Right now, I just want a pumpkin spice latte (with real pumpkin puree), an electric blanket and my authoring buddy…my laptop. I’m thankful I have at least one of those.
It’s an
early crisp morning in October. My favorite season has come. Autumn. As the
weather cools my soul becomes warm in the glow of this solstice. It’s as if my
heart catches on to the last rays of sunshine like a candle being lit by a
match. I long to unearth the scents that make up my being as a candle does when
it is flamed. The perfume of Christ in me mingles with my own recreated heart
like clove and cinnamon in a coffee shop. I am perfumed with joy and peace.
Like the deciduous leaves that radiate ruby red, tangy
orange and honey yellow, I realize that even in death, there is life. Fall has
amazed me with its paradoxical differences: death, life, richness, reserve, copiousness,
and hibernation.
For farmers, this is the season of reaping everything they’ve sown. It’s a season of abundance, like the day before the Sabbath for them…they gather double what they need (Leviticus 25). I always imagine the husbandry wiping their perspiring foreheads with broad smiles on their bronzed faces. All the labor and work they put in has paid off. Now is their time of holy jubilee. Profuseness that produces rest. I look at Fall this way too.
Except for the trees, Fall is the time to release the leaves that absorbed sunshine for them. Fall is the season to shed their beautiful garments in one last glimmering bang. As their cloaks transform into sunny hued tones, they drift away from their once secure branches. Fall is the season for storing, preserving and releasing all unnecessary weights. It’s a transitional time.
I love the way the leaves rustle and then float away in the frigid
breeze. Wafts of something celestial awakens my heart even as I crunch my boots
on the quilted patterned earth.
This Fall brings me the soft reminder that because of Jesus’s death, I have new life. Because He emptied Himself of His divinity and became a man (Philippians 2:7), I have been graced with the Holy Spirit (Heaven’s presence in me). The trees begin to look like gnarled crosses to my hazel eyes. The leaves on the ground become a showmanship of all the false and flashy garments of works-righteousness that I used to wear. I learn to let go of self-effort and embrace the rugged cross. My heart sees the cross as the beginning place of birth. One life was exchanged for another. And I’ve heard from Messianic Jews that Jesus was known to be crucified in Autumn…not in winter (how factual this is, I’m not sure).
May this Fall bring you the sweet potency of Christ’s eternal love and sacrifice for you. May this Fall bring an abundance of life in your heart (John 10:10) even as you die to the lies of religion that shielded your nakedness and shame. God’s love will cloak you in new light and new birth. There is nothing like releasing our burdens to Him, only to have Him give us weightless life and freedom. May your soul be wrapped in the garments of heaven’s pure joy and the sugary water of hope. Like trees trust in their leaves to photosynthesis…. I pray you trust in the true sunshine of Christ to produce the food of peace in your mind and heart.
~If you were blessed by this blog, you will probably enjoy my book Visions of Celestial Love. You can find more about it on my Books page, or on amazon. God bless you!
It’s amazing when you know Someone loves you so much that even death can’t do you part….
…only Jesus
I’ve been realizing and experiencing the reality that I will never be alone another second of my life. This truth has been like a blanket of incense around my heart and wells of living peace bubbling up from the depths of me. xoxo
This Man is becoming the singular desire of my eyes, the One my heart flies freely into. This intimacy is intertwined so intricately and completely that I can’t separate my identity from Him. Where does He start? Where do I end? I look up and I see that I am swallowed by His affectionate heartbeat. I am beginning to taste Heaven even while I’m on earth. Heaven is Him, the Father and the Holy Spirit.
For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God – Colossians 3:3
“I and the Father are one.” -Jesus in John 10:30
The only true and saving source of love is found on calvary…where Jesus died to His life so we can be reborn and have His life in us. Such love that the Father GAVE the closest thing to His heart! For you and me! He never withholds His affection, He never withholds His goodness! He never withdraws His grace.
I pray He leads you relationally to that sweet place of abiding. May you see and recognize His faithful presence with you always. His love surrounds you. He paid everything He could, so you could be with Him forever. Such love!
~If you enjoyed this devotional, you might want to check out my book Visions of Celestial Love. It’s filled with poems, devotionals and short stories meant to draw your heart closer to Jesus. <3
And if you had only known what this statement means, ‘I desire compassion [for those in distress], and not [animal] sacrifice,’ you would not have condemned the innocent. -Jesus in Matthew 12:7 AMP
When your child is sick, it’s easy to feel like your faith is crumbling around you. I faced one of the biggest scares of my life one early dark morning when my daughter seized up in her crib. She had been physically struggling after receiving a vaccination and she’d become extremely feverish. My heart melted like butter when I saw the cloudiness in her grey eyes and heard the sharp cry of pain that came only seconds before her body began twitching uncontrollably. Her harrowing cry was like a knife to my heart. She was just barely one. I lifted her light body out of the crib and sat her on the bed next to my husband, “wake up!” I sobbed. Eden crumpled up and jerked involuntarily. She didn’t recognize my face or my voice for almost half an hour. Panic came in like a thief in the night and after her rushed trip to the ER (filled with shots and medical scans) she was sent home. My family and I spent days around the clock watching her.
