“I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father.” -Jesus in John 14:12
The Holy Spirit moves so mightily in prayer
“You’ll never believe what happened!” I turned and saw the woman I had prayed for three days ago standing beside my chair with an excited look in her eyes. It was break time at Charis Bible college and I had just set out on the new adventure of trusting God with everything…finances, school, this journey, transportation, boarding, etc.
She had told me earlier that week that she lost all appetite for food. “Why?” I asked as she forced herself to eat. “I had stomach surgery years ago…and something went wrong. Since then, I only eat because I remember to. My body never feels hungry.”
I watched her chew and asked her, “do you want God to heal you of that?”
“Well…I’ve had it so long.”
I marvel at the level of faith I showed those 4ish years ago…it was almost as if I didn’t hear her words. They rolled over me like water off a ducks back. I simply inquired again, “do you want God to heal you of that?” I was confident the Lord would touch her.
When she saw I didn’t flinch she nodded, “yes.”
I took her hand and prayed a simple prayer, “thank you God for touching her body and making her whole. In Jesus name amen.”
Now three days later, she found me in a crowd with the good news.
“Ashley! For the first time in years I feel hungry again!”
I smiled at the news of healing and said calmly, “praise God.” She seemed confused at my lack of visible enthusiasm. I continued my studies. Healing miracles were a natural part of my life back then.
As I look back on my journey of understanding grace, faith-righteousness, the Holy Spirit, and the Gospel, I realize I’ve been going through loops…between victory and defeat, faith and fear, resting and striving, etc. Recently my husband and I have been re-evaluating our beliefs. We both went to Colorado seeing more supernatural miracles than when we left.
My husband has shared stories like praying over a cloth and seeing a man healed of cancer, seeing a man’s back healed, and seeing demons cast out. We both believe in the power of the Gospel to heal, deliver and save. Recently we’ve seen more acts of God in witnessing, seeing someone baptized in the Holy Spirit, and seeing healing manifest. (I just want to say that knowing God is with us in our mess and wants to set people free from whatever cripples them, makes living in hope and joy a beautiful, comforting reality). We both came to California for the purpose of doing the Lord’s work by making disciples.
Years later, I found myself praying for a friend and she felt a weight lift off of her mind and experienced a level of freedom. Weeks after that I was praying for my daycare children and a little girl heard God’s voice speaking to her (she has since changed dramatically). Before that I prayed for a lady who had pain in her hand and a lump. Before I was done praying the lump shrank and went away along with the pain.
I’m learning again to lean into Him when I pray and rest in His love and abide in His truth. Trusting only in His power
He truly wants to heal the sick, comfort broken hearts, set captives free and minister grace. God truly gets all the glory. It’s by His grace.
Thank you Jesus for paying it all so that mankind could receive the favor and blessings of God on earth as it is in heaven.
~I pray you receive from Gods loving heart the power of his miracle working grace in your circumstances. He doesn’t give to us because we work for it, He gives to us because He loves us and Jesus paid for us to have nothing short of God’s kingdom on earth. There is nothing that you may be suffering with right now that God hasn’t paid for it to be taken care of. He loves you soo much. You are his beloved child. God has richly blessed you in Christ!
“The truth of the gospel is intended to free us to love God and others with our whole heart. When we ignore this heart aspect of our faith and try to live out our religion solely as correct doctrine or ethics, our passion is crippled or perverted, and the divorce of our soul from the heart purposes of God toward us is deepened.”- Brent Curtis
Father has been teaching me so much in this season about how important it is to walk in love. I feel like I get this lesson every few years and I have a feeling my whole life will be marked by it. Every time I dive into this lesson with Jesus, I get a deeper taste of how unified love is with God’s heart. It’s His heartbeat. And it doesn’t look like what I’ve been taught. Love looks like the life of Jesus. I’m starting to see His willingness to be crucified for us as a worship song…the clearest image and example of godly love. An act that yes, was for us, but ultimately an act that was like kneeling in the dirt with His arms up in shout-full praise and worship to God. His death brought forth life for us.
