Then God said, “Let Us (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) make man in Our image, according to Our likeness… -Genesis 1:26 AMP
And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. –Genesis 2:7
How precious do you believe you are to God?
Every single one of us are so loved by God. He has, does and will love us with everlasting love. In his eternal wisdom and mercy, He planned our salvation and our admission into his heavenly family.
Recently Jesus showed me that when He released his last breath and gave up his spirit on the cross…that it was like God (Triune) breathing breath into Adam’s/my/our body and then Adam becoming a living soul…a son of God.
We have become children of God by putting our trust in what Jesus accomplished on the cross. (1 John 3:1)
There is so much wonder in the what Jesus did on the cross. There is so much love and so much grace.
I felt like Father told me that He has never stopped looking for Adam. He looks for Adam in unbelievers today. He lovingly searches for them so He can breathe his Spirit breath into them like He did for us.
He has never stopped wanting mankind to live in fellowship with Him in a heavenly place (once called Eden), now called the Kingdom of Heaven which is near us and in us by his Holy Spirit. (Romans 14:17)
Like He breathed into Adam…He breathes his Spirit, his love, his very life into us.
There’s more glory and love from God that He wants you to experience and receive…there’s so much more .
The Father’s love is boundless.
His plan is eternal.
His wisdom is magnificent.
I hope you continually increase in the experiential knowledge of his amazing love for you. He had you in his mind before time began. (Romans 8:29)
Father God has your face imprinted on the palm of his hand (Isaiah 49:16 AMP). I know it’s tradition for some people to tattoo the names or faces of loved ones on their bodies. God has shown his love in yet another way, by putting your face on his palm. And while I’m not sure if this looks exactly like our human example of a “tattoo” it does mean that you are “ever before” Him. He is mindful of you.
Jesus displayed the greatest love, in giving his life on the cross for you. (John 15:13) . And He bears the marks of his love for you on his wrists.
When Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, He yielded up His spirit. At that moment the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth quaked and the rocks were split.… -Matthew 27:50-51
If you would like a compilation of words on the Father’s eternal love for you, check out my book, Visions of Celestial Love, by clicking here. It is filled with the things Father has shown me. His love for you is deep. He woos you with transformative grace, steadfast compassion and cleansing truth
“Ashley Thompson’s book, Visions of Celestial Love is just that; a visionary work of epic proportions. It is glimpses into a loving and remarkable relationship with the creator of the universe.
You are invited to Dive into stories of love and compassion, healing and provision, loss and recovery, profound grace and faith. Ashley draws us in with her descriptive prose and unique style of writing.
There are so many stories to relate to in this book and I’m sure you will find your own story among the many that are told here. So, find your favorite spot, your favorite beverage, and curl up with “Visions of Celestial Love”!” –Amazon Reviewer.
So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” -Romans 8:15 NLT
It took me a while to call God my Abba Father. Like most Christians that I’ve meet, I mentally acknowledged that He was my Father and I would even attribute that title to Him in my prayers…but I did not know Him in the sweet, warm and assuring way a child knows a loving father. I would not have run into his arms like a little girl would do if her father came home and bent a knee so he could scoop her up.
Thankfully, over the years God has slowly, patiently, tenderly and steadily ushered me into the safety of his arms. Years ago I was sitting on my sister’s couch in her room and I was looking up at the ceiling as I talked to God. I began thanking him for adopting me into His Family. I thought I was doing pretty good with my thanksgiving…I thought I understood his love and the whole adoption thing, but I didn’t discern the depths of his affection…so He stopped me. “Ashley,” He said, “you were always my child.” After He said that, I realized, He always meant to adopt me. In His heart, I was always His. This is true of you. He always loved you as a child.
Years after that I was reading the book of Hosea and God began writing poetry to me. I heard Him whisper inside my heart, “you are a reflection of all my affections.” The instances where his love has caught me off guard and wooed were so numerous that I finally began to allow my soul to marinate in the anointed, fragrant waters of his heart.
I’ve learned that it’s okay to call Him “Daddy” even when I’ve messed up. I’ve learned to lean into his warm chest and relax at his touch. I’ve learned that He just wants me…no strings attached. There’s no need to fear that his love will ever let go.
Like Hosea, He chases me even when I’ve been unfaithful and I finally stop trembling for fear of Him but I tremble at his goodness: But afterward the people will return and devote themselves to the LORD their God and to David’s descendant, their king. In the last days, they will tremble in awe of the LORD and of his goodness. -Hosea 3:5
I melt from the fire of devotion that blazes in His eyes.
One night as I lay in bed…my pillow wet with tears as familiar condemning thoughts sought to uproot what He had planted in my heart (the seeds of His faithful devotion to me), I thought I saw a glimpse of Him at the foot of my bed. His eyes wet like rivers and verse after verse flowed over me like warm spiced waves:
“How can I ever give you up? My heart recoils within me. My compassion’s are kindled together!” -Hosea 11:8.
