Category: Blog

Knowledge without power bespeaks a lack of intimacy.

Just as natural as it is for the union of a husband and wife to produce a new creation, so natural it is for intimacy with Jesus to produce the power of God’s kingdom.

Truth received in the heart will always perfume the scent of the Man of Truth.

The wonders of communion with him looks like being naked and unashamed. There is no area of him that I don’t want to see. There is no area in me that I conceal from him.

Everything is laid bare before him. We are in covenant. All that he is is mine and all that I am is his. This is what marriage is. The two shall become one flesh, so that they are no longer two but one (Mark 10:8). “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:32 ESV).

When I was a new wife, I was naked and ashamed. My husband desired to see me. His desire was natural, good and even holy blessed by God. Because his desire reflected the level of knowledge that God wanted with me. This sort of thinking used to be sacrilegious to my previous legalistic mindset. But now I know better.

There came a point in my walk with God where I realized my fear of vulnerability was really self-preservation in disguise. Selfishness will always be a stumbling block to experiencing true love. If I have any fear of being transparent before my husband it is because I am self-focused (or self-centered) and thus fearful. But in God’s perfect love there is no fear (1 John 4:18). There is no room for the old self in the new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Do you know what that means?

Jesus hung on a cross…in public…naked. (I wish you could read that as slowly as it takes to truly understand it).

He was executed in way that was meant to bring him the most shame. His enemies were true sadists. They enjoyed seeing people tortured– It gave them a sick kind of pleasure.

I’ve never seen a movie where the actor playing Jesus was stripped completely naked. I’ve seen several movies where the actor was brutally beaten. I’ve seen movies where the actor’s skin was shredded and floods of blood trailed down. I’ve seen men try and portray the internal agony of Jesus. I’ve seen movies where “Jesus” wept bitterly and even church publicized screenings where Jesus bore the judgement of God for our sins in the spiritual realm. These screenings of “Jesus” taking on the curse of the law come the closest (in showing not only the physical beating but the spiritual transaction that took place). But I have yet to see an actor agree to be stripped naked on the screen.

Why do you think that is?

There is something in the heart of man that fiercely fears nakedness! I’m not talking about casual sex here, our culture is filled with the filth of that, but I’m speaking of the unfolding of oneself to another in true unashamed exposure.

There is a fear that fights for the last remaining terrain in your soul. It fights to keep the flag of freedom from waving the heavenly fragrance of myrrh in your heart. It fights to keep God out and it fights to keep you in bondage.

This fear is self.

When Jesus hung, naked on that cross for you he took away the shame of being naked.

If he could become naked for us, then we can become naked for him.

He invites us to be naked and unashamed.

There came a point in my Christian walk where I desired to know Jesus as he is. I yearned to worship him in spirit and in truth.

I didn’t want knowledge without union with him because it was self worship.

It was safe religiosity; like kissing a picture of my husband while the real man was standing before me. I wanted intimacy with a Person not intimacy with words.

Sometimes when people read my writing about Jesus, they become uncomfortable:

Wine and milk? Candlelight dinners? Anointing oil on skin? Bread and cheese? Kisses from scripture? Song of Solomon sonnets to Christ?

I wonder if some people find my words too risky, too unorthodox, too sacrilegious?

I’ve discovered that it takes more “gut” to be married to Jesus than my husband Stephen. The level of union is far greater. While my husband and I can and do become one in body, soul and sacrificial love…our unity isn’t indwelling. I can leave his side and go to the grocery store while he remains at home with our daughters. Yet, my unity with Jesus is inseparable. He lives inside of me. It doesn’t just happen in a moment of ultimate vulnerability–like when husband and wife make love. But He circumcised my heart and moved in (Romans 2:29 and Ephesians 3:17).

All circumcisions spill blood.

In my marriage with Stephen, my blood was shed when we first consummated our holy covenant. When Jesus consummated his marriage to the church, he bled profusely on a tree. When Jesus moved inside of me, my heart became the womb of his seed (Matthew 13:1-23, 1 Peter 1:23). When I said “I do” to Jesus my heart was circumcised. The blood of my old man was spilt open unto death and I became a new creation–one molded and tailored to be his wife. I was instantly recreated by God to be compatible for his Son.

In the same way that God looked for a spouse for his “first” son Adam and didn’t find one, so He looks for a bride for Jesus (Genesis 2:18). In the same way He created Eve out of the body of Adam, He created the church out of the body of Jesus Christ (Genesis 2:22-24 and Ephesians 2:10).

You see, in the same way that I can’t truly love someone unless I know them, so we cannot truly love God unless we know him.

Years ago I realized that I had a “religious” love for God.

It would be shallow for me to walk up to a casual acquaintance and say, “I love you.” This kind of love isn’t based on knowledge. This person is very unlikely to feel safe before me. Because love is based on trust and trust is based on truth. Without truth there isn’t light (1 John 1:5-6 and John 5:33-35). Without light, there is blindness. I can’t fully enjoy getting to know my husband if we only talked, hugged or kissed in the dark. If I truly love him, then I want to see him. I want to get to know him in the light. I want to look him in the eyes, read his facial expressions, see his smile. I would want to study the terrain of his face, the way lines form on the edge of his eyes when he smiles. I’d want to study him and through that visual study I would become aware of things–like the way he strokes his chin when he’s thinking.

