And now I am on holy ground. It’s voting season 🇺🇸 .
This space is sacred, how I vote has become worship.
You see,, I’m not for a particular party (I have papers before me representing the two main parties). I’m not loyal to the right or the left. I’m loyal to only One Person & as I vote, I pray,, open his Word and seek his guidance as I gather facts.
If you ask me to vote apart from Biblical morals in this or any election, I say, “I cannot.” To do so would be to deny myself, to detach myself from what is truest about me thus enacting a dual-personality.
Jesus is not just my Savior, He’s not just my Lord, He’s not just my Friend, He is not just my Big Brother…He is my Life. And just like God is faithful even when we are faithless because He cannot deny Himself…so I cannot break from the Spirit of Jesus at the voters booth (2 Timothy 2:13).I will not split away from Jesus and deny Him access to this part of my heart and humanity.
The idea that we as Christians ✝️ can vote in a way that opposes holiness (the Holy Spirit) is wrong. (Granted, all parties are FAR from true holiness and they all fall miserably short from righteousness. But which party is closer? That’s up to you and Jesus to decide.)
I like what Dr. Myles Monroe said, “the separation of church and state, is the separation of priest and king.”
We are not just priests (meant to keep our worship/convictions hidden away in the church, like the priests of Israel did in the desert. They left the law-giving to Moses,, who acted as a “king” while going to Aaron, their high priest for godly things). No, God had in mind from the beginning for us to be both priests and kings/queens (Exodus 19:6, 1 Peter 2:9, Isaiah 61:6, etc). And this is why king David (an old testament figure) was so famous. Because he showed the world the binding together of these two elements that would unite perfectly in the coming great King. David wrote the longest worship book in the Bible, and yet he also reigned in righteousness as a king over millions of people. Jesus sits on the throne of David -Luke 1:32.
Let me encourage you to not vote based on your gender, your race, your offenses, your own understanding…but to vote as if you were worshipping Jesus . I will not tell you who to vote for, only to set apart this act as holy.
I for one will vote as close to righteousness as I can. And I continually pray for leaders to rise up in this nation who are not loyal to money, to their own private interests, to special groups who buy them out, to lasciviousness, to their own lust for power and acclaim etc. But for leaders who are honorable, wise, and who will seek the counsel of God. Selah. 📖
“We need leaders not in love with money but in love with justice. Not in love with publicity but in love with humanity. Leaders who can subject their particular egos to the pressing urgencies of the great cause of freedom…..a time like this demands great leaders.” -Reverend/Dr. Martin Luther King Jr (a great recent example of both a king and a priest…he allowed his religious convictions to propel him to public service. And his actions/voice, changed our country for the better).
This morning I was reminded how much stability and security I have in God.
I placed my newborn between my legs and ran a finger across her tiny silky hand. As expected, she curled her fingers around mine with a “firm” grip. I smiled with pleasure as I studied her small, pale hands and the relaxed way she laid on the soft sheets.
After awhile of gazing on her in admiration, I slowly began to pull my finger away. She immediately tightened her hold on me and opened her deep blue eyes to look for me.
It was in that tender moment that God whispered to my heart. I didn’t hear Him speak these words…but the inaudible message was the same:
“Do you see how Elena doesn’t want to let you go? She’s holding on to your finger and searching for you with her eyes. This is how you are with Me. I have you in between my powerful legs. You are my precious child but you still don’t know just how secure you are with Me. You try to hold on to my finger to have some tangible proof that I’m with you…but you don’t realize that you’re surrounded by my presence already.”
Like my infant daughter has immature sight, to where she can only see so far (all infants are born with limited vision. It’s said that they can only see as far as their mother’s faces when they breastfeed), so I’ve been with God many times. There have been many seasons where I didn’t realize that He’s been there with me. But He always has. My natural eyes and humanistic understanding can never perceive or comprehend His eternal presence.
And while, I have a grip on his finger, He has a strong hold of me. You see my grip on his finger often represents all the exertion of my strength which is so weak compared to his. Truthfully, I’m incapable of holding on to Him (I’m just about as weak as Elena is). The good news is, He surrounds me with His strength.
This is how He is with all His children. Or at least how He yearns to be. As Jesus cried when He gazed at Jerusalem, “how I longed to gather your children under me like a hen gathers her chicks under her wings…but you would not.” (Matthew 23:37)
May you gather under his powerful arms and find yourself held and surrounded by his strength. He has the power to hold on to you even when your grip fails. And while you may be physically weak, like my newborn, your every cry pulls on the heartstrings of God like Elena pulls on mine. All of my power is used to nurture her and protect her…so God as Father, and the definition of love, will always use his power to surround you as you rest in Him.
“But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.” -Psalm 131:2 ESV
~if you were blessed by this short devotional, check out my book Visions of Celestial Love. It is filled with mini devotionals that are meant to draw your heart closer to your Heavenly Father.
~And if you haven’t already, subscribe to my blog to receive monthly inspirations! <3
“Ashley presents us with a true cornucopia of modern psalms, personal testimonies, and short stories. She has set out to reveal and unravel some of the most complex heart issues mankind faces in our quest of understanding what true intimacy with God really looks like. Prepare to have your soul massaged and worked on as you read Visions of Celestial Love.” — Jeremy Minard, Servant King Apparel, Active U.S Navy.
“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” -C.S Lewis
This morning I watched the sunrise. As golden orange rays began to melt away the cold blue of the night sky with delicious colors as rich as butter and cream, I saw the street light from across the road go out. It was once aglow, hanging from an iron, steely, grey pole. The second the sensitive and mostly inconspicuous sensors caught a glimpse of the more brilliant and superior light of day…they gave way to the approaching glory. Like candles become obsolete in the face of noonday, so do street lamps and every man “created” light.
This is how I feel mankind and all the earth will respond to the appearing of Jesus. Everything artificial, everything built from fleshly self-effort, everything made without the Spirit of God, will go out. And our eyes will marvel more than a babe from the womb looking upon the dawn for the first time, when we see his all-encompassing beauty, grace, power and life. Swept up in his love and truth, we will be able to do nothing but gasp in awe or silently weep, or lay strewn about on the soft grass as his glory rises to the center of the sky.