I realized it hurt Him deeply that I doubted his devotion. I realized it pained Him that I was in pain (Hebrews 4:15). This realization of his steadfast and faithful love toward me produced such trust and personal love for him in my heart. This personal love for him became the sweetest source of peace for me as I drew close to him with my heart. I finally rested in his arms and I soon began to worship him with my soul.
And so He became the Lover of my soul, my God, my Father, my Friend…everything that I trust. My resting place. My secure Rock. My King and the only One that I bow down to in reverence. So for love of him, I’ve learned to love his truth, his righteous ways, his eternal Word. Love has captivated my heart forever.
I pray that no matter what season of life you’re in right now, that you would allow yourself to be deeply loved. I pray all your days will be swept up in the arms of your heavenly Daddy. His arms are the safest place you will ever be. His devotion and affection for you is undying, pure, powerful, healing and faithful. May your world be lite with his love more than the sun’s rays lights this planet.
~For a book on discovering the divine love of God, check out devotional book, Visions of Celestial Love. May your heart be blessed with eternal words of beauty, grace and peace:
“Ashley presents us with a true cornucopia of modern psalms, personal testimonies, and short stories. She has set out to reveal and unravel some of the most complex heart issues mankind faces in our quest of understanding what true intimacy with God really looks like. Prepare to have your soul massaged and worked on as you read Visions of Celestial Love.” — Jeremy Minard, Servant King Apparel
There’s a scripture that says clouds of thick darkness surround Him. Lightning goes before Him and consumes His foes. He veils his brightness like the rain clouds veil the sun . (Psalm 97:2-3)
Yesterday I saw rays of sunshine pierce through thick castles of pearly white and silvery grey clouds still echoing with the weighty blessing of another promising downpour. I couldn’t help but be captivated and try and stare at the shafts of brilliant gold, fiery light that had escaped the clouds…even though it hurt my eyes to stare.
I think this is why God sometimes covers Himself.
I am reminded of when God visited Israel on mount Sinai and thick dark fiery clouds descended as the mountain trembled and the people, not knowing His goodness and love cowered when they saw a part of His beaming glory. (Exodus 34:6)
I want to be like Moses and climb the mountain, unafraid of the fire and beauty and splendor of His majesty because I know, while no man can see God and live…I know I have already died because I’ve seen Him.in Jesus. (Exodus 33: 20)
“If you’ve seen Me, you’ve seen the Father.” (John 14:9)
And His light, power, presence is my home.
I hope my recent thoughts on this rainy week blesses you as much as it did me…may our faces shine like Moses and even more so may our hearts shine like the Son of righteousness because we are His. And we can taste and see that He is good. (Psalm 34:8)
The world teaches the opposite of this. Almost every time I turn on the television or listen to a (secular) love song on the radio I hear and see the damaging way culture is training people to find gratification. People cling and grasp at others for fleshly fulfillment…but there is no gratifying the flesh. And such cycles only lead to hurting others or yourself in the name of “love.” We tend to seek wholeness in others because the Father built us for relationship. Aristotle summed this up wisely when he wrote, “it is the nature of desire not to be satisfied, and most men live only for the gratification of it.”
When I was 16 years old I was filled with the Holy Spirit. It was only until that moment that I began to receive the love of God (Romans 5:5). This love filled my heart like balmy, thick sap and flowed into the cracks of my broken places, brining the fragrance of Christ. It was truly a supernatural work, one that I could never do. I remember sitting in my high school journalism class next to my friend Hazel and feeling the Holy Spirit move in my heart. I began to scribble in my notebook and drew a picture of my soul. There was a Man inside cooking, then He began rearranging furniture, adding beautiful things and tending to a garden outside of a pleasant looking cottage. I could tell He was making himself comfortable inside of me. I turned to Hazel and showed her the drawing, “I see Jesus in me.”
Soon an amazing thing began to happen…I found fulfillment. This incredible peace came not because of popularity, or dating a boy, or because I had accomplished some great feat. It came because God was intimate with me. Slowly, He wooed me and there was such inner pleasure within me that I became almost unoffendable (if that’s a word). My soul was like a thousand rolling hills of purple lavender fields. The scents of His Presence was weighty and heady like wine. And I was stolen away into a place called the Kingdom of Heaven. There…He made a proposal and I accepted my identity and covenant in Christ.
God’s love is so deep, so wide, so comforting. I once described His eyes like bowls of cinnamon set on fire. He became everything and everything became nothing without Him. I loved others deeply, from my heart (1 Peter 1:22). I found everything the heart of man truly longs for in our Creator…who I found wasn’t distant and angry. He was my personal Friend, my Master, my Father & then He told me He was my husband (Isaiah 54:5).I married my now husband, Stephen McClelland as a virgin. I had never kissed anyone before him or dated anyone before him. But it wasn’t because I had a set of religious rules in front of me and worked hard to control my flesh. To be honest, I’m not that strong and that kind of method doesn’t work. Paul said it is good for our hearts to be strengthened by grace (Hebrews 13:9). Father set a feast of divine pleasure in my heart. It was heavenly pleasure that kept me away from sinful fleshly pleasure.
Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul, is a collection of tender short stories that Jesus used to romance my soul with pure intimacy. It was these sweet moments with Him that saved me from the traps that were set for me in my youth. I am so excited to be able to offer this book on amazon. You can check it out by clicking here.
My prayer for every man and women that reads this, is that they will be drenched in the warm love of God as if they were under a spiced waterfall. And that through this… they would fall in love with Him. There is no lasting fulfillment or rest for your soul until it is found in relationship with Him. abundant life begins with Him. The bread of peace is in His hand and He’s a generous Giver.
xoxo
“This book is simply wonderful. Deliciously descriptive, it nourishes the soul with fresh revelation of God’s love for humanity. This collection of short stories may challenge your thinking about what true intimacy looks like, while making your heart yearn to daily experience the Perfect Love described within its pages. It invites you into a world created by Love Himself, where there’s no mistaking that His love is not only unconditional and never-failing, but also deeply personal and precious to Him. Get ready to experience the purpose, pleasure, and power of real love!” -Danielle Sanders
It’s a faithful song with rays more golden than sunlight.
It’s the sweet singing of a bride awaiting her bridegroom.
This song twirls through the windpipes of heaven and strums from the stringed instruments of eternity.
It’s the beckoning smile of a beloved’s face.
It’s more melodious than birdsong in early Spring.
There is no deeper intimacy than sharing breath and body with this holy Lover.
He lives inside of my spirit and my heart pulses with the warmth of his presence even as I long for the tangible warmth of his physical skin. (John 1:14)
This holy Bridegroom who has stolen my heart and keeps it safe inside his chest as if I were within the lock and key of a vault.
His whispers enter my mind as He shares his thoughts with me.
They are always thoughts that bring me peace and life when the storms, troubles or worries of life are present.
His Holy Spirit kisses melt more sweetly than sugar on my hearts’ tongue. (Romans 5:5)
I crave His company more than all others.
I desire everything about Him.
No one from the outside looking in can truly understand or know this love without experiencing it.
This is the most faithful love, because it will never die.
This love has conquered death.
My heart is stirred by a noble theme as I recite my verses to the king; my tongue is the pen of a skillful writer. You are the most handsome of men; grace has anointed your lips, since God has blessed you forever. -Psalm 45:1-2 BSB
~This excerpt is taken from the revised version of my new book, Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul:
“I became a man just like you…except male and without sin. But make no mistake, my body was like unto yours.”
The scripture of David sweetened my mind like fine sugar—dusting my thoughts with saccharinity. Was this truly how David felt when he confessed that he wasfearfully and wonderfully made?
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you… —Psalm 139:14–16a MSG
“You were made for me and for my Father’s good pleasure,” Jesus said.
I gazed toward him and I saw he was looking out at the waves with me. His warm brown eyes aglow like amber by a fire drew me in. My breath caught and I was being lulled into him. Slowly and yet quickly I was sucked into him. Graced with wings I began to fly into his ocher eyes and soar upon the aromatic winds of his soul. Suddenly I was towering over lush, emerald-green mountains carpeted with jade spring grass. Polychromatic flowers like melted rainbows splashed across the mountains like glinting, colorful diamonds. The sky was more expansive than a thousand planets and stretched forth like gleaming still waters of opal blue. The clearness of it was like glass. Cumulus clouds formed puffy hills like burning peach marble and mirrored the hazy autumnal colors of the morning. Jesus’ eyes were more majestic than thousands of waterfalls brimming with translucent waves. In those eyes I saw eternity, and streets of shining gold like transpicuous fire. I beheld oceans of the most pristine blue. Foamy waves swelled, rose, and then splashed down, releasing whimsical laughter with each eye-catching crash. The heart of Jesus arrested me with beauty.
“Do you see it?” Jesus asked.
“Yes,” I barely managed to whisper.
Everything within him was full of life. All of creation seemed diffused with light from an otherworldly presence. Not only was it beautiful, it was alive. It wasn’t alive apart from him, but it was alive with him. It was as if his DNA was in the genetic makeup of everything. Creation took on a new form. It was cloaked with a brilliance that mirrored moonlight. There was a glow around the animals, the blue whales, the flimsy spiders’ webs, the fluttering butterflies, the legs of speeding cheetahs.
“Do you think that is amazing?” he asked.
I nodded. “More than I’ve realized. What did I just see Lord?”
“You saw a little taste of the restoration of all things. The glory in which creation dwelt before the fall—a glance at redemption—the way the Father and I originally intended the world to be: without sin, without killing, without sickness or disease and without fear. But full of my Father’s glory. This is what my Father will do again when he creates the new earth.”
The emancipated world was more breathtaking that I could have imagined. Passages from Isaiah 11 mirror the reality of the glorious goodness that await the redeemed sons and daughters of God.