The command to lay down my life (selfishness and ego) is becoming attached to this eternal song in Jesus’s heart. I can almost hear it ringing from the cross, like music with His pulse as the drumbeat. A life truly surrendered and given to God. A worshipful marriage at the heart level. A unification that is so strong and powerful, that our identities become interwoven. A seal so permanent that it is more binding than two metals being molted together. A constant cycle of being loved and then loving in return until it leads to washing feet. Until selfishness is constantly denied. Until the ego is washed with truth. Until there is not just “me” but there is “us.” Until His Holy Spirit inside of me begins to do the work and I lay down whatever crown on my head at His feet in perfect knowledge that no one can boast in His presence…because the strength to perform is from Him living within (grace). It was never dependent upon my strength. Heaven’s miracles are all from His grace and truth -John 1:17.
I’m realizing that the love of Jesus is not passive, mousey or weak. It’s not sickly sweet (it doesn’t allow for abuse). Yet, His love is not so hard that it cannot be moved. His love is not cold, religious or lifeless…rather it’s powerful truth and healing grace. It’s wisdom and self-control. It’s giving and wholehearted. Like a blend of ocean and mountain it’s hard to describe but it can be felt. It’s simply…perfect and beautiful.
1 John 3 & 4
It’s as simple as falling in love with Him.
I pray God takes you deeper into His heart. I pray you are taken inside the closest alcove of His friendship. And I pray He shows you His amazing love for you. I also pray you develop a closer relationship with Him. Like Esther was invited inside the treasury of the king before meeting with him in her preparation, may the Holy Spirit open up to the treasury of God’s heart and may you adorn yourself with the eternal jewels and characteristics that are most important to your Heavenly King.
xoxo
For more words like this, check out my book, Visions of Celestial Love (A devotional book about the heavenly and fatherly love of God):
“Ashley’s book, Visions of Celestial Love is just that; a visionary work of epic proportions. It is glimpses into a loving and remarkable relationship with the creator of the universe.
You are invited to Dive into stories of love and compassion, healing and provision, loss and recovery, profound grace and faith. Ashley draws us in with her descriptive prose and unique style of writing.
There are so many stories to relate to in this book and I’m sure you will find your own story among the many that are told here. So, find your favorite spot, your favorite beverage, and curl up with “Visions of Celestial Love”! -Amazon Reviewer
Why do men try and be their own god? How can the created know or surpass the Creator? Why do men worship nature, science, the created order, physical possessions, and knowledge when God is the One who founded and thought of all those things?
Why do men worship their own pleasure even at the cost of hurting others when God is the source of all beautiful, enjoyable, pure, healthy and wholesome pleasure?
Men seek power, fame, sex, and wealth to fulfill them when God offers these as blessings through wisdom to certain people at certain times. Yes, God gave our skin sensors so we could feel pleasure, God gave us taste buds so we could enjoy food, God gave us wine, God gave us majestic mountains, green rolling hills, birds of color, rainbows, sky, rivers, good families, bountiful oceans teeming with life, honey, emotions, music etc.
God isn’t boring. He’s not dull, He’s not hateful, and He’s definitely not anti-fun. He’s the One who has blessed us with all these wonderful things to be enjoyed in their proper context. Not to be indulged in without thought, and certainly not to be enjoyed more than Him (thus making that thing your god).
Everyday I realize I need a humility check. I know nothing without God. My weakness is my greatest strength…because He fills my weaknesses with His strength. The pride of man is one of our greatest downfalls. God is the only One who can give man the eternal joy man craves. He is our greatest pleasure, and when we come to that conclusion we can enjoy His blessings as just that…blessings, and not gods. God is most beautiful
"The glory of God is man fully alive." -St. Ireneaus
This has been one of my favorite quotes of all time.
Ever since I first heard it I’ve wondered, what does it mean to be fully alive?
To have no dead part in you?
No sick part in you?
No unhealed part in you?
No bitter root in you?
No envy in you?
No insecurity in you?
But to live with eyes alight and flooded with truth. To live with a heart moving with the love of God and nothing else. To have the breath of the Spirit of God rushing through every corridor of your body, spirit and soul.
What does that look like?
It must have looked something like the garden of Eden, where man could actually walk with God our true Father, and our Creator. The only One who can heal every part of us and knows, even beyond our own knowledge, exactly what we need.
What’s it like to walk with someone who knows you more than you do?
So many people want to be known, long to be known and understood and loved despite the fear of the risk of being truly seen.
But we don’t just want to be seen by anyone, but by someone who is special and not just this… but great. One who is able to heal, to restore..to breathe heavenly life in us.
We all long for our Maker.
What’s it like to see the One who knows you most and talk to Him in His fullness?
It must feel like being fully alive. It must look… like Jesus (the most accurate view of the love of God put into human flesh)
-For more inspirational words, subscribe!