As He rises, He will give life to those whose bones were once brittle, He will give light to those who were blind, peace to those who were once traumatized, truth to those who were bound by lies (the ultimate enemy) and love to those who were enchained by fear.
“But, for my followers, goodness will shine on you like the rising sun. And it will bring healing power like the sun’s rays. You will be free and happy, like calves freed from their stalls. –Malachi 4:2 ERV
Jesus will show us the way to the Father. He will give more life, heat and clarity to the earth than the physical sun ever did:
As the rays from the sun highlight the beauty of the earth, like beholding beads of shimmering sunlight on the moving aquamarine and azure waves of the ocean, so He shall illuminate the world with beauty and divine life.
Without the natural sun, everything on earth would perish. The ecological system of this planet was built with a need for sunlight. Without it, all vegetation would die, all animals and cattle that eat vegetables would starve away and then eventually man would wane away as well, shrouded in darkness. As the earth needs the sun, so we were designed for Christ and God. Without Him our spiritual ecological systems are dead. Our emotional capacity for love is never truly satisfied and is like a grave yard. When He comes, He shall make the dead live.
My two-year-old has often said when she looks at the daytime sky, “ouchy mommy, sun. My eyes. Ouchy.” Unable to articulate the aureate-carmine glory of the sunlight, she expresses herself as best as she can to me (sometimes I wonder what we will sound like trying to express Christ when He appears. Like toddlers or infants lack the vocabulary to define mature things…so we will be at the fullness of Jesus).
I have often told my daughter in response, “if the sun hurts your eye sweetie, don’t look at it. It’s too bright for us to look at.” Like the sun is too bright for our physical eyes to see unaided so the glory of Christ is too incomprehensibly glorious for our carnal eyes.
I often think of the rapture when my thoughts travel to His second coming. Scripture says we will be caught up with Him in the sky and changed in the twinkling of an eye. In less than a split second our mortal bodies will be transfigured into immortal, glorified bodies. We will be like Him instantly simply from beholding Him. Like the sunlight blinds my daughter’s eyes but yet gives life to every function in her body, so shall the brilliance of Jesus cause those who belong to Him to die and resurrect in an instance. We will die to our blindness, to our limited understanding, to our false concepts and beliefs when we see Truth as He is. And once we see Truth, we will be flooded with the Life the Truth brings and be raised from the bondage of death in every form: physical, emotional, mental, relational, spiritual, etc. We will be endowed and infused with the ability to see our Father as He is and our Savior as He is!
God is light…in Him dwells no darkness. -1 John 1:5
God is love…in Him dwells no selfishness -1 John 4:7-21
God is holy…in Him dwells no evil/sin. -Isaiah 6:1-13
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” –Matthew 11:28-30 MSG
This simple visual of the street light flickering off as the sky became alight, calmed my soul. It was a beautiful reminder to me to rest in the light of Jesus, knowing that all my sufficiency is from Him.
I hope this word-picture has the same effect on you. May you know the joys of beholding his beauty. The peace that comes from his power. The assurance of his promise that comes more surely than the sun’s rising every morning. You have an amazing Savior, Lord, Friend and Lover who will never leave you nor forsake you. He will always give life to you and no matter how dark the night you are facing, his light will blaze through it.
Just as the glory of the sun outshines the street lights, so the grace of God in our lives overwhelms our weaknesses, our fleshly self-efforts and laborious striving. We don’t need to produce light on our own. We only need to let him shine his light upon us and through us. Rest and receive all that he is for you and in you today.
“A delightful book that reflects the praises from a heart that desires to abide closely with our Heavenly Father. Written in a style that summons us to experience a journey of deeper intimacy with a loving God. Ashley covers the foundation of the Christian faith that brings encouragement and assurance of God’s promises when faced with life’s challenges. Embracing our uniqueness and the safety of transparency before our Maker who cares about the most intricate details of our life. Yes, an invitation indeed from the One and only who can fill what are heart’s ache for.” — Jocelyn Reyna, Entrepreneur
~p.s: As some of you know, I am in the latter end of my 3rd trimester. My doctor informed me in so many words that Elena can come, “at any moment.” Her name means: light, brilliance, radiance. Because of her beautiful approaching presence, my world has shifted and slowed down in many ways. After her birth, I plan on taking a respite from my blog writing as I learn how to balance my days with two little treasures: Eden (paradise, heaven on earth, pleasure) and Elena (radiance). If you don’t receive any updates from me in several weeks or even months…this is why. I’m not sure how long it will take for me to learn how to peacefully manage my time, but until then…the grace and peace of the Lord be strong with you!
I know it’s hard for some to fathom, but it still exists today. Racism has no specific color that identifies the carrier of it. It comes in all shades. It’s a matter of the heart.
As unbelievable as it may seem, in 2010 I innocently walked outside my families apartment in California to wish someone farewell. There under a canopy of stars and trees, in the same neighborhood, I saw a man dressed up in a Ku Klux Klan robe. He had the pointed hood on and everything! His robe glistened in the barely lit darkness of night. He was only 3 houses down from me and was accompanied by another man who was leading him into another condo. My brain could hardly fathom the sight. Was I really seeing a KKK member in “liberal” California? Was such ignorant hate still being taught? When he saw me, he slowly stopped to stare at me. It was a cold and mentally shocking stand-off (to find out what happened from that encounter, read on).
When you’re confronted with racism how do you respond?
I was telling my sister a few days ago that our response to racism is comparable to fire. (When I say “our” I mean people in general).
We can either react to blind hate like a wildfire does—creating unspeakable damage, death and destruction in our life and the lives of the people around us. Or we can be like a campfire— creating light and warmth for those around us.
We can create a light that is inviting, helps people see through the darkness, gets positive attention, and creates a space for honest conversation. We can even be selfless enough to let others roast food over us to nourish themselves.
Incredibly, we can also be submitted enough to God to allow Him to create a control burn through us. I know that controlled burns are another type of “good” fire that governments, cities and farmers use to prevent future wildfires. These fires are used to serve the community and prevent death and destruction. They are powerful fires but not deadly ones.