And for days none of the treatment that she had received at the ER seemed to be holding up. Her state was alarmingly erratic. During those tiresome days of attending to her meticulously, I felt the stony weight of condemnation in my soul. Like a rock attempting to divide the roots of my faith…or a hungered weed, attempting to steal the scared places in my heart that only belonged to God. This “feeling” of condemnation came to uproot a little bit of my security in the love of God (Song of Solomon 1:15).
You see, I know it’s hard when the pains of life come unexpectedly. Whenever we go through slicing pain, it can be tempting to harden our hearts in disbelief concerning God’s Word or His nature. The devil doesn’t come donned in an obvious cloak of black and red with a pitchfork. No, he comes with the subtlety of religious philosophy that longs to poison our confidence in Christ and our identity in Him (it only takes a little yeast to leaven the whole loaf Matthew 16:6). He comes to incriminate us and God in our ears. Our “un-graced” mindsets, flare up like crimson algae creating a red tide in the ocean of our conscious. Accusations pop up like smokey fumes. This flare reveals the hidden places of self-blame and shame in us. It unearths the places of self-righteousness that naturally reject grace and denounce the true nature of God. What was in the dark, comes to light when we give in to fear.
For several hours I cried out to God with self-loathing because when I prayed for my daughter, nothing seemed to happen. I had lost touch with the purity of the gospel in those moments of panic (Romans 1:16). When I had prayed for Eden, I was secretly doing it out of self-effort instead of trusting in God’s all consuming grace (Galatians 3:1-2). I was really trusting in my own strength. more than that, I was trusting in my animal sacrifices (holy lifestyle) to earn the healing of God. I was cheapening the gift of faith-righteousness for my own brand of works-righteousness. I was defaming the sacrifice of Jesus for my own sacrifice. (Condemnation is a very slippery and clandestine slope…but I promise you it only comes when we take our eyes off of Jesus for our right-standing with God and put ourselves in His place Romans 5:1).
One morning I woke up to the misty scents of God’s mercy. He came quickly to rescue and reconcile my heart to His love. I realize that throughout all the trails in my life… that it is vitally important to always connect to the Father’s undying love in the midst of the storm. God woke me up to mercy. He showed me His beauty and deep care. In doing so, He effortlessly removed the stone of doubt and guilt that was seeking to grip land in my soul. I felt His love in those moments like fragrant ointment being poured on my skin and shortly after, because of His grace, Eden was divinely healed. She made a full recovery in less than 24 hours. Once I was empowered by His love to receive the truth of His mercy, I was able to breathe in confidence and faith came out like a sighing exhale.
I want to encourage you, that if you can’t get your faith to “work” during a crisis or difficult situation, to not allow condemnation to sneak its way into your soul. Resist all notions of guilt. God’s miracle is not based on your ability to be good enough but on Jesus being your substitute (He is your goodness before the Father). I pray that you will be strengthened by the incredible love of God for you and His immense and glorious grace that is freely given in Christ Jesus. Healing is never earned, deliverance is never earned, salvation is never earned. It’s only by the love of God through Jesus and our faith in that, that we receive His goodness. May you find the simplicity of the Gospel to be sweet salvation in all of your circumstances.
The miracle of that mercy-filled morning for me was not my daughter’s healing. It was that my soul became so captivated with the mercy of God even when the symptoms were still present, that I worshiped despite the circumstances. I adored Him and the fear so disappeared that I forgot all concern for my daughter. His love for me and my daughter surpassed my love for her, my love for myself and my love for Him.
This poem was birthed through intimacy with God during that tender morning:
Relationship with Him looks like mercy–like deep sweet waters perfumed with grace. This grace is heady, like the whiff of strong aged wine. It is as intoxicating as fragrant floral hills bathed in rainbow colored flowers.
You are as beautiful as Tizrah my God, lovely as Jerusalem my Father, more awesome than an army with bright banners my Husband.
You melt my soul with your eyes of deep love and care. Your compassionate heart soothes my inner worries.
Your very Presence is a vaporous mist vaster than the mountainous clouds that sheet the amazon rainforests.
You are light and beauty.
Water and wine.
You are Living Bread…the substance that makes me whole.
I am enraptured by You.
Romanced by Who You are.
Captivated by your tresses.
I am smitten to my inner core.
I find I am threaded into You by your divine hand. A three fold cord is not easily broken.
You share your heartbeat with me and my eyes are fascinated by You.
I feast at the table in your soul and your banner over me is undying love.
~A short story about forgiveness, written from the perspective of an unfaithful, ambitious husband
“Sharon,” I mumbled as I slipped in and out of
consciousness.
“Rose,” I heard a sweet voice reply. My eyes slurred beneath my eyelids. Rose of Sharon, I thought wistfully, remembering Song of Solomon. It was her intimate name…the name I had called her when we consummated our marriage. The smell of vaporous pear butter soothed my senses. My body was sweaty and achy. Pain licked up my back as I tried to shift.
“Shhh, rest now,” the soft voice
said. My eyes were crusted close.
“I want to see,” I groaned,
pleading inside for sight. I heard shuffling in the room and a shaft of light
moved—curtains were being drawn back.
