The world teaches the opposite of this. Almost every time I turn on the television or listen to a (secular) love song on the radio I hear and see the damaging way culture is training people to find gratification. People cling and grasp at others for fleshly fulfillment…but there is no gratifying the flesh. And such cycles only lead to hurting others or yourself in the name of “love.” We tend to seek wholeness in others because the Father built us for relationship. Aristotle summed this up wisely when he wrote, “it is the nature of desire not to be satisfied, and most men live only for the gratification of it.”
When I was 16 years old I was filled with the Holy Spirit. It was only until that moment that I began to receive the love of God (Romans 5:5). This love filled my heart like balmy, thick sap and flowed into the cracks of my broken places, brining the fragrance of Christ. It was truly a supernatural work, one that I could never do. I remember sitting in my high school journalism class next to my friend Hazel and feeling the Holy Spirit move in my heart. I began to scribble in my notebook and drew a picture of my soul. There was a Man inside cooking, then He began rearranging furniture, adding beautiful things and tending to a garden outside of a pleasant looking cottage. I could tell He was making himself comfortable inside of me. I turned to Hazel and showed her the drawing, “I see Jesus in me.”
Soon an amazing thing began to happen…I found fulfillment. This incredible peace came not because of popularity, or dating a boy, or because I had accomplished some great feat. It came because God was intimate with me. Slowly, He wooed me and there was such inner pleasure within me that I became almost unoffendable (if that’s a word). My soul was like a thousand rolling hills of purple lavender fields. The scents of His Presence was weighty and heady like wine. And I was stolen away into a place called the Kingdom of Heaven. There…He made a proposal and I accepted my identity and covenant in Christ.
God’s love is so deep, so wide, so comforting. I once described His eyes like bowls of cinnamon set on fire. He became everything and everything became nothing without Him. I loved others deeply, from my heart (1 Peter 1:22). I found everything the heart of man truly longs for in our Creator…who I found wasn’t distant and angry. He was my personal Friend, my Master, my Father & then He told me He was my husband (Isaiah 54:5).I married my now husband, Stephen McClelland as a virgin. I had never kissed anyone before him or dated anyone before him. But it wasn’t because I had a set of religious rules in front of me and worked hard to control my flesh. To be honest, I’m not that strong and that kind of method doesn’t work. Paul said it is good for our hearts to be strengthened by grace (Hebrews 13:9). Father set a feast of divine pleasure in my heart. It was heavenly pleasure that kept me away from sinful fleshly pleasure.
Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul, is a collection of tender short stories that Jesus used to romance my soul with pure intimacy. It was these sweet moments with Him that saved me from the traps that were set for me in my youth. I am so excited to be able to offer this book on amazon. You can check it out by clicking here.
My prayer for every man and women that reads this, is that they will be drenched in the warm love of God as if they were under a spiced waterfall. And that through this… they would fall in love with Him. There is no lasting fulfillment or rest for your soul until it is found in relationship with Him. abundant life begins with Him. The bread of peace is in His hand and He’s a generous Giver.
xoxo
“This book is simply wonderful. Deliciously descriptive, it nourishes the soul with fresh revelation of God’s love for humanity. This collection of short stories may challenge your thinking about what true intimacy looks like, while making your heart yearn to daily experience the Perfect Love described within its pages. It invites you into a world created by Love Himself, where there’s no mistaking that His love is not only unconditional and never-failing, but also deeply personal and precious to Him. Get ready to experience the purpose, pleasure, and power of real love!” -Danielle Sanders
It’s a faithful song with rays more golden than sunlight.
It’s the sweet singing of a bride awaiting her bridegroom.
This song twirls through the windpipes of heaven and strums from the stringed instruments of eternity.
It’s the beckoning smile of a beloved’s face.
It’s more melodious than birdsong in early Spring.
There is no deeper intimacy than sharing breath and body with this holy Lover.
He lives inside of my spirit and my heart pulses with the warmth of his presence even as I long for the tangible warmth of his physical skin. (John 1:14)
This holy Bridegroom who has stolen my heart and keeps it safe inside his chest as if I were within the lock and key of a vault.
His whispers enter my mind as He shares his thoughts with me.
They are always thoughts that bring me peace and life when the storms, troubles or worries of life are present.
His Holy Spirit kisses melt more sweetly than sugar on my hearts’ tongue. (Romans 5:5)
I crave His company more than all others.
I desire everything about Him.
No one from the outside looking in can truly understand or know this love without experiencing it.
This is the most faithful love, because it will never die.
This love has conquered death.
My heart is stirred by a noble theme as I recite my verses to the king; my tongue is the pen of a skillful writer. You are the most handsome of men; grace has anointed your lips, since God has blessed you forever. -Psalm 45:1-2 BSB
~This excerpt is taken from the revised version of my new book, Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul:
“I became a man just like you…except male and without sin. But make no mistake, my body was like unto yours.”
The scripture of David sweetened my mind like fine sugar—dusting my thoughts with saccharinity. Was this truly how David felt when he confessed that he wasfearfully and wonderfully made?
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you… —Psalm 139:14–16a MSG
“You were made for me and for my Father’s good pleasure,” Jesus said.
