Category: AT The Time For Love Book

~This preview is taken from my upcoming Christian fiction book, At the Time for Love, a book based off Ezekiel 16:6-14. This novella is meant to introduce young women to the intimate love of Jesus while transparently discussing the topic of: romantic relationships, the often tumultuous and confusing emotions of teenage girls (as well as their blossoming longing for mature love), sex, and above all, the tender Bridegroom love of Jesus. When I was 16 years old, Jesus came after my heart and I wrote my first romantic story, I Do, about being his bride while listening to the song Hero by Enrique Iglesias. Because of his pure love, I walked through my young adult life whole and avoided much heartbreak and compromise. Later, I married the man of my dreams (my 1st boyfriend). My passion is to bring purity and sexual healing back to this generation. I pray Jesus uses this book to save young women in the same way He saved me. This book is meant for girls ages 12-18.

This scene opens up with the main characters tiredly making their way back home at dawn after a long day of harvesting. Enjoy!

“I think you’ve gained a few pounds,” Kendell said after a few minutes and fake grunted as he readjusted me.

“You just can’t say anything nice, can you?” I said and gently slapped him across the back of his head.

“Ouch,” he laughed teasingly.

“You’re carrying a sack of potatoes around your chest Kendell, not just Autumn,” David said in my defense.

“And you’ve been working all day,” James added.

“And Autumn gained weight,” Kendell mocked, “probably from working at Mills around all that good food.”

“You’re such a jerk!” I scolded.

“I’m carrying you, aren’t I?” Kendell stated, “last time I checked, jerks didn’t do that.”

“I’ll gladly walk,” I fumed and began to untie my legs. Kendell held me fast, “I was just kidding. No need to get all hurt.”

I tried again and he leaned forward, “Oh stop being such a big baby. It’s not like we don’t spar with our words all the time!”

“But you’ve never called me fat.” I fumed.

“I didn’t call you fat. I simply said you gained weight…and I was just joking.”

“You’re quiet the prince charming.” James commented toward Kendell.

“I know, won’t he make some woman happy one day?” David quipped sarcastically.

“Pssshhh. And you guys are ladies’ men, are you? Last time I checked no woman was drooling over either of you,” Kendell grinned before proudly adding, “now I’m a different story entirely.”

“Sure, you can get a woman easily but keeping her is totally different. She’d use up less than half a brain stem before leaving your over-cocky backside.”

Kendell frowned, “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked James.

“Your complements are cheap,” David said seeking to explain.

“Your flattery is empty,” James continued before grinning, “if you even have flattery.”

Kendell threw his head back in fake amusement, “isn’t flattery the only thing a man has?”

James and David passed each other a knowing look.

“No way dude.” James said almost admonishingly.

“It’s about heart,” David continued, “looks will only get you so far. Eventually any decent woman would leave a man without heart. And it’s the decent ones that you want.”

“And last time I checked prince charming wasn’t running after a million different women. He had his eyes set on one…and he pursued her with all his strength. We could learn a lesson or two from that alone.” James preached.

“Women want a great lover, not a great flatter-er.” David said.

Thomas and Ginger had slightly wandered off, and he was spinning her around in whimsical circles. She stretched her arms out like wings. Her gaily laughter floated in the air like translucent rainbow bubbles,”wwwhhhhheeeeeeeeee!”

I was beginning to feel awkward to be in the midst of such a conversation amongst the guys. Yet, in some way I liked being there. It gave me an inside scoop on all of them and I felt like a fly on the wall. I wanted to be invisible and I quelled my breaths unconsciously.

“Since you guys know so much about women how come both of you are single?” Kendell inquired.

I waited for their answer as well.

“Because I choose to be.” David answered.

“Loser.” Kendell coughed.

“What’s wrong with that?” James asked.

“Oh, come on! You can’t tell me you’ve never wanted a girlfriend? David, seriously, you’ve never had a girlfriend in your life and you’re in your twenties. Is that even possible?”

“Clearly.” David answered.

“Is it healthy?!” Kendell asked quite ardently.

“It’s much healthier than sleeping around with a whole bunch of women and having shallow relationships,” James spoke, “that stuff tends to damage peoples’ souls.”

“Amen,” David said echoing his approval before glancing at Kendell, “you have a false sense of romance. If dad would have let you have your way you probably would have dated half the women in this town.”

“And they would have each obliged me happily.”

James shook his head, “that’s not what it’s about bro.”

“I’m not saying I would have literally dated so many. But to be this age and having dated none? It’s ridiculous. David, doesn’t that bother you?”

“Not when you know what you want.”

“How could you know what you want and never have experienced?”

“When you’ve studied. And then you finally see the one.”

“How do you know she’s the one when you see her?” Kendell asked before jesting, “does a big flashing arrow point to her?”

“You get a check in your spirit.”

Kendell rolled his eyes, “Okay David, better question. Have you found the one?”

 David’s answer surprised all of us, besides James it seemed, “maybe.”

My eyes shot open.

“What? You have a girlfriend?!” Kendell asked now excited.

“No,” David said quickly, “but…never mind.”

“No, you have to talk now!” Kendell said matching his stride to David’s.

David remained quiet and Kendell harassed him for information.

“Forget it. It’s none of your business.” David said hushing him.

“Weren’t you the one just preaching to me about relationships? Now you don’t want to share? Spill the beans buddy, I’m finally interested.”

When David didn’t speak, I voiced, “mama mentioned that you liked someone.”

David eyes widened and flashed, yet he remained cool, “did she?”

“Who is it Autumn?” Kendell probed nudging my leg.

“I don’t know,” I said honestly, “she wouldn’t tell me.”

The conversation remained on David for a while until Kendell got absolutely fed up of running into dead ends with our eldest brother who insisted on shielding information.

Done with David, Kendell interrogated James, “what about you?”

“What about me?” James asked feigning ignorance.

“Oh, don’t play stupid. How’s your non-existent love life?” he smirked.

James took no offense and smiled, “wonderful.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“I’m not gonna lie to you. I’ve made a lot of mistakes as a non-believer. Being single in this season with Jesus has been one of the most peaceful times of my entire life.”

“What kind of mistakes?” Kendell asked completely ignoring the fact that James said he was at peace.

“Pre-marital sex,” James said with no difference of tone. His brute honesty caught Kendell off guard. My heart sank even though he had already told me about his former life before. The hurtful information came to me anew, before a purifying forgiveness that wasn’t my own, washed my emotions clean.

“You’ve had sex before?” Kendell asked completely taken aback.

“It’s not uncommon in the rest of the world outside Pomeberry,” James said, “this Amish community is an anomaly.”

“Well yeah, I know. But…I could never have imagined you doing stuff like that.”

“Jesus changes people,” James said with a grin.