“I know,” Sharon replied, tears
coating her voice, “I’ve prayed for you to see
for years now.” Her uttered words were like a palpable force leaving me
wondering how deeply I had hurt her.
A tea kettle whistled and for a moment I could sense her peaceful presence no more. Water was being poured. Moaning weakly, I felt for her with my hands, craving the comfort of her touch. She drew by my side and took hold of my hand. Her supple fingers were smooth like running cream. She lightly caressed my fingertips before she intertwined her hand in mine. She sat beside me and plush lips moist with tears met my perspiring forehead.
“You’ve been in the dark too long,”
she whispered.
She released my hand, dipped hers
in a bowl of oiled water and gently rubbed her thumbs across my eyes. I
breathed deeply as the scent of frankincense and myrrh created an aromatic fog
around my face.
“It’s anointing oil,” Sharon
soothed.
My eyes fluttered open and the golden sunlight pouring in from the window almost blinded me. Translucent curtains waved as a fresh breeze seeped in from the cracked windowsill.
My eyes squinted as Sharon dipped a floral towel in the steaming water. It was the same towel she had worked on for weeks. I had called it a “rag” in the past—considering it drab and ugly. Only now could I see the delicate detail she had put in it. Bright red apples danced like rubies across the cloth.
Sharon smiled tenderly at me as she carefully wiped the sweat from my brow and dabbed my neck and chest with the towel. I relaxed as she worked, feeling a healing presence gently warm my body through her fingertips. For a moment, the sunlight formed a halo behind her silhouette.
Why was she doing this?
I had walked out on her and fully intended to take all of our marital assets, given time. If it hadn’t been for that potentially fatal car accident last week, that temporarily had me bedridden, I would have done so by now. I knew how to swindle the system well—banking, no greed, had taught me that. Greed for wealth had made me a cunning swindler…a breaker of her heart.
The words she had oft spoken to me
came back, “Love is patient…it keeps no record of wrongs…God’s love in us
does not fail.”
I peered at her. Her eyes were like the richest cinnamon glinting with flecks of amber. Her glossy raspberry lips and cheeks were awash with tears. I could see the trail of them on her chin and neck. She moved to massage my scalp when I caught her wrist. A small gasp escaped her lips and she stared at me.
I’m sorry. The words burned to escape my throat.
I only looked back at her. My jaw clenched and my eyes twitched.
Why couldn’t I say it?
What held me back?
Her beatific eyes rained rivers of love on me and something in my heart broke free like water crashing against a dam.
“Why?!” I wept brokenly, surprised
to find myself crying.
“Because God’s love never fails.”
My eyes widened as the empyrean light behind her became a Man. Like a balmy song, a cherubic voice spoke in the air, “I’ve prayed for you to see for years now.”
“Ashley presents us with a true cornucopia of modern psalms, personal testimonies, and short stories. She has set out to reveal and unravel some of the most complex heart issues mankind faces in our quest of understanding what true intimacy with God really looks like. Prepare to have your soul massaged and worked on as you read Visions of Celestial Love.” — Jeremy Minard, Founder of Servant King Apparel, Active U.S Navy
~A short allegoric story charting my journey back to grace. Like Jesus told parables to make heaven’s kingdom more relatable to his culture, I like to use short “fictional” stories to roadmap inner realities of my relationship with Jesus. I pray the Holy Spirit uses this story to minister healing grace to a deep place in your soul. Taken from my book Visions of Celestial Love
Shianne was having a hard time falling asleep. Gentle snow
sprinkled down outside like the dust of white gold. She shivered underneath her
fuzzy blue covers not from lack of physical warmth, but because of the cold
memories that enveloped her dreams…her thoughts, her every moment.
She listened to the symphony of snores that came from the other children. All lay peacefully in pools of silky sheets and puffy quilts. She cuddled her knees and her subconscious pushed through, revisiting scenes of the abuses she’d suffered.
Suddenly she wasn’t in the safety
of Jesus’s home; she was in the sweat shop scrabbling to mix mud together for
bricks. Her tormenting taskmasters wore the guise of foster parents. There was
the mistress, the headmistress and her fake father. Each exemplified cruelty in
their own unique way. The head mistress was never pleased with what she did.
She’d yell at her, look disdainfully upon her and reminded her that she wasn’t
good enough. She acted as condemnation.
Her fake father would approve of
her, but only when she served him without fault. He loved her performance, not
her heart—and that perhaps was the most damaging. He acted as law without mercy.
The other mistress would execute
judgment on her whenever the head mistress and her fake father were displeased.
She acted as the tormentor.
Shianne could remember cold beatings
in the night of winter. She remembered the small rations of food they gave her.
She remembered the bruises she bore, still unhealed. Her life was a cycle of
hopeless misery and endless work until a kind Man with deeply warm eyes came
upon her and paid for her. He’d caught sight of her on the street, knee deep in
snow and shivering. He’d brought her a warm bowl of soup and warm water.
“Here,” He said softly, His breath
was the tenderness of a thousand hearths. He placed the bowl in her hands and
untied His long scarf before draping it over her shivering shoulders. “Would
you like to come home with Me, My child?”