I gazed toward him and I saw he was looking out at the waves with me. His warm brown eyes aglow like amber by a fire drew me in. My breath caught and I was being lulled into him. Slowly and yet quickly I was sucked into him. Graced with wings I began to fly into his ocher eyes and soar upon the aromatic winds of his soul. Suddenly I was towering over lush, emerald-green mountains carpeted with jade spring grass. Polychromatic flowers like melted rainbows splashed across the mountains like glinting, colorful diamonds. The sky was more expansive than a thousand planets and stretched forth like gleaming still waters of opal blue. The clearness of it was like glass. Cumulus clouds formed puffy hills like burning peach marble and mirrored the hazy autumnal colors of the morning. Jesus’ eyes were more majestic than thousands of waterfalls brimming with translucent waves. In those eyes I saw eternity, and streets of shining gold like transpicuous fire. I beheld oceans of the most pristine blue. Foamy waves swelled, rose, and then splashed down, releasing whimsical laughter with each eye-catching crash. The heart of Jesus arrested me with beauty.
“Do you see it?” Jesus asked.
“Yes,” I barely managed to whisper.
Everything within him was full of life. All of creation seemed diffused with light from an otherworldly presence. Not only was it beautiful, it was alive. It wasn’t alive apart from him, but it was alive with him. It was as if his DNA was in the genetic makeup of everything. Creation took on a new form. It was cloaked with a brilliance that mirrored moonlight. There was a glow around the animals, the blue whales, the flimsy spiders’ webs, the fluttering butterflies, the legs of speeding cheetahs.
“Do you think that is amazing?” he asked.
I nodded. “More than I’ve realized. What did I just see Lord?”
“You saw a little taste of the restoration of all things. The glory in which creation dwelt before the fall—a glance at redemption—the way the Father and I originally intended the world to be: without sin, without killing, without sickness or disease and without fear. But full of my Father’s glory. This is what my Father will do again when he creates the new earth.”
The emancipated world was more breathtaking that I could have imagined. Passages from Isaiah 11 mirror the reality of the glorious goodness that await the redeemed sons and daughters of God.
I took a few thoughtful breaths for measure and tried to reimagine what I saw. I wanted to live in it now. Everything in my body pined for such a world.
“The world came through me. For by me were all things were made and I hold everything together.[i] The Holy Spirit, the One you call your best friend, saw what was in the Father’s heart before he spoke his Word out. For who can know the thoughts of man except the spirit that dwells within him?[ii] The same is true for God. The Spirit took what was in us and when he brooded over the waters, he gave power to the Word, to the heart of God. He went to work. He is the Father’s life-giving Spirit.”
“Wow,” I voiced quietly. An incoherent sound came from my lips as a new thought caused my eyebrows to lift.
“If you think what you’ve seen is amazing then imagine how amazing it was when we fulfilled the Father’s desire when he said, ‘Let us make man in our image and after our likeness.’”
My eyes flared open as a spark of light was seen in Jesus’ body. It was more brilliant than any light I had ever seen.
“You see, when God made the heavens and the earth, the Spirit gave life to his Word—Me—and creation was made the way God intended. But when God formed you and all of his children, he took from out of himself personally. He spoke to himself. He molded a child from the clay of the earth and breathed his Spirit into his child, Adam. Instead of just speaking out, he hand-formed Adam like a potter does with clay and breathed the breath of life into man until Adam became a living soul.[iii] And then he designed Adam in a way that was extremely special. He gave Adam the intellectual and emotional properties for a father-child relationship. This is what the soul of man was created for. By placing his Spirit in man, he put his inner thoughts and heart in man. This has always been our Father’s will. For an everlasting family relationship with man. This is why even after they sinned, Father pursued man. His plan has not changed. He still writes his law, his thoughts and heart, on the heart of men who come to him.[iv] He still gives his Holy Spirit in the new covenant. He has never stopped being good to man and he has made a way for the original relationship that he had with Adam and Eve to be the same for every man through my sacrifice.”
The way Jesus’ tone changed when he spoke Adam’s name alarmed me. There was a thickness and a weight when he breathed the name.
Clear trails began to gather in Jesus’ golden-brown eyes, shimmering like pools made of quartz. To my surprise he started to silently weep. The compassion in him was coming off like healing waves from a hot spring. The sweetness of it was like honey and the pained desire of it was almost devastating.
I remembered his tears when he agonized with moans from a breaking heart.
“Oh Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones God’s messengers! How often I wanted to gather your children together as a hen protects her chicks beneath her wings, but you wouldn’t let me!” —Matthew 23:37 NLT
In a split second, I felt the tiniest fraction of his deep compassion and longing for his sons and daughters. It was a sacrificial love, a love that laid everything down and spared no expense. I could hardly bare the strength of it.
“My dear, if you really knew how much my Father invested himself in you, you wouldn’t gape at creation the way you would gape at man. You would look in the mirror and never feel self-doubt again because you would know that I dwell within you. You saw a foretaste of redeemed creation in my eyes. The wonder of redeemed man through my eyes is infinitely better. Every man was made to be fully alive in me.”