“How was it?” Kendell asked startling me.

David glanced at me and felt my embarrassment. “Perhaps these things shouldn’t be discussed with our little 16-year-old sister around.” David said looking dead on at Kendell.

Kendell remained quiet for a while as he shifted his gaze between James and David. “She can… cover her ears?” Kendell said in a suggesting tone.

“Maybe he needs to hear it bro,” James said looking at David before he glanced at me, “…I won’t say anything inappropriate… if it’s okay with you?”

I nodded my head and tried to seem cool even as my emotions ran wild within. I turned my face away from him.

When David slightly nodded his approval, James answered, “It was shallow and completely unsatisfying. Sin will only give you pleasure for a moment. After the pleasure’s gone you’re left feeling just as empty as you were before…if not more.”

“Then why is sex so strong an influence?” Kendell questioned.

“I can tell you this, outside of marriage it’s nothing more than a drug to the body and a sword to the heart,” James paused and then his tone shifted to reverence, “but inside of marriage sex is a beautiful expression of covenant love. It’s wholly satisfying, connecting, and life giving. It’s even holy before God because He created it to be a bonding experience between a husband and his wife… and to procreate life. Tell me something…don’t you want to make love to the woman you know chose you over all the other men on earth and is committed to loving you for the rest of her life? Think about it. Making love to someone who will stay with you forever, who will be there when you wake up in the morning and who you’re deeply in love with? Her offering her body to you is the expression of her offering you the deepest parts of her. People who play around with sex have insecure love and their lust is often a reflection of grasping selfishness, but people who have sex within marriage have secure love. They have made a public commitment to give their all. There’s nothing better than guilt free pleasure with security.”

My cheeks were aflame now and I was so grateful for the dark that hid my blushed skin. My heart was drumming wildly and I pushed my chest from touching Kendell’s back so he wouldn’t feel it.

Kendell fell silent for a brief moment before saying, “yes. Who wouldn’t want that?”

“Exactly,” James said pleased at the expression on Kendell’s face, “this is God’s good desire for his children. Naked and unashamed.”

The conversation tarried on before we finally arrived at the house.

I was all too pleased to get down from Kendell’s back and escape inside.

David, and James noticed my quick flight.

“She doesn’t do well with romantic topics.” David told James.

“I noticed she doesn’t fare well with compliments either. She had a hard time accepting it when I called her a princess.” James said.

“Yeah…she’s maturing, but more slowly than your average…” David paused struggling with the word, “wo-man. Just two nights ago I asked her about her crush and she was mortified that I read her so easily. She wouldn’t tell me who the guy was.”

“Oh really?” I heard James say. His voice was animated and he arched an eyebrow.

David nodded, “I’ll eventually find out though.”  

“I pray she’s brave enough to let you in soon. I know how much you care for her.”  

Mama made beef stew and sticky rice for dinner. It was delicious and incredibly warming. I sucked and chewed on the tender seasoned meat. After dinner Ginger brought out the pie and everyone dug in.

“You make the best pies Autumn,” James said as he took a bite.

“Thank you,” I said trying to hide my shyness. I remembered that warm day between the blueberry branches where I told him that everyone knew my pies were “good.” He’d bought one at the next market to test one of them.

“Ginger helped too,” Paige said as she went for a tub of vanilla ice cream to add on top of the hot pie.

“It’s incredible,” Marian said toward Ginger. She then looked at me, “it really is.”

“I’m glad you like it,” Ginger beamed happily.

Paige set the tub down and dipped the scooper in, “who wants some?” she asked and then proceeded to give to those who raised their hands.

After the desert was finished Ginger and I presented the extra gift pie to James and Marian who accepted it with thanks. Shortly after, they waved us goodbye and bid us good night.

“Until the morning,” James waved with Marian at his side.

“God willing,” David waved and showed them out before closing the door behind them.

After hearing the sound of James’ truck drumming away, I headed upstairs.

“I’ll help you with the dishes ma,” I heard David say.

“That won’t be necessary. You’ve had a long day,” she said patting him on the arm.

He sighed, clearly too tired to argue, “good night ma,” he said and kissed her on the head before scaling the stairs.

Showers were timed as everyone needed to wash up. Mama offered Ginger and I dad’s restroom and I found it comical that I was bathing with Ginger when just the other night I had shooed her away. Her dark ebony curls were so soggy with shampoo that the foam of it dropped down her forehead and cheeks. She proceeded to play with the bath bubbles by blowing them in my face and I remembered with annoyance why I had kicked her out of our bathroom last night.

After showering, I stayed up for a long time in bed staring at the ceiling and thinking about the awkward conversation I was subject to. While I had been reluctant to even bring God into the subject of dating until a few days ago, thinking it sacrilegious, James had brought Him into his sexual understanding without the slightest unease. He talked about it like he would talk about scripture, yet his demeanor was one of complete rest and peace. He even called it “holy” in the same breath that he called it “pleasurable.”

Something shifted deep within me, and I felt myself gape open within. I felt a freedom to express myself to God about this in a way I hadn’t before. I poured myself in prayer that night, and asked The Lord to help me see things the way He did. I asked Him to help me grow up into womanhood. I knew I had avoided things that forced me into adulthood many times in the past:

I remembered the day Paige blow dried my hair and put me in her clothes for my interview, and how the word “beautiful” came out of David’s lips when he saw me. I couldn’t ever remember being called beautiful in that sense before.

I thought about the first day I saw James. Something inside my soul awakened for the first time and my secure little world continued to ebb away the longer he stayed. A desire was kindled despite the waters of resistance I put on it, and it only fanned into a bursting flame whenever I’d come in contact with him.

I thought back to the day that Paige said, “you will be a wife and a mother someday. You can’t afford to make these kinds of mistakes anymore!” It was the day I had left bread in the oven and she followed behind me and turned it off. At that moment, I was almost unbelieving at the suggestion in her tone. Sure, I knew someday I would be a wife and mom…but the way she spoke of it made it seem like it was sooner rather than later.  

 I remembered the fleeting moments I had when the Holy Spirit would nudge me with a whisper to talk to Him about my newfound affections. I remember the afternoon Danielle told me to take my feelings to Jesus, and the many times Paige opened up the subject to me in a safe way so that I would share.

I remember slighting David for asking me about my romantic emotions. What I thought was his imposing was actually his invitation for intimate conversation. I remembered Kendell telling me as I explored my wardrobe that I wasn’t the “dirty nailed, jumper wearing, messy haired, cool girl” that he grew up with anymore. He had called me “French girl” in reference to my changed preference of dress.

I also remembered the day I saw Matt pacify his wife Kate outside and then kiss her. When I saw that a wistful ache of longing was felt within me for the briefest of moments until Ginger distracted me.