“Ashley Thompson’s book, Visions of Celestial Love is just that; a visionary work of epic proportions. It is glimpses into a loving and remarkable relationship with the creator of the universe.
You are invited to Dive into stories of love and compassion, healing and provision, loss and recovery, profound grace and faith. Ashley draws us in with her descriptive prose and unique style of writing.
There are so many stories to relate to in this book and I’m sure you will find your own story among the many that are told here. So, find your favorite spot, your favorite beverage, and curl up with “Visions of Celestial Love”!
Then God said, “Let Us (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) make man in Our image, according to Our likeness… -Genesis 1:26 AMP
And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. –Genesis 2:7
How precious do you believe you are to God?
Every single one of us are so loved by God. He has, does and will love us with everlasting love. In his eternal wisdom and mercy, He planned our salvation and our admission into his heavenly family.
Recently Jesus showed me that when He released his last breath and gave up his spirit on the cross…that it was like God (Triune) breathing breath into Adam’s/my/our body and then Adam becoming a living soul…a son of God.
We have become children of God by putting our trust in what Jesus accomplished on the cross. (1 John 3:1)
There is so much wonder in the what Jesus did on the cross. There is so much love and so much grace.
I felt like Father told me that He has never stopped looking for Adam. He looks for Adam in unbelievers today. He lovingly searches for them so He can breathe his Spirit breath into them like He did for us.
He has never stopped wanting mankind to live in fellowship with Him in a heavenly place (once called Eden), now called the Kingdom of Heaven which is near us and in us by his Holy Spirit. (Romans 14:17)
Like He breathed into Adam…He breathes his Spirit, his love, his very life into us.
There’s more glory and love from God that He wants you to experience and receive…there’s so much more .
The Father’s love is boundless.
His plan is eternal.
His wisdom is magnificent.
I hope you continually increase in the experiential knowledge of his amazing love for you. He had you in his mind before time began. (Romans 8:29)
Father God has your face imprinted on the palm of his hand (Isaiah 49:16 AMP). I know it’s tradition for some people to tattoo the names or faces of loved ones on their bodies. God has shown his love in yet another way, by putting your face on his palm. And while I’m not sure if this looks exactly like our human example of a “tattoo” it does mean that you are “ever before” Him. He is mindful of you.
Jesus displayed the greatest love, in giving his life on the cross for you. (John 15:13) . And He bears the marks of his love for you on his wrists.
When Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, He yielded up His spirit. At that moment the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth quaked and the rocks were split.… -Matthew 27:50-51
If you would like a compilation of words on the Father’s eternal love for you, check out my book, Visions of Celestial Love, by clicking here. It is filled with the things Father has shown me. His love for you is deep. He woos you with transformative grace, steadfast compassion and cleansing truth
“Ashley Thompson’s book, Visions of Celestial Love is just that; a visionary work of epic proportions. It is glimpses into a loving and remarkable relationship with the creator of the universe.
You are invited to Dive into stories of love and compassion, healing and provision, loss and recovery, profound grace and faith. Ashley draws us in with her descriptive prose and unique style of writing.
There are so many stories to relate to in this book and I’m sure you will find your own story among the many that are told here. So, find your favorite spot, your favorite beverage, and curl up with “Visions of Celestial Love”!” –Amazon Reviewer.
So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” -Romans 8:15 NLT
It took me a while to call God my Abba Father. Like most Christians that I’ve meet, I mentally acknowledged that He was my Father and I would even attribute that title to Him in my prayers…but I did not know Him in the sweet, warm and assuring way a child knows a loving father. I would not have run into his arms like a little girl would do if her father came home and bent a knee so he could scoop her up.
Thankfully, over the years God has slowly, patiently, tenderly and steadily ushered me into the safety of his arms. Years ago I was sitting on my sister’s couch in her room and I was looking up at the ceiling as I talked to God. I began thanking him for adopting me into His Family. I thought I was doing pretty good with my thanksgiving…I thought I understood his love and the whole adoption thing, but I didn’t discern the depths of his affection…so He stopped me. “Ashley,” He said, “you were always my child.” After He said that, I realized, He always meant to adopt me. In His heart, I was always His. This is true of you. He always loved you as a child.
Years after that I was reading the book of Hosea and God began writing poetry to me. I heard Him whisper inside my heart, “you are a reflection of all my affections.” The instances where his love has caught me off guard and wooed were so numerous that I finally began to allow my soul to marinate in the anointed, fragrant waters of his heart.
