it’s Ginger.” I said trying not to sound dismissing.

“Yes, Ginger is pure and unsurprisingly so. She’s 14 and has been homeschooled her whole life.”

Several seconds passed by and mama sighed. I didn’t know whether it was from the tangles in my hair or something bottled inside of her. “Autumn…you see God in everything dear. He talks to you. He shows you things…and you listen. You may not express it much but you listen.”

“It’s why I write.” I confessed and felt my eyes water. I didn’t know why I was reacting the way I was. “I don’t know how else to give life to what He speaks to me. I try to live out the way He wants but I find I fall short often…especially with my mouth.”

She worked in silence, waiting for me to continue.

“But I’m coming to realize He’s not after my performance. He’s been after my heart…my fears…my desires and our relationship. I think once I let Him in…the behavior will naturally follow.”

“Of course, it will,” mama said lovingly and kissed my ear.

A tear slipped from my eye and I wanted to hide it but didn’t.

“He’s amazing mama. More amazing than I ever knew. More amazing than I understand now. And He’s so close. So close and always present to all my needs. He knows everything about me and He just wants in on everything because He just wants me.”

My vision blurred and I wrung my fingers.

“When did this start happening?” I heard mama whisper thickly to herself. Her voice was so hushed I thought I’d imagined it.

“About the time James came to town,” I said without meaning to. The words flew out of my mouth but it was like I was hearing them being spoken by a stranger.

“What?” Mama asked, her pitch much higher this time.

I bite my fingernails into the cushion and held my tongue.

“Autumn?” Mama questioned when I stayed quiet.

I gulped slowly. I had just realized the truth of it myself and I was still processing everything. More so, I was mortified that my mother was the first to know!

“Autumn?” She inquired again, this time with a little more force.

“Huh?” I answered innocently.

“What do you mean?”

I glanced down at my hands. I felt a tingling sensation in my chest…like saccharine roots burrowing down in my heart.

She had completely forgotten about my hair. Her hands were now on my arms. I risked and leaned back into her chest and she embraced me. Clear trails of tears lined my cheeks.

“Oh honey. Why are you crying?” She asked surprised.

Woman, why are you crying? I remembered the first words of Jesus when He had resurrected from the dead. Healing words meant to comfort his beloved friend Mary Magdeline.

Mama hugged me more snuggly and she planted light kisses across my forehead.

Mama, I love him! I wanted to say. It felt so safe to tell her but I couldn’t bring myself to do it and I wasn’t sure why.

“It’s just…he has been such an example of Jesus in our friendship. And I know our relationship has made me open up to God in ways I hadn’t before. I feel like I’ve let go of some fears and so I’ve been able to grow up in Christ and mature more.”

“You certainly behave more maturely…and you even dress more…womanly.” Mama commented thoughtfully. Her eyes flickered and I saw she was thinking. A pensive look overshadowed her face and then a brightness.

“You and James are good friends?”

My heart thudded in my chest.

“Yes, we are.” I admitted.

“Just friends?” Mama asked.

Dread came over me and I felt the blood rush down from my face. “Not just friends. We’re…uh…brother and sister in Christ.” I bleated. I was grateful for the scapegoat.

“Well of course you are,” mama chuckled warmly, “I already knew that.”

I raised up and she released me.

Before she could say anything more about James I rushed away from discussing him, “he’s helped me open up to God more without realizing it. But mostly I hear from God when I’m away from James. He speaks to me in the night before I go to bed…well that is…if I listen. I find myself talking to Him more when I wake up. And I’ve been seeing things too mama. Such beautiful things. I can’t fully describe them.”

Mama played along, “what kind of things dear?” she asked untwisting the myrrh. I described to her the vision I had in James truck on my way to see Carol and Josh for the first time.

Her breath caught when I told of her seeing people from every tribe, tongue and nation worshipping…and how big Jesus was that all I could see was his legs and feet.

She sniffled and said emotionally, “I could almost see it when you were talking.”

“I think that’s the first time anything like that’s happened to me.”