~To purchase a copy of Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul, click here:
“As I read, I quickly became enthralled with this book, so beautifully written in the language of love. Each of these short stories so accurately reflects the romantic and wooing heart of the Bridegroom which draws you to Himself into a deeper place of love and intimacy. If you have not yet experienced romantic intimacy with God, I’m confident that this book will set you on course. It’s bound to warm your soul and whet your desire for your own heart-to-heart conversations and experiences with God. The author creatively ministers to the soul, bringing truth to light in the most tangible ways; you will feel that God is speaking directly to you, and He most certainly is! Some stories caused me to be drawn away into remembrance of my own experiences and conversations with God that have freed my soul; others caused me to reevaluate my heart’s commitment to my first Husband and cry out for forgiveness; and yet others simply took me on a delightful and exciting adventure of what the beginning of a holy, unadulterated love looks like – so refreshing to the soul! I commend the author for using her creative gifting to share personal reflections and heart intimacies which I know could only come from the deep well of Father’s heart. I highly recommend this book as a must read!” -Marina Garcia, Worship Leader
And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died for them and was raised again. So from now on we regard no one according to the flesh. Although we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away. Behold, the new has come!…2 Corinthians 5:15-17a BSB
His reality… is the only true reality.
Everything else is only smoke and mirrors.
I throw off my other identifications. I toss away my perceptions of reality. I consider my human accomplishments as dross and waste. I cast off the cards and boxes that the world has said define me. I throw away my woman-card, my black-card, my small business woman card, my middle class card, my Thompson card, my McClelland card, my Republican card, my Democratic card…all identifications must bow before the One who emptied Himself of heavens glories and His position to fill me. He died to define me.
He is Truth. Thus, He is Light. The Light of the world. Isaiah says He is SO glorious, so brilliant, so radiant that the sun and moon shall be ashamed of their light in comparison with His ! My mind is blown away when I think of the shame that the sun will feel!!! The light from the sun gives life to everything on earth! Think of it.. photosynthesis, warmth, heat, the ability to see.
But this Jesus! His light far surpasses the sun’s! John says that Light has already come into the world but men loved darkness instead of the Light. This Light isn’t like the suns. This Light is Truth…Truth that requires surrender and yieldedness of belief. This Light pierces through the darkness of human understanding, philosophy, logic and burns away all pride and rebellion. This Light shines in the center of the human heart like the sun shines in the center of the Milky Way. Everything within you must move around and yield to the gravitational pull of Jesus.
Some men didn’t even recognize the Light. But this Light was the Life of all men. And this Light lives in each believer! How could we let such pettiness like political differences, minimal doctrine differences, unforgiveness, hurts, etc, drown out the Truth! The Truth of who we are and Whom we belong to. There is a Truth that exists in heaven and this Truth has left us His Light.
There is a reality that exists in heaven that needs to come down to earth. He prayed, “your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” I choose to cast off the labels, the carnal humanism thinking that resists and rebels against God.
When you seek the Truth, there is only One whom you will find…His name is Jesus Christ
This is not self-realization or self-help.
This is self in Christ.
In Christ only.
Christ-reliance.
And all glory, all power, all authority is His!
Hallelujah!
For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed and heirs according to the promise.… Galatians 3:27-29a BSB
Thus by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be strongly encouraged. This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary. -Hebrews 6:18-19
A few days ago, I sat across from my grandmother while coddling Elena. I had an agenda for that afternoon, but my newborn was in the mood to cluster feed and so I was trapped on the couch. The forced stillness opened up a beautiful space in time for my grandmother to share some of the visions she’s had of Heaven.
“Tell me about heaven.” I asked, having nothing to do. As quiet worship music played in the background my grandmother told me of one of the times God showed her Heaven. Some of the things that really moved my heart was when she said:
“There are children in heaven. Every child that dies on earth goes there.
”“There is a wall of pure gold set with precious stones in an arch at the top…twelve gates. It’s so beautiful. Like nothing you’ve ever seen.”
“The flowers, trees and fruit there are so vibrant and the fruit is sweet, sweet and succulent.”
“God showed me how I would look in Heaven. I had on this white flowy dress and I had long hair and He told me “you will be young and beautiful forever.” My House was two story and it had a spiral staircase like pearls”
“There is no sadness, only joy. Just happiness. The streets are made of gold. It’s exactly as the Bible says it will be.”
As grandma talked, I saw her lips slowly curve upward into a blissful smile and remain that way. She was so happy. Her eyes seemed to twinkle. I laughed softly & said, “you look so happy.
”She told me she was very happy and that she was ready for heaven. I laughed and told her to wait a while longer before she goes. She replied, “my child, earth is a trash heap compared to heaven. I’m not afraid of dying. The angels will be waiting for me.”
I too shared a vision I had of Heaven and seeing God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. It’s amazing how similar our accounts were.
I’m so grateful for that moment in time where my one month old slowed down my fast pacing so that I could sit and talk with my grandmother. Since then, grandma and I have talked much more…only because I’ve relearned the value of sitting still and listening to (on a deeper level) the wonderful, anointed, caring and amazing woman, I call my grandmother.
As believers, we have an eternally beautiful life promise that will come to full brilliance like the break of sunshine after a long night. We have a hope more secure than the heaviest anchor. We have a treasure more rich than all the gold in the world. We will have, in every sense, His kingdom come, “on earth as it is in heaven.”
About a year after I wrote this, my grandma went home to be with Jesus. During her funeral a bright blue star streaked across the night sky. My sisters says it was the brightest star she ever saw. A few days later I came across a scripture verse where God says that his children shall be numerous like the stars of the heavens…
~A vivid snippet from the revised version of my book, Romantic Rendezvous for The Soul. May you come to understand and experience the rich and faithful love of Jesus as He dwells in His new glorious temple…your recreated heart. He will never leave you, He will never forsake you. He lives in you. (Colossians 1:27)
My beloved one, both handsome and winsome, you are pleasing beyond words. Our resting place is anointed and flourishing, like a green forest meadow bathed in light. Rafters of cedar branches are over our heads and balconies of pleasant-smelling pines. —Song of Solomon 1:16–17 TPT
He stood and extended his hand for me to take.