I took a few thoughtful breaths for measure and tried to reimagine what I saw. I wanted to live in it now. Everything in my body pined for such a world.
“The world came through me. For by me were all things were made and I hold everything together.[i] The Holy Spirit, the One you call your best friend, saw what was in the Father’s heart before he spoke his Word out. For who can know the thoughts of man except the spirit that dwells within him?[ii] The same is true for God. The Spirit took what was in us and when he brooded over the waters, he gave power to the Word, to the heart of God. He went to work. He is the Father’s life-giving Spirit.”
“Wow,” I voiced quietly. An incoherent sound came from my lips as a new thought caused my eyebrows to lift.
“If you think what you’ve seen is amazing then imagine how amazing it was when we fulfilled the Father’s desire when he said, ‘Let us make man in our image and after our likeness.’”
My eyes flared open as a spark of light was seen in Jesus’ body. It was more brilliant than any light I had ever seen.
“You see, when God made the heavens and the earth, the Spirit gave life to his Word—Me—and creation was made the way God intended. But when God formed you and all of his children, he took from out of himself personally. He spoke to himself. He molded a child from the clay of the earth and breathed his Spirit into his child, Adam. Instead of just speaking out, he hand-formed Adam like a potter does with clay and breathed the breath of life into man until Adam became a living soul.[iii] And then he designed Adam in a way that was extremely special. He gave Adam the intellectual and emotional properties for a father-child relationship. This is what the soul of man was created for. By placing his Spirit in man, he put his inner thoughts and heart in man. This has always been our Father’s will. For an everlasting family relationship with man. This is why even after they sinned, Father pursued man. His plan has not changed. He still writes his law, his thoughts and heart, on the heart of men who come to him.[iv] He still gives his Holy Spirit in the new covenant. He has never stopped being good to man and he has made a way for the original relationship that he had with Adam and Eve to be the same for every man through my sacrifice.”
The way Jesus’ tone changed when he spoke Adam’s name alarmed me. There was a thickness and a weight when he breathed the name.
Clear trails began to gather in Jesus’ golden-brown eyes, shimmering like pools made of quartz. To my surprise he started to silently weep. The compassion in him was coming off like healing waves from a hot spring. The sweetness of it was like honey and the pained desire of it was almost devastating.
I remembered his tears when he agonized with moans from a breaking heart.
“Oh Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones God’s messengers! How often I wanted to gather your children together as a hen protects her chicks beneath her wings, but you wouldn’t let me!” —Matthew 23:37 NLT
In a split second, I felt the tiniest fraction of his deep compassion and longing for his sons and daughters. It was a sacrificial love, a love that laid everything down and spared no expense. I could hardly bare the strength of it.
“My dear, if you really knew how much my Father invested himself in you, you wouldn’t gape at creation the way you would gape at man. You would look in the mirror and never feel self-doubt again because you would know that I dwell within you. You saw a foretaste of redeemed creation in my eyes. The wonder of redeemed man through my eyes is infinitely better. Every man was made to be fully alive in me.”
~To purchase a copy of Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul, click here:
“As I read, I quickly became enthralled with this book, so beautifully written in the language of love. Each of these short stories so accurately reflects the romantic and wooing heart of the Bridegroom which draws you to Himself into a deeper place of love and intimacy. If you have not yet experienced romantic intimacy with God, I’m confident that this book will set you on course. It’s bound to warm your soul and whet your desire for your own heart-to-heart conversations and experiences with God. The author creatively ministers to the soul, bringing truth to light in the most tangible ways; you will feel that God is speaking directly to you, and He most certainly is! Some stories caused me to be drawn away into remembrance of my own experiences and conversations with God that have freed my soul; others caused me to reevaluate my heart’s commitment to my first Husband and cry out for forgiveness; and yet others simply took me on a delightful and exciting adventure of what the beginning of a holy, unadulterated love looks like – so refreshing to the soul! I commend the author for using her creative gifting to share personal reflections and heart intimacies which I know could only come from the deep well of Father’s heart. I highly recommend this book as a must read!” -Marina Garcia, Worship Leader
And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died for them and was raised again. So from now on we regard no one according to the flesh. Although we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away. Behold, the new has come!…2 Corinthians 5:15-17a BSB
His reality… is the only true reality.
Everything else is only smoke and mirrors.
I throw off my other identifications. I toss away my perceptions of reality. I consider my human accomplishments as dross and waste. I cast off the cards and boxes that the world has said define me. I throw away my woman-card, my black-card, my small business woman card, my middle class card, my Thompson card, my McClelland card, my Republican card, my Democratic card…all identifications must bow before the One who emptied Himself of heavens glories and His position to fill me. He died to define me.
He is Truth. Thus, He is Light. The Light of the world. Isaiah says He is SO glorious, so brilliant, so radiant that the sun and moon shall be ashamed of their light in comparison with His ! My mind is blown away when I think of the shame that the sun will feel!!! The light from the sun gives life to everything on earth! Think of it.. photosynthesis, warmth, heat, the ability to see.