I’ve learned that it’s okay to call Him “Daddy” even when I’ve messed up. I’ve learned to lean into his warm chest and relax at his touch. I’ve learned that He just wants me…no strings attached. There’s no need to fear that his love will ever let go.
Like Hosea, He chases me even when I’ve been unfaithful and I finally stop trembling for fear of Him but I tremble at his goodness: But afterward the people will return and devote themselves to the LORD their God and to David’s descendant, their king. In the last days, they will tremble in awe of the LORD and of his goodness. -Hosea 3:5
I melt from the fire of devotion that blazes in His eyes.
One night as I lay in bed…my pillow wet with tears as familiar condemning thoughts sought to uproot what He had planted in my heart (the seeds of His faithful devotion to me), I thought I saw a glimpse of Him at the foot of my bed. His eyes wet like rivers and verse after verse flowed over me like warm spiced waves:
“How can I ever give you up? My heart recoils within me. My compassion’s are kindled together!” -Hosea 11:8.
I realized it hurt Him deeply that I doubted his devotion. I realized it pained Him that I was in pain (Hebrews 4:15). This realization of his steadfast and faithful love toward me produced such trust and personal love for him in my heart. This personal love for him became the sweetest source of peace for me as I drew close to him with my heart. I finally rested in his arms and I soon began to worship him with my soul.
And so He became the Lover of my soul, my God, my Father, my Friend…everything that I trust. My resting place. My secure Rock. My King and the only One that I bow down to in reverence. So for love of him, I’ve learned to love his truth, his righteous ways, his eternal Word. Love has captivated my heart forever.
I pray that no matter what season of life you’re in right now, that you would allow yourself to be deeply loved. I pray all your days will be swept up in the arms of your heavenly Daddy. His arms are the safest place you will ever be. His devotion and affection for you is undying, pure, powerful, healing and faithful. May your world be lite with his love more than the sun’s rays lights this planet.
~For a book on discovering the divine love of God, check out devotional book, Visions of Celestial Love. May your heart be blessed with eternal words of beauty, grace and peace:
“Ashley presents us with a true cornucopia of modern psalms, personal testimonies, and short stories. She has set out to reveal and unravel some of the most complex heart issues mankind faces in our quest of understanding what true intimacy with God really looks like. Prepare to have your soul massaged and worked on as you read Visions of Celestial Love.” — Jeremy Minard, Servant King Apparel
Knowledge without power bespeaks a lack of intimacy.
Just as natural as it is for the union of a husband and wife to produce a new creation, so natural it is for intimacy with Jesus to produce the power of God’s kingdom.
Truth received in the heart will always perfume the scent of the Man of Truth.
The wonders of communion with him looks like being naked and unashamed. There is no area of him that I don’t want to see. There is no area in me that I conceal from him.
Everything is laid bare before him. We are in covenant. All that he is is mine and all that I am is his. This is what marriage is. The two shall become one flesh, so that they are no longer two but one (Mark 10:8). “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:32 ESV).
When I was a new wife, I was naked and ashamed. My husband desired to see me. His desire was natural, good and even holy blessed by God. Because his desire reflected the level of knowledge that God wanted with me. This sort of thinking used to be sacrilegious to my previous legalistic mindset. But now I know better.
There came a point in my walk with God where I realized my fear of vulnerability was really self-preservation in disguise. Selfishness will always be a stumbling block to experiencing true love. If I have any fear of being transparent before my husband it is because I am self-focused (or self-centered) and thus fearful. But in God’s perfect love there is no fear (1 John 4:18). There is no room for the old self in the new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17).
Do you know what that means?
Jesus hung on a cross…in public…naked. (I wish you could read that as slowly as it takes to truly understand it).
He was executed in way that was meant to bring him the most shame. His enemies were true sadists. They enjoyed seeing people tortured– It gave them a sick kind of pleasure.
I’ve never seen a movie where the actor playing Jesus was stripped completely naked. I’ve seen several movies where the actor was brutally beaten. I’ve seen movies where the actor’s skin was shredded and floods of blood trailed down. I’ve seen men try and portray the internal agony of Jesus. I’ve seen movies where “Jesus” wept bitterly and even church publicized screenings where Jesus bore the judgement of God for our sins in the spiritual realm. These screenings of “Jesus” taking on the curse of the law come the closest (in showing not only the physical beating but the spiritual transaction that took place). But I have yet to see an actor agree to be stripped naked on the screen.