As a little girl I watched from my backyard as a controlled burn was going on across the road from my house. Just across the street, standing dozens of feet above me was a fire that swept through acres and acres of land that was once a war zone. This fire that spewed smokey clouds and arrayed the sun in crimson red, was being used to set off hidden bombs that would have other wised prevented the growth of my community and killed innocent people. I was never once afraid of the power of this incredible fire because I knew it wasn’t wild…I knew it was controlled and being used for good. This fire to me represents a meek person—power under God’s control. It takes a lot of power to be self-controlled and submitted to heaven’s ways. (There are many good ways that fire serves us):
“Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.” – Reverend MLK ️
Racism does deserve a response. Just like any matter of injustice. It should be confronted, it should be dealt with and not ignored because it’s evil and like the devil: it kills, steals and destroys. Without a confrontation, it will do what enemy soldiers do to an invaded land. It is dark enough to evoke a reaction from the light ️.
The question I’m really posing here is: when you’re confronted with darkness (hate), does Jesus come out of you? When pricked with painful prejudice, do you respond like Jesus?
I know Jesus frequently dealt with people who had a spiritual superiority complex (his disciples and the Jewish people around him thought they were better than the Samaritans). They were also racially prejudice because they considered themselves to be pure breed while the Samaritan’s were mixed people (mutts in their estimation). No doubt Jesus was frowned upon by some Jews for his unbiased and loving approach to them.
Not only this, but Jesus was also guilty by association to some Samaritans. An entire village of Samaritans were so fed up with the snobbery and bigotry of the Jews that they rejected Jesus for heading toward Jerusalem for a feast day. They blindly clumped Jesus together with the other proud Jews they had come across– in other words they did the same thing to him that they were used to receiving (they misjudged him. It’s important to note that Samaritans were unwelcome to join in the Biblical feasts in Jerusalem. And if they did join, they were only allowed certain privileges. They were treated like second class citizens). In their detestment over His association with the Jews they missed an encounter with the healing love and power of God through Jesus. Instead of weeping for them, two of the disciples were automatically enraged and wanted to consume them by “using” God to call down fire upon the entire village (women and children included). This shows how gracious and inclusive these two disciples were. It also shows the condition of their hearts toward the Gentiles. Jesus rebuked his two disciples and revealed his heart in doing so, “you know not what manner of spirit you are of. For the Son of Man did not come to destroy men’s lives but to save them.” (Luke 9:55-56)
Jesus faced political unrest (the rule of Rome through taxation and subjugation). As a result, He dealt with the bitterness of the Jews who naturally didn’t care for him to heal any Gentile. Jesus also faced extreme religious bias and persecution by the church leaders of his day who wanted to use him to: either push their corrupt power agendas over the people through the use of completely unbiblical weights (rules and false commandments)…or else smite him. They actually sought to put their laws higher than God’s!
You see, Jesus understands the complex affects of racism and political oppression in a culture. He was often caught right in the middle of peoples stewing emotions, biases and struggles for power. I picture Jesus with his arms outstretched trying to include everyone and give them heaven’s perspective and insight. Instead of listening to him, most people just pulled on his arms, trying to get him to take their side. Like a tug of war rope, they grabbed opposite arms and opposed each other all the while seeking to pressure Jesus to bend to their agendas. They wanted him all to themselves.
Jesus knows the heart inside of every man (John 2:24). When he walked the earth…he healed both Jew and Gentile. If someone was willing to come to him, he taught them and instructed them in the way of love and Heaven’s Kingdom culture (which doesn’t allow for racism)
He understands the pain of oppression (he was born into a world ruled by spiritual darkness and the tyranny of Rome). Shortly after his birth, a massive infanticide was issued by Herod. This issue slaughtered the babies and children of thousands of Jewish people. Due to that, years of abuse, extortion and sometimes forced servanthood, the Jewish people were fed up! They cried out for a king to come to usurp Rome. They wept for justice! And instead of coming like a roaring lion, their promised Messianic King came like a suffering Lamb. “Behold the Lamb, who takes away the sins of the world!” Declared John the Baptist upon seeing Jesus in John 1:29. John had been trying to prepare/soften the people’s hearts through repentance (changing their minds) in order to receive Jesus.
Can you imagine their disappointment when they realized Jesus wasn’t going to wage a physical war with Rome and spill the blood of their enemies? Instead he would spill his own blood to reconcile all of mankind (even their foes) to God! If only their hearts were in the right place…they would have known through scripture that his first coming would be like a lamb (Zechariah 9:9).
Because Jesus didn’t fit their measure of a “great” king, they rejected him. After receiving his love in physical healings, after consuming his miracles (the feeding of the five thousand) and filling their bellies, their selfish hearts were roused to overrule Rome by using him. Like a wildfire only consumes, they were consumed with their own agendas. So much so that they went to “take him and force him to be their king” (John 6:15). Sadly, they were so fierce in their own self-centeredness that when Jesus began to try and feed them the spiritual food from his deep heart (the way of the kingdom and its rulership through meekness and submission to God), they quickly rejected him and some even wanted to harm him (John 6:26-71). Even his disciples wanted him to enter a physical power struggle with Rome, “Lord, at this time are you going to restore the kingdom to Israel?” Acts 1:6
Prolonged oppression and the sometimes subsequent bitterness that follows in the hearts of the enslaved can make the victims just like their oppressors, IF the heart allows hatred in: “Each day we are becoming a creature of splendid glory or one of unthinkable horror.” -C.S Lewis.
Jesus understands the things that happen to us are like the heat from the sun on our hearts. They can soften us or harden us: “The same sun that melts butter, hardens clay.” -unknown. Sadly some of the people around Jesus had such hard hearts that even seeing a man raised from the dead wasn’t enough to soften their hearts to him. They completely disowned John the Baptist and Jesus.
How is your heart responding to everything? Is it softening to the voice of God who promises to produce peace, selfless love and wisdom inside of you, which will bring about physical actions that foster transformational change?
