Comfort in a Rose

I wrote this story as a teenager, during the years of my new birth, when Abba first began to call me away with images of beauty that held spiritual concepts, and endeared His heart to mine. This story was taken from my book, Visions of Celestial Love.

Why Lord? With every step I take my feet embrace the soft, wood-brown earth beneath. Please answer me. This place is beautiful Lord, this forest is…enchanting.

The tall slender trees are spaced out so that they all stand comfortably apart from one another. The soil that feeds this forest is dark brown and beaded with white balls. It is soft, dry, and oily at the same time. I move the earth around in my hands and bring a pleasant handful to my nose. Sniffing it, I smell pine leaves with spring rain. I breathe it in and let out a long leisurely, “Ahhh.”

The tall trees canopy this forest, dappling my face with sunlight and shadows as I walk. Everything is quiet and still here. Nothing but the faint, low whisper of the wind through the trees and my own quiet breath and footsteps stir this forest. It’s wonderful, Lord. I smile with my heart, enjoying the slow-paced peace that surrounds me. I feel as if the world I am visiting is alive—but I do not fully believe it yet. I feel a divine Personality here.

I see up ahead a long bowl of water darkening the soil that outlines it. The water is clear, with a marine color, like the aqua band on my wrist. I walk, without thinking, toward the center of the pool. I see large, silver-color rocks; some have moss on their sides.

My right foot touches the water first, entering it, causing a dance of ripples. Nothing has ever felt so gentle to my skin, to my soul before. Water of life. The wooden bracelet on my left ankle gets a taste of this sweet water as I continue on. The wet earth that my feet embrace is a texture indescribable. It feels as if I were walking on wet silk. My toes wiggle and dig, covering themselves in sheer glee.

As the cool, enjoyable water reaches my elbow, I smile, and continue enjoying the fluid music it makes as I move through it.

Now I am completely covered, soaking in life. A bright yellow fish swims by me and stops for a moment to look into my maple, tea-colored eyes. I smile in the water, and the yellow fish with wide, blue eyes passes by. He swam so gracefully and freely, like drifting kelp.

The sand underneath the water is white like pearls, and the sunlight plays at the bottom of the water like silk in the sky. A large shark swims past me and I lift my hands to feel the bottom of his belly. Then a slender hammerhead swims past me.

A rose-pink jelly fish moves to the top of the water. As I near the center of the pool and look up, I too begin to rise. I drift up like a feather in the wind. My body moves in light and soft waves. My hair is dry as soon as it leaves the graceful waters. All of me is dry, except the bottom of my feet, which still stand on the water.

Only by faith can these things be achieved. I walk on, causing more streaming ripples that reflect the yellow sun to bowl out until they reach the end. My feet and body feel the warmth when I touch the familiar dry soil again, and I feel as if I have greeted a longtime friend. Bending down by the pool I cup my hands and bring the water to my face. After splashing my face with the water, I noticed the skin on my face was softer.

Why am I here? I whisper to the Lord. I enjoyed the land, but my heart knew not the purpose of my being here. My quiet spirit knew, but never spoke. Up ahead was a patch of eye-catching, yellow flowers grouped together. They were as bright as lemons, and as rich as sunflower petals.

I walked near, but stood back in awe as the flowers began to drift to the sky, dancing around in fanciful circles. They danced with one another, playing in the sky. Oh, how can my words describe to you such beauty? The appearance of them was like yellow glazed glass with fire inside. Moving along they floated, some in the sun and some in the shade.

Do you hear that? my soul whispers. I turn to see glowing butterflies equally as dazzling fly towards the petals. They blended in with them, so that I couldn’t discern what was petal and what was butterfly.

Spring grass scattered over the ground like the flowers, but most of the forest floor was earth and trees. I began to near a silver-colored rock and I slid down it before trotting again. Fluidly moving mist rested in this area of the forest and it sounded like celtic music to the ears. As the light mist thickened, I saw before me a rose, stretching up to the branches of the trees. The setting sun’s light colored the mist a warm, milk-orange and I started to climb up the rose using the thorns. They were like a ladder to me, and each one dulled itself, as if I were meant to climb this rose.

When my hand first touched the petals, peace fell over my body like a waterfall over rocks, soothing, and warming me more than any hot spring ever could. The extravagant patterns of the cream-peach texture amazed me. The petals at the center were smaller but all the more soft. I crawled to the center, feeling as if I were touching mist, touching oil, laying in silk, and moving in milk. My arms stretched out and my legs moved—feeling, moving, enjoying, and cherishing such a bed that wafted aromas from Heaven’s springs, from Heaven’s kitchen. Nothing has ever felt this good before.

The petals conformed to the shape of my body and enveloped me inside. I hugged a big petal and it felt like I was hugging a fluffy, white cloud. Not even water was as gentle as this. Each petal formed a hill, all of them together created a waving pattern. I soaked in the petals, becoming one with them and they with me, until my eyes grew heavy and I fell asleep, entering a world undefined.