But this Jesus! His light far surpasses the sun’s! John says that Light has already come into the world but men loved darkness instead of the Light. This Light isn’t like the suns. This Light is Truth…Truth that requires surrender and yieldedness of belief. This Light pierces through the darkness of human understanding, philosophy, logic and burns away all pride and rebellion. This Light shines in the center of the human heart like the sun shines in the center of the Milky Way. Everything within you must move around and yield to the gravitational pull of Jesus.
Some men didn’t even recognize the Light. But this Light was the Life of all men. And this Light lives in each believer! How could we let such pettiness like political differences, minimal doctrine differences, unforgiveness, hurts, etc, drown out the Truth! The Truth of who we are and Whom we belong to. There is a Truth that exists in heaven and this Truth has left us His Light.
There is a reality that exists in heaven that needs to come down to earth. He prayed, “your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” I choose to cast off the labels, the carnal humanism thinking that resists and rebels against God.
When you seek the Truth, there is only One whom you will find…His name is Jesus Christ
This is not self-realization or self-help.
This is self in Christ.
In Christ only.
Christ-reliance.
And all glory, all power, all authority is His!
Hallelujah!
For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed and heirs according to the promise.… Galatians 3:27-29a BSB
Thus by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be strongly encouraged. This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary. -Hebrews 6:18-19
A few days ago, I sat across from my grandmother while coddling Elena. I had an agenda for that afternoon, but my newborn was in the mood to cluster feed and so I was trapped on the couch. The forced stillness opened up a beautiful space in time for my grandmother to share some of the visions she’s had of Heaven.
“Tell me about heaven.” I asked, having nothing to do. As quiet worship music played in the background my grandmother told me of one of the times God showed her Heaven. Some of the things that really moved my heart was when she said:
“There are children in heaven. Every child that dies on earth goes there.
”“There is a wall of pure gold set with precious stones in an arch at the top…twelve gates. It’s so beautiful. Like nothing you’ve ever seen.”
“The flowers, trees and fruit there are so vibrant and the fruit is sweet, sweet and succulent.”
“God showed me how I would look in Heaven. I had on this white flowy dress and I had long hair and He told me “you will be young and beautiful forever.” My House was two story and it had a spiral staircase like pearls”
“There is no sadness, only joy. Just happiness. The streets are made of gold. It’s exactly as the Bible says it will be.”
As grandma talked, I saw her lips slowly curve upward into a blissful smile and remain that way. She was so happy. Her eyes seemed to twinkle. I laughed softly & said, “you look so happy.
”She told me she was very happy and that she was ready for heaven. I laughed and told her to wait a while longer before she goes. She replied, “my child, earth is a trash heap compared to heaven. I’m not afraid of dying. The angels will be waiting for me.”
I too shared a vision I had of Heaven and seeing God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. It’s amazing how similar our accounts were.
I’m so grateful for that moment in time where my one month old slowed down my fast pacing so that I could sit and talk with my grandmother. Since then, grandma and I have talked much more…only because I’ve relearned the value of sitting still and listening to (on a deeper level) the wonderful, anointed, caring and amazing woman, I call my grandmother.
As believers, we have an eternally beautiful life promise that will come to full brilliance like the break of sunshine after a long night. We have a hope more secure than the heaviest anchor. We have a treasure more rich than all the gold in the world. We will have, in every sense, His kingdom come, “on earth as it is in heaven.”
About a year after I wrote this, my grandma went home to be with Jesus. During her funeral a bright blue star streaked across the night sky. My sisters says it was the brightest star she ever saw. A few days later I came across a scripture verse where God says that his children shall be numerous like the stars of the heavens…
“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” -Jesus in John 13:34-35
How do you view the church? Do you view it as an organization? Do you view it as a religious institution? Do you view it as a charity?
What comes to your mind when you think of the church? What do you feel in your heart?
For years I had a rocky (love-hate) relationship with the church. My first real experience of the church came after I fully gave my heart to Jesus, alone, living in college campus housing, at 16 years old. I saw what looked like white translucent rain falling through the ceiling and I felt a cloud expand in my chest as Jesus came to truly live and abide in my heart. I quickly became enthralled with Jesus as I learned how to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and keep a tender heart toward the Bible (I read the Bible cover to cover).
After I was born-again, I had a newfound, sweetly pure but dangerously naïve view of the church and myself. I saw the church as a place of “Jesus-filled” people. I thought everyone would basically be “perfect” and always show unfailing love to one another even in the midst of disagreements (my expectations were obviously not based in reality. For although we have been made perfect in Christ -Hebrews 10:13, we have to actively choose to walk in the fruit of the Holy Spirit/perfection -Galatians 5:22-23).