You see, as a Christian, black person and woman, I’ve been discriminated against more than 99.9% of the people in my life know about (even the closest people to me). I’ve been called names, I’ve been physically mishandled (mostly in school, thank God), I’ve been left out and had anger spurred on me. In each event that I’m thinking of…I never provoked the mistreatment against me. I can, from a VERY limited place, understand why the Jews wanted physical and political deliverance (I can really only attempt to understand their deep oppression).
Like the disciples I’ve asked, “Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?” Little did the disciples know at the time that the way of the kingdom, which they would soon follow, would forever impact Rome. In fact, these men (after humbling themselves enough to be controlled burns) turned the whole world right side up! Heaven invaded earth wherever they went and Rome began to fall on its knees with each converted person. Asia, Syria, Greece, Ethiopia, etc and all the known world began to taste Heaven in such a way that it not only regenerated the spirits of men, but because of the moral change in hearts, it enacted real social change.
Growing up I was teased from kindergarten through the 10th grade (for numerous reasons that had to do with my appearance and quiet demeanor). I’ve wanted to react like a wildfire. But instead, I chose to listen to my Father’s voice and let him make a control burn through my life (not perfectly of course. There were times where I blew it). And in the 9th grade, I was awarded, “most likely to win a noble peace prize.”
I’m slowly learning to not see things strictly from a physical point of view but from a spiritual point of view. This, more than anything else, has helped me to “love my enemies and pray for those who persecute me.” Because I see them as lost, dying men or fellow Christians who are separated from Christ’s heart, it is easier for me to have compassion on them.
From a spiritual point, I also find my unshakable identity: I am complete in Christ, I am redeemed (bought with the highest price heaven could afford), I am a saint, I am the righteousness of God in Christ, I am made in the image of God, I am qualified for all the promises of God in Christ and redeemed from all the curses. I have power, love and a sound mind, I have the Spirit of God living inside of me therefore I fear no evil…man or devil. I am perfectly loved, treasured and valued by my heavenly Father, etc. I have heaven’s power to forgive. Because I know who I am, I can take positions of extreme meekness like Jesus did when he washed the (undoubtedly) filthy feet of his friends (John 13:3-5). I can be a campfire or a control burn. And YES, I can affect just political and social change (because that is VERY important too).
How I go about effecting political and physical change is different than some but trust me I believe in righteousness. I hate wickedness in every form: racism, robbery, murder, sexual exploitation, child porn/abuse, unjust scales, human slavery (which is still going on and very prevalent), etc. In my INFJ personality, the “J” stands for judgement. I love justice because true justice does not discriminate by unfairly favoring one person over another because of whatever reason. True justice seeks truth and enacts punishment on the wicked (who would otherwise harm people) while protecting the innocent. Jesus judges not by the sight of His eyes. He judges fairly. And all throughout the Old Testament, I see God judging for the sake of truth and the greater good of man.
We need people to rise up to take a stand against the crimes of humanity and systematic injustice in our society. What we do NOT need is looting, the destruction of private property and the killing of innocent civilians and cops! We don’t need people with violence in their hearts (hateful rioters) “representing” the cause of racial equality (because these people are wildfires and not campfires or controlled burns. And some of them don’t even care about racial issues. They are just hiding in the crowds egging on their own evil selfish agendas while committing despicable, heartbreaking crimes)!
If you’re wondering about the man in the KKK robe, thank you for your patience in waiting so long. We stood there staring at each other briefly. After getting over the shock of actually seeing a KKK member, I used wisdom and slowly turned around before heading back upstairs into my families apartment. The next morning I went outside to go to school and saw that the hood of my white dodge neon was graffitied in black with “K’s.” Instead of getting bitter, I told my dad and he took the car someplace to get rid of the “K’s.” I chose to brush off the encounter like a duck’s feathers repel water.
This is just one named instance where I have been discriminated against (there are others). Members of family have received unjust treatment too: I haven’t told you of the time where my sister (when she was a child) heard at a mutual friend’s house, “we don’t play with black people.” I didn’t mention the time where my sister had her change (coins) thrown back at her in a gas station because she’s black. I never mentioned the numerous instances where my father was clearly profiled by officers (I don’t have anything against good cops, I’m very grateful for them), or the time where my mother was cheated out of being the Head of Science Department in her workplace by women (who happened to be white) who conspired against her. I didn’t say how my heart felt sick when I watched my mom cry tears from childhood trauma shortly after my daughter Eden was born as she remembered an instant growing up that terrified her. One of her favorite country songs brought that sad memory to mind. She was one of 8 black kids who went to an otherwise all white school in the south. She grew up to like country music from riding the bus with her white classmates. I could only imagine her daily fear and apprehension in going to school.
Racism is evil. And I’ve met racist in black skin, brown skin, white skin, and yellow skin. We are not to judge others by the sight of our eyes but by the heart (the inner man).
So outer garments don’t matter that much to me when beholding a man. I don’t find fault with people simply because they are robed differently: police uniform, fancy suit, apron, etc. “It’s not a matter of skin but sin. It’s not about race but grace.” -unknown.
God clearly arrayed man in different shades because He likes diversity.
Let’s love each other.
~I just have to say, I love you no matter what shade God has adorned you in. I love you no matter what your past (it’s all about where you are now/ repentance). I love you because God has loved me and He clearly loves you. You are my brother. You are my sister. And even if you are currently an “enemy,” I will pray for you because we were all once enemies of God. And God displayed his love for us in giving us his Son.
Ashley xoxo
A Prayer for America
“America, my heart truly hurts seeing whats happening to you (both gross abuse from systematic judicial prejudice and misplaced rage from wounded people who have been oppressed for a long time). 🇺🇸
I pray great love over the hearts of the thousands of men and women who are angry and grieved (just like I am) over George Floyd’s murder. I pray for us to rightfully mourn over this tragedy and express our righteous anger (not just for his case but all the other painful and horrific cases that aren’t caught on camera) in a way that really effects change without hurting the innocent:
May God’s Holy Spirit open peoples eyes to seek his ways of governing above all else. May people have hearts for healing, understanding and wise minds to think of new reforms that will better insure the protection of innocent civilians and cops.