A cataclysm of other memories filled my mind of moments where romance had called me and I had rejected it. These memories boiled together in a stew of blended pictures. All this time I had been fighting back the hands of time. I wasn’t a little girl anymore. Some part of me was, but that part was receding while the other part was growing.

In the quiet of the night I besought the Lord and in a moment of prayer I heard Ezekiel 16 in my spirit. At first, I didn’t want to bother opening my Bible since I was having such a good time in prayer… but a nudging filled me. Reaching for my Bible I opened it and fingered my way to Ezekiel 16. The words jumped out of the pages at me and burst in my heart:

And as for your birth, on the day you were born your navel cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to cleanse you, nor rubbed with salt or swaddled with bands at all. No eye pitied you to do any of these things for you, to have compassion on you; but you were cast out in the open field, for your person was abhorrent and loathsome on the day that you were born. And when I passed by you and saw you rolling about in your blood, I said to you in your blood, Live! Yes, I said to you still in your natal blood, Live! I caused you [Israel] to multiply as the bud which grows in the field, and you increased and became tall and you came to full maidenhood and beauty; your breasts were formed and your hair had grown, yet you were naked and bare.Now I passed by you again and looked upon you; behold, you were maturing and at the time for love, and I spread My skirt over you and covered your nakedness. Yes, I plighted My troth to you and entered into a covenant with you, says the Lord, and you became Mine. Then I washed you with water; yes, I thoroughly washed away your [clinging] blood from you and I anointed you with oil.I clothed you also with embroidered cloth and shod you with [fine seal] leather; and I girded you about with fine linen and covered you with silk. I decked you also with ornaments and I put bracelets on your wrists and a chain on your neck. And I put a ring on your nostril and earrings in your ears and a beautiful crown upon your head! Thus you were decked with gold and silver, and your raiment was of fine linen and silk and embroidered cloth; you ate fine flour and honey and oil. And you were exceedingly beautiful and you prospered into royal estate. And your renown went forth among the nations for your beauty, for it was perfect through My majesty and splendor which I had put upon you, says the Lord God.

 I could hardly believe the intimate words of my Lord. The words; behold, you were maturing and at the time for love ministered to me in ways that caused my heart beat to become clear in my ears. The hairs on my neck pricked up and goose bumps spread across my arms in a dominos affect. I sucked in a breath of air sharply before slowly releasing. My desire arose within in me in such a powerful way that I was completely unaware of my surroundings for a brief moment. This “feeling” was more real than the clothes on my back. I desired, I wanted, I longed…and for the first time I saw with the eyes of my heart that this was from God. It wasn’t just accepted by Him, it didn’t just please Him, but it was from Him!

A tangible Presence seemed to enter the room and sit in front of me. My eyes went wide and I melted at the heavenly Presence.

“My beloved, my dove, my spotless one, my bride.” (Song of Solomon 5:2)

I closed my eyes overwhelmed by the intensity of the love I felt. Tears pricked at my eyes and I knew a new dawn had come. As the pure and beautiful Presence dissipated I knew things would never be the same. I was awakened.

~If you liked this sneak peek of, At The Time For Love, check out my book, Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul! There is deeper love awaiting you! A love the world can’t take away.

“Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul introduces fictional stories painted with tender intimacy to gently unravel the ageless waters of human desire for everlasting love. Based on the sacred theology of Jesus as the Church’s Bridegroom, Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul’s storybook manner sparks the imagination, exposes hidden wounds, and nourishes the soul. Through deeply warm conversations, unsuspecting characters encounter Jesus, who is sometimes disguised, and come to find Him as the healing Lover of their souls. These therapeutic conversations take place in a café, a ballroom floor in heaven, beside a lake, in Jerusalem and other colorful places that welcome rest. The book is framed by the extended story of Noble and Trisha’s romance—one that connects with many young women. Ultimately, this book was designed to usher the reader into the comforting arms of Jesus, where He can make them whole with pure love.” -Ashley Thompson McClelland

~This is a sneak peek at my upcoming book, At The Time For Love, based on the holy marital covenant God made in Ezekiel 16. I hope you enjoy! <3

I gazed into his frozen emerald eyes. His frame stood like a mountain over mama’s. His broad shoulders were once the landscape that I leaned on.

Just as sorrow threatened to rise I heard the voice of the Holy Spirit, I am with him. He will be home soon.

“Thank you for looking after him.” I whispered to my divine Friend.

Always. I will never leave him or forsake him.

The Holy Spirit ministered to my soul as I went in my parents’ bathroom. It smelled of fragrant oils and I opened the sea foam green cabinet with a sapphire blue knob. I saw mama’s oils in a clear container. After opening it I searched for the two peppermint and myrrh. It took a while to finger through and read the tiny labels, but after a few minutes I successful retrieved them. Making sure to roll the dark amber oil glass containers in place, I secured the lid back on before putting the container back. As I raised I noticed a weathered looking letter addressed to mama. I could see faded black words in ink through the folding. It looked like Papa’s penmanship. Curiosity itched my mind but I withdrew purposefully. I was sure it was a letter that all of us had read before. And besides, I didn’t want to go sifting through anything that mama wasn’t aware of.

I made my way into the kitchen and saw that David had taken out several ingredients for the cookies. He was already done with the alcoholic mixture and Thomas seemed very well contended sipping it.

“High quality stuff,” Thomas said leaning back in the chair causing two of the legs to lift off the floor.

“What did I tell you about that?” Mama gently reprimanded and Thomas quickly corrected his posture. Kendell was finishing his drink and I saw the annoyed, tight-lipped expression on his face as he glanced at Thomas. He surely didn’t expect the tables to be turned on him like it was.

When I came within eyeshot of mama she waved for me to follow her. I was grateful we weren’t going to have our one on one in the same room as my brothers…especially with the mood of things.

Mama took me back down the hallway but this time instead of making a right turn we made a left. I saw we were headed to her library, also known as papa’s office.

She closed the door behind us and I waited for her direction.

She stretched her hand out with an open palm, signaling for me to sit on the plush kali tufted chaise lounge chair. The smell of old books was like wearing a comforting sweater to my senses.

I took her nonverbal cue and sat down at the edge of the chair. She took up a small bag from the large mahogany desk and looped around me before sitting at the base. Her legs stretched forward on both sides of my hips and I briefly grabbed the hazelnut cushion to steady myself.

“Lean back a little dear,” she welcomed.

I obeyed and held out the oils over my shoulder. She took them and put them beside her.

Slowly and quietly she unwound my hair.

Soft red curls made long waves down my back and fell by my lower spine. Mama gathered the hair in her hands and gently flicked her hands, causing bunches of my hair to fan out and then return like a swing at a park.