Why do you think that is?
There is something in the heart of man that fiercely fears nakedness! I’m not talking about casual sex here, our culture is filled with the filth of that, but I’m speaking of the unfolding of oneself to another in true unashamed exposure.
There is a fear that fights for the last remaining terrain in your soul. It fights to keep the flag of freedom from waving the heavenly fragrance of myrrh in your heart. It fights to keep God out and it fights to keep you in bondage.
This fear is self.
When Jesus hung, naked on that cross for you he took away the shame of being naked.
If he could become naked for us, then we can become naked for him.
He invites us to be naked and unashamed.
There came a point in my Christian walk where I desired to know Jesus as he is. I yearned to worship him in spirit and in truth.
I didn’t want knowledge without union with him because it was self worship.
It was safe religiosity; like kissing a picture of my husband while the real man was standing before me. I wanted intimacy with a Person not intimacy with words.
Sometimes when people read my writing about Jesus, they become uncomfortable:
Wine and milk? Candlelight dinners? Anointing oil on skin? Bread and cheese? Kisses from scripture? Song of Solomon sonnets to Christ?
I wonder if some people find my words too risky, too unorthodox, too sacrilegious?
I’ve discovered that it takes more “gut” to be married to Jesus than my husband Stephen. The level of union is far greater. While my husband and I can and do become one in body, soul and sacrificial love…our unity isn’t indwelling. I can leave his side and go to the grocery store while he remains at home with our daughters. Yet, my unity with Jesus is inseparable. He lives inside of me. It doesn’t just happen in a moment of ultimate vulnerability–like when husband and wife make love. But He circumcised my heart and moved in (Romans 2:29 and Ephesians 3:17).
All circumcisions spill blood.
In my marriage with Stephen, my blood was shed when we first consummated our holy covenant. When Jesus consummated his marriage to the church, he bled profusely on a tree. When Jesus moved inside of me, my heart became the womb of his seed (Matthew 13:1-23, 1 Peter 1:23). When I said “I do” to Jesus my heart was circumcised. The blood of my old man was spilt open unto death and I became a new creation–one molded and tailored to be his wife. I was instantly recreated by God to be compatible for his Son.
In the same way that God looked for a spouse for his “first” son Adam and didn’t find one, so He looks for a bride for Jesus (Genesis 2:18). In the same way He created Eve out of the body of Adam, He created the church out of the body of Jesus Christ (Genesis 2:22-24 and Ephesians 2:10).
You see, in the same way that I can’t truly love someone unless I know them, so we cannot truly love God unless we know him.
Years ago I realized that I had a “religious” love for God.
It would be shallow for me to walk up to a casual acquaintance and say, “I love you.” This kind of love isn’t based on knowledge. This person is very unlikely to feel safe before me. Because love is based on trust and trust is based on truth. Without truth there isn’t light (1 John 1:5-6 and John 5:33-35). Without light, there is blindness. I can’t fully enjoy getting to know my husband if we only talked, hugged or kissed in the dark. If I truly love him, then I want to see him. I want to get to know him in the light. I want to look him in the eyes, read his facial expressions, see his smile. I would want to study the terrain of his face, the way lines form on the edge of his eyes when he smiles. I’d want to study him and through that visual study I would become aware of things–like the way he strokes his chin when he’s thinking.
For the past year or so of my life, I have become desperate for truth. I have cried out for wisdom, knowledge and understanding. I have become panged for the desire to see life the way God sees it, regardless of societal norms, philosophies, and pipeline virtue. I have surveyed the world’s definition of social justice and considered it deplorable suffocating ashes compared to the vibrant, pure light of God’s truth.
Throughout this season, I have seen these eternal truths like jewels in the robe of faith-righteousness that the Holy Spirit has donned me in. This heavenly decoration has caused me to appreciate the book of Psalms (particularly Psalms like Psalm 119) and Proverbs in fresh ways I haven’t before. I have found vibrant pearls of life in His Word and I pray this continues on until I am found to be one who is “after His heart” (1 Samuel 13:14) and until I honor, esteem and submit to my Father’s words as much as Jesus did when He walked the earth as the Son of Man (Isaiah 7:14-15 and John 5:30).
I don’t know how to fully express in words, this level of intimacy with Christ. This garden of Eden relationship with God that I have longed for and prayed for and still seek (I am learning how to surrender).