May the truly guilty and evil be found out and rightfully punished (let the innocent not be blamed). Let people with pure motives for good rise up and let those who are just using this tragedy to egg on their own selfish agendas be silenced. May our country move forward with new productivity, ingenuity, reconciliation and unity.
Let godly peace and justice reign across the land. Let wisdom rule in our courts and justice system, in Jesus name
Let real justice rule, let the cry of the oppressed be heard, let true freedom reign.”
~For information on my life coaching services, click here.
Be immensely blessed!
Scroll down to find a link to the worship song, A Better Way (about hearing the Father’s voice through Jesus). This song by Jason Upton has greatly blessed me in this season.
P.S: If you’re looking for where I stand on all the boiling issues currently facing America, I must say that I don’t have a particular group that I stand with. I am prayerfully asking Father for his opinion and wisdom regarding things. I do and will always stand with good cops. I do and will always stand with godly people who want to affect social change. I don’t belong to any specific group. Like Jesus, I’m willfully trying to not allow people with conflicting opinions and invested interests to pull on my arms and lead me away from my Father’s voice. Instead, I am humbling myself and prayerfully asking to be a controlled burn, a light in the darkness, a river in the desert and an unbiased judge. I pray we will all do the same . May God’s kingdom come to earth as it is in heaven!
Click here to listen to A Better Way (I own no rights whatsoever for this song).
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. -Psalm 16:11 ESV
It has been said that we as people will naturally gravitate toward pleasure and avoid pain. Could this be because we were designed for Eden (a godly paradise full of pleasure and delights)?
I’ve come to realize that there is immense power in pleasure, strength in joy and captivating glee in His beauty. Over a phone conversation, I admitted to my best friend that when everything else has failed to keep me walking the straight and narrow with Jesus…the pleasure has never failed.
When rules couldn’t keep me, when holiness couldn’t convince me, when not even a sense of right and wrong could oblige me…the experiences that I’ve had with Him burned like embers in my heart with promises of flaming joy.
I’ve realized Father has done something irreversible in my soul. He’s reached down in the core of my spirit and touched me with eternal love. God is love. Love is what man was created for. Once the creation has been touched with intimacy by the Creator a sense of completeness, peace and wholeness comes with it. A sense that can never be forgotten.
Through the hardest seasons of my life (some of them where I cried consistently for months) He’s kept me with beauty, joy and pleasure. Not with religion or anything that I thought He would use…but with music, with merriment, with whispered kisses and blessings in abundance.
I’ve found He loves color, He loves spice, He loves to see me laugh and He holds me when I cry. He’s more wonderful than Niagara Falls, more majestic than any patterned constellation, more fun than children’s bubbling laughter, more fluid and wildly beautiful than all the oceans combined.
I’ve been touched with a pleasure that nothing in this world can offer…but yet all of creation reflects His glory…His art-ship. And through Him I’m enabled to fully enjoy everything in this world that’s good to take delight in and relish.
No church service can replace personal encounters with Him and yet there are few other joys than fellowshipping with other believers with Him in the room. He’s not stoic religiosity but joyful freedom that fills the heart with love for self and others. I thank God for His joy and pleasure. David was right when he quoted in Psalms, “your loving-kindness is better than life!” (Psalm 63:3).
I’ve recognized through fellowshipping with Him that godliness brings substantial blisses that cannot be compared to anything in this world and that sin brings pain. Through His brightness and holiness, I’ve glimpsed His radiant heart. It is like a sparkling pool of everlasting love and goodness. His nature is good, His heart is good, His mind is full of nobleness, kindness and life-giving wisdom. There isn’t a single part of Him that is bad. And because of this, I can trust Him. I can relish in His kindness. I can feast off His bounty and I can enjoy life to the fullest.
“Joy is the serious business of Heaven.” -C.S Lewis
“This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” .-Nehemiah 8:10 NIV
“A delightful book that reflects the praises from a heart that desires to abide closely with our Heavenly Father. Written in a style that summons us to experience a journey of deeper intimacy with a loving God. Ashley covers the foundation of the Christian faith that brings encouragement and assurance of God’s promises when faced with life’s challenges. Embracing our uniqueness and the safety of transparency before our Maker who cares about the most intricate details of our life. Yes, an invitation indeed from the One and only who can fill what are heart’s ache for.” — Jocelyn Reyna, Entrepreneur
Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers and overwhelms all transgressions [forgiving and overlooking another’s faults]. -Proverbs 10:12 AMP
~This morning, during my devotional hours, God comforted me with this verse. He reminded me…that He’s not like most people. He doesn’t focus on the bad in His children. It’s easy for Him to overlook our faults or areas where we need growth because of the overwhelming love in which He feels for us.
He calls us worthy and delights to be with us. He has put His very Spirit in us and He ministers to and through us. Because of His love, He is relaxed in our presence- Zephaniah 4.
I realized God is not nearly as tight chested around me as I am with Him. When Stephen and I were dating…he was much more relaxed around me than I was with him. I would sit up as stiff as starch and he’d have his arm loosely draped across my shoulders. It was only when I began to believe him when he told me that he loved me, that I felt peace around him. I noticed all the kind things he’d do for me and that opened up my heart.
A week or so ago, my husband suggested I read the book of Proverbs. I was having trouble receiving correction due to some hidden insecurities based on lies. As I thought about interactions that I’ve recently had with a dear family member…I realized Stephen was onto something. So I picked up the book of Proverbs the next day (in secret because I didn’t want my hubby to know he was right lol) and since then I’ve found such little treasures in them.
My choice to be humble has lead to blessings being added unto me. The funny thing about God’s kind of love is that once it’s received…it purifies the hidden man of the heart. Behavioral changes become grace-charged…as easy as breathing. As one of my favorite counselors says, “anyone who doesn’t feel loved is going to be mean.”
I hope you find a treasure from God today. He’s constantly wanting to enrich our souls with abundant life and bless us with everything Jesus died for us to have 🌈🌸👑⭐️
~If you are in need of someone to talk to and confide in, I am a certified Christian Life Coach. I would be happy to be a comforting hand on your journey of discovering the love of God and his good purposes for you!