I felt like the woman caught in the act of adultery. Mercy washed over me in silky light, like the waves from his robe. He didn’t condemn me. There were no accusations. There was no stone in his hand. (John 8:11)
In fact, his hand seemed like an extension of his heart—promising to heal me even before I vowed to commit myself to him in the way he desired.
There was no cost for his healing. He freely offered to make me whole, with no hidden stipulations. Such grace empowered me and I felt my bones were stronger somehow. I felt like spring grass soaking in solar light from the sunshine of his presence within me. (Hebrews 13:9, 2 Corinthians 5:19)
The seeds within me pulsated with life. (Galatians 3:16, Luke 8:11)
I took his hand and he pulled me up to my feet. All the other guests in the room rose as well. Their presence was tangibly felt. They carried a weighty air about them that was holy and priestly. When they saw he meant to escort me away, they returned to their dancing.
Many things crossed my mind as Jesus and I crossed the dance floor into a more private corridor with a balcony view, namely I wondered why none of the saints pursued Jesus?
A banner hung from the room’s entryway. In Aramaic it read:
Strengthen me with raisin cakes, refresh me with apples, for I am weak with love. (Song of Songs 2:5)
The small elegant room featured a three-dimensional mural floor of a blooming vineyard blushing under a hazy sunset. The painting was so lifelike, even the dust kicked up in the air was illuminated like grated gold by the imaginary sunrays. The emerald leaves were silhouetted in basking glory and turned into a yellowish jade. Rows and rows of vines lacing around each other made me catch my breath.
Rosy marbled walls formed an arch in the center of the room before giving way to a chandelier that resembled a flourishing desert rose. Diamond-shaped light bulbs hung from the chandelier and sent shafts of prism light pirouetting across the walls. In the corner of the room was a large bed, hidden behind transparent curtains.
“It is lovely in here,” I breathed, admiring the splendor.
A lamp stand table made of polished gold held woven baskets with embroider cloths set beside them. Inside the baskets were marble bowls heaped with fresh fruit. The fragrance of ripe strawberries, dates, pomegranates, figs, and honey-painted cakes teased my nose. I saw blocks of cheese and nuts beside the fruit.
“Eat some,” Jesus offered, finally releasing my hand, “You haven’t eaten anything all night.”
…
I took a plump strawberry and popped it in my mouth. A refreshing, tart flavor with just the right amount of sugar burst in my mouth. I hummed in delight, imaging that only Eden carried such delectable fruits.
I took up another, and then another before trying a fig and a date. They were equally good but distinguishingly unique. I plopped several blocks of different colored cheese in my mouth until my cheeks swelled like a chipmunk’s. I had difficulty chewing but managed more easily after the first few bites. The rich flavors blended together like cream and salt. Afterward, I went for the nuts in handfuls. When I finished with those I took up a half slice of a pomegranate and plucked some seeds coated in red wine gel. I cupped my hand to my lips and let the seeds fall in before chewing. The tart taste reminded me of the best sherbet punch.
We ate for several more minutes before my appetite was satiated. Afterward, I felt the stickiness of dried fruit juices and honey on my hands. I rubbed my fingers together wondering how I would wash them.
“Is there a bathroom?” I asked.
“I have a jar of water and hyssop out here,” Jesus said, extending his hand toward the balcony.
We walked on the elevated porch, the sky canopied over us. I noticed a hard, blue clay pitcher in the corner. Beside it was a pink potted hyssop bush aflame with brilliant flowers, the color of nectarine skin.
I cupped my hands and Jesus poured some water between them before taking some flowers from the bush. He set them in my hands and I rubbed them together feverishly. He rinsed my hands again and I lightly dried my wet hands with an embroidered cloth beside the baskets. When I finished, I brought my hands to my nose and inhaled deeply the fragrant scent of hyssop plant. I took up the jar and poured water over Jesus’ hands. Afterward, I plucked up a few flowers before putting them in his hands. He repeated what I had done, and I fell silent.
I leaned my torso across the balcony and rested my head in one of my hands. Despite the snow that crested the mountains, I was warm. I looked out and admired the scenery before me. Everything seemed so expansive that I felt a little bit swallowed up in the grandeur of it all. I let my eyes linger over the glowing city, savoring the physical beauty of it like I savored the food I had eaten. Beauty fed my soul like nutritious food nourished my body. Jesus leaned his elbows on the railing of the balcony and also looked upon the terrain before us.
“How come nobody has come in here yet to seek you out?” I asked, finally voicing the question I had tucked away inside when he had whisked me away to the private room.
“What do you mean?” Jesus asked, unassuming.
I shrugged and then my eyebrows fell until they hovered over my eyes.
“Well, I’m just confused as to why we haven’t been crowded yet? I mean, didn’t you deal with that constantly after you began your ministry on earth?”
“I did.”
“So why, if these people know who you are, do they not love you?”
“They do.”
“But they aren’t trying to be near you?” I countered, slightly nonplussed.
“Because they know that I’m near them.”
“Even though you’re in here with me?”
“Yes. They understand that I live within them. That my promise is true. I will never leave them nor forsake them. They don’t need me to appear to them in this way in order for them to be content with me or with themselves. They converse with me all the time.” (ex: John 20:27)
My eyes fell to my cinnamon brown hands. An almost undetectable sense of failure came over me.