After an ample night’s rest, I leisurely awoke to find the flower glowing as if the sun was inside. My cheek pressed against a petal as my eyes fluttered.

I had lost myself in the night. I had lost my fleshly nature—I lost every degrading lie I’d believed about myself. My spirit spoke to me as the flower lowered itself slightly and tilted so that I slid off. I watched the flower straighten again, but as I gazed at the soft petals I had just lain on, I realized there was a petal in my heart—a petal of peace, a petal of comfort.

Thank You, Lord, I told Him, smiling with closed eyes, I know why You sent me here.

My human eyes opened but my spiritual eyes saw now.


“When I read Visions of Celestial Love, it is as if I am brought down to my knees to worship. What the Holy Spirit has done in and through Ashley, He is doing also in me. What a wonderful experience. It is very rich. Thank you for sharing the treasure.”—Riko Suci Alam, CEO of Ligar Jaya and owner of Clove Garden hotel in Bandung Indonesia. 

Top photo by Jill Wellington from Pexels

Psalm 45

~The reason why I write is because I just can’t get over Him. He’s worthy of worship, and this worship heals the souls of men.

For the Pure and Shining One, by the prophetic singers of Korah’s clan
A contemplative song of instruction for the Loved One
To the melody of “Lilies”

My heart is on fire, boiling over with passion.
Bubbling up within me are these beautiful lyrics
as a lovely poem to be sung for the King.
Like a river bursting its banks, I’m overflowing with words,
spilling out into this sacred story.

Beautiful! Beautiful! Beyond the sons of men!
Elegant grace pours out through every word you speak.
Truly God has anointed you, his favored one, for eternity!

Now strap your lightning-sword of judgment upon your side,
O mighty warrior, so majestic!
You are full of beauty and splendor as you go out to war!

In your glory and grandeur go forth in victory!
Through your faithfulness and meekness
the cause of truth and justice will stand.
Awe-inspiring miracles are accomplished by your power,
leaving everyone dazed and astonished!

Your wounding leaves men’s hearts defeated
as they fall before you broken.

Your glory-kingdom, O God, endures forever,
for you are enthroned to rule with a justice-scepter in your hand!

You are passionate for righteousness and you hate lawlessness.
This is why God, your God,
crowns you with bliss above your fellow kings.
He has anointed you, more than any other,
with his oil of fervent joy,
the very fragrance of heaven’s gladness.

Your royal robes release the scent of suffering love for your bride;
the odor of aromatic incense is upon you.
From the pure and shining place, lovely music
that makes you glad is played for your pleasure.

-Psalm 45:1-8 TPT

~Top photo by Kaboompics .com from Pexels

He is Healing

~A short devotional on healing, written by Stephen McClelland.

Jehovah Rapha. “I WAS, I AM, and I ALWAYS WILL BE your healing.”

Let’s say my hands were covered in dirt, with motor oil, or something else hard to get clean. Or, say I had an infectious disease like leprosy. If I touched you with my unclean hands, you would be unclean where I touched you.

But when Jesus touched a leper, Jesus didn’t become unclean and infected. The leper became clean.

The leper asked Jesus, “if you are willing, you can make me clean.” Jesus answered “I am willing, be made clean.” And He touched him.

A God that is still able, and just as willing. You can’t clean up enough to receive Him, His touch is what cleanses you. Whether it is physical healing, or something else in your life that makes you feel unclean and unworthy.

Not a God that heals, but a God that IS healing. Not a God that changes your circumstances and makes things hard on you to clean you up, but a God that exudes cleansing from within Himself.

All it takes is one touch. “Be made clean and whole.”

Stephen McClelland is a licensed minister and a church consultant . A graduate of Charis Bible College. He runs a radio show in California called Encounter, where he retells amazing personal stories of people experiencing Jesus. He has served God as a preacher and pastor, with a strong emphasis on relationship with God and hearing His voice. He runs a ministerial website where viewers can listen to inspirational messages designed to mature believers in grace and truth. To visit his webpage click here

He is Good

The land was wet with the moisture of a previous rain. Blades of spring grass lush with life carpeted the rolling hills in a sea of emerald green. Trees splashed the mountain sides like jade gems. A translucent double rainbow bright like polychromatic flowers formed a crescent behind misty rain clouds. The rising sun shone and cast brilliant light over the hills that spilled down the mountains like gold paint. Everything was alive, lavish, delightful.

Creation sang like an echo of eternity. “He is good.” Everything He is displays goodness. How wonderfully creation reflects your glory. It shows what Moses discovered when You revealed yourself as good. His face shone and He trembled not to climb up the mountain that boomed with power because He knew the heart behind the power…good. Transcendent thoughts bloom in my mind from the beauty of your creation. Is this what your kingdom is like? Your kingdom of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit?