Lately, I have sensed the promptings of the Holy Spirit in a deep and new way, Just a couple of weeks ago, I felt the grief of the Holy Spirit standing outside Planned Parenthood when a pregnant mother walked out of the clinic with a bag of chemical abortion pills. Before the evidence of her reasons for being at Planned Parenthood were visible, the Holy Spirit pointed her out to me. The second I saw her, exit her car to go into the clinic, I felt the pull of the Holy Spirit inside of me to reach her…it was like a magnetic attraction. And I knew God had sent me to the clinic after work to reach her.
“Excuse me, can I give you this?” I asked, offering her a pillow box full of pro-life resources where she could receive free housing, medical attention, clothes, etc.
“No, I don’t think so.” She responded.
After she declined my offer of help and hope, I felt the grief of the Holy Spirit. It was like I could taste His tears inside my soul and the depths of His anguish, caused my knees to totter. I told the beautiful mother to “have a good day” and after she entered her car, I dropped to my knees on the cold pavement and could barely contain the holy cry of the Lord that produced tears in my physical eyes. As I felt God’s pained love for the boy or girl growing inside of the young mother’s womb, I realized once again how deep, depraved and dark abortion was. A unique, individual, conscious, innocent, vulnerable person whose only crime was their existence would die unless other intervention was made and the only One who could truly hear their cry was God. The sheer pain, of sharing this pain with God’s Spirit, produced a grief in me that is indescribable. (Genesis 4:10, Psalm 72:12-14, Leviticus 18:21 are examples of God hearing the cry of innocent blood).
My body is slowly becoming a living sacrifice, a true vessel of spiritual worship (Romans 12:1), where my emotions are shared with His emotions and His emotions are shared with me, where my thoughts are shared with His thoughts, and His thoughts are shared with me.
I’ve been in the ebb and flow of this ultimate surrender since my new birth. I have waxed and waned like the tides and the moon, and tip-toed around the altar of living sacrifice for over a decade as I have apprehensively and longingly studied the bright flames and smelled the burnt aroma. Meanwhile, I have enjoyed the benefits of the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus and been warmed by the flames of His surrender to God. I have smelled the sweet fragrance of His worshipful execution and resurrection all the while knowing, I am called to lay atop His broken body and do as He did so that I can be raised into the fullness of new life with Him and reign in life through His royal life inside of me.
My prayer is to one day truthfully live out the words of Paul here: I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me. (Galatians 2:20).
Recently, I’ve had dreams reflecting things that God wants to tell me, I’ve had prophetic understanding of things and insight into things before they happen. Recently, I went into a church service and it was as if the evangelist had spoken “word for word” on what was going on between me and Jesus behind closed doors. His message was a mirror reflection of what the Lord had been telling me.
Where the Lord wants to take me is a place He wants to take all of his children. This isn’t super spirituality. This isn’t only for a few…I believe Jesus wants to be extremely close to you and I. He died to remove all obstacles from unifying us with himself. He wants oneness with us. And He wants us to walk in unity with each other through our submission and deep love for Him. The natural flow of loving Jesus will be to love His church.
My prayer for you and I is that the Word will be made flesh in the garden of our hearts until our unity with Jesus is so deep and wide, our identity will be rooted and grounded in Him. I pray His life will flow from us as easily as we inhale and exhale. I pray we will seek Him first (above all else) and be made whole in the presence of our Creator and the greatest Lover of our souls.
For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. (Romans 8:29)
~For an inspirational book on finding intimacy with God, check out my book, Visions of Celestial Love. It is full of my personal prayers, devotionals, and short testimonies of encountering God in everyday life.
~For a beautiful worship song on becoming one with Jesus through surrender, click here (I do not own any rights to the music).
“Visions of Celestial Love is a book of inspiring quotes and beautiful prose about God’s unconditional love for mankind. The insights of this book help us to understand that it was the Father’s great love for us that made a way for us to have life together with His Son, Jesus Christ. Through it we get a glimpse into the true meaning of Christ’s sacrifice of love expressed through His death, burial and resurrection as God’s magnificent gift of grace to us. His blood made it possible for all those who put their faith in Him to have fellowship with His Father again.
I am confident that at the completion of this book, you will also seek after God with your whole heart and want to be in His presence forever.” —Alice Paige, True-Heart friend of author
Recently, I began to understand the deep and sweet intimacy in comfortably communing with Jesus at the table of his sacrificial love. I have a human tendency to run from pain (and sacrifice)….but this time, I savored Jesus in the darkness.