Slipping into a state of
unconsciousness, Shianne nodded her head before the gentle Man cupped her in His
arms and tugged His arms around her. Her head lay peacefully on His shoulder
and He whispered, “I’ll take care of you from now on. You’re Mine now. You’re
home.”
When she awoke, Shianne was in a
big four-story house filled with kids. They were all taken off the streets. Was
this an orphanage?
Jesus greeted her and kissed her on
the forehead. “Good morning, princess. Welcome to the House of Grace. This is
your home from now on.”
Grace? She wondered. Every day the
kids played freely in grace, they took piano lessons by the grand fireplace, read
books in the library hall, went to class, were fed delicious meals, and had
their cuddles with Jesus in the morning and before bed. Angels would attend the
children; they worked for Jesus. Everything in the grace house was perfect. It
seemed too good to be true.
One night when Shianne was
trembling in bed from another nightmare, Jesus scooted behind her in bed and
wrapped His arms around her chest. In the safety of His arms Shianne began to
cry audibly. He formed His body around her little one and the warmth from His
heart entered into her soul.
“I love you, I love you, I love
you,” He kept repeating.
Whenever she was behaved badly at
the school, had troubles, didn’t understand a question, or had an issue, Jesus
always said the same thing, “I love you…I love you…I love you.”
She wondered at Him all the time.
He was always so gracious, so kind, so sweet, so loving, so beautiful. He never
gave her what she deserved. Everything was a gift.
And the house she lived in—this Grace
House—seemed to accommodate everything she desired. It was almost as if the
house was alive. The carpet was softer than fur, the walls were perfectly
painted, and sometimes, when Shianne squinted, it almost looked like it was
made out of moving lights, so still yet so fast that it appeared solid. Jesus
told her that the Holy Spirit was the life force of the house. He was in the
air, the walls, the floor—everywhere.
The food was perfect, and her body
that had once been limp and sickly was now full and warm. Her apple cheeks
flushed with color and her hair, once thin, was now as thick as straw. She
hardly recognized herself.
Outside the drifting snow had
stilled, leaving the city glowing with a blanket of snow. Shianne’s eyes
blinked as she tried to organize her thoughts. Finally she slipped out of bed.
The carpet glowed blue wherever she stepped. It was like star dust, a perfect
opal.
Not wanting to wake up the other
kids, who slept peacefully, she softly rebuked, “No, not now!” The carpet
instinctively stopped. “Thank you,” she whispered and felt the soft furs of the
carpet tickle her bare feet as a way of saying “you’re welcome.”
Whereas once she would have been
afraid, Shianne smiled and headed out the door. Nimbly closing the door behind
her Shianne, wandered the halls. Everything in the house was still, yet living.
It was almost surreal. Each room held a different fragrance of love for her
young heart.
She could always tell when she was getting closer to Jesus. Her heart would begin glowing with warmth and then burning like she was in a hot spring of the soul. The scents of love in the house would increase…the walls would light up in polychromatic show and angelic voices would sing in jubilant and melodious tune, like an invisible choir. As if…all creation sang whenever He was around. A tangible peace would coat her like a mist; it was a feeling sweeter than honey.
Her heart wanted Jesus as she thought about Him, and she breathed into the air, “I want You.” “I want You more.” Shianne gasped and stopped. She felt her chest, patted different areas. It was almost like an audible voice spoke from her heart. It wasn’t her voice, but the voice that was gentler than a thousand hearths. “Jesus?” She wondered out loud. “I’m always with you loved one. Yet I wait for you to come to Me.” Still a little bit stunned Shianne voiced,“I want to see You tonight.” “I’m waiting in the library.” The voice sounded happy, pleased that she was opening up her heart, learning to trust in His love.
Quickening her step Shianne headed
to the library, but as she got closer she slowed down. Old memories of her days
of living in the House of Law tried to surface, fear knocked to be welcomed in
again. It tried to separate her from trusting Jesus, from drawing near to Him
in a heart relaxed with love.
It growled and sneered, “He’s just like me…just like the law without the spirit of mercy. Do you really think you can trust Him? That He’s safe? That He’ll protect you…love you unconditionally? He’s disappointed in you. You have to work to please Him. Go back.”
Just when her heart began to give
into panic, the scent of pumpkin bread spiced with nutmeg almost overwhelmed
her. The walls began to glow a translucent desert pink, honey-bee yellow,
sparkling lavender, and emerald green. The songs of angels filled the halls
like the wafts of air licked with the wine of an endless floral field. She felt
warm gentle waters inside her chest. Her eyes lit up as she saw the door to the
library. A joy unspeakable welled inside her soul as she thought about seeing
Jesus. Her steps quickened again.
Shianne arrived at the door and
peeked inside. The fireplace was burning inside; gentle crackling and popping
noises sounded. The pearl carpet glowed with hues of yellow from the flames.
Wooden book shelves tall as the ceiling were filled with books. Little desks
circled a big desk, where the Teacher taught. Paintings lined the walls,
pictures of heaven made with vibrant oil paint. Teddy bears, along with other
stuffed animals, decorated the circle carpet. Palm branches stood on the sides
of the hearth and vines climbed the walls with pink flowers. Shianne’s heart
began to burn when she saw Jesus. He was sitting and reading a book. He looked
so peaceful, so restful. He was the very image of love to her.