“They understand what I don’t fully comprehend,” I said lowly.
Just as quickly as the sense of failure had come, an inner quickening rose within me like a heater being turned on in the dead of winter. It came like a skilled soldier, swiftly combating the negativity that wanted to seize territory. I felt as if a seed had sprouted under the soil of my consciousness. Suddenly an assurance came up, and with it a loving caress that chased away all notions of shame.
I didn’t feel the need to compare myself to the couples on the dancefloor anymore. The precipitous change in my emotions puzzled and pleased me at the same time. I touched my stomach and easily discerned the presence of my Holy Friend (John 14:17).
I heard a soft chuckle from Jesus and refocused my attention on him.
“He’s amazing, isn’t he?” I asked, knowing the answer.
“He’s the Father’s gift to you and to all those sealed for me. You need not fear anything, beloved, not even death. Because of my Father’s Spirit, you will always be with us. He has sealed you forever and he isn’t going anywhere.” (Ephesians 1:!3)
“I think I know that now,” I said. Emotion caught in my throat. My mind traveled to precious instances in my past where the Holy Spirit had comforted and rescued me. There were many nights when I had cried myself to sleep on my bed and felt a warm arm around my heart.
“I love his faithfulness,” I whispered, and again touched my stomach, this time as if I were trying to embrace a friend.
“He will help you comprehend what the others understand. It’s his joy and delight to do so. He has much patience with you. There is peace in his mind toward you. You need never be frustrated with yourself, because it’s the opposite of how he feels about you.” (John 14:26, Hebrews 8:2)
I nodded and the breeze kicked up. The wind carried the fresh fragrance of spikenard, which diffused the air like a perfume bath. The dust of powdery snow lifted and swirled around in the breeze. A few frozen droplets touched my cheeks and I shivered. Some flakes of snow rested and then melted in my hair once the air stilled. I felt as if I had been touched by starlight.
“He would like to take you someplace as well,” Jesus said.
I reflected for a few seconds and then uttered, “Yes. I’m happy to go anywhere he wants me to.”
“Okay.”
Jesus turned toward me. I stood still as he placed his fingers on my temples. Instinctively, I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, anticipation building in me…
~I hope you enjoyed this preview of my revised version of Romantic Rendezvous for The Soul (Tasting the Bridegroom Love of Jesus). To purchase a copy of the 1st version, click here. As an author, the sincerest way anyone can thank me is through writing a review of my book(s) on amazon. If you’ve been blessed by my work, I would love to hear from you! Your review reaches out to other women and invites them into this ministry of words…and more importantly, into the tender love of Jesus inside the pages.
“Ashley Thompson’s Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul is simply wonderful. Deliciously descriptive, it nourishes the soul with fresh revelation of God’s love for humanity. This collection of short stories may challenge your thinking about what true intimacy looks like, while making your heart yearn to daily experience the Perfect Love described within its pages. Romantic Rendezvous invites you into a world created by Love Himself, where there’s no mistaking that His love for every individual is not only unconditional and never-failing, but also deeply personal and precious to Him. Get ready to experience the purpose, pleasure, and power of real love!” -Danielle Sanders, Worshiper, Songwriter, Licensed Minister, Former Highschool teacher
~For my book on returning to the liberating and strengthening grace of our heavenly Father, Visions of Celestial Love, click here.
“Ashley McClelland presents us with a true cornucopia of modern psalms, personal testimonies, and short stories. She has set out to reveal and unravel some of the most complex heart issues mankind faces in our quest of understanding what true intimacy with God really looks like. Prepare to have your soul massaged and worked on as you read Visions of Celestial Love.” — Jeremy Minard, Servant King Apparel
Blessings to you as you learn how to journey through this life walking closely with the truest Lover of your heart!
But the Helper (Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor—Counselor, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will help you remember everything that I have told you. -John 14:26 AMP
Have you ever struggled to sleep because you lacked peace inside your heart?
I understand.
Because I’m there right now…
It’s late at night and I’m awake when I should be asleep.
I’m up because my day has had a draining undertow of anxiety strung like spinning thread inside the veins that flow blood throughout my body. I’ve felt so rushed in daily choirs, and I haven’t stopped to tend to the real needs of my heart.
I’m up late because my two young daughters are finally asleep and I find it hard to focus on my soul and healing subjects when they are awake.
I’m up late because there are no demands in this moment and the neglected pain, inward desire and questions that I have for God are surfacing to the top of my conscious mind like the swelling of a wave.
I’m up.
I’m awake.
And unmet desire raps at the door of my soul again.
I now clearly hear the steady beating that has been happening all day, but now instead of deafening my ears to it, I choose to listen.
“What do you want?” I ask my soul, already knowing the answer.
When the great longing of my soul is seen, like an emaciated person reeling with hunger, I freeze. Feelings of powerlessness overwhelm me because I know I cannot fill the aching, (seemingly abysmal) void.
The cold reality of my human incapability and poverty makes me want to swing the door shut again on my hungry desire and pretend I never saw it. But I know such carelessness wouldn’t be innocuous. My mind battles what to do.
I would just as soon ignore it, except I know it will persist.
I would just squish it, except I know it to be immortal and incapable of death.
I think to squelch it again, under the dulling drug of busyness, but I know it will only make my heart sick and heart ailment is a disease I find I can’t bear. Besides this, the chronic state of an ailing heart usually leads to an addiction of some form (in my case…the chocolate pantry).
