My literary agent’s husband recently finished my whole book and wrote this brilliant summary for it . I feel so blessed! This has been a two year journey and the manuscript is almost ready to present to publishers.
Synopsis:
This allegorical fantasy romance begins with Noelani on a date with Jesus Christ (in the flesh). Based loosely on Revelation 22:17: The [Holy] Spirit and the bride (the church, believers) say, “Come.” And let the one who hears say, “Come.” And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who wishes take and drink the water of life without cost. -Revelation 22:17 AMP
Jesus takes her through a series of settings and circumstances as she begins to realize his deep love for her. Beginning at the local coffee shop, she witnesses as Jesus talks to the barista and changes her whole life right there.
Then they visit a nearby lake and watch the stars and water and trees transform into phantasmagoric visions while she is transported into heaven at a castle like the one in the Cinderella ball. She dances with Jesus and later falls asleep in her private bedroom in the castle. Jesus talks with her and introduces her to The Father and continues to woo her, asking her to marry him. Finally, she says yes.
Part two begins in Noelani’s kitchen with her friend and Jesus as a visiting plumber who has tea and asks and answers questions of them both. As the discussion progresses, Noelani gains more insight and philosophical/theological understanding that Jesus expresses and verifies in the Bible.
Then a short walk to the local elementary school where Jesus shows Noelani how to minister to a small immigrant child from Africa. They part and she is no longer able to meet Jesus in the flesh.
Emphasizing the love of God and the continued effort of Jesus and the Father to restore sinners to a state of grace. The main emphasis of this story is to clarify the Christian love relationships between husband and wife and dispel the often-misunderstood concepts and behaviors of human sexuality.
Discussion questions at each chapter ending provide a format for group discussion. Additional references include recommended music and scripture end notes.
“But I came by and saw you there, helplessly kicking about in your own blood. As you lay there, I said, ‘Live!’ And I helped you to thrive like a plant in the field. You grew up and became a beautiful jewel. Your breasts became full, and your body hair grew, but you were still naked. And when I passed by again, I saw that you were old enough for love. So I wrapped my cloak around you to cover your nakedness and declared my marriage vows. I made a covenant with you, says the Sovereign Lord, and you became mine. “Then I bathed you and washed off your blood, and I rubbed fragrant oils into your skin. I gave you expensive clothing of fine linen and silk, beautifully embroidered, and sandals made of fine goatskin leather. I gave you lovely jewelry, bracelets, beautiful necklaces, a ring for your nose, earrings for your ears, and a lovely crown for your head. And so you were adorned with gold and silver. Your clothes were made of fine linen and costly fabric and were beautifully embroidered. You ate the finest foods—choice flour, honey, and olive oil—and became more beautiful than ever. You looked like a queen, and so you were!”
-God in Ezekiel 16:6-13 NLT.
~To discover my original novella that inspired this new book, click here.
“As I read, I quickly became enthralled with this book, so beautifully written in the language of love. Each of these short stories so accurately reflects the romantic and wooing heart of the Bridegroom which draws you to Himself into a deeper place of love and intimacy. If you have not yet experienced romantic intimacy with God, I’m confident that this book will set you on course. It’s bound to warm your soul and whet your desire for your own heart-to-heart conversations and experiences with God. The author creatively ministers to the soul, bringing truth to light in the most tangible ways; you will feel that God is speaking directly to you, and He most certainly is! Some stories caused me to be drawn away into remembrance of my own experiences and conversations with God that have freed my soul; others caused me to reevaluate my heart’s commitment to my first Husband and cry out for forgiveness; and yet others simply took me on a delightful and exciting adventure of what the beginning of a holy, unadulterated love looks like – so refreshing to the soul! I commend the author for using her creative gifting to share personal reflections and heart intimacies which I know could only come from the deep well of Father’s heart. I highly recommend this book as a must read!” -Marina Garcia, worshipper, mother, wife, health cheerleader.