He leaned His head on an arm and
had one leg folded over the other in a chair. His elbow rested on his leg. He
wore a white-collar shirt with a maple brown sweater vest. He also had black
dress pants. His shoes were kicked off but He kept His socks on. He was nothing
grand to look at…but there was a river, a presence on the inside of Him that
flowed out, encompassing Him in beauty that was alive. He was Man, but also
Spirit. The Spirit inside of Him, His true self, flowed through the pores of
the skin He wore in unstoppable kindness, compassion, love, mercy, healing and
wisdom. Jesus seemed to sense her and smiled with His eyes as He looked up.
He put down the book on the floor
by His chair. His eyes were like cinnamon gleaming with flecks of amber. The
firelight illuminated His frame. Love poured from His frame.
“Hello, my little love,” He said,
all the joy of heaven flowing from His lips and visage.
He smiled brightly and opened up
His arms. Shianne found herself running into those arms and being swept up into
His lap. He ducked His head down and nuzzled her shoulder with His chin. Cheek
brushed against cheek and Shianne felt the Holy Spirit in wave after wave of
peace and tender love wash over her.
The air became colorful and the
sound of music from angelic voices erupted.
“They’re singing over You,” Shianne
said.
“No, my little darling, I’m singing
over you,” Jesus whispered.
Shianne’s eyes widened. Jesus
explained still holding her close, “This is My love song to you. You make My
heart sing. I made creation and you are made in my image. I love you, and
creation responds to My love for you. Our bond makes the earth and heavens
sing.”
The words sunk in the bedrock of
Shianne’s heart. She felt them go deep into the soil of her being. Seeds of
life that Jesus’s love would nurture. He held unto her for a long time, and
kissed her forehead a few times.
“You’re a good little girl,” He
said before leaning back. His arms relaxed their hold on her, without letting
go. His hands were tied and laid on her legs.
“You’re perfect and holy in My
eyes. You are a reflection of all My affections; nothing can separate you from My
love.”
Shianne’s young eyes welled with
tears at His tender words. She wanted to believe Him…but she couldn’t reconcile
the voices of law she sometimes heard and His abundant healing grace. She bit
and chewed on her bottom lip, licking it a few times. Jesus felt her small body
begin to squirm in His arms, He assured her by gently rubbing her back. After
twittling with her fingers for a few seconds Shianne mustered up her strength,
“But what about the voices?”
Jesus leaned in closely until her
back pressed into His chest. He spoke softly, “Those are nightmares beloved,
dreams, shadows, only memories. They aren’t real. I have defeated them
outwardly. Now only the echoes of their memory remain in your head. Let My
loving truth drown them out.”
“They feel real,” she murmured
tears welling up.
“He will never hurt you or have you
again as long as you remain in this Grace House. The only real reason why it
feels real is because he’s affected your emotions. But it’s not real. The
longer you stay here the more your mind will be refreshed by the knowledge of My
grace and truth. As this happens your emotions will continually be healed until
the river of life that’s in you floods you and touches the world around you.
Once you’ve grown fully in grace, you’ll be an adult. It is good for the heart
to be established by grace.”
Shianne relaxed in Jesus’s arms and
smiled, “All I have to do is stay here?”
He nodded with an equally tender
smiled, “Yes, and continue to eat and drink of My goodness and loving-kindness.
That’s all you have to do. Enjoy Me, enjoy your brothers and sisters. Be filled
with love and love will fill your character. Your soul will be transformed by My
grace and truth. Shianne, everything is provided for you here. In Me, in My grace
you have everything. Stay here and abide in Me and you will not only be free
physically, but you will experience my salvation in your soul and walk in the
fullness of the freedom that I have already given you. My Shianne, I love you
more than you understand right now and I will never stop loving you, dear one.”
Feeling the assurance of His love
Shianne leaned her lips into His cheek and gave Jesus a short kiss. Jesus’s
eyes welled with tears of happiness and He cupped her face and kissed her on
the forehead. As she studied His face Shianne realized that her one little kiss
filled Him with such joy; she could see the gleam of it in His eyes. His love
was so pure and gentle and true and protective. She’d never known what it was
like to have a Big Brother, but He was the perfect One.
“Now, little lass, are you ready
for bed again?” Jesus asked her.
She nodded her head and wrapped her
arms around His neck as He rose. He began to walk down the hall and Shianne
could still hear the angels’ music. She couldn’t see them, but their whimsical
lullaby spoke to her of love everlasting and grace never ending. Jesus’s arms
spoke to her of safety and trust. Soon her open eyes began to flutter, until
she closed them and began to drift to sleep. She felt Jesus place her in bed
and then tuck her in.
He put His hands on her chest and
prayed, “Father, thank You that You have given me this little one. And what You
give me will never be lost. I pray for her heart. That it would continue to
grow in grace and be enlightened by Your love for her and who she truly is—a
princess destined to be a queen, the one that You love, the apple of Your eye
and Your precious creation. I speak peace to her.”
For a moment Shianne felt like she was floating on a cloud somewhere where the sun never set, in a land where the streets shone like gold. She glimpsed Heaven and felt the pleasure of her heavenly Father for her. It was like nothing she had ever experienced before.