“Such glorious flames,” she praised.

I almost blushed as a swell of heat flushed my cheeks.

“Thanks mama.”

“I’m glad you never cut yours like Ginger.”

I nodded, “me too. Although I know Ginger likes her short Shirley temple bob.”

Mama agreed, “I do too. I didn’t think I would… but her haircut suites her. She had eyes to see what I couldn’t.”

“Hmmm…she had eyes to see what none of us could…even papa.”

Mama made a noise that left me wondering. I heard her untwist the lid to one of the oils. Within a few seconds I knew it was the peppermint one because the strong refreshing aroma burst into the air like a birthday candle being lit.

Mama let a few drops fall on her finger tips before she began massaging the therapeutic oil into my scalp. Her nimble but gentle hands immediately caused my shoulders to relax. I closed my eyes and let myself breathe in deeply.

After a minute or so of receiving a silent scalp rub mama spoke, “I believe you have eyes to see what others cannot dear.”

My eyes opened at that.

“What do you mean?” I asked curiously.

Mama didn’t answer at first. She picked up the brush and began stroking my hair. She seemed to be searching for a way to verbalize her thoughts. Finally, she spoke.

“I believe you have a way of seeing God that is special.”

My heart went warm.

“I think everyone has their own special way of relating to God.”

“Of course, we all do,” mama agreed, “everyone must have their own personal relationship. He’s not a distant God. He’s right here,” she tapped the skin over my heart and then her own. “And He’s up there,” she said pointing toward the heavens.

Mama reached for the comb when she hit a few small knots. I was amazed that I had missed the amount that I did.

“But dear…it isn’t the personal relationship I was talking about. It’s your child-like innocence.”

I didn’t know how to respond so I remained quiet.

“Few people grow up and remain so oblivious to…the corruption of the world. If not the corruption then at least the knowledge of the evil.”

“Oh mama, if that’s anybody in this house then it’s Ginger.” I said trying not to sound dismissing.

“Yes, Ginger is pure and unsurprisingly so. She’s 14 and has been homeschooled her whole life.”

Several seconds passed by and mama sighed. I didn’t know whether it was from the tangles in my hair or something bottled inside of her. “Autumn…you see God in everything dear. He talks to you. He shows you things…and you listen. You may not express it much but you listen.”

“It’s why I write.” I confessed and felt my eyes water. I didn’t know why I was reacting the way I was. “I don’t know how else to give life to what He speaks to me. I try to live out the way He wants but I find I fall short often…especially with my mouth.”

She worked in silence, waiting for me to continue.

“But I’m coming to realize He’s not after my performance. He’s been after my heart…my fears…my desires and our relationship. I think once I let Him in…the behavior will naturally follow.”

“Of course, it will,” mama said lovingly and kissed my ear.

A tear slipped from my eye and I wanted to hide it but didn’t.

“He’s amazing mama. More amazing than I ever knew. More amazing than I understand now. And He’s so close. So close and always present to all my needs. He knows everything about me and He just wants in on everything because He just wants me.”

My vision blurred and I wrung my fingers.

“When did this start happening?” I heard mama whisper thickly to herself. Her voice was so hushed I thought I’d imagined it.

“About the time James came to town,” I said without meaning to. The words flew out of my mouth but it was like I was hearing them being spoken by a stranger.

“What?” Mama asked, her pitch much higher this time.

I bite my fingernails into the cushion and held my tongue.

“Autumn?” Mama questioned when I stayed quiet.

I gulped slowly. I had just realized the truth of it myself and I was still processing everything. More so, I was mortified that my mother was the first to know!

“Autumn?” She inquired again, this time with a little more force.

“Huh?” I answered innocently.

“What do you mean?”

I glanced down at my hands. I felt a tingling sensation in my chest…like saccharine roots burrowing down in my heart.

She had completely forgotten about my hair. Her hands were now on my arms. I risked and leaned back into her chest and she embraced me. Clear trails of tears lined my cheeks.

“Oh honey. Why are you crying?” She asked surprised.

Woman, why are you crying? I remembered the first words of Jesus when He had resurrected from the dead. Healing words meant to comfort his beloved friend Mary Magdeline.

Mama hugged me more snuggly and she planted light kisses across my forehead.

Mama, I love him! I wanted to say. It felt so safe to tell her but I couldn’t bring myself to do it and I wasn’t sure why.

“It’s just…he has been such an example of Jesus in our friendship. And I know our relationship has made me open up to God in ways I hadn’t before. I feel like I’ve let go of some fears and so I’ve been able to grow up in Christ and mature more.”

“You certainly behave more maturely…and you even dress more…womanly.” Mama commented thoughtfully. Her eyes flickered and I saw she was thinking. A pensive look overshadowed her face and then a brightness.

“You and James are good friends?”

My heart thudded in my chest.

“Yes, we are.” I admitted.

“Just friends?” Mama asked.

Dread came over me and I felt the blood rush down from my face. “Not just friends. We’re…uh…brother and sister in Christ.” I bleated. I was grateful for the scapegoat.

“Well of course you are,” mama chuckled warmly, “I already knew that.”

I raised up and she released me.

Before she could say anything more about James I rushed away from discussing him, “he’s helped me open up to God more without realizing it. But mostly I hear from God when I’m away from James. He speaks to me in the night before I go to bed…well that is…if I listen. I find myself talking to Him more when I wake up. And I’ve been seeing things too mama. Such beautiful things. I can’t fully describe them.”

Mama played along, “what kind of things dear?” she asked untwisting the myrrh. I described to her the vision I had in James truck on my way to see Carol and Josh for the first time.

Her breath caught when I told of her seeing people from every tribe, tongue and nation worshipping…and how big Jesus was that all I could see was his legs and feet.

She sniffled and said emotionally, “I could almost see it when you were talking.”

“I think that’s the first time anything like that’s happened to me.”

“Yes….” Mama said slowly, a corner of her lips lifted, “and you said you were in James’ truck?”

I sighed loudly, “yes, but what does that matter?”

“It doesn’t unless it does.”

“Well it doesn’t.”

“Doesn’t it? You just said so yourself that your relationship with God has changed since you’ve known James.”

“I…I think God just used James to introduce me to Himself in ways He’s been trying to for a long time now.”

“God uses people hun. We are His body. He seldom if ever moves without us. We are His temple, His church, His children…” she began massaging the myrrh into my scalp before whispering, “His bride.”

I unconsciously stiffened.

“But you don’t have to tell me anything that you’re not ready to,” she continued, “I could tell you’ve been blossoming over the past few months. You’re like a late rose, opening up to reveal the most beautiful petals. You’re maturing. At the time for love.”

I chortled nervously, “I think Paige and David are at that stage mama. They are more mature than Kendell, Thomas or Ginger and I.”