“Yes….” Mama said slowly, a corner of her lips lifted, “and you said you were in James’ truck?”

I sighed loudly, “yes, but what does that matter?”

“It doesn’t unless it does.”

“Well it doesn’t.”

“Doesn’t it? You just said so yourself that your relationship with God has changed since you’ve known James.”

“I…I think God just used James to introduce me to Himself in ways He’s been trying to for a long time now.”

“God uses people hun. We are His body. He seldom if ever moves without us. We are His temple, His church, His children…” she began massaging the myrrh into my scalp before whispering, “His bride.”

I unconsciously stiffened.

“But you don’t have to tell me anything that you’re not ready to,” she continued, “I could tell you’ve been blossoming over the past few months. You’re like a late rose, opening up to reveal the most beautiful petals. You’re maturing. At the time for love.”

I chortled nervously, “I think Paige and David are at that stage mama. They are more mature than Kendell, Thomas or Ginger and I.”

“Yes, they are.” She agreed.

“If you want grandchildren, I would recommend them first.” I tried to make my voice sound flat and emotionless.

“I never said anything about grandchildren,” Mama said pleased, “but the sound of some is a nice change.”

I bit my bottom lip and said nothing.

Mama detected my spiking nervous energy and began a prayer, “Jesus, thank you for Autumn. I pray you help her to receive more of your love and to show her how much I love her. Thank you for steadily driving out any fears or misconceptions that she may have toward herself, You and her family. I pray that one day she understands fully that she can share anything with me. Strengthen our relationship by your love and Spirit. In your name I pray, amen.”

Her prayer eased me as well as the way her fingers rubbed into my skin.

We both sat in silence until she was done. I was grateful that she didn’t press me anymore.

Afterward she French braided my hair and it resembled a stocky glossy rope.

She tied the bottom with a green elastic band.

“There,” she exhaled satisfied.

I spread my fingers as my hand trailed down the braid, “thank you mama.”

“You’re welcome dear.” She said and began putting everything away in the bag.

I stood and when she gave me her nonverbal approval, I headed for the door.

Just as I reached the doorframe she called me back.

“Autumn?”

“Hmm?” I said turning to face her.

“For the record. If you were to like James and he, you in return, I couldn’t be more pleased with it.”

My lips parted unintentionally.

She continued, “I think he’s one of the godliest young men that I’ve ever met. He’s genuine, giving, wise, loving, and… handsome too.” She chuckled with a wink.

I rubbed my arm, “so you wouldn’t mind at all mama?” I asked bravely.

“No. I would wish him to marry one of my girls. In fact, I would pray that all of you find a man with characteristics such as him.”

I couldn’t help myself. A broad and blushful smile spread across my face, lifting my cheeks and causing them to rose in hue like unfolding flower petals.

Mama saw my reaction and smiled brightly in return.

James already had her approval and I knew the odds with David were in my favor. It was only papa that concerned me now.

“Thanks mama,” I said and then dipped my chin, “I do like him. I love him.”

Mama’s eyes misted now and she touched a hand to the skin that surfaced her heart, “does he love you back?”

I nodded and she rose from her chair before coming toward with arms wide open.

She hugged me tightly for a long time and I rested my cheek on her shoulder—sobbing and laughing. Peace like a flood washed over my whole being. I felt so light and free.

Mama kissed my cheek. Her lips were wet with salty tears. I didn’t expect her reaction to be so admirable and jovial. Our elation was almost tangible.

I leaned my whole body into her and she hugged my torso securely.

After what seemed like eternity and a few seconds at the same time, we parted. She cupped my face, “did he propose?” she asked.

I laughed brokenly, “no mama. He wants permission to court me.”

“A man like James has only one thing in mind with courting…a permanent relationship.”

“I’d marry him tomorrow if he asked.” I confessed.

Mama threw her head back and laughed. When she was finished she wiped tears of mirth form her eyes, “not so fast turbo. We need your father to walk you down the aisle remember? I’d doubt he’d want David to substitute such an important event.”

My smile slowly faded, “papa doesn’t know James.”