I smile as I realize…you offer eternal beauty in the hearts of men. You bring amazing comfort with the breath of your Spirit. Heaven has come to earth in those who are fully yielded to you. This is a matter of trust, this is an invitation to surrender. Seeing your goodness causes me to trust and rest on your shoulder.

I can yield, I can bow, because You are eternal beauty defined. I can surrender because You are light where there is no shadow and every good and perfect gift comes from your hand. –James 1:17.

~If you’ve enjoyed this short devotion, check out my book Visions of Celestial Love. It’s filled with mini devotions just like this one. Enjoy a cup of coffee, a pumpkin spice latte or a cup of herbal tea as you savor each moment with Father.

“Ashley presents us with a true cornucopia of modern psalms, personal testimonies, and short stories. She has set out to reveal and unravel some of the most complex heart issues mankind faces in our quest of understanding what true intimacy with God really looks like. Prepare to have your soul massaged and worked on as you read Visions of Celestial Love.” — Jeremy Minard, Founder of Servant King Apparel, Active US Navy

Responsibility is Freedom

“Responsibility is freedom.”

His words defused my bad temper like a whiff of warm steam meeting winter’s wind. My frustrations melted like butter smeared across baking bread.

Suddenly, I knew God was talking to me.

You see, only moments ago I was boiling with frustration at my bunny Charity.

I had been trying to potty train her for weeks and she was taking longer than expected to learn this “simple thing.” (Yes, you can potty train rabbits. It’s fairly easy actually).

Normally, I was very patient with her but I had grown tired of micromanaging her every time I let her out of her cage. Whenever I took her out of her cage, I would have to stop her from biting on furniture. I would have to pick up her poo and scrub her pee out of the carpet. I would have to stop her from digging into the rugs or chewing on the curtains, pillows and walls. (Yes, bunnies are pretty destructive creatures. But their adorableness makes up for it).

I wanted her to hop around the house because it gave her such joy. And it pleased me to see her happy and skipping around. She would dash from corner to corner and leap like a mountain goat. Her whimsical motions bubbled joy.

Because I loved her, I didn’t want her to be locked up in the cage. That was not my heart’s desire for her. But every time I let her out of the cage, her pleasure came at my expense. Her freedom was WORK for me!

Finally, after several minutes of frustration one day, I picked her up and placed her in the cage. I locked it shut and in my anger, I proceeded to give her a lecture (completely ignoring the fact that bunnies do not speak English). With my hands on my hips I fussed, “you know, if you would just poop and pee where I’ve been showing you, you could be out of that cage. If you wouldn’t chew on things you weren’t supposed to, then you could hop around this house all day and hardly EVER have to be in your cage. I would let you out all the time! This entire house could be yours freely if you would just grow up!”

That’s when God spoke to me. He came like a Father in loving correction (Proverbs 3:12).

His voice was full of healing truth, “I feel the same way about you Ashley like you do your rabbit.”

My breath caught.

“Father?”

“Responsibility is freedom. I love it when you are able to be free in my house because it gives you pleasure. But I have to follow behind you and clean up your messes.”  

I understood immediately what He meant. After all, I had just been through it with Charity (and suddenly, I was feeling more sympathetic toward her).

Now obviously I don’t scratch on walls, poop everywhere or bite on furniture like Charity does, but the analogy was cohesive to my reality during that time. I was attending Bible college, working as a prayer minister and my husband was about to start pastoring a home church. God was opening up his house to us in amazing ways…but He was saddened because He couldn’t allow me to roam freely in his home (at least not without a lot of tedious micromanagement).

“Everyone cries for freedom and desires to be free. However, most of us who cry for freedom do not understand freedom, or the nature of liberty. It is a tragic reality that we do not understand the qualifications of true freedom. True freedom demands great responsibility, accountability, a spirit of stewardship, maturity, wisdom and character.” –Dr. Myles Monroe, The Burden of Freedom

You see, as children of God, our Father wants us to play freely in his house. He wants us to enjoy every aspect of our inheritance as his child. He wants us to know that the God who owns the earth, sky, heavens, and all the gold and diamonds is our Daddy. He wants us to fully enjoy our life. He wants us to experience the abundant life Jesus died and rose again for us to have.

In God’s house, there are many mansions (John 14:2). In each mansion, we can guess there are rooms. In all of His rooms there are pleasures unspeakable because his presence is there (Psalm 16:11). As a child of God, you have been given the inheritance of Jesus Christ. (Romans 8:17). You were put in Christ and Christ was put in you (1 Corinthians 1:30 and 1 Corinthians 6:17). You automatically became royalty when you were born again (1 Peter 2:9). And the noun “royalty” always denotes a kingdom.

Did you know that you are a part of a kingdom? A heavenly kingdom that exists (and is very active) even on earth? God delights in giving you the kingdom (Luke 12:32). You are his precious child in whom He delights and loves. Like any loving father, God wants you to enjoy his house because it’s meant to be your home.