The need of The Comforter rises from within me like a child’s whimpering cry to the peak of my throat. I can almost taste the unshed tears at the back of my tongue.
“Holy Spirit,” I whisper, “Help me. I cannot help myself. Father God, I’m so hungry. I’m hungry for your promises. I’m thirsty for things I know are coming but they have not manifested in my life yet. I’m hungry to see my dreams become reality and trusting You in the waiting is hard. I know your Word says that by faith and patience we inherit the promises…but the waiting is such a battle of faith somedays. I’m hungry to see your goodness and your kingdom come in the lives of several friends and family members. I know You have a much more wonderful reality for them than what they are living in. I know You have so much more for me…”
As I talk to God and give Him myself and all the loved ones who are weighing on my heart, I feel calmer. My tight chest finally begins to relax as I “expose” my natural weakness to the most loving, capable Father.
My daughter Elena is asleep beside me in a small netted rocker with metal polls for legs. She breathes softly under a knitted blanket made with cool blue and green tones with white in between.
I think of her own soul and her need for comfort when she is tired and ready to sleep.
When Elena (her name means radiant light) is weary, she doesn’t whisper, she cries with a fury and fever that won’t be denied. She doesn’t hide her pain or her need, like I so often do. She doesn’t fear her desires won’t be met or that she’ll be scorned because of them.
No, she finds me with her eyes and her whole face screws up, her nose crinkles like discarded Christmas wrapping paper, her face flushes with rogue hues and she wails for attention until she is comforted. She trusts me to soothe her when she is exhausted or hungry or emotionally hurt. Because she trusts me, she makes her emotions known with candid, innocent clarity.
I can still see her, trying to crawl over a plush pillow and brush past an arresting assortment of colorful plastic toys around her. I laugh because I know the couch pillow, which is fairly small, might as well have been a hill to her small ten month frame and limited mobil agility. She crawled with frustrating effort around the toy obstacles that were bought for her pleasure and enjoyment.
I saw her and took pity on her. The moment she recognized I would pick her up, her wails quieted and she looked up at me with anticipated calm.
Once inside my arms, she nuzzled her nose into my right breast and covered the tender skin with a curled, chubby hand.
She mumbled and cooed softly as I cradled her while she nursed and within a few short minutes, she fell asleep.
Her soul had cried for help, and I came.
Not only had I comforted her by holding her, but I nourished her through the milk my body created…just for her.
Now, I find myself, crying as well. Only my Helper is Someone I cannot see and sometimes cannot feel, yet He has assured me He is always there.
I confess, it’s not always easy to rest in His arms. It’s not always been easy for me to receive the heavenly and healing comfort that is always available to me. Because sometimes, it’s hard for me to trust a spiritual Father when my body wants my five senses appeased with tangible proof.
Even when I intellectually know He is Truth, even when I acknowledge with my mind that He cannot lie and his word is more sure than the sun’s rising every morning…sometimes faith still seems like an obstacle. Sometimes faith seems like an obstruction (like the toys that surrounded Elena), rather than what it actually is, a great gift from my loving heavenly Father.
And I’m tempting to feel condemned for that. But I won’t allow myself to be. He has told me far too many times that He doesn’t condemn me (John 3:16-17).
How I sometimes wish I were like Elena, and when I cry, Jesus would appear in the flesh and scoop me up in his warm, safe, loving and powerful arms.
I confess this to Him, probably for the thousandth time, and like a good Friend, He listens patiently and compassionately as if it were the first time.
As I pour out the internal floodgates of turmoil that had been mercilessly churning and pricking inside me all day, I relax even more, My breaths deepen and become longer and steadier in the atmosphere of his celestial and curative grace.
I find my desires being pacified, like a baby suckling on their mother’s milk until their belly is full, in the presence of his comforting love.
It takes me a moment to realize, my hear rate has dramatically slowed down.
All the tormenting doubt is silent now.
I’ve been in his arms and I didn’t even realize it!
And he said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”-Exodus 33: 14
“The result of comfort is rest.” I felt the Holy Spirit say inside me.
I gazed at my daughter again, sound asleep, with no sign of distress on her placid, caramel colored visage.
Her rhymnthetic breathing is as sound and smooth as still crystal lake water. I watch the slow rise and fall of her small chest.
She is at peace.
She is resting because she had fallen asleep in the most secure place on earth to her, my arms.
She had drifted into subconsciousness under the shadow of my wings. The last thing she saw was the light of my face. My smile flamed like a life-giving image past her pupils and dove into her heart giving deep comforting, assurance to her soul. Her eyes fluttered closed, remembering my maternal smile and the love that inevitably poured through my eyes. Just like the sun stains my eyes when I stare at it too long so much so that even under my eyelids I can see embellishments of its sparkling orange and gold light invading the darkness, so my image branded Elena’s mind as she slept.