“It won’t take him long to read him. Your father has a gift for discerning people.”

When I said nothing, she assured me again and then asked, “is this why James wants to speak with your brother and I?”

“Yes,” I admitted.

“He’s such a gentleman.”

“He is.”

“Has he ever kissed you?”

My face flamed, “no mama! At least…not on the lips.” I sounded more alarmed than I intended.

“Hands then?” She asked undeterred.

“Yes ma’am.”

I could tell she wanted more information but decided it was best not to pry. She smiled at me fondly, “I’m so happy.” She said and in her hazel eyes, I truly saw she meant it.

“Me too.”

That afternoon and evening, I labored for several hours over Paige’s knitting tools to make Danielle a scarf. Time bled together and I only stopped to go to the bathroom or indulge in David’s delicious ginger cookies. It was a meticulous but rewarding task and I listened to environmental music while I created. My imagination took me away into previous encounters with James while I worked. Love like sweet honey coated my soul like the glaze over a donut.

That night, mama surprised me with homemade chai tea latte. She even frothed the milk and sprinkled cinnamon on top.  Paige, Ginger, and Thomas helped themselves to a cup while Kendell settled for hot apple cider.

Mama enjoyed some herbal tea and before long David descended the stairs after an extra-long hot shower.

I was surprised to find him shirtless with nothing but his wool white long johns on, and some thick cotton socks. His ash brown hair was damp and locks of it stuck to his forehead. His skin was tanning nicely and was taking on a goldish shade. I had forgotten how muscular and lean he was. He was my brother and the only time I thought about those kinds of things was when I was wrestling him…and losing. His broad shoulders were set like armor above his washboard abs. His jaw was smooth from shaving which illuminated his handsome face. Despite his shower, his emerald eyes showed signs of weariness.

“Before anyone say’s anything. I apologize for the lack of clothing,” he announced with palms open and then turned to Paige, “where are we doing this thing?”

I looked at Paige curiously who seemed unable to answer his question.

Before she could speak he sighed, “don’t make me climb those stairs again.” He pointed a thumb behind him.

“Alright,” she lightly huffed and then removed some pillows off of the couch, “lay here.”

He collapsed chest down on the couch and turned his head to face us. Paige went to the kitchen and took a face towel out of a boiling pot of water with some tongs. She let it cool on the counter for a few minutes while she poured David a glass of water over some ice.

She put a powder mixture in it and then stirred with a spoon.

“Here you go,” she said handing it to him, “some electrolytes and vitamins to help you recover.”

He lifted his head lazily, “thanks.”

~For more stories like this. Check out my latest book, Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul (Pleasure that makes you whole)!

“Ashley your personal encounters have illuminated through these stories. They have reminded me of my personal relationship with my Savior Jesus. I used to have an empty seat at the table when I ate or fluff a pillow by mine when I went to bed.
I love the way you describe each person and each heart in your stories. Every one of these beautiful stories is heartfelt. Everyone of these stories carries a strong message. A message of love, a message of faith and a message of the importance of meeting Jesus right where we are. Thank you for the opportunity of being able to share my thoughts on your new upcoming book! May God come alive in each person who picks it up to read it, may God touch hearts and bring souls closer to Him.” –Ramona Trevino, Pastor, Author, Education Specialist and host of Blossoms of My Life radio show on KKMC 880

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Created for Heaven’s Blisses

The room changed and suddenly I was clothed in a scintillating white robe. Jesus stood beside me and we were on a beach. Gentle waves lapped the shore. The sand was a beautiful color and were almost as smooth as sheets on a bed. Mountains lush with vegetation stood like emerald diamonds along the shoreline. Tropical flowers and fruit glittered along the mountains like polychromatic gems. It was almost unbelievable beautiful. Everything here was made from peace, love, joy and righteousness. The Father’s Spirit was tangible in everything. The waves were like jade glass with aquamarine splashed inside. Every time a wave rose to meet the sun before lapping down a sweet laughter like wind flutes ticked the air.

“What are you feeling beloved?”