~This preview is taken from my upcoming Christian fiction book, At the Time for Love, a book based off Ezekiel 16:6-14. This novella is meant to introduce young women to the intimate love of Jesus while transparently discussing the topic of: romantic relationships, the often tumultuous and confusing emotions of teenage girls (as well as their blossoming longing for mature love), sex, and above all, the tender Bridegroom love of Jesus. When I was 16 years old, Jesus came after my heart and I wrote my first romantic story, I Do, about being his bride while listening to the song Hero by Enrique Iglesias. Because of his pure love, I walked through my young adult life whole and avoided much heartbreak and compromise. Later, I married the man of my dreams (my 1st boyfriend). My passion is to bring purity and sexual healing back to this generation. I pray Jesus uses this book to save young women in the same way He saved me. This book is meant for girls ages 17+.
Rippling, warm sensations traveled through my body before giving way to placid serenity, as he looked at me with sonographic accuracy. It was like he could see through me. Even though I was bundled in clothing, I felt naked before him. His eyes pleasantly burned through all my layers. Only, it wasn’t a sexual stripping, it was deeper, more personal, more exposing, more vulnerable. He dove into my heart and my pulse quickened and then slowed when all I saw was admiration and pure joy shining through his eyes and spreading across his entire visage.
He loved me.
Adjusting himself, he unlopped his arm from across my shoulders and pulled out a small velvety black box from his right pocket. My breath caught and he slowly took my right hand in his, lifting it up. I held my breath and watched as he carefully set the box down in his lap before tenderly taking off my glove. Time seemed frozen as he briefly but gently stroked the back of my fingers with his thumb. Our skin on skin contact caused tingling flashes of pleasure to shoot up my arm.
The frozen winter wonderland around us became void in the light of his face and shinning ocher eyes. His butterscotch skin was warmer than the sweet cup of hot chocolate I had drank. My heart was heard in my ears and all else was silent.
Is he proposing? I thought, feeling like I would simultaneously faint to the floor and fly to the moon.
I saw a muscle work in James’s jaw and his mouth moved slightly as if he wanted to say something. He slowly let go of my hand and opened the box. A brilliant ruby, chiseled in the shape of a blooming rose with gold wire around the delicate petals was seen. It was engrafted on a rose gold band and the pointed leaves on each end were silver. The veins on the leaflets were rose gold as well.
I gasped in awe!
“Merry Christmas. If you’ll have me, this will be my engagement ring to you, Rose,” he said slipping the ring on my ring finger, “I vow that I’ll love you forever with all my heart and seek to love you as Christ loves his church. I promise to be faithful to you, to pray for you, to cherish you, to be a channel of God’s goodness, truth, and grace in your life.”
My hand and body trembled as he slipped the ring on my right ring finger. A scene from our first, private ride together in his truck came back. I remembered the vow he told me he had made with God concerning his future wife; “I plan to stay single until God shows me the right one. I pray for her almost every night… whoever she is. I’ve promised to never tell another woman that I love her, or kiss, until I know it’s her.”
All fear of losing him evaporated. I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t abandoned. I was loved and always would be. A deep sense of security washed over me like a tide of warm water from the Atlantic sea. It soothed my soul, like sacred oil coating my skin.
“It’s beautiful,” I said choking on tears. I studied the expensive jewelry as I lifted my hand closer to my face. I put my hand back down and saw James’s staring at me with unflinching eyes.
Tossing aside restraint, I leaped beside him with one quick swing. I caught the sides of his face with my hands and rubbed my fingers across his smooth skin, savoring the feel of his flesh. I saw him with my hands and felt the strong muscles in his jaw and cheeks. I allowed myself the pleasure of running my hands through his coarse hair for the first time and giggled even as tears blinded my vision.
“So tightly curly,” I commented. closed my eyes as tears slipped down them and dripped on his arm and mine, “just like I imagined in my dreams.”
I opened my eyes again when I felt James play with my hair.
“Silk, just like I imagined.”
My body trembled more and my lips quivered.