As with all royalty, you and I have great privilege but we also have great responsibility. In order for us to enjoy the freedoms of ruling and reigning in life through Jesus Christ we need to be mature. I am not talking about the free gift of salvation here but delegated leadership. We need to grow up by conforming to the image of Jesus Christ through grace (Romans 8:29). This growing up has looked a lot like embracing truth for me. It’s looked a lot like serving others and using my gifts and talents to encourage the body of Christ. It’s been a lot of bowing my knees to God in true worship by exalting his Word above my feelings and the philosophies of the world.

This maturing has yielded the most peace, blessing and immense joy in my heart. I can now walk through more rooms in my Father’s house without child-like “supervision.” Although I haven’t walked through all the rooms, I have much more freedom than I used to. And because of God’s grace and powerful transformation in my soul, I have now been placed in a small position of “government” in His kingdom (Isaiah 9:6). It is a huge thing to be entrusted by God to “tend his sheep.” (John 21:16). Tending the sheep for me has been one of the final rounded turns in the circle of godly love (1 John 4:6-13). The things that were once dreams in my heart are coming to reality.

My prayer for you is that you will embrace the process of growth in Christ. I pray that you will enjoy ruling and reigning in the area of jurisdiction that your heavenly Father wants to give to you. I pray you realize that you were predestined unto good works that God had in mind before you were born (Ephesians 2:10). I pray that you will see all your desires fulfilled by unifying yourself with Jesus and that this will not only bring you immense joy but draw your heart closer to Him. I pray that you will walk in the authority and power of the kingdom of heaven. May the earth see Jesus through you. May the world be blessed by the work of your hands. May the God of all hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope (Romans 15:13). May you never be lost in despair or darkness, but may the Light of the world (Jesus) shine upon you like the blazing morning sun. May all that’s ashes in your life be turned to beauty. May you recognize the royal robe of favor and sonship that has been donned on you through Jesus. And may you run your race to win. In Jesus name, amen. I’m cheering you on!

If you find yourself in need of some clarity on what your purpose is or if you know your God-purpose but don’t know how to reach it, I am a certified Christian Life Coach. I would love to partner with you on your journey to greater freedom. The King of Heaven is your Father and He has made you to display the splendor and majesty of heaven because you carry his image. More importantly, He loves you with an everlasting love and calls you to Himself. His plans for you are only good. He is not against you but for you (Romans 8:31). He never thinks ill of you. His thoughts toward you are precious and kind (Psalm 139:17).

Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers.  Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ.  This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ.  Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth.  Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.  He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love. –Ephesians 4:11-16

I’m proud to announce that Charity is potty-trained now!

Mineral Salt Reminder

How can you love God until you know how much He’s saved you from? How can you truly become an intimate receiver of the healing love of God?

I exhaled and my chest relaxed. Warm soothing water lapped at my waist and steam lifted creating an aromatic bath of citrus and Himalayan salt incense. I didn’t realize until then, that I had been holding in my breath. It had been a long 13 hour day.

My mind drifted and I began to play quietly in the water. I waved my hands around under the comforting waters in lackadaisical motions. I wondered why Father asked me to take a bath instead of a shower? I almost refused to obey Him after surviving a long day.

Have you ever been so tired and weary that you didn’t even want to do the necessary and most menial things in life? Things like, brush your teeth or put on your pajamas? Well, my friend, you are not alone.

“Why should I take a bath Father when I can just take a quick shower?” I whined like the toddlers I worked with, “all I want to do is shower and sleep.”

I was at my wits end. I didn’t want to be up anymore. I just wanted sleep.

But God knew I needed peace instead.

As the stress of the day began to lift off of my body as lightly as the mineral salt steam from the water, my thoughts cleared.

My to do list began to evaporate, my breaths deepened. I drank in the air around me in large refreshing gulps. Sweet air filled my lungs.



I became aware of my body, particularly my legs which stretched out before me. I swirled my hands around and enjoyed staring at them through the clear water. Becoming a little girl, I cupped my hands together between my legs. I enjoyed the smooth way the water made my hands look.

I began to lift my cupped hands until they were out of the water. I studied the terrain of my hands and inhaled the fragrance of mineral scents.

My eyes slightly flickered as the water began to drip through the cracks of my fingers. For some reason this both surprised me and displeased me. An unconscious mindset of control slowly began to surface. I dipped my hands back into the water.

After cupping another handful, I pressed my hands together more tightly and squeezed my fingers. My effort was strenuous and borderline painful. After several seconds of trying to prevent the water from dripping down, I gave up. God spoke to me in that moment.

No matter how hard you squeeze your hands together, you will not be able to prevent the water from slipping out.

Has God ever spoken to you and within one sentence you received a whole message?

I knew He had come for my soul.