I saw everything yet it was like an invisible wall was around me preventing me from truly indulging in all the magnificence of the wonderful beach I was in.

When I didn’t respond Jesus responded for me.

“I created you to be surrounded by wonderful beauty. Your soul was created for heaven’s blisses.”

“I don’t feel like I belong.” I murmured.

I reached out and took Jesus’s hand. I felt like I would almost faint.

“No beauty is too great for you.” Jesus reassured me and held my hand, “nothing in all the world is lovelier than you. No sunset, no ocean, no natural wonder. The world is a gift to man… Ashley, we created you in our image.”

When He said “we” I knew He meant Abba and Holy Spirit as well.

“Well, yes but…”

“Do you think this place is too beautiful for me?”

“No,” was my immediate response. I knew nothing was too good for Jesus.

“I live in you.”

A small and unexpected gasp escaped my lips. A sense of worth came into my soul from my spirit.

Jesus knew and quoted Romans, “The Spirit bears testimony with your spirit that you are a daughter of God.”

I paused and gazed at my surroundings again, slowly spinning. Such beauty was so lavish I couldn’t imagine gulping it in…such wonder would cause my heart to burst from fatness (the profuseness of spiritual joy). Perhaps I could sip it in…and slowly allow my tongue to savor the taste.

“You are not a beggar my daughter, my Bride, my treasure…”

The sweet air intoxicated my imagination like shimmering translucent rainbows. The heavy scent of aged wine rose on the wings of the wind.

I felt the Presence of peace nearby me and reached my hand out, expanding my fingers as if to lace them around the Holy Spirit.

“Sweet friend,” I whispered, deep affection welling from the roots of my soul, like soaked soil, “I love you.”

I wished I could lean my head on His shoulder.

My sweet Friend.

…to be continued.

~For stories like these, check out my book Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul. May your heart be ushered into the deepest romance with Jesus.

“The stories in this book will invite you into a marriage relationship with Jesus showing you what it looks like to be loved without condemnation. Ashley brings you into personal conversations with the one who’s very name is Love. Sometimes life just gets so busy and I grow distant from the Lord that I don’t hear His gentle voice wooing me, calling me to His side. As I read this book, Jesus was reminding me of His great love for me, reminding me that He actually longed to spend time with me. If you are longing to know what it means to be loved and romanced by your creator, read this book and allow Jesus to romance you like only He can!” – Rachel Sklenicka, Licensed Minister, Graduate of CBC, Former Missionary to Russia

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Jesus in the Romance

~The sequel to Nobel and Trisha’s love story.

…Sarah turned on a sapphire blue speaker and attached her cell phone Bluetooth to it. Beautiful island worship music began playing and I felt as if I were on a black sanded beach next to lapping crystal waters. A chorus of singers synchronized in the background, complementing the main singer harmoniously.

After flipping on the coffee machine, I leaned my back against the island as Sarah started dicing up potatoes and mincing vegetables. She worked like a sous chef.

I felt admiration for her in my heart.

She sliced through some honeyed ham and turned her oven on preheat before taking some frozen buttermilk biscuits out.

“I feel bad just standing here while you work,” I confessed after several minutes of waiting for her to ask me to do something.

“Then you haven’t quite understood grace yet,” she said with a refreshing tone.

Her words caught me off guard and I didn’t respond for several seconds.

“I’m not sure where you’re coming from,” I admitted.

She smiled up at me, “it’s a pleasure to serve you Nobel. Being served should never cause you emotional discomfort. You have no guilty obligation to help me.”

I froze and felt a depth in her words that struck the bars of an imprisoned place in my heart.

Suddenly what was unconscious became conscious.

Sarah said no more and left me to my thinking while she worked.

I envisioned Jesus kneeling at my feet shirtless with a large clay bowl of hot water in his hands. Those large bronze hands had the rough callouses of a carpenter, yet they carried the tenderness of a healer. His wavy black onyx hair was dusted from the dirt of sandal and foot travel.

Dip your foot in friend.