And through studying her, I realize, this is what the Holy Spirit has done for us. We can always have this sort of blessed assurance in our hearts. The light of God’s face is always shinning down on us in love. He is our Father, we are his beloved, precious children. Let Him hold you today and still your every fear. There is nothing He wants more, than to comfort you when you’re hurting :
Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, LORD. -Psalm 89: 15
Whoever rests in the shadow of the Most High God will be kept safe by the Mighty One. -Psalm 91:1 NIRV
Many ask, “Who can show us the good?” Shine the light of Your face upon us, O LORD. -Psalm 4:6
For it was not by their sword that they took the land; their arm did not bring them victory. It was by Your right hand, Your arm, and the light of Your face, because You favored them. -Psalm 44:3
May God be gracious to us and bless us, and cause His face to shine upon us, Selah. -Psalm 67:1
Restore us, O God, and cause Your face to shine upon us, that we may be saved. -Psalm 80:3
I pray the “intangible” arms of God are palpably felt by you today. I pray you experience the sort of divine comfort that always gives rest. May his loving countenance shine through and still every raging storm in your soul, giving you the answers you need. There is no safer, securer or more peaceful place on earth than in communion with God the Father.
~If you would like to experience emotionally life-giving and mind clearing sessions with God about your future goals in the safe presence of another, I do prayerful life-coaching with my clients. I would love to walk alongside Jesus in providing you with the Comfort, inspiration, wisdom and guidance you desire. Click here to fill out a questionnaire and receive a FREE life-coaching consultation call! The first few clients will receive a limited discounted price!
“Healing is impossible in loneliness; it is the opposite of loneliness. Conviviality is healing. To be healed we must come with all the other creatures to the feast of Creation.” (pg.99, “The Body and the Earth”) ― Wendell Berry, The Art of the Commonplace: The Agrarian Essays
“People use drugs, legal and illegal, because their lives are intolerably painful or dull. They hate their work and find no rest in their leisure. They are estranged from their families and their neighbors. It should tell us something that in healthy societies drug use is celebrative, convivial, and occasional, whereas among us it is lonely, shameful, and addictive. We need drugs, apparently, because we have lost each other.” ― Wendell Berry, The Art of the Commonplace: The Agrarian Essays
~For a beautiful song on the light of God’s face by Misty Edwards, click here. I do not own any rights to this music. This was one of the 1st worship songs I listened to as a new believer.
~For more devotions like this, check out my book, Visions of Celestial Love (a journey back to healing grace) on amazon!
God bless you. He loves you with all of his heart!
“Visions of Celestial Love is a book of inspiring quotes and beautiful prose about God’s unconditional love for mankind. The insights of this book help us to understand that it was the Father’s great love for us that made a way for us to have life together with His Son, Jesus Christ. Through it we get a glimpse into the true meaning of Christ’s sacrifice of love expressed through His death, burial and resurrection as God’s magnificent gift of grace to us. His blood made it possible for all those who put their faith in Him to have fellowship with His Father again.
I am confident that at the completion of this book, you will also seek after God with your whole heart and want to be in His presence forever.” —Alice Paige
~The head photo of my daughter Elena was taken by Ruthy Esquivel Photography.
One thing I have asked from the LORD, that I shall seek: That I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the LORD And to meditate in His temple. -Psalm 27:4
Father, I love your gentleness. The sweetness of your Presence is the healing balm to my heart. You are the perfect embrace and shelter for my heart. Your kindness is better than life. I taste You like the softest of fruits that melts into whip cream in my mouth. You are sugar within my soul. You are waves like air lapping at my feet, traveling like fragrant whimsical ripples from incense smoke around my ankles. You are softness. You are gentle love. You are romance in the best way. You are honey in the sun. You are like a cool, refreshing tropical breeze to the sweating, weary brow. You are my Romancer. My Bridegroom. My Daddy. My best Friend. My Master, and my Maker. My deepest conversations have been with You. You sing me to sleep with the music of your breaths and your stilling whispers. Your tangible arms are more pristine than peach and cream alabaster pillars. Your heart is like a fire that blazes and burns; like a warm campfire I long to linger near. I sit by your beating, consuming heart in a rocking chair and you sing over me—swaying me softly back and forth in your pleasure. I am most at home in You. You are my home. And I love the way You love me. Your love changes me. Your love transforms me…and I’m not the same. I’ll never be the same…so long as your love is before my eyes.
“Ashley McClelland presents us with a true cornucopia of modern psalms, personal testimonies, and short stories. She has set out to reveal and unravel some of the most complex heart issues mankind faces in our quest of understanding what true intimacy with God really looks like. Prepare to have your soul massaged and worked on as you read Visions of Celestial Love.” — Jeremy Minard, U.S Navy, Minister, Founder of Servant King Apparel
Right now, I just want a pumpkin spice latte (with real pumpkin puree), an electric blanket and my authoring buddy…my laptop. I’m thankful I have at least one of those.
It’s an
early crisp morning in October. My favorite season has come. Autumn. As the
weather cools my soul becomes warm in the glow of this solstice. It’s as if my
heart catches on to the last rays of sunshine like a candle being lit by a
match. I long to unearth the scents that make up my being as a candle does when
it is flamed. The perfume of Christ in me mingles with my own recreated heart
like clove and cinnamon in a coffee shop. I am perfumed with joy and peace.
Like the deciduous leaves that radiate ruby red, tangy
orange and honey yellow, I realize that even in death, there is life. Fall has
amazed me with its paradoxical differences: death, life, richness, reserve, copiousness,
and hibernation.
For farmers, this is the season of reaping everything they’ve sown. It’s a season of abundance, like the day before the Sabbath for them…they gather double what they need (Leviticus 25). I always imagine the husbandry wiping their perspiring foreheads with broad smiles on their bronzed faces. All the labor and work they put in has paid off. Now is their time of holy jubilee. Profuseness that produces rest. I look at Fall this way too.