I knew He was petitioning me to receive saving grace.

For the true Christian faith is to remain in the grace that saved you. Everything is by grace through faith. (Colossians 2:6-10)

I knew there was a secret place within me that sought to save myself and be my own strength. The undercurrent of stress that I had been feeling throughout the day, until now, was an obvious indicator.

I felt a sore place deep inside being pricked and my heart-rate rose. A dull pain came and with it an unsuspecting panic. My breaths came sharply and quickly.



The true poverty of man is not recognizing their deep need. Until you stop trying to save yourself …how can you truly glory with joy and worship Jesus?

In that moment I was reminded of the weeping prophet Jeremiah. I felt his tears and realized they weren’t really his…but God’s. Jeremiah was smitten in his heart with the passionate, pure and fiercely devoted love of God for his bride. He had leaned into the fabric of God’s soul so entirely, that he began to feel His pain.

I remembered how God began to reminisce with as much affection as heartbreak on His bride. And He asked with tears choking his voice, “what did I do?! What fault did your fathers find in Me that they have turned from Me and followed after other gods?” (Jeremiah 2:5)

I felt a lump begin to rise to my throat in the tub. I knew I had been drinking from my own cistern and it was leaving me deprived and poisoned.

I remembered that God cried that his people refused to take from Him what He wanted to freely offer…rivers of living water. Everlasting life. Abundant life. Life that was truly rich, lush and healing. His heart tore that they were dying from trusting in the works of their own clay hands. He wept for them, because like me, their wells could never hold the water that they needed to sustain their lives. They were dying and it was of their own making. It was because of their own pride.

for my people have committed two evils:
they have forsaken me,
    the fountain of living waters,
and hewed out cisterns for themselves,
    broken cisterns that can hold no water.
” (Jeremiah 2:13)

Have you ever tried so hard to lay hold onto something you craved, only to have it slip through your fingers?



I realized that Israel had tried so hard to recreate something that God had already made perfect. They wanted to be strength for themselves when He was their strength. They attempted to hold water for themselves when He is the source of everlasting water. He had perfect water for them. Cool water. Refreshing water. Rejuvenating water. Eternal water. There was a never ending supply of water.

But for some reason they put more faith and more trust in the power of their own flesh— despite the fact that God provided water for them from a rock as they sojourned in the desert. He supernaturally gushed water from a rock and divinely fed them in the wilderness for forty years.

But they did not believe that they were the apple of his eyes even though He had shown it time and time again. They did not trust that He loved them with a sacrificial love. They did not believe that He did and always had their best interest at heart.

Without believing the love of God you cannot trust Him.

No matter how hard you try. No matter how strong your grip is…the water will still slip through the cracks of your fingers.

You cannot try hard enough. It will only produce striving, and with it frustration.

Stop.

Relax.

Breathe.

Be.

Dip your fingers in the bath water with me. And realize, that Jesus is the tub that you’re sitting in.

He’s the Lord of more than enough. He’s the well of Living Water.

What areas in your life are you trying to perfect when Jesus has already finished it?

If you have any stress in your life, it’s a clear indicator that you are striving somewhere within.

I invite you to join me in opening up to God so that He can fill you.

I admit, I have not completely stopped striving. But I am learning to go to Him and let Him provide for me. We don’t have to be perfect. We just have to allow ourselves to be perfectly His.

He is our perfection.

He is our strength.

He is our source.

~If you’ve enjoyed this short devotion, check out my book Visions of Celestial Love. It’s filled with mini devotions just like this one. Enjoy a cup of coffee, a pumpkin spice latte or a cup of herbal tea as you savor each moment with Father.

Top photo by bruce mars from Pexels

“Ashley presents us with a true cornucopia of modern psalms, personal testimonies, and short stories. She has set out to reveal and unravel some of the most complex heart issues mankind faces in our quest of understanding what true intimacy with God really looks like. Prepare to have your soul massaged and worked on as you read Visions of Celestial Love.” — Jeremy Minard, Founder of Servant King Apparel, Active US Navy

Rest and Receive

Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Come to me. I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis. Simply join your life with mine. Learn my ways and you’ll discover that I’m gentle, humble, easy to please. You will find refreshment and rest in me. For all that I require of you will be pleasant and easy to bear. -Matthew 11:28-30 TPT


He calls the soul to rest and receive at the table of intimacy.

Let Him feed you with grace, for it is good nourishment for your heart.

He longs to serve you true riches, the bread of eternal life.

Let Him wash you with the aromatic waters of mercy.

He yearns for the fabric of your being to be so potent with His mercy that the air in your lungs becomes like sweet incense–constantly reminding you that your sins are gone forever.

Let Him heal you with love.

He desires that you be made whole and complete through His love. His compassions are kindled together for you.

Let Him free you with truth.

His truth is like the sun. Just as the sun causes all things on earth to exist and allows us to see, so His truth does the same. Only His truth shines from the heart and gives life to the soul, body and the lives of those around you.