I gulped loudly and felt a sting of religion beckon me to pull away.

No, let me wash your feet Jesus! I almost spoke the words in my head out loud.

I saw Him look up at me with those burning ember brown eyes that knew every inch and corner of my soul like the back of His hand. His was the dearest face in all the world to me.

He seemed pained at my response.

My love is crippled by your thinking He said, tears gathering behind His eyes. You won’t impress Sarah or Kris through your works… so don’t try.

I sucked in air and suddenly the vision was gone.

My palms were sweaty now and I tried to rub them on my pants without being noticed.

Sarah didn’t seem to care and cracked six eggs into a measuring cup before whisking them and adding in spices.

The sunlight behind her spilled into the kitchen and living room like blonde paint and caused her silhouette to glow in ethereal gold.

Sarah threw two spoonsful of minced garlic in a frying pan with olive oil.

My stomach began to feel pangs of hunger when she threw in some chopped onion and cut bell peppers. She finally added the potatoes and began stirring things around with a large wooden cooking spoon.

“You haven’t touched your coffee,” she said over a shoulder with a soft smile. It took me a second to register her words and respond correctly, “no I haven’t,” I said and caught a whiff of the strong, full bodied aroma, “but it sure smells wonderful.”

“We have vanilla, hazelnut or Irish creamer. I have to warn you the Irish one has a little liquor in it.”

I grinned more widely than I meant, “I don’t mind a little alcohol ma’am.”

She laughed at my expression and touched a hand to her heart, “oh good! I was hoping our customs wouldn’t offend you. We do live on a winery.”

I laughed with her, “I’ll take the Irish.”

With that statement, I headed for the fridge and sifted until I found the choice creamer.

I went for the upper cabinet and grabbed a ruby red mug. His Blood was printed in white cursive on the cup. I poured some coffee in.

Afterward I added the creamer.

Sarah opened the frozen biscuits and lined them in a pan before placing them in the preheated oven.

I sipped at my coffee and almost closed my eyes in gratification at the rich taste.

Several minutes passed and the biscuits were baking, the eggs were cooking on the stove and the potatoes were browning.

I wondered what was holding Trisha up and just as I was about to pick up polite conversation with Sarah, Trisha opened up the front door.

She was smiling brightly and exclaimed, “that was one of the most beautiful sunrises I have ever seen!”

She hastened toward me and put the pitcher on the island. I saw the pure bliss on her face.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it darling,” I said, taking joy at her pleasure.

She then thanked Sarah and told her, “I was romanced by the Lord the whole time I was out there!” She giggled like a school girl and Sarah joined in her glee.

“Don’t you just love it when He does that?”

The two of them started chatting fluidly and before long Trisha asked for an apron and joined Sarah in cooking.

They worked together as if they had been best friends since childhood. I stood back amazed and still felt a little awkward for standing back idly while they cooked.

When I was done with my coffee I headed back to living room and sat on the couch.

Guilty thoughts tried to press their way into my mind.

What will Kris think when he walks in and sees you sitting on the couch while his wife and your girlfriend slave away in the kitchen? Some minister he’ll think you are!

I shook my head and rejected the accusations that were coming my way. I recognized its dark origin and refused to heed.

I glanced at the women in the kitchen, laughing together and knew they were having a good time.

I tapped my pointer finger on my knee nervously. Lord what do I do now?

Nothing, came the gracious answer.

“Nothing…” I repeated quietly, “sounds like a plan,” I said with an amused chortle.

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, “okay Lord.”

Before long I heard the oven ding and then a strong male voice erupt in laughter, “now there’s the man of the hour!” Kris said chuckling deeply.

My eyes popped open and I began to stand.

Kris put a firm hand on my shoulder, “no please, sit!”

He swiveled around and joined me on the couch. I saw the tickling jest in his blue eyes.

He was wearing a white polo shirt, dark shorts, and Bryce lace up shoes. His summer blonde hair appeared paler in the sunlight.

“Good morning Kris,” I said, unsure of what tone to take.

“Morning, how’d you sleep?”