“Yes, they are.” She agreed.

“If you want grandchildren, I would recommend them first.” I tried to make my voice sound flat and emotionless.

“I never said anything about grandchildren,” Mama said pleased, “but the sound of some is a nice change.”

I bit my bottom lip and said nothing.

Mama detected my spiking nervous energy and began a prayer, “Jesus, thank you for Autumn. I pray you help her to receive more of your love and to show her how much I love her. Thank you for steadily driving out any fears or misconceptions that she may have toward herself, You and her family. I pray that one day she understands fully that she can share anything with me. Strengthen our relationship by your love and Spirit. In your name I pray, amen.”

Her prayer eased me as well as the way her fingers rubbed into my skin.

We both sat in silence until she was done. I was grateful that she didn’t press me anymore.

Afterward she French braided my hair and it resembled a stocky glossy rope.

She tied the bottom with a green elastic band.

“There,” she exhaled satisfied.

I spread my fingers as my hand trailed down the braid, “thank you mama.”

“You’re welcome dear.” She said and began putting everything away in the bag.

I stood and when she gave me her nonverbal approval, I headed for the door.

Just as I reached the doorframe she called me back.

“Autumn?”

“Hmm?” I said turning to face her.

“For the record. If you were to like James and he, you in return, I couldn’t be more pleased with it.”

My lips parted unintentionally.

She continued, “I think he’s one of the godliest young men that I’ve ever met. He’s genuine, giving, wise, loving, and… handsome too.” She chuckled with a wink.

I rubbed my arm, “so you wouldn’t mind at all mama?” I asked bravely.

“No. I would wish him to marry one of my girls. In fact, I would pray that all of you find a man with characteristics such as him.”

I couldn’t help myself. A broad and blushful smile spread across my face, lifting my cheeks and causing them to rose in hue like unfolding flower petals.

Mama saw my reaction and smiled brightly in return.

James already had her approval and I knew the odds with David were in my favor. It was only papa that concerned me now.

“Thanks mama,” I said and then dipped my chin, “I do like him. I love him.”

Mama’s eyes misted now and she touched a hand to the skin that surfaced her heart, “does he love you back?”

I nodded and she rose from her chair before coming toward with arms wide open.

She hugged me tightly for a long time and I rested my cheek on her shoulder—sobbing and laughing. Peace like a flood washed over my whole being. I felt so light and free.

Mama kissed my cheek. Her lips were wet with salty tears. I didn’t expect her reaction to be so admirable and jovial. Our elation was almost tangible.

I leaned my whole body into her and she hugged my torso securely.

After what seemed like eternity and a few seconds at the same time, we parted. She cupped my face, “did he propose?” she asked.

I laughed brokenly, “no mama. He wants permission to court me.”

“A man like James has only one thing in mind with courting…a permanent relationship.”

“I’d marry him tomorrow if he asked.” I confessed.

Mama threw her head back and laughed. When she was finished she wiped tears of mirth form her eyes, “not so fast turbo. We need your father to walk you down the aisle remember? I’d doubt he’d want David to substitute such an important event.”

My smile slowly faded, “papa doesn’t know James.”

“It won’t take him long to read him. Your father has a gift for discerning people.”

When I said nothing, she assured me again and then asked, “is this why James wants to speak with your brother and I?”

“Yes,” I admitted.

“He’s such a gentleman.”

“He is.”

“Has he ever kissed you?”

My face flamed, “no mama! At least…not on the lips.” I sounded more alarmed than I intended.

“Hands then?” She asked undeterred.

“Yes ma’am.”

I could tell she wanted more information but decided it was best not to pry. She smiled at me fondly, “I’m so happy.” She said and in her hazel eyes, I truly saw she meant it.

“Me too.”

That afternoon and evening, I labored for several hours over Paige’s knitting tools to make Danielle a scarf. Time bled together and I only stopped to go to the bathroom or indulge in David’s delicious ginger cookies. It was a meticulous but rewarding task and I listened to environmental music while I created. My imagination took me away into previous encounters with James while I worked. Love like sweet honey coated my soul like the glaze over a donut.

That night, mama surprised me with homemade chai tea latte. She even frothed the milk and sprinkled cinnamon on top.  Paige, Ginger, and Thomas helped themselves to a cup while Kendell settled for hot apple cider.

Mama enjoyed some herbal tea and before long David descended the stairs after an extra-long hot shower.

I was surprised to find him shirtless with nothing but his wool white long johns on, and some thick cotton socks. His ash brown hair was damp and locks of it stuck to his forehead. His skin was tanning nicely and was taking on a goldish shade. I had forgotten how muscular and lean he was. He was my brother and the only time I thought about those kinds of things was when I was wrestling him…and losing. His broad shoulders were set like armor above his washboard abs. His jaw was smooth from shaving which illuminated his handsome face. Despite his shower, his emerald eyes showed signs of weariness.

“Before anyone say’s anything. I apologize for the lack of clothing,” he announced with palms open and then turned to Paige, “where are we doing this thing?”

I looked at Paige curiously who seemed unable to answer his question.

Before she could speak he sighed, “don’t make me climb those stairs again.” He pointed a thumb behind him.

“Alright,” she lightly huffed and then removed some pillows off of the couch, “lay here.”

He collapsed chest down on the couch and turned his head to face us. Paige went to the kitchen and took a face towel out of a boiling pot of water with some tongs. She let it cool on the counter for a few minutes while she poured David a glass of water over some ice.

She put a powder mixture in it and then stirred with a spoon.

“Here you go,” she said handing it to him, “some electrolytes and vitamins to help you recover.”

He lifted his head lazily, “thanks.”

~For more stories like this. Check out my latest book, Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul (Pleasure that makes you whole)!

“Ashley your personal encounters have illuminated through these stories. They have reminded me of my personal relationship with my Savior Jesus. I used to have an empty seat at the table when I ate or fluff a pillow by mine when I went to bed.
I love the way you describe each person and each heart in your stories. Every one of these beautiful stories is heartfelt. Everyone of these stories carries a strong message. A message of love, a message of faith and a message of the importance of meeting Jesus right where we are. Thank you for the opportunity of being able to share my thoughts on your new upcoming book! May God come alive in each person who picks it up to read it, may God touch hearts and bring souls closer to Him.” –Ramona Trevino, Pastor, Author, Education Specialist and host of Blossoms of My Life radio show on KKMC 880

~A sneak peek from my upcoming book, At The Time For Love, inspired by Ezekiel 16

I curled up on the couch and drew back the curtains. Powdery white snow flaked down like glinting pearl dust. I leaned my head against the plush sofa and my eyes drifted toward the heavy ivory clouds. I noticed how the tree branches gently swayed and how the few leaves they had left, rustled. I pulled my hands into my fuzzy sleeves and secured them under my arm pits. Just gazing outside gave me the illusion of a chill. Perhaps I was still weak from yesterday? Everything was so white, my eyes got lost and sometimes I couldn’t tell the difference between land and sky. The earth…all the mud was completely covered over. A sweet scripture came softly to my mind like the taste of syrup on my heart’s soft palate. “Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. (Isaiah 1:18 NIV)

My arms slowly uncurled and I felt warmth from the inside. I inhaled physical air even as my soul inhaled the grace that had already washed away all my stains.