Because I loved Jesus, I proactively started to become involved with my local church. I spent years volunteering at church in different areas. I met and made the first real friendships in my life. I met the most precious people on earth to my heart. I was richly showered with love, care, generosity and wisdom from a lot of the people around me (particularly a group of older women who I called my “best friends.”). I was so plugged in and had built such meaningful relationships that I practically lived at church. I was there 5-7 days a week, literally. I worked at the church preschool (that accounted for at least 3 days), I served as a youth leader on Wednesday nights, I served as a Missionette teacher on family nights, I was there Sunday to attend and sometimes I would serve as a prayer minister or nursery worker etc. It was beautiful for a long time.
However, after four years I spiraled into disillusionment and disappointment with the church (as a whole) when I faced a faith-shaking crisis “alone.” I felt left alone in the midst of the greatest storm of sadness and hopelessness in my life. The people I thought would come to my aid and offer love, were oblivious to my deeply internal pain (for details on what my crisis entailed, click here). I let the perceived abandonment of misunderstandings sink me into a whirling pool of bitterness.
In my emotional pit, I began to think back over the years and focus on the little offenses and hurts that I had experienced in church. As I played these episodes in my mind, I began to nitpick the issues I saw within the church (some of them were imagined). Slowly I began to criticize others and sometimes side with the Accuser in my head concerning my divine family.
If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? And he has given us this command; Those who love God must also love their fellow believers. -1 John 4:20-21
Later, I tentatively adopted my own version of the infamous mantra, “I love Jesus but I hate the church.” I never truly “hated” the church but I certainly allowed my heart to harden toward it. The paradoxical philosophy of “Lord save me from your people” was rippling across culture at the time and for all its luminous and intellectually lucid appeal, its foundation was a murky cesspool of: bitterness, hurt, unforgiveness, misunderstanding, judgement, rebellion, faithlessness, and a vast assortment of carnality.
For a brief season, I was swept away in its viciously charming tide.
Thankfully, Father came after my heart through his unconditional love. He appealed to my heart as a loving Father who longs for his children to harmoniously live together as family:
I appeal to you, dear brothers and sisters, by the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ, to live in harmony with each other. Let there be no divisions in the church. Rather, be of one mind, united in thought and purpose. –1 Corinthians 1:10 NLT
I slowly began to re-receive his grace. During this healing process, He slowly lifted the dark veil of bitterness from my eyes and washed my heart with cleansing mercy. I began to see how wrong I had been in my view of the church. I began to look at that time in my life objectively instead of narrowly from a place of emotional despair. With clearer vision, I noticed the ways I had sunken myself into the crisis. I saw how I had been partly responsible for the ignorance in others. After all, I kept my crisis hidden from many of them (I guess I wanted them to know intuitively that I needed help instead of being vulnerable and honest about my own personal weaknesses, mistakes, doubts and feelings of being “used and discarded.”).
The few precious people who did know how severe the trauma was, did come along side of me in prayer, visits, text messages, patience, gifts and love. They didn’t all love me in the way I wanted to be loved, some of them were wrong in their speech and actions… but they did show love to the best of their ability (at that time, my mind was so stormy with tumultuous thoughts, someone could easily have offended me).
God used those people to help save me (literally save me) and help me see, how much I needed the church. I began to see and feel the love of God for the church and offer them the same mercy God was showing me. I began to overlook their faults and forgive them and myself.
We love each other because he first loved us. -1 John 4:19
My view of the church has gradually become more mature and more based in reality and scriptural soundness. The church is my family. The church is my first taste of heaven. The church is a part of my eternal spirit because the church is the Body of Christ. And we are all parts of Jesus. If one part of the body is broken off…the whole body is now crippled. If one part of the body is bruised, the whole body is damaged as a result (I did a short video on this, you can view it by clicking here):
There is one body, but it has many parts. But all its many parts make up one body. It is the same with Christ. We were all baptized by one Holy Spirit. And so we are formed into one body. It didn’t matter whether we were Jews or Gentiles, slaves or free people. We were all given the same Spirit to drink. So the body is not made up of just one part. It has many parts. -1 Corinthians 12:12-14
More recently my view of the church has changed since becoming a mother to more than one child.
Shortly after giving birth to my second child, I began to taste the love of God for the church in a whole new way. I wrote a prayer for my daughters and the church during a heated season of rampant division and discord in our nation:
In this world that likes to divide us because of political differences, racial sensitivities, religious traditions, sub-cultural perspectives, and an endless list of other things…my prayer for our girls is that the love of Jesus will guard their relationship . I pray they will never let the world drift them apart. I pray they will be unoffendable because of the radiance and truth of God abiding in their hearts.
I pray they will support each other through thick and thin. I pray they will learn to easily forgive and to reconcile differences in a peaceful manner (learn mature conflict resolution). I pray they will walk in God’s wisdom which is humble and full of understanding. I pray they will flourish in life and have a rich relationship with each other (even after I’m gone from this earth. I pray they will be spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically strong for their entire lives and that their inner source will be the life of Jesus inside of them.
I pray they will give to one another when the other is in financial stress. I pray their children and husbands will get along and learn family value. I pray they will be examples of Heaven’s ways on earth..