Photo created from the You Version Bible app
“Whenever I talk to Ashley, I feel like I can finally be myself. I am free to be transparent without fear of judgment. I can share deep secrets without fear of betrayal. In doing so, I am able to let down my guard, which makes it so much easier to hear from the Lord. God has given Ashley great wisdom and insight into His character and nature, and often when I speak to her or read her writings, I learn something new about Him that changes my perspective on a grand scale. I’m so glad that she has become a certified Life Coach because this is definitely her calling. Just being friends with her, watching her live her life, inspires me to go forth and conquer!” -Adelline Darsens, Freelance Editor, Ordained Minister, Worshipper, Former Middle School Teacher
…what are mere mortals that you should think about them, human beings that you should care for them? -Psalm 8:4 NLT
God showed me a vision of Heaven and how He created me…
I wasn’t planned.
I was an “oops” baby. Even more so, I was born a girl when everyone expected me to be a boy. To make matters worse, my mother had really wanted a boy. She had suffered a previous miscarriage of her firstborn son and she already had two daughters. Needless to say, my parents were thrilled when they found out they were having another “son.” They even had my boy name picked out and everything.
I first heard the news that I wasn’t planned by my mother. I was in High School and we were driving through Gilroy to go pick up my dad from work. It was sunny outside and shafts of light reflected off of buildings and bounced inside the moving car. My mom was in the driver’s seat and I was sitting in the back, quietly admiring the railroad tracks, secretly wishing I could be on a fancy train that toured the country. The lush green mountains behind us looked like misty jade carpet. Flowers speckled the field between the two like colorful paint.
I don’t remember how the conversation started but in that car my mother confessed to me that I wasn’t a deliberate pregnancy.
“You were a ‘whoops I’m pregnant’ baby,” she half laughed nervously.
I didn’t believe her so I pressed, “that’s not true, is it?!”
“Yes, it’s true.” She answered, eyes fixed ahead at the road. She said something to the effect of, “your sister was still very little and I didn’t want to have another baby so soon. But we love you Ashley. I mean what are you going to do when you get pregnant?”
I laughed it off with a wave of my hand, “I know that’s not true. And if it is, who cares?”
I knew my parents wanted me. Nothing in my childhood ever said anything otherwise. They loved me well and I was very happy to be a part of my family.
Thoughtless words can wound as deeply as any sword, but wisely spoken words can heal.-Proverbs 12:18 GNT
Despite my brushing off what I thought were frivolous words…her confession entered into my subconscious and grew undetected like a weed in the garden of my mind…giving life to other insecurities within me. After that day, I began to recall other comments that I had previously heard about my birth.
I remembered one time my dad voiced words that shed more light on the disillusionment that surrounded my birth. We were sitting at the kitchen table across from each other and It was supposed to be a joking jab at my mother…but it certainly didn’t feel that way. Those words were like palpable ice in my ears, chilling a place in my heart.
“You know your mother was disappointed after you were born?” he told me, his eyes sparkling with jest.
“Oh Ricky!” Mom barked from the kitchen.
“No,” I responded unbelieving, “why would she be?” My eyes shifted over his face, secretly imploring him to tell me that it was all made up.
“Because she wanted a son and the doctor told her up until you were born that you were supposed to be male. Isn’t that right Tee?”
My mom denied it in between fixing herself something to eat.
“When I came into the hospital room where she was, you weren’t there with her. You were in the baby nursery room. I saw your mom first and then I went to go see you,” my dad told me. “After I held you I went back to her. She was still visibly upset and so I told her, ‘Tee be happy the baby is healthy. I know you wanted a boy, but we have a baby girl with ten fingers and ten toes. Be thankful.’”
“Mom?” I prodded, unsure if I believed my father.
My mom remained silent for a few seconds and then confessed that she was surprised that I came out female (I could tell she didn’t like where the conversation was going and so I refrained from asking her any more questions). I had known for a long time that she originally wanted two boys and one girl…instead she got three girls first and then four years later a boy. Growing up, I also heard comments from my older sisters that my grandpa (on my dad’s side) didn’t fully accept my mother until she produced a son. You’ll find he’s missing in all their wedding photos. This was for a number of reasons I presume…I only know that he didn’t want my dad marrying her.
How precious and weighty also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I could count them, they would be more in number than the sand.-Psalm 139:17-18a AMPC
When I entered my teenage years, I began to eat without proper restraint. I stuffed my belly in an attempt to fill secret hurting places in my soul. As a result, I pushed the scale to 196 pounds when I was only fourteen years old. I felt bashful about my growing femininity and hid my maturing features behind frumpy long-sleeved flannel shirts (from the men’s department) and dark jeans. I hated wearing dresses and skirts and only did so when I went to church. I didn’t think I was very attractive as a girl and so when any boy would show me interest, I would shut it down immediately by just ignoring him. Even though I liked guys, I wouldn’t allow myself to even think about being pursued because I didn’t measure myself as beautiful. I found it much easier to play with my younger brother Alex, than to engage in pubescent talk with my sisters.
Then one faithful day, after a few years of obvious pursuit, God won me over. I had been ignoring his pursuit just like I had been shunning any boy who showed interest in me. I didn’t think I was beautiful enough for God either.
One morning, I woke up to an empty house (this wasn’t uncommon as I used to sleep until noon back then…a sure sign of depression). I moseyed my way to the household computer and began perusing YouTube to watch cartoons. In the side panel, was a video by a woman I had never seen before. Her name was Joyce Meyer and the title of the video was, Your Self Image and Your Future. Something about the video sparked my interest and I clicked on it. As Joyce began to talk, the power of the Holy Spirit became tangible in the room. Joyce quoted many scriptures about the love of God and how He created everyone special and beautiful on purpose. What baffled me and brought me to my knees in His presence in true repentance for the first time, was when she said that He thought better of me than I did myself. The thought of God placing that much value on my life astounded me. Tears welled my eyes and I threw my hands up in true surrender. “God, I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you for all these years,” I sobbed, “please forgive me! Jesus, please come into my heart and be my Lord and Savior.”