Everything good and life-giving comes from His hands. He loved you enough to die for you.

He rose again and forever makes intercession for you at the Father’s right hand.

No detail in your life, no burden in your soul goes unnoticed. His eyes are constantly on you.

Because, He cares deeply for you ❤️


~For more information on my recently published book, Visions of Celestial Love, click here.

“When I read Visions of Celestial Love, it is as if I am brought down to my knees to worship. What the Holy Spirit has done in and through Ashley, He is doing also in me. What a wonderful experience. It is very rich. Thank you for sharing the treasure.”—Riko Suci Alam, CEO of Ligar Jaya and owner of Clove Garden hotel in Bandung Indonesia. 

Drifting Leaves, Drifting Thoughts

Right now, I just want a pumpkin spice latte (with real pumpkin puree), an electric blanket and my authoring buddy…my laptop. I’m thankful I have at least one of those.

It’s an early crisp morning in October. My favorite season has come. Autumn. As the weather cools my soul becomes warm in the glow of this solstice. It’s as if my heart catches on to the last rays of sunshine like a candle being lit by a match. I long to unearth the scents that make up my being as a candle does when it is flamed. The perfume of Christ in me mingles with my own recreated heart like clove and cinnamon in a coffee shop. I am perfumed with joy and peace.

Like the deciduous leaves that radiate ruby red, tangy orange and honey yellow, I realize that even in death, there is life. Fall has amazed me with its paradoxical differences: death, life, richness, reserve, copiousness, and hibernation.

For farmers, this is the season of reaping everything they’ve sown. It’s a season of abundance, like the day before the Sabbath for them…they gather double what they need (Leviticus 25). I always imagine the husbandry wiping their perspiring foreheads with broad smiles on their bronzed faces. All the labor and work they put in has paid off. Now is their time of holy jubilee. Profuseness that produces rest. I look at Fall this way too.



Except for the trees, Fall is the time to release the leaves that absorbed sunshine for them. Fall is the season to shed their beautiful garments in one last glimmering bang. As their cloaks transform into sunny hued tones, they drift away from their once secure branches. Fall is the season for storing, preserving and releasing all unnecessary weights. It’s a transitional time.

I love the way the leaves rustle and then float away in the frigid breeze. Wafts of something celestial awakens my heart even as I crunch my boots on the quilted patterned earth.

This Fall brings me the soft reminder that because of Jesus’s death, I have new life. Because He emptied Himself of His divinity and became a man (Philippians 2:7), I have been graced with the Holy Spirit (Heaven’s presence in me). The trees begin to look like gnarled crosses to my hazel eyes. The leaves on the ground become a showmanship of all the false and flashy garments of works-righteousness that I used to wear. I learn to let go of self-effort and embrace the rugged cross. My heart sees the cross as the beginning place of birth. One life was exchanged for another. And I’ve heard from Messianic Jews that Jesus was known to be crucified in Autumn…not in winter (how factual this is, I’m not sure).

May this Fall bring you the sweet potency of Christ’s eternal love and sacrifice for you. May this Fall bring an abundance of life in your heart (John 10:10) even as you die to the lies of religion that shielded your nakedness and shame. God’s love will cloak you in new light and new birth. There is nothing like releasing our burdens to Him, only to have Him give us weightless life and freedom. May your soul be wrapped in the garments of heaven’s pure joy and the sugary water of hope. Like trees trust in their leaves to photosynthesis…. I pray you trust in the true sunshine of Christ to produce the food of peace in your mind and heart.

~If you were blessed by this blog, you will probably enjoy my book Visions of Celestial Love. You can find more about it on my Books page, or on amazon. God bless you!

A Heavenly Lesson: Take Time for Intimacy

~A vision that I was given when I was a teenager and first filled with the Holy Spirit.

He offered me something to eat as I was reading, studying and writing down the Word of God. The countryside smelled of sugar and dust. Months ago, I had been taken to this cottage of a mountain of honey hay as delicate as a moth’s hair. I would stay here until the next Jubilee with this angel of light. He asked me to call him Offer or Promise.

            I imagined rain from translucent azure waters falling through the roof and creating pools and rivers of glowing water in the house. The hay outside, moved like ripples in the wind and made waves of gold with every sweet, wistful breeze. This mountain was the only amber one. All the others were lush jade green. Often during sunsets, the ones in the distance paled into a lavender purple made rosy with the hue and heat of the setting sun. These mountains seemed as soft as mist.

            I looked up from my work at Promise. His sculpted hand held out a pearly saucer with a tea-size emerald bowl on top. The bowl was filled with a white, pasty looking substance. Promise or Offer was beautiful and tall with long hair that shone like silver in the sun. His hair appeared as gentle as silk. His eyes were as majestic as thousands of mountains that touched the sky. Yet, his eyes were kinder than a mother’s love and deep with mystery. He often wore layers of clothes, all made for the flow of the wind. Today he wore a deep pine green robe with the floral words of heaven etched on the sleeves and hem.