“James,” I breathed thickly and slid my hands to the back of his neck, intertwining my fingers, I gently pulled him closer.
His hands dropped and he flinched his face away. When he moved to unlace my fingers, I turned his face back toward mine.
“James,” I said again, staring at him with bullseye vision. My sea blue eyes misted over, and my voice sounded like a soft cry, “oh, James.”
I tipped my chin up even as I firmly pulled his down.
Our lips touched, lightly at first and then I smooshed them together, closing my eyes to savor the feeling.
I kissed him, feeling the softness of his lips and the hardness of his teeth. I kissed him again, unbothered by his conservative, unresponsive lips. I felt his warm exhales waft against the groove of my philtrum before falling down my lower face to lightly caress the tower of my neck.
When he started kissing me back, I melted against him and felt lost in a euphoric dream. He surrounded my body in his arms and snuggled me tightly. His arms slowly moved behind me until finding their place. With one hand, he cupped my head and with the other he steadied my mid-back.
Electrical sensations exploded in my heart like lightning escaping the veil of heavy, moist rain clouds. The seconds I sat wrapped up in him felt lost in eternity.
He brusquely pulled away and I opened my eyes.
I took my hands from around him and wiped the trails of tears from my cheeks and chin. I could see remnants of my tears lining his cheeks like glassy water in irregular patterns. .
He shook his head softly, “Autumn…” he gasped, his eyes aglow like I had never seen them.
“I thought it was Rose, or darling?” I gave a brisk chuckle.
“It’s all three.”
“And Sweet One,” I said with a crumpled smile, still tasting him on my tongue.
“Four then,” he said seriously before softening, “and much more to come.”
“Now you can talk to me. Yes?” I said batting my eyes whimsically.
I could tell he was surprised by my audaciousness. “I love you, but I’m not comfortable with this.”
“Why not?” I questioned, sure that our kiss was innocuous.
My eyes searched his like a thirsty +woman leaning over a well. Curious about love, I wanted to drink from him.
I was sure I captivated him as much as he captivated me. His eyes swam across my visage, studying my features. Being under his loving gaze was almost hallucinogenic to my heart. Under his perusal, I felt the fogging warmth inside my cheeks flush across my face and even meet the bridge of my nose. I knew I was smeared across with the blushing evidence of virginity. When his vision settled on my eyes, he exhaled audibly as love poured from him. I guessed our kiss had aroused a flame in him that could spread like wildfire if not tamed.
With humble poise, James tentatively placed his index finger on my neck, “I can feel your pulse.”
“You can always feel a person’s pulse on their neck…”
“Your heart is racing.” He stressed.
“As it should be. This was my first kiss,” I spoke in a sweet, hushed voice, “how blessed am I to have only kissed the man I truly love.”
I felt the tremor in his finger before he withdrew it. It was the first time I had ever seen him tremble. I didn’t know my touch could do that to him. I didn’t know anything could do that to him. He was smitten at the core with love for me.
I bravely reached my hand out and felt his neck. I let my fingers flutter against his skin.
“I can feel yours too,” I said softly and then licked my lips.
He firmly took hold of my wrist and gently pulled my hand down, silently requesting I keep our unspoken courtship protocol.
“This was my first kiss as a saved man.”
“So, we are both sort of in the same boat?”
“Sort of…”
We both fell silent and after a few seconds I shrugged my shoulders, “I suppose, regardless it will be our last kiss for a while. After all, you are going away.”
James slightly nodded his head.
I gave a puckish grin, “I’m glad I stole one before you did.”
We both laughed and in our jest, I marveled at this newfound boldness breaking free inside of me.