My Autumn, unlike the dirt that is caked underneath the snow outside…you are not muddled underneath my righteousness. You have become my righteousness in my Son. You are all snow white. Stainless beauty. Living proof of the glories of my grace. Proof of my Son’s accomplishments. You never have need to be ashamed.

Like an infant yawning at dawn’s first light, my heart exhaled hidden shame. I felt as innocent as a new born babe. My body shivered from what was taking place and suddenly the warmth that I had begun to feel intensified. I dropped my arms to my side and let my robe open up at the center. I felt my heart glow like a miniature sun. How could God be so good? How could I have not known He was this good? What more of His love was there to be explored? I smiled without effort and thought of all the things Jesus had already done for me. Things, I was only now discovering thousands of years later. I wiggled my hands free from my sleeves and kissed my fingertips…pretending they were the toes of Christ.

“I love you, I love you,” I whispered affectionately. I hugged my chest, pretending that I was holding onto Jesus, “I love you, I love you my Lord.”

I chortled gaily and stood up before closing my eyes. I took imaginary hands and pretended I was slow dancing with Jesus. I dreamed that the carpet turned into a glass ballroom floor. After a few minutes, I opened my eyes and snatched up my journal. I wrote on the couch for almost two hours. Sometimes the noise from my sisters cleaning and chatting upstairs would distract me. However, the sweetness of God’s love easily captivated my attentions. I wrote out a prayer of thanksgiving and then a sonnet of love to God:

I love Your presence.

 Your warm embrace melts me inside, and implants seeds of joy in my heart that grow into suns, melting me even more.

 I love worshipping You, and love the feel of Your Spirit rushing within, stirring me, and embracing my skin.

 I love the joy You bring.

It is true that in Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

You are my greatest love.

 My holy, relentless Lover.

My David, slaying all my Goliaths.

My Romancer, spoiling me with the keepsakes of Heaven, with gifts extravagant, with pleasures far greater than any on earth, and with intimacy that awakens the deepest parts of me.

 I love Your arms—they hold me like a Father’s: pulling me closer to Your chest and letting me listen to Your heartbeat.

 Your breaths fall on me like a waterfall, moving tendrils of my hair and sweeping over my face.

 I love Your kisses.

The feel of Your lips on my head.

 Like hot coal it burns me within, tingling every inch inside me, and causing the hairs on my body to prick up with goose bumps.

 Oh, how I love worshipping You!

 It is my greatest joy!

My highest honor!

I think I see why the angels love worshipping You.

 I’ve tasted something so divinely sweet in the act and life of worship that I cannot go back to plain food.

The pleasure draws me.

 It lulls my heart, calling me more and more.

 You are my greatest desire.

My highest joy. My perfect peace.

My best comforter.

My only real and true Friend.

 My Creator.

 You are the Prince Charming who ran after my heart.

You fought every foe, and captured my affection slowly, as your love patiently captivated my heart.

 You romanced me until I melted away into You.

I crumbled in Your strong arms that caressed me tenderly.

 I evaporated in Your chest.

I dissolved in Your tears.

I floated in Your laughter.

You entranced me in every way.

 The brightness of Your face fascinated my eyes.

 You are my El Shaddai.

You’re my Rapha.

 I am my Beloved’s and His desire is for me.

I love living with You.

 Sharing life with You.

Awakening to find You smiling upon me by the side of the bed.

I love the feeling of Your fingers trailing my face, cupping my chin.

I love You so much that I even love Your rules!

 I love Your beautiful holiness.

Your righteousness is life.

I love You.

 I love You.

 I love You.

You first loved me.

You will always love me.

 You have secured me as your own.

I am your own.

 Nothing brings me greater joy than knowing that I belong to You.

By the time I was done scribbling, my journal was stained with tears. I sniffled and swiftly wiped at my eyes. “Will I ever stop crying?” I questioned hoarsely, my voice rough with emotion. “It seems all I do lately is cry.” Just as quick as my pondering came, the answer came right behind it. It’s a softening of your heart. Your tears are proof of my rain in the garden of your heart. I chewed on my bottom lip. “Okay…” I said resolved not to fight God anymore. I thought of how God must cry tears of joy often.

            A clanking noise caught my attention and I looked over my shoulder. Mama had lingered out of her library and was now in the kitchen. She was bending over and deciding on which pot she would use. After retrieving the crock pot, she stood. She went to the sink where some chicken had thawed. She took out tomato paste, creamy tomato soup, chicken broth, three cheese tortellini noodles, savory spices, onions, garlic, and a few other choice ingredients. I watched her pour ingredients into the crock pot and then dice up vegetables. I thought to ask her if she needed help but then decided against it. I knew she would say no. Plus, I didn’t want to intrude and risk a scolding. She seemed focused and I knew how she didn’t like to be interrupted when cooking. After putting everything in the crock pot, she started shaking spices in it. I always wondered how she could do that without ever measuring and yet come out with perfectly seasoned meals! I imagined only food in heaven could surpass hers. No chef in the world could rival my mother…. although I hadn’t ever traveled out of the country, I was sure of my conviction.

When she was finished Mama washed her hands and cleaned up the counters. She glanced up at me and I averted my eyes, pretending that I had been studying the fireless hearth the whole time.

            “Autumn, why haven’t you washed and combed out your hair?”

            “Huh?” I asked and turned my body toward her.

            “Your hair?”

            I almost slapped my hand against my face, “oh gosh. I’m sorry. I completely spaced.”

            Mama remained tight lipped for a few seconds, then her eyes gentled, “you were catching up on your writing?” she asked pointing to my journal that laid on my lap.

I nodded and she sighed before the corner of her lips lifted slightly.

            “That’s good dear. Your father always encouraged you with your writing.”

I nodded again, thinking fondly of Papa. Mama slowly made her way toward me. I tensed but then relaxed when I saw her demeanor.

She touched my shoulder and sat on the coffee table in front of me. “I’m glad you are able to relax and do something that you love today.”

“Thanks mama,” I said smiling.

Her eyes flickered, a soft shimmer welling them, “and I’m sorry that I didn’t encourage you in your gifting like your father.”