            I took the food with a smile as “thanks” and set it on the polished wooden table. He observed my writings and circled around the table before sitting down. I felt celestial water below my feet. It lapped over my toes and was as soothing as spa water, but when I looked down, all I saw was the white carpet. I didn’t ask Offer what was going on. Things like that always happened here. Taking up a spoon, I dipped it in the pasty white substance.

            “It is food and drink.” Offer said.

I opened my mouth and ate. It was light, like fat-free yogurt and it liquefied in my mouth as if it were whipped cream. It reminded me of a flaky pie crust sugared with cinnamon and ginger. It was dissolvable because of the thinness. It slid down my throat like a light mist and it seemed to dissolve into nothingness in my stomach. Because of this, I took a big spoonful and stuffed it in my mouth before taking another one.

            “Easy.” Offer said.

            I looked at him.

            “Go slow, it is filling you,” he continued.

            I knew his words were true, but it surely didn’t feel like it.

            “You sons and daughters of men take in too much too quickly before you are ready. It fills you, I promise.”

            He folded his hands together and then quietly stood. Again, he circled me. This time slower than the last. I saw his eyes peer at my work again which rested beside the Bible.

            “Think of it as reading the Word of God. You must go slowly. You must digest what you read and wait for full comprehension from Adoni before you continue. Most people read much too much too quickly and then claim they know the Word of God. They form their own opinions about it, or they listen to the incorrect, hasty interpretations of others because they have not studied. They have not relied on the Ruach Hakodesh to open their eyes of understanding. In this too they become worshippers of themselves as they rely more on their mind than the mind of the Spirit. Or they choose to become wedding guests instead of the Bride at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb. Intimacy takes time…a life time.”

            His words were as pure as ice forming from a water cave in the arctic. “What are you saying Promise?” I asked.

            “Read it to draw closer to Him.”

            “I…thought I was.”

            “You wrote three chapters.”

            “I’ve been here for hours. Are you saying three chapters is too much?”

            He nodded.

            “How much longer will I be here? All this must get done before that.”

            “What is that to you? That “longer” you speak of? He is in the past, the present and the future. How then can this thing you know as time exist? Only He exist and He fills all.”

            Promise saw that I failed to comprehend. He sighed slightly and smiled fondly at me. Somehow his visage assured me that all would be well.

            “Our Lord will give you enough time. In the same way as He supplied enough manna for the Israelites, His chosen ones, to eat in the wilderness everyday…He will supply you enough time. No more and no less dear one. Just keep drawing near to Him with all your heart. Remember to soar, enjoy and cherish every moment. Allow yourself to be put in all the way, in every experience.”

            I believe I understood and nodded.

            “Yahweh is not looking for quantity. He is looking for quality. A small diamond is worth more than a hundred tons of fool’s gold.”

…to be continued.

~If you’ve enjoyed this allegory, you may like my book Visions of Celestial Love. It is full of lessons that God has taught me since I first surrendered to Him. These lessons often look like “word pictures” for me. And remember, above all He wants intimacy with you. He wants your heart. He longs to sup with you in the secret place. <3

Top image by Quang Nguyen vinh from Pixabay. I chose this photo because the sun is shinning behind these men and their feet are standing on a mountain of salt. It reminded me of what Jesus said when He called us, “the salt and light of the world.” -Matthew 5:13-16.

Proverbs 31

“There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” – Proverbs 31:29 NLT

One of the greatest compliments my husband has ever given me was comparing me to the Proverbs 31 woman.

I used to hate that woman.

I thought she was an impossible standard. The far-fetched, wishful thinking of Solomon’s mother. Now, I realize that I only “hated” her because I secretly wanted to be her but felt hopelessly inadequate. She was pie in the sky, a pipe-dream.

I still remember the night Stephen and I swung out of dad’s truck. It was in winter and the wind whipped at our hair as we headed into the grocery store. He peered at me as I strode forward with determination to be in and out of there “as quickly as possible.”

“You’re like the Proverbs 31 woman.” He said.

I was startled and slowed my pace. At first, I wondered if it was a joke. But I knew Stephen. I knew he didn’t speak frivolously.

“Really?” I prodded unbelieving.

“Yes,” he answered directly. He then went on to tell me the reasons why.

Recently, this woman that I once “hated” has come up again almost a year later. This time not to haunt me, but to encourage and compliment me.

Listening to the voice of truth has often been like this for me. At first, the truth can come across as harsh and hateful but really the very core of truth is unconditional love.

When God’s truth meets your ears, do you hear love or hate?