We sat and talked for another hour before I began shivering uncontrollably. With no more hot chocolate to take the cold edge off, James insisted he drive me back home. Even though I knew I would be warmer in his truck, I didn’t want my time with him to be shortened. Eventually, I relented and as he drove down the country road leading to my parent’s house, I prayed we would be together sooner than Spring…
“But I came by and saw you there, helplessly kicking about in your own blood. As you lay there, I said, ‘Live!’ And I helped you to thrive like a plant in the field. You grew up and became a beautiful jewel. Your breasts became full, and your body hair grew, but you were still naked. And when I passed by again, I saw that you were old enough for love. So I wrapped my cloak around you to cover your nakedness and declared my marriage vows. I made a covenant with you, says the Sovereign Lord, and you became mine. “Then I bathed you and washed off your blood, and I rubbed fragrant oils into your skin. I gave you expensive clothing of fine linen and silk, beautifully embroidered, and sandals made of fine goatskin leather. I gave you lovely jewelry, bracelets, beautiful necklaces, a ring for your nose, earrings for your ears, and a lovely crown for your head. And so you were adorned with gold and silver. Your clothes were made of fine linen and costly fabric and were beautifully embroidered. You ate the finest foods—choice flour, honey, and olive oil—and became more beautiful than ever. You looked like a queen, and so you were!”
-God in Ezekiel 16:6-13 NLT.
~For a fiction novella on godly love, check out my book, Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul (Pleasure That Makes You Whole). It explores the holy Bridegroom love of Jesus for the church on amazon! To purchase a copy or read reviews on it, click here. You can also read the first chapter free on my Free Inspiration page!
“This book is simply wonderful. Deliciously descriptive, it nourishes the soul with fresh revelation of God’s love for humanity. This collection of short stories may challenge your thinking about what true intimacy looks like, while making your heart yearn to daily experience the Perfect Love described within its pages. It invites you into a world created by Love Himself, where there’s no mistaking that His love is not only unconditional and never-failing, but also deeply personal and precious to Him. Get ready to experience the purpose, pleasure, and power of real love!” -Amazon Reviewer
The world teaches the opposite of this. Almost every time I turn on the television or listen to a (secular) love song on the radio I hear and see the damaging way culture is training people to find gratification. People cling and grasp at others for fleshly fulfillment…but there is no gratifying the flesh. And such cycles only lead to hurting others or yourself in the name of “love.” We tend to seek wholeness in others because the Father built us for relationship. Aristotle summed this up wisely when he wrote, “it is the nature of desire not to be satisfied, and most men live only for the gratification of it.”
When I was 16 years old I was filled with the Holy Spirit. It was only until that moment that I began to receive the love of God (Romans 5:5). This love filled my heart like balmy, thick sap and flowed into the cracks of my broken places, brining the fragrance of Christ. It was truly a supernatural work, one that I could never do. I remember sitting in my high school journalism class next to my friend Hazel and feeling the Holy Spirit move in my heart. I began to scribble in my notebook and drew a picture of my soul. There was a Man inside cooking, then He began rearranging furniture, adding beautiful things and tending to a garden outside of a pleasant looking cottage. I could tell He was making himself comfortable inside of me. I turned to Hazel and showed her the drawing, “I see Jesus in me.”
Soon an amazing thing began to happen…I found fulfillment. This incredible peace came not because of popularity, or dating a boy, or because I had accomplished some great feat. It came because God was intimate with me. Slowly, He wooed me and there was such inner pleasure within me that I became almost unoffendable (if that’s a word). My soul was like a thousand rolling hills of purple lavender fields. The scents of His Presence was weighty and heady like wine. And I was stolen away into a place called the Kingdom of Heaven. There…He made a proposal and I accepted my identity and covenant in Christ.
God’s love is so deep, so wide, so comforting. I once described His eyes like bowls of cinnamon set on fire. He became everything and everything became nothing without Him. I loved others deeply, from my heart (1 Peter 1:22). I found everything the heart of man truly longs for in our Creator…who I found wasn’t distant and angry. He was my personal Friend, my Master, my Father & then He told me He was my husband (Isaiah 54:5).I married my now husband, Stephen McClelland as a virgin. I had never kissed anyone before him or dated anyone before him. But it wasn’t because I had a set of religious rules in front of me and worked hard to control my flesh. To be honest, I’m not that strong and that kind of method doesn’t work. Paul said it is good for our hearts to be strengthened by grace (Hebrews 13:9). Father set a feast of divine pleasure in my heart. It was heavenly pleasure that kept me away from sinful fleshly pleasure.
Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul, is a collection of tender short stories that Jesus used to romance my soul with pure intimacy. It was these sweet moments with Him that saved me from the traps that were set for me in my youth. I am so excited to be able to offer this book on amazon. You can check it out by clicking here.
My prayer for every man and women that reads this, is that they will be drenched in the warm love of God as if they were under a spiced waterfall. And that through this… they would fall in love with Him. There is no lasting fulfillment or rest for your soul until it is found in relationship with Him. abundant life begins with Him. The bread of peace is in His hand and He’s a generous Giver.
xoxo
“This book is simply wonderful. Deliciously descriptive, it nourishes the soul with fresh revelation of God’s love for humanity. This collection of short stories may challenge your thinking about what true intimacy looks like, while making your heart yearn to daily experience the Perfect Love described within its pages. It invites you into a world created by Love Himself, where there’s no mistaking that His love is not only unconditional and never-failing, but also deeply personal and precious to Him. Get ready to experience the purpose, pleasure, and power of real love!” -Danielle Sanders
~This excerpt is taken from the revised version of my new book, Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul:
“I became a man just like you…except male and without sin. But make no mistake, my body was like unto yours.”
The scripture of David sweetened my mind like fine sugar—dusting my thoughts with saccharinity. Was this truly how David felt when he confessed that he wasfearfully and wonderfully made?
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you… —Psalm 139:14–16a MSG
“You were made for me and for my Father’s good pleasure,” Jesus said.
I gazed toward him and I saw he was looking out at the waves with me. His warm brown eyes aglow like amber by a fire drew me in. My breath caught and I was being lulled into him. Slowly and yet quickly I was sucked into him. Graced with wings I began to fly into his ocher eyes and soar upon the aromatic winds of his soul. Suddenly I was towering over lush, emerald-green mountains carpeted with jade spring grass. Polychromatic flowers like melted rainbows splashed across the mountains like glinting, colorful diamonds. The sky was more expansive than a thousand planets and stretched forth like gleaming still waters of opal blue. The clearness of it was like glass. Cumulus clouds formed puffy hills like burning peach marble and mirrored the hazy autumnal colors of the morning. Jesus’ eyes were more majestic than thousands of waterfalls brimming with translucent waves. In those eyes I saw eternity, and streets of shining gold like transpicuous fire. I beheld oceans of the most pristine blue. Foamy waves swelled, rose, and then splashed down, releasing whimsical laughter with each eye-catching crash. The heart of Jesus arrested me with beauty.
“Do you see it?” Jesus asked.
“Yes,” I barely managed to whisper.
Everything within him was full of life. All of creation seemed diffused with light from an otherworldly presence. Not only was it beautiful, it was alive. It wasn’t alive apart from him, but it was alive with him. It was as if his DNA was in the genetic makeup of everything. Creation took on a new form. It was cloaked with a brilliance that mirrored moonlight. There was a glow around the animals, the blue whales, the flimsy spiders’ webs, the fluttering butterflies, the legs of speeding cheetahs.
“Do you think that is amazing?” he asked.
I nodded. “More than I’ve realized. What did I just see Lord?”
“You saw a little taste of the restoration of all things. The glory in which creation dwelt before the fall—a glance at redemption—the way the Father and I originally intended the world to be: without sin, without killing, without sickness or disease and without fear. But full of my Father’s glory. This is what my Father will do again when he creates the new earth.”
The emancipated world was more breathtaking that I could have imagined. Passages from Isaiah 11 mirror the reality of the glorious goodness that await the redeemed sons and daughters of God.
I took a few thoughtful breaths for measure and tried to reimagine what I saw. I wanted to live in it now. Everything in my body pined for such a world.