Because as Christians we cannot allow our love to grow cold. Jesus told us to love each other deeply from the heart. And to love one another the way He has shown us love. That kind of love is sacrificial and selfless in nature…divine. It’s the cure for this planet. It’s the medicine for the diseased soul. It’s the peace that surpasses understanding. And it’s the joy that brings strength to those who are feeble and faint with the trails and worries of life:
-“Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies.”
–“Blessed are the peacemakers. For they will be called children of God.” -Jesus in Matthew 5:9
–“Six things God hates…he who sows discord among brethren.” -Proverbs 6:19
One of the worst things I can imagine as a parent is the thought of my children growing up and then hating one another. I couldn’t imagine anything much more heartbreaking than seeing my children…whom I raised together and at one point thought I was giving my life for (childbirth)…full of resentment toward each other. Now, I can only imagine God’s heart breaking up in heaven as He watches his children quarreling, slandering and accusing each other. So many broken relationships over political and social drama…even after His Son died so that we might be united and joined together as a redeemed family. I pray we, the church, learn to walk in love toward each other and not let the temporal issues of the world keep us from our heavenly mission and the bond of peace, unity and faith
~My husband took these photos of myself and the girls a few weeks after Elena was born <3
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I wouldn’t be alive today or have most of the good things in my life had it not been for brothers and sisters in Christ. No matter who has hurt you, God’s love can make you whole again. Although the church is not everything it should be now…it will be just like Jesus in eternity. We will all live in such celestial bliss and divine love and harmony with each other that no tears will be left to cry. We are forever family. I pray God leads you to brothers and sisters in Christ who will be this in your life. I pray you will be this to other members of Christ’s body as well, knowing that what heals them ultimately heals you. And what heals you, ultimately heals them.
“When I read Visions of Celestial Love, it is as if I am brought down to my knees to worship. What the Holy Spirit has done in and through Ashley, He is doing also in me. What a wonderful experience. It is very rich. Thank you for sharing the treasure.”—Riko Suci Alam, CEO of Ligar Jaya and owner of Clove Garden hotel in Bandung Indonesia.
Right now I’ve been typing up a story called: Mr. Field’s Rosemary (one of my Jesus in disguise books). It takes place in an orchard field with a recently widowed woman on her way to Mr. Joshua Field’s cottage to cook breakfast for him and his six children. What Rosemary discovers is that Mr. Field’s is too going through pain. His beloved wife has run away from home again. This story has two big twists that leads to wholeness for Rosemary and the six adorable children she easily begins to love. I always ask the Lord to help me write and my prayer is that everything I publish leaves a deep, healing impression of Jesus’s love in the heart of every reader. I pray each reader comes to “see” the sweetly inconspicuous ways Jesus is hidden in plain sight in their lives and that they come begin to fellowship with Him daily. Enjoy:
While Joshua was gone Rosemary took some more sips of tea before admiring his kitchen again. She drank in the lovely decor and imagined his wife must have helped him furnish this room. Warmth from the pillar heat lamp rubbed her back like an expert massage therapist.
Rosemary spotted a bright gold chested hummingbird with shimmering emerald wings. It sucked sugared water from a feeder dangling from the paneled patio. The gold-flamed honeysuckle flowers glowed from the peeking rays of the sun. Their vines hung like a soft caress on the patio’s design. The edge of winter was waning and the waking yawns of spring echoed in the scenery.
Joshua announced his presence by softly clearing his throat. He headed for the cabinets, “coffee too?”
“No thank you Mr. Fields. Your tea is quite…perfect.”
Joshua grinned in delight, “I think you’ll enjoy the coffee more.”
Rosemary only stared…missing the taste of freshly brewed coffee on her palate.
“I feel like you’re a coffee drinker.” Mr. Fields stated before turning on the grinder. The inviting scents of the beans wafted underneath Rosemary’s nose.
“I do love coffee,” Rosemary confessed and then shrugged one shoulder, “but usually with a ton of whipped milk and sugar…among other things.” She blushed as she looked down at her belly and slightly patted it, “but I’m trying to lay low on some things right now.”
Mr. Fields gave a sympathetic look.
Tears threatened and Rosemary let out a cough to clear her throat, “I…I overate quite a bit after…” her voice broke. After my husband died, she thought. She shook her head before glancing up at him. His gaze was attentive but not forceful.
A long moment of silence filtered between them, with it, an awkward pressure to break it. Mr. Fields turned off the grinder and carefully made his way toward her.
All of the pain she was feeling was like an angry volcano in her chest. It threatened to squeeze through her throat. Rosemary gulped loudly and her bottom lip twitched. Mr. Fields stopped an arm length away.
She feared he would touch her…but more than that she feared the wrath inside of herself. She had never experienced anger when Richard died…only overwhelming sadness. The worst part was…she felt her anger was directed toward God.
What kind of Christian am I?
Shame flamed Rosemary’s already reddened face. Her jade eyes widened and she took a step back.
“Do you need to talk about it?” Mr. Fields asked gently.