“Pretty good,” I answered and then shrugged honestly, “not as long as I’d like.”

“Well weren’t you drifting on the couch a second ago?” he quipped playfully.

I couldn’t help but chuckle, “no sir, anything but…”

Sarah came toward us with a cup of strong black coffee in her hand. She set in on a saucer in front of Kris and gave him a peck on the cheek, “thanks dear,” he responded and looked up at her fondly.

She returned to the kitchen and Kris took a slow sip.

“Nothing like straight black,” he praised and then patted my shoulder.

“You’re from Europe?” I asked.

“Why do you ask?”

I pursed my bottom lip slightly in thoughtful reflection, “well in my former career, I ran across people from different countries often enough. A lot of my male European counterparts liked their coffee pitch black.”

Kris lifted his brows, “what career was this?”

I dipped my chin, “I’d prefer not to say…sometimes I try to forget.”

I glanced at him from the corner of my eye and saw his unassuming visage. A feeling of peace from the Holy Spirit rose to my heart and I knew everything would be okay.

“I was a male model for a prestigious…company.”

Kris arched an eyebrow, “yes Thomas told us you had a scarlet past,” he said and then took a leisure sip of his coffee. I slightly cringed when I remembered the glamorous parties that were only started to sleep with fast women. Kris set down his cup and smiled in triumph, “the good news about scarlet pasts is that God uses them for his glory. There’s no greater transition than from blood red to milk white.”

I nodded, “I know that for sure. Everything in my life is different. I had no idea this level of joy and peace…and purpose was possible.”

I leaned back and couldn’t help but glance at Trisha, “I had no idea how tremendous the goodness of God was. He amazes me with how God He is…first to have Him and then to be given such good and perfect gifts from His hand.”

Kris followed my eyes, “ahhh, yes. I know what you mean. I cannot think of a greater treasure, a more perfect gift than my wife…”

We both remained silent for a moment in reverential awe.

My heartbeat quickened, “she’s truly perfect. A masterpiece”

Kris perked up, “He knows whose perfect for us…”

I nodded.

“The greater news is…He makes us perfect for Him.”

My eyes enlarged as I felt a swell of the love of God rise in my heart.

“Let the two become one,” I said quietly.

“It’s a mystery. Somehow we are the bride of Christ.” Kris said slowly shaking his head, “I still don’t understand it.”

“Neither do I,” I responded truthfully and then stroked my chin, “but I’m beginning to experience it.”

Kris studied my face intensely for a brief moment.

“Hmmm, and what does that look like?” He probed.

I remained silent for a few seconds, combing for the right word. When it came, I turned to Kris, “like union,” I said in a hoarse whisper.

My eyes went wet before I could control the tears. Love for God wrecked my heart.

Kris examined me quietly and I felt an opening between us. We connected without speaking.

Finally, I broke the silence, “I’ve been experiencing Him all morning. It’s different now. I don’t have to search scriptures for hours or go into a prayer closet and try to focus and not lose interest. I’ve surrendered everything to Him. He talks to me first. We converse more easily than I am with you. I feel Him in me, I sense what pleases and displeases Him and I try to comply with His inaudible wishes…”

I hadn’t realized that my voice was gruff with emotion until Kris’s changed visage caught my attention.

“You sound like a man in love.”

I nodded and wiped my eyes, slightly mortified by the unmanly tears and yet proud of them.

Kris sipped at his coffee and I could see the smile he tried to hide behind the cup’s rim.

“I suppose I am. Madly in love with Jesus. It’s an odd sort of thing in a way.”

~To follow the beginnings of Trisha and Nobel’s pure romance, you can purchase a copy of Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul. May you find the greater eternal romantic story of Jesus pursuing you weaved through its pages <3

“Ashley has a very talented gift of weaving words together that display tenderness, compassion and purity. Each story reveals the heart of Jesus towards His children. As you read each one you can see past the characters and feel the depth of Jesus’ heart, as well as the longing for a deeper relationship with Jesus inside yours.” -Everesta Hannon, prayer minister.