I finally threw my life on His shoulders that morning. Abandoning myself completely to Him.
What happened next is a little bit unbelievable to some. I saw what looked like white translucent rain falling through the ceiling into the room. It was as if I wasn’t alone. Then I felt a cloud expanding in my chest. As it expanded I felt peace. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was filled with the Holy Spirit that very second. From that day on, a voice started speaking from within me and leading me into an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. I had new desires (proof that I was born again) and unspeakable joy. After that, I read through the entire Bible, I had several angelic encounters, visions, I experienced inner healing and was even delivered from a spirit of anger without any deliberate effort on my part. The Lord began to encourage me to buy bright colored skirts (purple was by far my new favorite color). Before, I had hated the idea of wearing skirts because somewhere deep inside I hated myself and didn’t think I deserved to be donned in anything lovely.
I listened to Jesus and soon my entire wardrobe changed. My mannerisms were transformed and eventually my brother started calling me a, “girly girl.” God filled with me such self-love that I began to exercise and eat healthy without anyone coaxing me to. My grades in school went up and for the first time, I was on the honor roll. Within a year I was at a balanced weight. I then became less self-centered and started helping others on purpose. I dove into ministries of all kinds and began a homeless ministry of my own. I began to live at church and soon my entire family was going with me.
Despite all these positive changes, God still wanted to heal the hidden place in my mind where I doubted my self-worth due to hearing that I was, “supposed to be a boy.” At this point, I didn’t think it mattered. I felt like I was cruising through life, but God knew that this place inside of me was still unhealed.
My frame was not hidden from You when I was being formed in secret [and] intricately and curiously wrought [as if embroidered with various colors] in the depths of the earth [a region of darkness and mystery]. Your eyes saw my unformed substance, and in Your book all the days [of my life] were written before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them. -Psalm 139: 15-16 AMPC
One morning I was sitting in my friend Alice’s house and reading a book by Dr. Charles H Kraft called, Deep Wounds, Deep Healing. As my eyes scanned over a few lines, a picture began to play before me. It was so real, it was as if I were watching a movie! I saw Heaven. Gorgeous clouds the color of burning diaphanous gold and peach were in the background. They reminded me of sparking marble pillars. The light from behind was bright and beautiful. In the forefront of the vision was God and in his hand was a ball of gossamer rainbow colored yarn. He began to knit something together. His eyes twinkled with pleasure as He worked. After He was done, He leaned over Heaven and I saw the earth, glowing with its diffuse aurora. God was so BIG in comparison with the world. His largeness stunned me. He scanned the earth until He found a certain woman and with beaming joy He shot his hands forth and put the yarn within her.
Instantly, I had a microscopic view of this woman’s womb. I saw God tenderly wrap the yarn in her amniotic fluid. He caressed the growing baby within her with a gentleness I didn’t think was possible. I was now in her womb and I could hear His voice speaking over me. His words were a little muffled due to the liquid but I remember hearing things like, “I love you forever.” “I made you on purpose.” “You are special to me.” “I value you.” “You are precious in my eyes.” His words coated me as I grew. Soon things began to get a little tight and I saw myself being squeezed through my mother’s birth canal. The light in the hospital affronted my eyes and I squinted them only to find large hands opened wide to receive me. They were God’s hands.
He took hold of me and immediately I was shot back up to Heaven. For some reason, I wasn’t the subject in the vision anymore but I was once again watching the vision like a person in a theater. I saw three Beings who looked exactly alike. I instinctively knew that one was God the Father, one was Christ the Son and the other was the Holy Spirit They all had an amazing smile on their faces. The One in the middle held me while the other two clapped their hands, danced with glee and rejoiced over me. The One who held me began to bounce me up and down, like a father would. I could hardly believe the celebration they were having. I was rocked and cradled and after a few seconds more, the vision ended.
I was so stunned afterward, that I just silently sat in my friend’s living room for a few minutes reflecting on what had just taken place. In those moments, God had covered and washed away the pained memory that was engraved in my self-conscious. It no longer mattered that my mother might have not wanted to coddle me close and long after my birth. Because I saw God’s hands were waiting for me the second I was delivered. He wanted me. He had made me a woman on purpose. And I knew He wasn’t responsible for any pain that I had experienced in life…yet despite his lack of fault, He wanted to heal the faults of others that had tore me, including my own.
In that vision, I saw God sew me together…intricately, tenderly and beautifully. That’s what He wants to do with every fraying edge of your life. That’s what He wants to do with every torn or shredded place within your soul. He wants you to realize that you are a masterful tapestry. That you are specially made. That your life is unique and designed by the most loving hands. You were fashioned on purpose. And He is pursuing you for your good because of His deep love for you.
Dear one, no matter what wounds you may have on the inside, He is your everlasting cure. He will never withhold good from you. He delights in your wholeness and in your well-being. He is never the source of your pain, but He is your ever-present promise of healing. I share this story in hopes that God will minister to the hearts of people who doubt the preciousness of their creation. You were not born the wrong the gender or color. You are incredibly wonderful to Him and you have measureless worth in His eyes:
~For a healing video titled the Father’s Love Letter, click here.
~If you’d like to hear me share this testimony through a radio interview on KKMC 880AM, click here. (It will be the first audio)
Dear reader, I know some of you may be experiencing more uncertainty in this time than ever before. I pray your hearts have been encouraged through reading this! I read a few weeks ago, that abortions are spiking up during this time of crisis and that come October there will be thousands of potential late term abortions. If you have the means to, I want to encourage you to help the pregnant women who are fearful right now. I ask you to reach out to them in any way that you can (no matter how small). I know some women are afraid of financial ruin if they have their baby, I know some women are suffering from lack of employment, poverty, domestic abuse, self-rejection, anxiety and other factors that are tied to this national crisis. Please pray for them and if you can support ministries that help women facing an unwanted pregnancy. I truly believe that the love of God is strong enough to not only care for babies but their mothers as well. No one is invaluable to Him. No life is without extreme beauty to Him. We are worth more than the gold in heaven to Him. Together, we can be examples of his love and save lives. Below is a list of a few ministries you can partner with:
~Also, if you are a woman who has had an abortion, please know, I am not, nor will I ever be anything but loving toward you. I’ve prayed with several post-abortive women. Jesus loves us all just the same…no matter where we’ve been. He died for everyone. If you need healing, counseling or someone to talk to, please seek care from a trusted source. xoxo
~At the time of this post, I am currently in my third trimester and having another girl. I’m so grateful to God to be able to nourish and cherish my daughters. Even though I have received a few innocent comments (made with no harm intended) that people were hoping I would have a boy…I am thankful. As long as my daughters (and future children) are healthy and know how much God loves them, then I’m happy. All lives are a blessing.