“Come, all you are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me and eat wha tis good, and you will delight in the richest of fare.” – Isaiah 55:1-2 NIV
Are you ready to taste of the sweet delicacies of God in a deeply reviving and personal way? For those who want to drink, for those who want to eat and be refreshed and renewed, Visions of Celestial Love is a feast between you and the King of Heaven, who loves you more than anyone else. He invites you to dine on wholesome, good, savory food and delicious, zesty, fruitful drink. He awaits you with a sparkle in His eye. He is ready for your company. He delights to have you as a guest.
“Eat, friends, and drink; drink your fill of love.” – Song of Songs 5:1 NIV
“Ashley presents us with a true cornucopia of modern psalms, personal testimonies, and short stories. She has set out to reveal and unravel some of the most complex heart issues mankind faces in our quest of understanding what true intimacy with God really looks like. Prepare to have your soul massaged and worked on as you read Visions of Celestial Love.” — Jeremy Minard, Servant King Apparel
~To purchase a copy of my book, click here. May you be greatly blessed and encouraged!
Do not be carried away by all kinds of strange teachings, for it is good for the heart to be strengthened by grace and not by foods of no value to those devoted to them. -Hebrews 13:9 BSB
For we who have believed (adhered to and trusted in and relied on God) do enter that rest in accordance with His declaration that those [who did not believe] should not enter when He said, As I swore in My wrath, They shall not enter My rest; and this He said although [His] works had been completed and prepared [and waiting for all who would believe] from the foundation of the world. —Hebrews 4:3 AMPC
Pause, and think calmly about those words.
Something about this scripture
jumped out at me, and I have not myself to thank, nor my own intelligence, but
the Holy Spirit. He’s the Life in the Word. The One who makes it living and
active. Without Him, reading God’s Word is like reading another book—and there
is hardly anything sadder than that. Do you see the word “works” in here?
Whose work, is it? It’s God’s.
Our only job, the one that we’ve
always had, even in the old covenant, is to believe.
The same is true today, underneath
the righteousness, blood, grace, and work of Christ.
Believing secures our rest. The
rest God ordained for us to have before the foundations of the world. The rest
of relationship.
Let’s continue reading about rest
in Hebrews:
Again He sets a definite day, [a new] Today, [and
gives another opportunity of securing that rest] saying through David after so
long a time in the words already quoted, Today if you would hear His voice and
when you hear it, do not harden your hearts. [This mention of a rest was not a
reference to their entering into Canaan.] For if Joshua had given them rest, He
[God] would not speak afterward about another day.
—Hebrews 4:7–8 AMPC
Think again for a moment. Before
you read on, ask the Holy Spirit to help you grasp what this means.
I believe that entering God’s rest
was more important than receiving the promised land. I believe it was more
important than the Israelites entering into Canaan or even crossing over the
Jordan to obtain the promise of land.
God was more interested in His
people having relationship with Him. God’s always been more about the internal
soul and the spiritual than He is about physical possessions.
Once again, ask the Holy Spirit to
reveal to you the meaning of these scriptures; He might give you more
information, more insight than He’s given me here.
Perhaps the purpose of them
entering the land was for them to enter into rest. The only way to that was
belief. Trusting faith. A heart that knows God, knows He’s good, and knows His
nature. A heart that knows His thoughts toward us, and more specifically you.
He’s a giver. Always has been,
always will be. His nature does not change. He’s the same yesterday, today, and
forevermore.
So then, there is still awaiting a full and complete
Sabbath-rest reserved for the [true] people of God; For he who has once entered
[God’s] rest also has eased from [the weariness and pain] of human labors, just
as God rested from those labors peculiarly His own.
—Hebrews 4:9–10 AMPC
There is such beautiful promise in
here.
Aren’t you tired of working? Of
striving?
There is a sanctified striving that
should exist in every believer of Jesus Christ, but it is often perverted.
We’re not striving to be accepted
by God, or acceptable to Him. Our works, our striving will never get us that.
Our striving should be out of rest, in a place of absolute peace. Done from
joy, and with joy. Done out of love, in love, and through love. This cannot be
done without belief. Our works shouldn’t even really feel like work.
Wanting to know our Jesus, wanting
to be like Him, should be a part of our nature, as getting food or water to
drink is when we’re hungry or thirsty. It should be a daily activity. It should
be a mental domain, an internal setting.
When I asked if you were tired of
working, I was talking about the working you see being done every day.
I mean look around you. Look at
your loved ones. Look at the strangers on the street. The college students. The
moms, the dads of our society just trying to pay the bills, fix ourselves and
squeeze whatever joy we can out of life as if we’ve got a dried lemon in our
hands that we keep trying to wring out.
I bet you hear the words “busy,”
or/and, “tired,” come out their mouths when you ask them how they’re doing.
If they don’t say it, you can see
it, or at least detect it. Can you detect it in yourself? It doesn’t belong
there if you can.
Once again, our only work is to
believe. Believe God can change us, believe God loves us as we are, and believe
we don’t even have to perfect our faith. That is Jesus’s job. He is after all called
“the pioneer and perfecter of faith”
(Hebrews 12:2 NIV, italics added).