My fingers tightened on my journal before becoming sweaty, “it’s okay mama” I said, thinking of no other suitable response.

She shook her head, “no it’s not dear.” Her bottom lip quivered slightly and she rested a hand on my knee, her fingertips brushing my knuckles.

Her gaze drifted to the words in my journal. At first, I thought to hide them out of routine fear, but I realized I had nothing to hide, least of all from her. I turned my journal with a hand so she could read the words without tilting her head. She accepted my invitation bravely and even picked up my journal. She read quietly and I could feel my pulse in my neck.

I played with the wooly fabric on my sleeves and kept my gaze in my lap. Several moments went by and I wondered how long it would take her to finish. Jittery, I began to comb my fingers through the knots in my hair. When mama was finished, she softly placed my journal beside her. She curled her pointer finger under my chin and guided my face up so I could see her.

“God has given you an anointing to write dear.”

A huge smile stretched my lips upward. “Do you really think so?”

She nodded her head.

“Thank you, Mama!” I sang.

“You have words for the world dear,” she encouraged and then played with the damaged ends of my hair, “now go wash this please.”

I chortled and stood up to go shower. I took a step forward and then retreated and bent down to wrap my arms around her neck. Mama embraced me tightly and kissed my cheek, “my Autumn. I’m so proud of the woman you are becoming.”

I pulled my face away to look her in the eyes, “thank you Mama.” I whispered hoarsely and retreated away before I teared up.

For the first time in my life, mama had complimented my writing. I didn’t realize how starved I was of her approval before, until now. The want in my heart had been met and it was profounder than I realized. Hidden places were watered.

~If you enjoyed this sneak peek, you may also enjoy my book Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul. It’s based on the sacred romance between Christ and his Church. The short stories are designed to be like healing dates with Jesus…the lover of the human soul. You can purchase an ebook copy by clicking here.

~The following is a sneak peak of my upcoming book: At the Time for Love, based on Ezekiel 16 <3

…When I reached I saw he wasn’t there. My eyes widened and I nimbly made my way down the steps. My mind swam with ideas of where he might be and a part of me was hesitant to look for him. The air was cooler downstairs and I saw he had the curtains drawn back so the moonlight could spill in. The earth, blanketed with snow, glowed with moonlight more radiant than desert sands in the winter night. It was like a white ocean and my breath drew. Billions of stars hung like ornaments in the sky. They winked at me like silver bells. Withdrawing, I slowly stepped close to the bathroom build underneath the stairs. When I saw nobody was there I went into the kitchen. I noticed the coffee pot was damp with vapor. But nobody was inside. I went into the library, holding the walls in the dark of the hallway. When I reached the library, no light was on and nobody was in. I went into the washroom at the back and found he wasn’t there.

“Where are you?” I voiced quietly. I opened up the back door and saw not a soul. Closing it I folded my arms and shivered a little from the cold outside. Going back into the kitchen I cracked the front door open and saw a small candle burning in a lantern on the dirt road leading to the house. I squinted my eyes and saw the silver silhouette of a man in the distance. It was James!

Closing the door, I opened up the hall closet and put on dad’s boots and his great winter coat. After buttoning it up and placing a beanie on my head I went outside in the cold frosty air. My stride slowed as I neared him. I saw my breath before my face and smiled as it disappeared and blended with the cool of the air. I approached as quietly as possible, but before I was within ten paces of him he turned around. Silver light danced on his henna brown hair and the bronze terrain of his face was dappled with moonlight and shadow so that some of his features were hidden. He appeared so tall and stately, strong yet gentle. He moved to pick up the lantern and held it before his face. “Autumn?” he said surprised. His honey eyes luminous near the small flame.

“Yes, it’s me,” I voiced shyly.

“What are you doing outside? In the cold?” he reached to take off his jacket but I lifted my hand, “it’s okay. I put on my dad’s coat.”

He let out a sigh of protest but relented. His butterscotch skin seemed so smooth, and so warm against the cold of the white night.

“May I join you?” I asked walking to his side, my blue eyes glowing.

He gazed at me before blinking. A small sweet laugh came from his lips, “forgive me. I have to remind myself not to look at you…like that…for so long,” his words were coated with affection.

I blushed despite the cold.

“For a little while,” he responded.

“Just a little while?”

“Yes.”

When my brows crinkled he chortled, “Need I remind you that you almost suffered from hypothermia this morning?”

“But…”

“Sometimes it’s better to listen Autumn…without putting up a fight.”

“I don’t have red hair for nothing,” I quipped.

He smiled but remained quiet and looked up at the stars.

“Thank you for saving my life today…” I whispered.

He turned to me, “God saved your life today. I was simply His envoy,” he grinned, “a very happy emissary.” He turned again and I watched the stars with him.

Things remained quiet for about three minutes. Not one of us spoke. Everything was so still, serene. Only the faint musical sound of the occasional gust of wind tickled my ears. James took a sip of coffee from a thermos he was carrying. My nose picked up the mild sugary scent of winterberry. I glanced and saw the red hue of the candle in the lantern James was holding.

Enjoying the silence yet wanting to hear his voice more I asked, “what were you doing out here?”

“Talking to God,” his voice moistened in deep thought, “this is my quiet time with Him.”

“At night?”

“Yes…and early into the morning. That’s the time Jesus would go up to the Mount of Olives and pray to His Father. I find it’s the most fruitful time…when the world is quiet…when everybody is asleep. It’s just me and the Father. Some of my richest moments have come from these times. He teaches me things and I get to pour out my soul to Him and feast on His goodness. ‘More than the watchmen wait for the morning do I wait for You. O Israel, hope in the Lord; For with the Lord there is lovingkindness, And with Him is abundant redemption.…’”

“King David,” I whispered remembering the author of the scripture he quoted.

“Mmhmm,”

“Does He always speak?” I asked in wonder.

“…He’s always speaking. This is just a time that I’m usually quite enough to listen. It’s all about resting in Him.”

“….so, what has God been telling you tonight?”

“He’s reminding me.”

“Of what?”

“That there isn’t a person on earth that I love more than God. And because of that, I love every person on earth. Our hearts were made for one love. The perfect, full, gracious, lavish, and awesome love of God. From His heart, true benevolence and affection for people flows.”

I was quiet for a moment. His words were like a balm on my heart…sweet peace rose from deep within me.

“Wow…you summed that up so neatly.”

James gently slipped an arm around my shoulders and the lantern dangled from his gloved hand. I leaned into him and felt a warm mist coming from his skin. I began to feel light…and a deep sense of love.

“I feel God right now,” James said and suddenly tears pricked my eyes.