“The world came through me. For by me were all things were made and I hold everything together.[i] The Holy Spirit, the One you call your best friend, saw what was in the Father’s heart before he spoke his Word out. For who can know the thoughts of man except the spirit that dwells within him?[ii] The same is true for God. The Spirit took what was in us and when he brooded over the waters, he gave power to the Word, to the heart of God. He went to work. He is the Father’s life-giving Spirit.”
“Wow,” I voiced quietly. An incoherent sound came from my lips as a new thought caused my eyebrows to lift.
“If you think what you’ve seen is amazing then imagine how amazing it was when we fulfilled the Father’s desire when he said, ‘Let us make man in our image and after our likeness.’”
My eyes flared open as a spark of light was seen in Jesus’ body. It was more brilliant than any light I had ever seen.
“You see, when God made the heavens and the earth, the Spirit gave life to his Word—Me—and creation was made the way God intended. But when God formed you and all of his children, he took from out of himself personally. He spoke to himself. He molded a child from the clay of the earth and breathed his Spirit into his child, Adam. Instead of just speaking out, he hand-formed Adam like a potter does with clay and breathed the breath of life into man until Adam became a living soul.[iii] And then he designed Adam in a way that was extremely special. He gave Adam the intellectual and emotional properties for a father-child relationship. This is what the soul of man was created for. By placing his Spirit in man, he put his inner thoughts and heart in man. This has always been our Father’s will. For an everlasting family relationship with man. This is why even after they sinned, Father pursued man. His plan has not changed. He still writes his law, his thoughts and heart, on the heart of men who come to him.[iv] He still gives his Holy Spirit in the new covenant. He has never stopped being good to man and he has made a way for the original relationship that he had with Adam and Eve to be the same for every man through my sacrifice.”
The way Jesus’ tone changed when he spoke Adam’s name alarmed me. There was a thickness and a weight when he breathed the name.
Clear trails began to gather in Jesus’ golden-brown eyes, shimmering like pools made of quartz. To my surprise he started to silently weep. The compassion in him was coming off like healing waves from a hot spring. The sweetness of it was like honey and the pained desire of it was almost devastating.
I remembered his tears when he agonized with moans from a breaking heart.
“Oh Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones God’s messengers! How often I wanted to gather your children together as a hen protects her chicks beneath her wings, but you wouldn’t let me!” —Matthew 23:37 NLT
In a split second, I felt the tiniest fraction of his deep compassion and longing for his sons and daughters. It was a sacrificial love, a love that laid everything down and spared no expense. I could hardly bare the strength of it.
“My dear, if you really knew how much my Father invested himself in you, you wouldn’t gape at creation the way you would gape at man. You would look in the mirror and never feel self-doubt again because you would know that I dwell within you. You saw a foretaste of redeemed creation in my eyes. The wonder of redeemed man through my eyes is infinitely better. Every man was made to be fully alive in me.”
~To purchase a copy of Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul, click here:
“As I read, I quickly became enthralled with this book, so beautifully written in the language of love. Each of these short stories so accurately reflects the romantic and wooing heart of the Bridegroom which draws you to Himself into a deeper place of love and intimacy. If you have not yet experienced romantic intimacy with God, I’m confident that this book will set you on course. It’s bound to warm your soul and whet your desire for your own heart-to-heart conversations and experiences with God. The author creatively ministers to the soul, bringing truth to light in the most tangible ways; you will feel that God is speaking directly to you, and He most certainly is! Some stories caused me to be drawn away into remembrance of my own experiences and conversations with God that have freed my soul; others caused me to reevaluate my heart’s commitment to my first Husband and cry out for forgiveness; and yet others simply took me on a delightful and exciting adventure of what the beginning of a holy, unadulterated love looks like – so refreshing to the soul! I commend the author for using her creative gifting to share personal reflections and heart intimacies which I know could only come from the deep well of Father’s heart. I highly recommend this book as a must read!” -Marina Garcia, Worship Leader
Right now I’ve been typing up a story called: Mr. Field’s Rosemary (one of my Jesus in disguise books). It takes place in an orchard field with a recently widowed woman on her way to Mr. Joshua Field’s cottage to cook breakfast for him and his six children. What Rosemary discovers is that Mr. Field’s is too going through pain. His beloved wife has run away from home again. This story has two big twists that leads to wholeness for Rosemary and the six adorable children she easily begins to love. I always ask the Lord to help me write and my prayer is that everything I publish leaves a deep, healing impression of Jesus’s love in the heart of every reader. I pray each reader comes to “see” the sweetly inconspicuous ways Jesus is hidden in plain sight in their lives and that they come begin to fellowship with Him daily. Enjoy:
While Joshua was gone Rosemary took some more sips of tea before admiring his kitchen again. She drank in the lovely decor and imagined his wife must have helped him furnish this room. Warmth from the pillar heat lamp rubbed her back like an expert massage therapist.