Rosemary shook her head more violently than she intended, “it’s nothing I think would be beneficial to our working relationship.”
“But, would it be beneficial to you? That’s important too.” His voice was so soft it came out like a whisper.
She looked up and saw his beautifully warm eyes. There was genuine care sketched across his bronzy visage.
A thousand thoughts battled in her mind. But the longer she looked at him, the more her mind cleared. It was as if the soft peace she felt around him was being offered to her. “After…my husband died,” the words came out like the bite of an undying winter. Her shoulders shook and her trembling lips parted before a flood of audible cries came out. Joshua closed the remaining gap between them and wrapped her in his arms. She forgot herself and buried her face against his chest. He rested his chin on her head and embraced her firmly. She stood there in his shelter until she collected herself.
After becoming calm, Rosemary allowed herself to linger in Mr. Field’s supportive arms. She could hear his heartbeat against her ears and the faint scent of spikenard, saffron and calamus were blended like a colon bath on his clothes. Clearing her throat, she put a pushing hand against him and he released her immediately. Clear tears trailed her cheeks, dripped down her chin and splashed against her arms and shirt.
“I…”
He cut her off, “Don’t apologize. I’m glad you got that off your chest.”
She glanced away until he spoke again, “You don’t ever have to pretend you feel anyway other than what you do around me. I’m not unfamiliar with pain…or comfort.”
“Thank you, Mr. Fields.”
He held a hand up, “please call me Joshua. It’s more personable.”
She tilted her head slightly.
“It’s okay if you forget…but it’s another if you do it on purpose. I’m asking you to call me by my first name.”
Deciding not to make waves Rosemary nodded. “Okay,” she verbalized.
“Good,” He said and then only stared. The look on his face spoke volumes more. He desired to say things that she wasn’t ready to hear. Pain flickered in his eyes and then something else. A knowing she couldn’t discern yet it pulled on her soul like a magnet leading straight to his heart.
She sniffled and squinted her eyes in thought.
“I want you to feel like family with myself and the kids.” Joshua said and in her heart, she believed him.
“That is super kind of you to say that. I confess I think my time volunteering with you might unravel some of my emotions. I never meant to involve you in my grieving process, especially since your family is going through a difficult family time as well.”
“I believe this is a good thing,” he said confidently but not arrogantly. Rosemary waited for an explanation and when he offered none she shrugged, “maybe.”
Joshua turned away and went back to fixing his coffee. After pouring fresh water into a silver and black cappuccino machine he offered, “I can help you with breakfast if you like?”
There was something about him that made Rosemary suspect she would not be able to hide behind her self-imposed mask of calm. She trembled inwardly as she feared his peaceful presence would unravel the ugly things within her she had so desperately closed her conscious to. Vulnerability had never been her forte. Her history was marked with painful memories of rejection and scorn whenever she exposed the soft, throbbing, naked places of her soul. She couldn’t imagine Joshua would respond any different.
“No, thank you.” she said, wanting to put distance between herself and him.
Fear not, for you shall not be ashamed; neither be confounded and depressed, for you shall not be put to shame. For you shall forget the shame of your youth, and you shall not [seriously] remember the reproach of your widowhood any more.
For your Maker is your Husband—the Lord of hosts is His name—and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; the God of the whole earth He is called.
For the Lord has called you like a woman forsaken, grieved in spirit, and heartsore—even a wife [wooed and won] in youth, when she is [later] refused and scorned, says your God. -Isaiah 54:4-6 AMP
As always, may you enjoy the warmth of Jesus’s love today in familiar and unexpected places! For a romantic fictional book on the bridegroom love of Jesus, check out my book, Romantic Rendezvous for The Soul!
“As I read, I quickly became enthralled with this book, so beautifully written in the language of love. Each of these short stories so accurately reflects the romantic and wooing heart of the Bridegroom which draws you to Himself into a deeper place of love and intimacy. If you have not yet experienced romantic intimacy with God, I’m confident that this book will set you on course. It’s bound to warm your soul and whet your desire for your own heart-to-heart conversations and experiences with God. The author creatively ministers to the soul, bringing truth to light in the most tangible ways; you will feel that God is speaking directly to you, and He most certainly is!
Some stories caused me to be drawn away into remembrance of my own experiences and conversations with God that have freed my soul; others caused me to reevaluate my heart’s commitment to my first Husband and cry out for forgiveness; and yet others simply took me on a delightful and exciting adventure of what the beginning of a holy, unadulterated love looks like – so refreshing to the soul! I commend the author for using her creative gifting to share personal reflections and heart intimacies which I know could only come from the deep well of Father’s heart. I highly recommend this book as a must read!” -Marina Garcia
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. (Psalm 97:2-3)
like the Son of righteousness because we are His. And we can taste and see that He is good. (Psalm 34:8)
There is no lasting fulfillment or rest for your soul until it is found in relationship with Him. abundant life begins with Him. The bread of peace is in His hand and He’s a generous Giver.