For the past year or so of my life, I have become desperate for truth. I have cried out for wisdom, knowledge and understanding. I have become panged for the desire to see life the way God sees it, regardless of societal norms, philosophies, and pipeline virtue. I have surveyed the world’s definition of social justice and considered it deplorable suffocating ashes compared to the vibrant, pure light of God’s truth.

Throughout this season, I have seen these eternal truths like jewels in the robe of faith-righteousness that the Holy Spirit has donned me in. This heavenly decoration has caused me to appreciate the book of Psalms (particularly Psalms like Psalm 119) and Proverbs in fresh ways I haven’t before. I have found vibrant pearls of life in His Word and I pray this continues on until I am found to be one who is “after His heart” (1 Samuel 13:14) and until I honor, esteem and submit to my Father’s words as much as Jesus did when He walked the earth as the Son of Man (Isaiah 7:14-15 and John 5:30).

I don’t know how to fully express in words, this level of intimacy with Christ. This garden of Eden relationship with God that I have longed for and prayed for and still seek (I am learning how to surrender).

Lately, I have sensed the promptings of the Holy Spirit in a deep and new way, Just a couple of weeks ago, I felt the grief of the Holy Spirit standing outside Planned Parenthood when a pregnant mother walked out of the clinic with a bag of chemical abortion pills. Before the evidence of her reasons for being at Planned Parenthood were visible, the Holy Spirit pointed her out to me. The second I saw her, exit her car to go into the clinic, I felt the pull of the Holy Spirit inside of me to reach her…it was like a magnetic attraction. And I knew God had sent me to the clinic after work to reach her.

“Excuse me, can I give you this?” I asked, offering her a pillow box full of pro-life resources where she could receive free housing, medical attention, clothes, etc.

“No, I don’t think so.” She responded.

After she declined my offer of help and hope, I felt the grief of the Holy Spirit. It was like I could taste His tears inside my soul and the depths of His anguish, caused my knees to totter. I told the beautiful mother to “have a good day” and after she entered her car, I dropped to my knees on the cold pavement and could barely contain the holy cry of the Lord that produced tears in my physical eyes. As I felt God’s pained love for the boy or girl growing inside of the young mother’s womb, I realized once again how deep, depraved and dark abortion was. A unique, individual, conscious, innocent, vulnerable person whose only crime was their existence would die unless other intervention was made and the only One who could truly hear their cry was God. The sheer pain, of sharing this pain with God’s Spirit, produced a grief in me that is indescribable. (Genesis 4:10, Psalm 72:12-14, Leviticus 18:21 are examples of God hearing the cry of innocent blood).

My body is slowly becoming a living sacrifice, a true vessel of spiritual worship (Romans 12:1), where my emotions are shared with His emotions and His emotions are shared with me, where my thoughts are shared with His thoughts, and His thoughts are shared with me.

I’ve been in the ebb and flow of this ultimate surrender since my new birth. I have waxed and waned like the tides and the moon, and tip-toed around the altar of living sacrifice for over a decade as I have apprehensively and longingly studied the bright flames and smelled the burnt aroma. Meanwhile, I have enjoyed the benefits of the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus and been warmed by the flames of His surrender to God. I have smelled the sweet fragrance of His worshipful execution and resurrection all the while knowing, I am called to lay atop His broken body and do as He did so that I can be raised into the fullness of new life with Him and reign in life through His royal life inside of me.

My prayer is to one day truthfully live out the words of Paul here: I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me. (Galatians 2:20).

Recently, I’ve had dreams reflecting things that God wants to tell me, I’ve had prophetic understanding of things and insight into things before they happen. Recently, I went into a church service and it was as if the evangelist had spoken “word for word” on what was going on between me and Jesus behind closed doors. His message was a mirror reflection of what the Lord had been telling me.

Where the Lord wants to take me is a place He wants to take all of his children. This isn’t super spirituality. This isn’t only for a few…I believe Jesus wants to be extremely close to you and I. He died to remove all obstacles from unifying us with himself. He wants oneness with us. And He wants us to walk in unity with each other through our submission and deep love for Him. The natural flow of loving Jesus will be to love His church.

My prayer for you and I is that the Word will be made flesh in the garden of our hearts until our unity with Jesus is so deep and wide, our identity will be rooted and grounded in Him. I pray His life will flow from us as easily as we inhale and exhale. I pray we will seek Him first (above all else) and be made whole in the presence of our Creator and the greatest Lover of our souls.

For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. (Romans 8:29)

~For an inspirational book on finding intimacy with God, check out my book, Visions of Celestial Love. It is full of my personal prayers, devotionals, and short testimonies of encountering God in everyday life.

~For a beautiful worship song on becoming one with Jesus through surrender, click here (I do not own any rights to the music).

“Visions of Celestial Love is a book of inspiring quotes and beautiful prose about God’s unconditional love for mankind. The insights of this book help us to understand that it was the Father’s great love for us that made a way for us to have life together with His Son, Jesus Christ. Through it we get a glimpse into the true meaning of Christ’s sacrifice of love expressed through His death, burial and resurrection as God’s magnificent gift of grace to us. His blood made it possible for all those who put their faith in Him to have fellowship with His Father again. 

I am confident that at the completion of this book, you will also seek after God with your whole heart and want to be in His presence forever.” —Alice Paige, True-Heart friend of author