The Amplified Bible even goes as far
as to describe Jesus’s perfecting of us—calling Him our faith’s finisher. The
word says He brings it to “maturity and perfection” (Hebrews 6:1 AMP, italics
added).
There is no room for guilt, shame,
or condemnation in rest. Let me tell you something about guilt, shame, and
condemnation (I’ve just struggled with it this morning, and the Holy Spirit
lifted it off of me), it only comes out of an attitude, a heart, of works. It
only comes when our own efforts fail, or are frustrated. It all comes out of
our works.
God called us to work, not to
works.
There is a natural work in the
human life. There’s cooking, cleaning, etc., that needs to be done. If you’re
on the prayer team at church, or have a God-ordained “job,” then yes,
physically you are working. But there should never be a lack of peace inside.
When there is, you have started works within.
God’s “jobs” for us are always a
delight, and always for our good, and the good of the body. And God is always
about balance, not burning yourself out, and not being sluggish or slothful
either. Furthermore, I want to point out that “feeling” guilt or shame or
condemnation is evil. I’m not calling you evil. I imagine that you’re in Jesus
Christ, especially if you’re reading this, thus you are imputed with His
righteousness.
I’m calling the act of holding onto
(not letting go of) guilt, shame, and condemnation evil. The act is evil—a sin.
And the Word of God declares it so. It is either done in an act of unbelief, or
pride disguised as holiness. Listen to this,
Let us all come forward and draw near with true
(honest and sincere) hearts in unqualified assurance and absolute conviction
engendered by faith (by that leaning of the entire human personality on God in
absolute trust and confidence in His power, wisdom, and goodness), having our
hearts sprinkled and purified from a guilty (evil) conscience and our bodies
cleansed with pure water.
— Hebrews 10:22 AMPC
Do you know why guilt is evil?
Because it doubts the power of the blood of Jesus to free us from sin. It
doubts the overwhelming strength of the mercies and grace of God. It
disbelieves His very love.
This is so powerful. This is a
reverential truth that will set you free if you believe. The Holy Spirit
convicts us, He never condemns us. And God doesn’t condemn man. God condemns
man’s sin.
Those who choose to attach
themselves to sin, instead of God, through Christ Jesus, have chosen to attach
themselves to the thing that God condemns.
God’s heart is good. Jesus has paid
the price of sin, and the weight and power of it.
I like what Joyce Meyer says. She
says that she believes the power and the weight of sin is guilt, shame, and condemnation.
Hear the words of the Lord through
His faithful apostle,
Whereas this One [Christ], after He had offered a
single sacrifice for our sins [that shall avail] for all time, sat down at the
right hand of God. For by a single offering He has forever completely cleansed
and perfected those who are consecrated and made holy.
— Hebrews 10:12 AMPC
Jesus has done it.
I also want to point out to you the
word “made.” The Holy Spirit just pointed this out to me (how I love His
company and Presence). We can try to make ourselves holy, or we can be made holy.
We are made holy by grace through
faith. We are saved by grace through faith. The key word here is grace. Not
even faith is the key word. I’ll tell you why: Faith is graced to us.
Isn’t it God who appoints to us the
measure of faith (Romans 12:3)? And remember that everything God gives us is a
gift (James 1:17 AMPC). Gifts come free.
Isn’t it God who called us through
His Holy Spirit to come to Him to receive His grace that we may be saved (see
John 6:44)?
If we truly know that we are
forgiven completely, accepted fully, and made perfect by Jesus, then we will
have peace. And we’ll have something to get excited and stirred up for.
Entering God’s rest is not without the exertion, or perhaps better stated, the exercising of belief. The growing of belief only comes by grace.
Let us therefore be zealous and exert ourselves and
strive diligently to enter that rest [of God, to know and experience it for
ourselves], that no one may fall or perish by the same kind of unbelief and
disobedience [into which those in the wilderness fell].
— Hebrews 4:11 AMPC
Once again, the Holy Spirit opened
my eyes to something here. If we are trying to do God’s job in us or outside of
us by working, our faith will wither away and, as this verse implies, it will
“perish by…unbelief.”
Ultimately, working to “help God
out” is an act of unbelief and it shows a lack of confidence in Him. The more
we practice working, the more we feed unbelief. The more we stray from God. The
more hopeless we become that He will ever come through for us.
God works through faith. Indeed, if
we are working, thus acting out of unbelief and disobedience to His command to
believe, then the power and glory of God that we so desperately want to see in
our lives will never manifest. Or it is highly unlikely that it will manifest.
I say that because Saul didn’t
believe on Christ Jesus, but Jesus still met him on His way to Damascus. After
that encounter, I say, He fully believed on Jesus, or strived after it
ardently.
Many Christians who strive, seem to
strive not to believe. Or at least they feed their unbelief by rehearsing their
doubts, either verbally to others or mentally to themselves. Instead of
striving to not believe, strive and fight to believe. Fight the good fight of
faith (1 Timothy 6:12 NASB). Lastly, I want to quote a wonderful passage from a
book that I’ve found very helpful on my faith journey. In The Book of Healing, John Reynolds writes:
They came
to Jesus and said, “What must we do that we might work the works of God?” Jesus
said to them, “This is the work of God that you might believe on Him Who He has
sent.” They didn’t ask Him what to do to get saved, they asked about doing the
works of God. Jesus said, “Believe on Me.”