During the weeks preceding Good Friday, I felt like my heart went on an inner pilgrimage with Jesus. Worship seemed to pour from my soul like perfumed waters. I would sing to the Lord when I woke up and drift to sleep singing to Him.
I began to taste something like sweet, rich wine in my spirit from Him. I felt a newfound connection with the Lord and it was almost as if my heart pined for Him. I felt swept up in a Song of Songs romance. I felt a mutual love between us that kept building and building throughout the weeks (this could also have been because a ladies group and I were studying Song of Songs. For the first time…I felt like my love for Jesus was as heady as those succulent, passionate, and dare I say it, intoxicating words. It was like a blend of holy wine mixed with sacred spiced herbs).
One night, after a Passover celebration, I found myself so physically tired that I laid on the floor in the living room after the guests had left. I had planned on going to bed but my mom started playing worship music. Immediately my heart desire for Jesus roused the rest of my body. It was as if someone had blew on internal embers inside my chest. Warmed by an inner fire, I stayed awake until almost 1am in worship… adoring Jesus.
During that time, I wrote this in my journal (I hope you enjoy it):
“I’m learning to be okay with the darkness of the night and the pitch deep blue of dawn before sunrise. Like Mary, I want to wait in the cold stillness of early morning while all else seems to sleep. In the quiet morning, the young hours of a new day, Mary was the first to see the resurrected Lord.
These past few days have been emotionally worshipful for me. The suffering of “Good Friday” awakened my soul in a new way. I didn’t want to skip straight ahead to resurrection Sunday. I wanted to linger at the most intimate table: The Last Supper.
This is where Jesus symbolically and spiritually ate the Passover meal with his closest friends. This is where Jesus offered them the deepest love before the greatest pain. This is where he served them by washing their feet, tearing bread, pouring wine and singing a worshipful hymn with them.
As he broke the bread, he knew his own flesh would be broken for them soon. Although, whether they realized it or not, he had already wholly given himself to loving them. His life among them was a daily sacrifice to feed them and others. As he poured the wine, he knew his lifeblood would spill to cleanse them. What sustained life for his body, would spill out of him, thus draining him of all strength, in order to cleanse them of all sin and give them life. As he washed their feet, it was as if he was anointing them.
I can almost see his eyes. luminous by the flickering of candles against the black, azure night. The soul of him shining through like starlight…like a taste of heaven. He never withheld anything from them. He gave himself completely to them, fearless, eternal, shameless, selfless, passionate love.
This is how he gives himself to everyone of us.
For now, l lay upon his breast like John at the Last Supper and listen to his beating heart…knowing the pain that will pierce it. May my life forever be like the expensive anointing oil Mary poured upon his feet in preparation for his suffering. My soul poured out in worship. His life laid down. It’s strange…but this Friday I take just as much delight in the darkest hour as I imagine I will in the brightest hour (Sunday resurrection). Because in it all…He’s there. And He’s the essence of all my life and devotion and eternal desire.”
“Ashley McClelland presents us with a true cornucopia of modern psalms, personal testimonies, and short stories. She has set out to reveal and unravel some of the most complex heart issues mankind faces in our quest of understanding what true intimacy with God really looks like. Prepare to have your soul massaged and worked on as you read Visions of Celestial Love.” — Jeremy Minard, Servant King Apparel
And if you had only known what this statement means, ‘I desire compassion [for those in distress], and not [animal] sacrifice,’ you would not have condemned the innocent. -Jesus in Matthew 12:7 AMP
When your child is sick, it’s easy to feel like your faith is crumbling around you. I faced one of the biggest scares of my life one early dark morning when my daughter seized up in her crib. She had been physically struggling after receiving a vaccination and she’d become extremely feverish. My heart melted like butter when I saw the cloudiness in her grey eyes and heard the sharp cry of pain that came only seconds before her body began twitching uncontrollably. Her harrowing cry was like a knife to my heart. She was just barely one. I lifted her light body out of the crib and sat her on the bed next to my husband, “wake up!” I sobbed. Eden crumpled up and jerked involuntarily. She didn’t recognize my face or my voice for almost half an hour. Panic came in like a thief in the night and after her rushed trip to the ER (filled with shots and medical scans) she was sent home. My family and I spent days around the clock watching her.