Except for the trees, Fall is the time to release the leaves that absorbed sunshine for them. Fall is the season to shed their beautiful garments in one last glimmering bang. As their cloaks transform into sunny hued tones, they drift away from their once secure branches. Fall is the season for storing, preserving and releasing all unnecessary weights. It’s a transitional time.
I love the way the leaves rustle and then float away in the frigid
breeze. Wafts of something celestial awakens my heart even as I crunch my boots
on the quilted patterned earth.
This Fall brings me the soft reminder that because of Jesus’s death, I have new life. Because He emptied Himself of His divinity and became a man (Philippians 2:7), I have been graced with the Holy Spirit (Heaven’s presence in me). The trees begin to look like gnarled crosses to my hazel eyes. The leaves on the ground become a showmanship of all the false and flashy garments of works-righteousness that I used to wear. I learn to let go of self-effort and embrace the rugged cross. My heart sees the cross as the beginning place of birth. One life was exchanged for another. And I’ve heard from Messianic Jews that Jesus was known to be crucified in Autumn…not in winter (how factual this is, I’m not sure).
May this Fall bring you the sweet potency of Christ’s eternal love and sacrifice for you. May this Fall bring an abundance of life in your heart (John 10:10) even as you die to the lies of religion that shielded your nakedness and shame. God’s love will cloak you in new light and new birth. There is nothing like releasing our burdens to Him, only to have Him give us weightless life and freedom. May your soul be wrapped in the garments of heaven’s pure joy and the sugary water of hope. Like trees trust in their leaves to photosynthesis…. I pray you trust in the true sunshine of Christ to produce the food of peace in your mind and heart.
~If you were blessed by this blog, you will probably enjoy my book Visions of Celestial Love. You can find more about it on my Books page, or on amazon. God bless you!
It had been a full week, packed with blessings, and I needed a break. The blessings of Daddy God were overtaking me and following me everywhere I went, yet in the midst of the bustling of everyday life I longed for a restful therapeutic evening alone with Him.
“I know what you want.” The still whisper in my spirit sounded like a kiss to my heart.
“I want a date night with You,” I breathed, and made some warm black tea with vanilla cream and honey.
My feet felt every thread of carpet that blanketed the wooden floors. Making my way to my room I closed the sandy drapes for an intimate dimming effect. Snuggling the pillows I sat down on my bed and started up a movie.
“Jesus,” I called longingly, “I’m here waiting.”
“So
am I.”
There You were before me, eyes rich with oceans of love, yet gently warm like the crackling of a small fire. You sat next to me on the bed and rubbed my back before cradling me in Your arms. I laid my legs across Your legs and rested my head on Your chest.
“My beautiful sister, friend, and beloved bride,” You spoke, feeding my heart with words of life and encouragement.
Your rich tone changed, and I knewYou were talking to my soul, going deeper into the depths of me. “Sshhh, shh,shh. Peace…be still. I lead you beside the still, quiet, restful waters. I restore you, I’ve lead you in the paths of righteousness. Peace I leave with you. Receive it, I’ve given it and want you to have it. It delights my heart to do you good, to see you happy, whole, restful…peaceful. Let my Spirit flow to you…”
I shifted and You squeezed me tenderly, “Open up beloved, allow Me to flow my life into you…sozo you…and make you well.”
I melted into your arms and my body conformed in yours, spilling over You like water over river rocks. I breathed deeply of the scents in the fabric of your shirt and allowed the Holy Spirit to flow into me. A loving mist overshadowed me, and then rivers of life began to flow in every unhealed part of my emotions, memory, and understanding.
I sighed, my breath a tremble. My lips quivered and You secured me more tightly.
“You know…some of my brethren think it’s harder to fight…but I say it is harder to rest. To trust yourself entirely to another. To allow Me to protect you. To allow Me to love you unconditionally from start to finish. It takes more strength to relax…and this cannot be done by will power. It’s something you have to allow my Spirit to do in you and for you. It’s another area of surrender.”
I shifted again and mentally decided to go limp in your arms but You read through it.
“Your body is relaxed…but how is your heart?”
I didn’t answer. Feeling within myself, I sensed some walls remained up in fear.
“I love you perfectly. I will always love you perfectly…perfectly and completely. Please…let my love in, and all walls of fear will come down, for my perfect love casts out all fear. Let Me protect you. Let Me make your soul feel safe and sound. I want so badly for you to receive my blessings, beloved…even more than you are. Rest with Me. Stay with Me,” You pressed Your cheek against mine.
“Let Me love you to life, give you my hope that does not disappoint, fulfill your dreams. I want to do these things beloved. I want to bless you immeasurably. Your only job is to trust Me by resting in my love, my promises, my finished work on the cross, and even that is done by the Spirit. I love to be good to you. I only want to be good to you.”
P.S: I wrote this devotional from a date experience with Jesus, weeks after my faith trek to Colorado for Charis Bible College. It would be the longest time that I had ever been away from my family and California. Little did I know how deeply Jesus would enrich my life with wonderful friendships, marriage, a baby and miracles. My first year at Bible college was like living in a blissful dream…where all my needs were met by my Heavenly Father and where the beauty of my surroundings captivated my heart.
This devotional was taken from my recently published book Visions of Celestial Love. You can purchase a copy by clicking here.
There is no lasting fulfillment or rest for your soul until it is found in relationship with Him. abundant life begins with Him. The bread of peace is in His hand and He’s a generous Giver.