Rosemary spotted a bright gold chested hummingbird with shimmering emerald wings. It sucked sugared water from a feeder dangling from the paneled patio. The gold-flamed honeysuckle flowers glowed from the peeking rays of the sun. Their vines hung like a soft caress on the patio’s design. The edge of winter was waning and the waking yawns of spring echoed in the scenery.
Joshua announced his presence by softly clearing his throat. He headed for the cabinets, “coffee too?”
“No thank you Mr. Fields. Your tea is quite…perfect.”
Joshua grinned in delight, “I think you’ll enjoy the coffee more.”
Rosemary only stared…missing the taste of freshly brewed coffee on her palate.
“I feel like you’re a coffee drinker.” Mr. Fields stated before turning on the grinder. The inviting scents of the beans wafted underneath Rosemary’s nose.
“I do love coffee,” Rosemary confessed and then shrugged one shoulder, “but usually with a ton of whipped milk and sugar…among other things.” She blushed as she looked down at her belly and slightly patted it, “but I’m trying to lay low on some things right now.”
Mr. Fields gave a sympathetic look.
Tears threatened and Rosemary let out a cough to clear her throat, “I…I overate quite a bit after…” her voice broke. After my husband died, she thought. She shook her head before glancing up at him. His gaze was attentive but not forceful.
A long moment of silence filtered between them, with it, an awkward pressure to break it. Mr. Fields turned off the grinder and carefully made his way toward her.
All of the pain she was feeling was like an angry volcano in her chest. It threatened to squeeze through her throat. Rosemary gulped loudly and her bottom lip twitched. Mr. Fields stopped an arm length away.
She feared he would touch her…but more than that she feared the wrath inside of herself. She had never experienced anger when Richard died…only overwhelming sadness. The worst part was…she felt her anger was directed toward God.
What kind of Christian am I?
Shame flamed Rosemary’s already reddened face. Her jade eyes widened and she took a step back.
“Do you need to talk about it?” Mr. Fields asked gently.
Rosemary shook her head more violently than she intended, “it’s nothing I think would be beneficial to our working relationship.”
“But, would it be beneficial to you? That’s important too.” His voice was so soft it came out like a whisper.
She looked up and saw his beautifully warm eyes. There was genuine care sketched across his bronzy visage.
A thousand thoughts battled in her mind. But the longer she looked at him, the more her mind cleared. It was as if the soft peace she felt around him was being offered to her. “After…my husband died,” the words came out like the bite of an undying winter. Her shoulders shook and her trembling lips parted before a flood of audible cries came out. Joshua closed the remaining gap between them and wrapped her in his arms. She forgot herself and buried her face against his chest. He rested his chin on her head and embraced her firmly. She stood there in his shelter until she collected herself.
After becoming calm, Rosemary allowed herself to linger in Mr. Field’s supportive arms. She could hear his heartbeat against her ears and the faint scent of spikenard, saffron and calamus were blended like a colon bath on his clothes. Clearing her throat, she put a pushing hand against him and he released her immediately. Clear tears trailed her cheeks, dripped down her chin and splashed against her arms and shirt.