And for days none of the treatment that she had received at the ER seemed to be holding up. Her state was alarmingly erratic. During those tiresome days of attending to her meticulously, I felt the stony weight of condemnation in my soul. Like a rock attempting to divide the roots of my faith…or a hungered weed, attempting to steal the scared places in my heart that only belonged to God. This “feeling” of condemnation came to uproot a little bit of my security in the love of God (Song of Solomon 1:15).
You see, I know it’s hard when the pains of life come unexpectedly. Whenever we go through slicing pain, it can be tempting to harden our hearts in disbelief concerning God’s Word or His nature. The devil doesn’t come donned in an obvious cloak of black and red with a pitchfork. No, he comes with the subtlety of religious philosophy that longs to poison our confidence in Christ and our identity in Him (it only takes a little yeast to leaven the whole loaf Matthew 16:6). He comes to incriminate us and God in our ears. Our “un-graced” mindsets, flare up like crimson algae creating a red tide in the ocean of our conscious. Accusations pop up like smokey fumes. This flare reveals the hidden places of self-blame and shame in us. It unearths the places of self-righteousness that naturally reject grace and denounce the true nature of God. What was in the dark, comes to light when we give in to fear.
For several hours I cried out to God with self-loathing because when I prayed for my daughter, nothing seemed to happen. I had lost touch with the purity of the gospel in those moments of panic (Romans 1:16). When I had prayed for Eden, I was secretly doing it out of self-effort instead of trusting in God’s all consuming grace (Galatians 3:1-2). I was really trusting in my own strength. more than that, I was trusting in my animal sacrifices (holy lifestyle) to earn the healing of God. I was cheapening the gift of faith-righteousness for my own brand of works-righteousness. I was defaming the sacrifice of Jesus for my own sacrifice. (Condemnation is a very slippery and clandestine slope…but I promise you it only comes when we take our eyes off of Jesus for our right-standing with God and put ourselves in His place Romans 5:1).
One morning I woke up to the misty scents of God’s mercy. He came quickly to rescue and reconcile my heart to His love. I realize that throughout all the trails in my life… that it is vitally important to always connect to the Father’s undying love in the midst of the storm. God woke me up to mercy. He showed me His beauty and deep care. In doing so, He effortlessly removed the stone of doubt and guilt that was seeking to grip land in my soul. I felt His love in those moments like fragrant ointment being poured on my skin and shortly after, because of His grace, Eden was divinely healed. She made a full recovery in less than 24 hours. Once I was empowered by His love to receive the truth of His mercy, I was able to breathe in confidence and faith came out like a sighing exhale.
I want to encourage you, that if you can’t get your faith to “work” during a crisis or difficult situation, to not allow condemnation to sneak its way into your soul. Resist all notions of guilt. God’s miracle is not based on your ability to be good enough but on Jesus being your substitute (He is your goodness before the Father). I pray that you will be strengthened by the incredible love of God for you and His immense and glorious grace that is freely given in Christ Jesus. Healing is never earned, deliverance is never earned, salvation is never earned. It’s only by the love of God through Jesus and our faith in that, that we receive His goodness. May you find the simplicity of the Gospel to be sweet salvation in all of your circumstances.
The miracle of that mercy-filled morning for me was not my daughter’s healing. It was that my soul became so captivated with the mercy of God even when the symptoms were still present, that I worshiped despite the circumstances. I adored Him and the fear so disappeared that I forgot all concern for my daughter. His love for me and my daughter surpassed my love for her, my love for myself and my love for Him.
This poem was birthed through intimacy with God during that tender morning:
Relationship with Him looks like mercy–like deep sweet waters perfumed with grace. This grace is heady, like the whiff of strong aged wine. It is as intoxicating as fragrant floral hills bathed in rainbow colored flowers.
You are as beautiful as Tizrah my God, lovely as Jerusalem my Father, more awesome than an army with bright banners my Husband.
You melt my soul with your eyes of deep love and care. Your compassionate heart soothes my inner worries.
Your very Presence is a vaporous mist vaster than the mountainous clouds that sheet the amazon rainforests.
You are light and beauty.
Water and wine.
You are Living Bread…the substance that makes me whole.
I am enraptured by You.
Romanced by Who You are.
Captivated by your tresses.
I am smitten to my inner core.
I find I am threaded into You by your divine hand. A three fold cord is not easily broken.
You share your heartbeat with me and my eyes are fascinated by You.
I feast at the table in your soul and your banner over me is undying love.
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