The truth of God is meant to do one thing…set you forever free. Selfless love will always risk being persecuted or hated by the one it is trying to help. True love risks because love is more concerned about the person it is trying to reach. God’s love speaks to you, to give you wings above the storm. His truth is brighter than the sun. His truth is honey to the heart and strength to the soul.

I used to live in a perpetual state of victimhood. If anything in life seemed too hard, I would spiral into a rancid stew of self-pity. In our second year of marriage, Stephen came home from work to find me in such a stew.

I was sprawled out on our bed…my head muffled between my arm and pillow. A flow of tears trailed down my cheeks and spotted the pillow and my sleeves. I was in a dark cloud of “why me?”

Stephen unlopped his laptop bag and set it down in the corner. He sat at the edge of the bed and put a large comforting hand on my shoulder before rubbing.

I shuffled his touch away and turned my head. I secretly wanted his pity but didn’t want to make it so obvious.

He asked me what was wrong and I told him.

He was quiet for a moment and then said something that made me want to smack him across the face. He gave me the truth instead of sugar-coating me with a poisonous lie.

“Is that all?” he asked.

“What?!” I questioned, incredulously.

“Ashley, I love you but I don’t feel sorry for you and I won’t. I have compassion on you but not pity.”

I’m pretty sure I flipped around and glared at him.

His visage was calm, his body unmoving.

“You’re not a victim! And I won’t treat you like one. You’re the head and not the tail, above only and not beneath. God calls you a victor. He’s already given you victory in Jesus over this.”

He bent over to meet me at eye level. His cold blue eyes were serious and compassionate. After about a five-minute lecture, he left me in the room to go relax.

I thought he was the most insensitive, cruel creature that existed.

He doesn’t love me.

I was sure if he did, then he would meet my emotional needs by “loving on me.” Surely, he could have at least considered my excuses (I mean reasons) for being in the sorrowful state that I was. No, instead he knocked them all down with scripture of all things!

I hid in the room for almost an hour, trying to defuse my temper and come up with a reason why he was wrong. So wrong.

Looking back, I realize he did love on me! He loved me in the greatest possible way. He gave me the truth to light my path. He didn’t coddle the lies that I was believing, rather he exposed them. But because these lies felt like a part of me, I thought he was attacking me instead of what was hurting me.

I know it can be difficult sometimes when we hear the truth.

It may not come in the way we want it. It may not even seem true. But I encourage you that those who love you the deepest will speak the truth to you. They will risk your backlash, they will risk offending you, they will risk your misunderstanding because they want to see you free. They love you enough to not protect themselves from you.

God loves you so much that he will attack every lie that’s holding you in bondage. He will come after every self-sabotaging habit. He sent His Son (who was full of grace and truth) not to judge the world but to save the world. The truth always saves. At the risk of the greatest possible pain and public shame, Jesus spoke the truth.

He sits in Heaven with permanent marks on his wrists and a stab wound to the side, because he loves us. He loved us enough to point us back to God.

The book of Proverbs tells us repeatedly that the main distinction between the wise and foolish was their response to the truth. The foolish will attack or reject the voice of truth. The wise will thank the person who spoke truth over them and then begin to apply that truth to their life.  

Because of God’s truth, I now have three businesses. I chose to cast off my victim mentality and believe that I could do all things through Christ. I chose to forgive those who hurt me. I chose to forgive myself. Because of God’s truth, I have been elevated in ways that would have never happened if I held unto those lies. I feel like I’m walking in the way of my destiny. I’m living in my dreams. I feel fulfilled and satisfied. My life is extremely blessed!

My hands are more busy now than they have ever been. Yet, my work is blessed. My work is gratifying because Jesus has shown me how to co-labor with Him. My work not only profits myself, but my family and even people around the world. I have received so many praise reports and “thank you’s” from people that I didn’t even think I touched. I can look back after a long day and wipe the sweat off my brow with a smile. I smile as the sun sets because I know the fruit of this labor will last into eternity. I smile because grace is pouring upon my head and shoulders like fragrant water from heaven. I smile because, I’m finally learning to lay down my life to find it.

~I pray God speaks the truth to you today that will set you free. I pray you live out all your God-dreams, not out of selfish gratification, but through an intimate connection with Jesus. I pray you discover that you are the cream of the crop, more than a conqueror and beloved of God. I pray you stretch your arms out wide and welcome the warm sunshine of truth. I pray all darkness flees from your soul as lies are dismantled and exposed. I pray you take off and soar like an eagle above every storm in life. I pray you know the incredible joy and peace that comes from being loved on by God, from loving yourself, and then loving Him enough to choose His ways above your own. You were made to fly. Your life has eternal weight. You are a treasure worth the blood of Jesus. You are a co-laborer with Christ. You are a queen and priest in Him. No bondage or darkness is greater than Christ in you. Nothing can separate you from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. God has a hope and a future just for you!

~For information on my Life Coaching services, click here. <3 We are better together!

Top photo by Rebrand Cities from Pexels