One Last Note: It was very hard for me to write this. I confess, I never wanted to share this story because I don’t want anyone thinking ill of my parents or my family. They have truly never done anything to make me feel unloved or unwanted. Their actions were always that of love and acceptance. In fact, they set me up for my Christian heritage. When we were all babies, my dad held all of us up in his arms and dedicated us to God. Before we were born, my mother prayed as a young woman that all of her children would know God and love Him. God answered my parents’ prayers. My siblings and I have all had an encounter with God and we all love Him now. If it weren’t for my parents I fear where my siblings and I would be. They taught us that Jesus was real and they spent their lives giving us the best life! I am so grateful for their prayers and the way they continue to pray today. My grandpa, who at first rejected my mother, saved us from financial ruin for over a year when my parents were struggling. He paid our rent and he has done many things like this. I don’t come from a perfect family but I come from a family who loves God and that is the greatest gift. I only pray these words will save lives by testifying about God’s super abounding grace.
~ “Visions of Celestial Love is a book of inspiring quotes and beautiful prose about God’s unconditional love for mankind. The insights of this book help us to understand that it was the Father’s great love for us that made a way for us to have life together with His Son, Jesus Christ. Through it we get a glimpse into the true meaning of Christ’s sacrifice of love expressed through His death, burial and resurrection as God’s magnificent gift of grace to us. His blood made it possible for all those who put their faith in Him to have fellowship with His Father again.
I am confident that at the completion of this book, you will also seek after God with your whole heart and want to be in His presence forever.” —Alice Paige, True-Heart friend of author
I am learned by you beautiful and in the quiet recesses of my soul something glimmering is shinning forth.
Breaking free from frozen earth to meet the sun gazed stare of your eyes as you call what was once hidden so deeply within me to arise.
Someone divine beckons me forth through your voice coated with Truth.
Someone who has seen me from all eternity and loved me wholly.
He has been pleading and using every ploy to free me from self-chains and in the array of His grace I find myself becoming comfortable in the safe alcove of love once more.
Quietly I am becoming happy to be me as I see who God has made me to be.
She is beautiful Lord and she reflects You so perfectly, yet so uniquely.
You introduce me to myself again.
Special thanks to my husband for being a vessel that draws me out of hiding
“When I read Visions of Celestial Love, it is as if I am brought down to my knees to worship. What the Holy Spirit has done in and through Ashley, He is doing also in me. What a wonderful experience. It is very rich. Thank you for sharing the treasure.”—Riko Suci Alam, CEO of Ligar Jaya and owner of Clove Garden hotel in Bandung Indonesia.
-Afterward the sons of Israel will return [in deep repentance] and seek the Lord their God and [seek from the line of] David their king [the King of kings—the Messiah]; and they will come trembling to the Lord and to His goodness and blessing in the last days. -Hosea 3:5
I had forgotten how good You are…the rediscovery of it has been sweet, refreshing, and life-giving.
I cry as I eat of your goodness, knowing my soul had been so starved of it before.
And finally eating home, eating love, eating peace, and eating joy, my heart revives.
I am a kid in the infinite berry-fields of your goodness and every colorful fruit is for my enjoyment.
You say, “taste and see that I Am good.”
I’m awakened to the reality that your plans are for my prosperity, for life, for wholeness, for my entire well-being, for joy unspeakable and abundant love eternal.
I lie still in the waterfalls of your affections and finally allow You to pour out the streams of your pleasures upon my head and drench my body and soul in celestial cure, health and love.
For so long I was stiff, afraid of the power of your goodness.
Now…I let You sing over me.
My older sisters have told me a story (over and over again) about how when I was a little girl a friend of theirs raced them up a mango tree to grab the juiciest mango on top (this was when we lived in the Bahamas). They said they had all wanted that mango so bad, but he had gotten to it first.
When he came down the mango tree he gave that prized mango to me and I sat down on the hot cement and began to bite into it.
My sisters always describe the mango juice running down my lips and dripping down my chest, even onto my legs and the ground. “You were swimming in mango juice.”
Jesus, I feel like I’m biting into the juiciest fruit again.
Only now….it’s fruit from your tree…from your heart.
It’s fruit that I haven’t earned but that you’ve won for me.
And it’s a never ending song…singing over me.
Water to dry-cracked ground, rain to my skin.
Your mercy and loving-kindness, O Lord, extend to the skies, and Your faithfulness to the clouds.
Your righteousness is like the mountains of God, Your judgments are like the great deep. O Lord, You preserve man and beast.
How precious is Your steadfast love, O God! The children of men take refuge and put their trust under the shadow of Your wings.
They relish and feast on the abundance of Your house; and You cause them to drink of the stream of Your pleasures.
For with You is the fountain of life; in Your light do we see light.
~ “Visions of Celestial Love is a book of inspiring quotes and beautiful prose about God’s unconditional love for mankind. The insights of this book help us to understand that it was the Father’s great love for us that made a way for us to have life together with His Son, Jesus Christ. Through it we get a glimpse into the true meaning of Christ’s sacrifice of love expressed through His death, burial and resurrection as God’s magnificent gift of grace to us. His blood made it possible for all those who put their faith in Him to have fellowship with His Father again.
I am confident that at the completion of this book, you will also seek after God with your whole heart and want to be in His presence forever.” —Alice Paige
xoxo