“I…”
He cut her off, “Don’t apologize. I’m glad you got that off your chest.”
She glanced away until he spoke again, “You don’t ever have to pretend you feel anyway other than what you do around me. I’m not unfamiliar with pain…or comfort.”
“Thank you, Mr. Fields.”
He held a hand up, “please call me Joshua. It’s more personable.”
She tilted her head slightly.
“It’s okay if you forget…but it’s another if you do it on purpose. I’m asking you to call me by my first name.”
Deciding not to make waves Rosemary nodded. “Okay,” she verbalized.
“Good,” He said and then only stared. The look on his face spoke volumes more. He desired to say things that she wasn’t ready to hear. Pain flickered in his eyes and then something else. A knowing she couldn’t discern yet it pulled on her soul like a magnet leading straight to his heart.
She sniffled and squinted her eyes in thought.
“I want you to feel like family with myself and the kids.” Joshua said and in her heart, she believed him.
“That is super kind of you to say that. I confess I think my time volunteering with you might unravel some of my emotions. I never meant to involve you in my grieving process, especially since your family is going through a difficult family time as well.”
“I believe this is a good thing,” he said confidently but not arrogantly. Rosemary waited for an explanation and when he offered none she shrugged, “maybe.”
Joshua turned away and went back to fixing his coffee. After pouring fresh water into a silver and black cappuccino machine he offered, “I can help you with breakfast if you like?”
There was something about him that made Rosemary suspect she would not be able to hide behind her self-imposed mask of calm. She trembled inwardly as she feared his peaceful presence would unravel the ugly things within her she had so desperately closed her conscious to. Vulnerability had never been her forte. Her history was marked with painful memories of rejection and scorn whenever she exposed the soft, throbbing, naked places of her soul. She couldn’t imagine Joshua would respond any different.
“No, thank you.” she said, wanting to put distance between herself and him.
Fear not, for you shall not be ashamed; neither be confounded and depressed, for you shall not be put to shame. For you shall forget the shame of your youth, and you shall not [seriously] remember the reproach of your widowhood any more.
For your Maker is your Husband—the Lord of hosts is His name—and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; the God of the whole earth He is called.
For the Lord has called you like a woman forsaken, grieved in spirit, and heartsore—even a wife [wooed and won] in youth, when she is [later] refused and scorned, says your God. -Isaiah 54:4-6 AMP
As always, may you enjoy the warmth of Jesus’s love today in familiar and unexpected places! For a romantic fictional book on the bridegroom love of Jesus, check out my book, Romantic Rendezvous for The Soul!
“As I read, I quickly became enthralled with this book, so beautifully written in the language of love. Each of these short stories so accurately reflects the romantic and wooing heart of the Bridegroom which draws you to Himself into a deeper place of love and intimacy. If you have not yet experienced romantic intimacy with God, I’m confident that this book will set you on course. It’s bound to warm your soul and whet your desire for your own heart-to-heart conversations and experiences with God. The author creatively ministers to the soul, bringing truth to light in the most tangible ways; you will feel that God is speaking directly to you, and He most certainly is!
Some stories caused me to be drawn away into remembrance of my own experiences and conversations with God that have freed my soul; others caused me to reevaluate my heart’s commitment to my first Husband and cry out for forgiveness; and yet others simply took me on a delightful and exciting adventure of what the beginning of a holy, unadulterated love looks like – so refreshing to the soul! I commend the author for using her creative gifting to share personal reflections and heart intimacies which I know could only come from the deep well of Father’s heart. I highly recommend this book as a must read!” -Marina Garcia
. I feel so blessed! This has been a two year journey and the manuscript is almost ready to present to publishers.
There is no lasting fulfillment or rest for your soul until it is found in relationship with Him. abundant life begins with Him. The bread of peace is in His hand and He’s a generous Giver.