Jesus has done all that is necessary for us to receive from God.
“Father, I have finished the works you gavest me to do.” How many of us are
trying to “work the works of God?” Jesus overcame every temptation. “He was
tempted in every way as we are, yet without sin, let us therefore come boldly
before the throne of grace that we [may] receive mercy and find grace to help.”
The throne of what? The throne of GRACE. Stop trying to “work the works.” Stop
trying to “work” for your healing, your present. Stop confessing the Scriptures
with the attitude of trying to “make” something happen. “For it is the Fathers
GOOD pleasure” to give it to you! The price has been paid by Jesus. Go and
freely receive from Him based upon His grace.
Yes, it is important to know and quote the scriptures but don’t do it from the “I’m going to make this happen” attitude but rather from a heart attitude of “Father, I thank you for what Jesus did for me at Calvary when he bore my sickness and carried my pain. Father, I ask you to heal my body based on your grace and I thank you for it now in Jesus’s name.” Then just give thanks that your prayers have been heard and answered and act your faith.[
Our fight in life is simply this:
to believe on the One God has sent. And belief, faith itself, grows best in
rest.
[i] John Reynolds, The Book of Healing: How to Receive Healing
from the Lord Jesus Christ (John Reynold Ministries, 2012), 44. Scripture
references from John 6:28–29; Luke 12:32, version unknown. PDF available at
http://www.thehealingministry.com/.
It had been a full week, packed with blessings, and I needed a break. The blessings of Daddy God were overtaking me and following me everywhere I went, yet in the midst of the bustling of everyday life I longed for a restful therapeutic evening alone with Him.
“I know what you want.” The still whisper in my spirit sounded like a kiss to my heart.
“I want a date night with You,” I breathed, and made some warm black tea with vanilla cream and honey.
My feet felt every thread of carpet that blanketed the wooden floors. Making my way to my room I closed the sandy drapes for an intimate dimming effect. Snuggling the pillows I sat down on my bed and started up a movie.
“Jesus,” I called longingly, “I’m here waiting.”
“So
am I.”
There You were before me, eyes rich with oceans of love, yet gently warm like the crackling of a small fire. You sat next to me on the bed and rubbed my back before cradling me in Your arms. I laid my legs across Your legs and rested my head on Your chest.
“My beautiful sister, friend, and beloved bride,” You spoke, feeding my heart with words of life and encouragement.
Your rich tone changed, and I knewYou were talking to my soul, going deeper into the depths of me. “Sshhh, shh,shh. Peace…be still. I lead you beside the still, quiet, restful waters. I restore you, I’ve lead you in the paths of righteousness. Peace I leave with you. Receive it, I’ve given it and want you to have it. It delights my heart to do you good, to see you happy, whole, restful…peaceful. Let my Spirit flow to you…”
I shifted and You squeezed me tenderly, “Open up beloved, allow Me to flow my life into you…sozo you…and make you well.”
I melted into your arms and my body conformed in yours, spilling over You like water over river rocks. I breathed deeply of the scents in the fabric of your shirt and allowed the Holy Spirit to flow into me. A loving mist overshadowed me, and then rivers of life began to flow in every unhealed part of my emotions, memory, and understanding.
I sighed, my breath a tremble. My lips quivered and You secured me more tightly.
“You know…some of my brethren think it’s harder to fight…but I say it is harder to rest. To trust yourself entirely to another. To allow Me to protect you. To allow Me to love you unconditionally from start to finish. It takes more strength to relax…and this cannot be done by will power. It’s something you have to allow my Spirit to do in you and for you. It’s another area of surrender.”
I shifted again and mentally decided to go limp in your arms but You read through it.
“Your body is relaxed…but how is your heart?”
I didn’t answer. Feeling within myself, I sensed some walls remained up in fear.
“I love you perfectly. I will always love you perfectly…perfectly and completely. Please…let my love in, and all walls of fear will come down, for my perfect love casts out all fear. Let Me protect you. Let Me make your soul feel safe and sound. I want so badly for you to receive my blessings, beloved…even more than you are. Rest with Me. Stay with Me,” You pressed Your cheek against mine.
“Let Me love you to life, give you my hope that does not disappoint, fulfill your dreams. I want to do these things beloved. I want to bless you immeasurably. Your only job is to trust Me by resting in my love, my promises, my finished work on the cross, and even that is done by the Spirit. I love to be good to you. I only want to be good to you.”
P.S: I wrote this devotional from a date experience with Jesus, weeks after my faith trek to Colorado for Charis Bible College. It would be the longest time that I had ever been away from my family and California. Little did I know how deeply Jesus would enrich my life with wonderful friendships, marriage, a baby and miracles. My first year at Bible college was like living in a blissful dream…where all my needs were met by my Heavenly Father and where the beauty of my surroundings captivated my heart.
This devotional was taken from my recently published book Visions of Celestial Love. You can purchase a copy by clicking here.