“I feel Him too,” I said softly, my voice quivering a little, “the moment we hugged…”

James laughed lightly, “I knew I wasn’t alone.” A deep sigh rose to his chest and then a long exhale, “you know Autumn…you’re the first girl that God has given me peace about. After I was born-again there were a few women I thought God might put me together with…but I lacked peace about every single one of them…even if everything looked perfect in the natural. But with you…it just feels so clear. It’s His pleasure flowing right now between us. I recognize it,” James began to laugh again.

My eyes widened with his words but then relaxed and soon I was laughing too. I laughed from an overdose of joy! I was in awe at the goodness of God. A verse came to my mind:When the Lord brought back the captives [who returned] to Zion, we were like those who dream [it seemed so unreal]. Then were our mouths filled with laughter, and our tongues with singing. Then they said among the nations, The Lord has done great things for them. The Lord has done great things for us! We are glad! –Psalm 126:1-3.

I turned and wrapped my arms around his waist, “who would have thought God would have given me such a wonderful man?” I closed my eyes and giggled.

James pulled me back a little, “from what I remember woman is the gift of man. It’s you who is the treasure. I’m the one who should be most thankful.”

A slight breeze blew past us, and snowflakes of the purest white dusted the sky. I saw my breath in the air and I closed my eyes and tilted my chin up. When I peeked, my eyes open a bright silver streak shot across the sky and I gasped.

“A shooting star!” I exclaimed.

James smiled widely, “yup, I’m definitely feeling like this is a God-moment.”

“All moments are God-moments,” I laughed to tease him.

“How right you are love,” he grinned and set down his lantern and coffee. He took my hands in his and instinctively I knew what to do. I began to circle him and then I ran. He held on tightly and swung me. I bent my knees and let out a “wwwwwhhheeeeee!” as he lifted me in the air.

Setting me down after about the fifth circle he took my hands again, resting one on his shoulder and keeping one. With his free hand, he held me above my waist and together we danced. Our eyes locked and all the world disappeared into a void behind him. All I could see was him and for a moment I was lost in his gleaming hazel eyes. He began to sing a love song to me and the sound of his rich, deep, and mellow voice in song undid all walls my heart had ever erected. Suddenly I enjoyed the godly gift of giving and receiving love in a flowing stream of divine pleasure.

My lips smeared into a crumpled smile and my eyes watered all over again.

We seemed to dance forever until he stopped. He kissed my hand before picking up his coffee and the lantern.

I was in a daze as he escorted me back to the house. We were both quiet again. I started to walk up the stairs but James didn’t release my hand. I looked back at him and his caramel colored face seemed to glow. Blades of his curly deep auburn hair had escaped from underneath his dark blue beanie. A muscle jerked in his jaw and he opened his mouth and then hesitated. I turned around, faced him and waited.

After several seconds he finally spoke, “I think it’s time to come clean.”

My heart jumped, “What do you mean?” I asked.

“I mean, well…I think I can come out and tell your father, mother and brother how much you mean to me.”

I could hear my heart in my ears and felt my pulse in my neck.

“Why my mother and brother as well?” I asked out without thinking.

“Because your mother and David are also authority figures in your life. And that position warrants the upmost honor.”

He saw how my eyes shifted in the candlelight.

“Are you ready, sweet one?” he asked and released my hand to rub the back of my arm lightly.

I chewed my bottom lip for a moment out of joyous thoughts and also nervousness. I was tempted to fear that my family would reject his request to court me, but I quickly denied those thoughts access to my mind. Hadn’t God already proven that He was faithful so many times?

I nodded my head slowly in response, a smile growing on my lips.

James beamed and appeared relived at the same time, “I’ve been praying about the right timing for a while now. And honestly, I feel like I could wait for you forever. You’re a treasure worth any price Autumn.” His voice became hoarse with emotion and my eyes misted. My heart felt full like a peach close to its fattest and sweetest state. He cleared his throat and continued, “it’s hard to explain, but I know somehow that God has been doing something in your heart that makes…now a good time. Even though whatever He is doing hasn’t fully…matured yet. I know you’re blossoming. Also, I want to be as honest and forthcoming with your family as possible. And I know they respectfully deserve to know my intentions. I have the highest regard for your family. They mean more to me than I can describe.”

“I know they do,” I said and took his hand. With trembling lips, I kissed his fingers gently and briefly. He seemed surprised and his eyes enlarged at my intimate gesture. I never blinked as I kissed him. I wanted him to know that my heart was swollen for him. I wanted to remove the emblematic veil from my face. James slowly withdrew his hand and kissed the exact same spot I had. My stomach fluttered and I felt my knees go weak.

After ascending the stairs James opened up the front door for me, “have a good night beautiful princess.” He bid me. I saw he was going back outside to talk to God. “Good night,” I whispered with a large smile, “enjoy your time with God.” Slowly he closed the door and I watched him from the window as he walked back to the spot where I met him. With the music of his voice still ringing in my heart I took off Papa’s coat, pulled off his beanie and kicked off my boots. I climbed up the hall stairs and curled up in bed, once more gazing up at the star streaked sky. All I could do was voice, “thank you God,” over and over again before I began drifting to sleep. Another verse from my spirit rose to my understanding like the sweet potency of an aromatic candle shop: I went to sleep, but my heart stayed awake. [I dreamed that I heard] the voice of my beloved as he knocked [at the door of my mother’s cottage]. Open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my spotless one [he said], for I am wet with the [heavy] night dew; my hair is covered with it. (Song of Solomon 5:2). The verse came like an undercurrent of sugary water to my heart…and inside I saw Jesus at the door of a secret alcove in my heart. I heard a voice speak from within, “It’s Me. I’m speaking to you through the pleasure. Let me in deeper beloved.”

I whispered to my holy Bridegroom, “every door in my heart I open to You without reservation.”

A tangible peace coated some deep part within my soul before my eyes finally fluttered close. That night I dreamed I was in Heaven. I was sailing on an endless crystal glass ocean like sapphire waters. Jesus was on the sail ship with me and before us was mountains covered with lush vegetation. Clouds of desert pink glowed and made images in the sky. I was in a sheer white dress and a golden crown—simple yet elegant was on my head. Jewels were pressed into the points of my crown. Jesus came from behind the steering wheel to my side. He grinned as he approached. His eyes were burning love. He spoke in a voice like many waters, “this is the ocean of my pleasure…of my goodness…of my provision. It is my delight that you sail on it always. It is my happiness to give you good and perfect things.” I turned to Him teary-eyed, “the only real goodness in my life is You…from which all these other blessings flow.” I hugged his neck and He took me in His arms and I never felt more loved. The sky was blue…so blue it appeared fluid. The colors here were beyond imagination and they burst with radiant light…

~I hope you enjoyed this sneak peak. If you want more stories on divine romance, see my Free Inspiration page. You can also purchase a copy of my book, Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul, by clicking here!

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