I fall to my knees from His radiant light…simultaneously I cry even as my heart explodes with joy; rejoicing resounds in my inner man at the sight of the greatest Lover in all creation.
He causes me to cry and laugh at the same time.
There are only two things that pierce the human soul: beauty and pain.
He is both.
He is the greatest beauty, the most radiant light, the highest joy, and yet those eyes of fluid love like liquid lava burns the one it meets.
In His eyes I see an all-consuming fire; I see a deeper knowledge of myself than I have, I see Heaven, I see grace offered at a great sacrifice.
I see His pain.
I see His joy.
I see His passion.
I see the One who created me from a desire to love every part of me.
I see a redeeming love.
I see His wrists, knowing blood dripped from them like a river.
I see the eyes of eternity loving my ethereal form and my spiritual inner person.
I see a Man who pursued me at the highest cost.
I weep, I sob, I am ruined and saved in His arms.
He tells me He loves me.
He tells me, “Everything I have is yours, and everything you are is Mine.”
I walk on a distant hill in the cool of the morning. The sky glows a deep blue and I realize I am married to the greatest King.
He is no ordinary King. He doesn’t own a nation; He doesn’t own a country; He doesn’t own seas of gold; He doesn’t own a thousand rolling mountains on miles and miles of land…no…
He owns it all.
He owns the oceans.
He owns the world.
He owns every speck of dirt on the ground.
He owns every tree, every seed, every beast, every insect.
He owns justice.
He owns time.
He owns all wisdom.
He owns all riches.
He owns all goodness.
He owns…everything.
I look up and see the stars, glistening above my head, and He tells me, “They are yours.”
I think of them like wedding rings gifted to me.
The galaxies, infinite.
My mind tries to wrap around eternity.
My heart understands His love when my mind doesn’t.
I know because over the years the greatest gift He’s ever given me wasn’t my initial salvation…no, it was loving me day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year faithfully, despite my brokenness, despite my unfaithfulness, despite the times I fussed angrily at Him, despite my weakness, despite my flight, despite my disobedience, despite my incapability to believe His love.
He loved me in my mess, in my dirt, in my blood, in my sin.
He’s seen the worst of me, and He proclaims the best anyway.
He calls me a princess.
He calls me beloved.
He shocks me time and time again when He says, “I commit myself to you. Receive my love.”
I look upon Him, all beautiful, so holy, so pure, so glorious, so powerful, so rich, so loving, and I weep.
His love drives out fear from my veins and floods me with living water.
He loves me so much He puts His Spirit in me.
He puts His very heart in me.
He says, “We are no longer two but one. I am inside of you.”
I cry.
How could He?
He, so pure and holy, put something so precious and eternal in my body?
No human lover, no matter how much passion, no matter how pure or fiery their love for a spouse, mother, father, or friend was, could ever give them their own life on a spiritual level.
It’s so much more than going to die for a person.
It’s permanently putting yourself in another no matter what the cost.
It’s sharing breath, sharing thoughts, and sharing emotion at the deepest conscious and subconscious level.
Only He is powerful enough to do that, only His love is that beautiful.
He tells me “I love you” daily and His whispers of passion erode the wall round my heart like the waves of an ocean against rock.
You love me, and all I want to do is worship You.
“His voice and speech are exceedingly sweet; yes, he is altogether lovely [the whole of him delights and is precious]. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem!”
—Song of Solomon 5:16 AMPC
~This worshipful sonnet is taken from my book about Jesus’ bridegroom love, Romantic Rendezvous for The Soul. To purchase a copy click here. Thank you for your support! <3
“As I read, I quickly became enthralled with this book, so beautifully written in the language of love. Each of these short stories so accurately reflects the romantic and wooing heart of the Bridegroom which draws you to Himself into a deeper place of love and intimacy. If you have not yet experienced romantic intimacy with God, I’m confident that this book will set you on course. It’s bound to warm your soul and whet your desire for your own heart-to-heart conversations and experiences with God. The author creatively ministers to the soul, bringing truth to light in the most tangible ways; you will feel that God is speaking directly to you, and He most certainly is! Some stories caused me to be drawn away into remembrance of my own experiences and conversations with God that have freed my soul; others caused me to reevaluate my heart’s commitment to my first Husband and cry out for forgiveness; and yet others simply took me on a delightful and exciting adventure of what the beginning of a holy, unadulterated love looks like – so refreshing to the soul! I commend the author for using her creative gifting to share personal reflections and heart intimacies which I know could only come from the deep well of Father’s heart. I highly recommend this book as a must read!” -Marina Garcia, worshipper.
Then was Jesus led up of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil. [2] And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward an hungred. [3] And when the tempter came to him, he said, If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread.
Why did Jesus fast 40 days and nights?
To show Himself to be greater than Moses and to usher in the new covenant of His blood.
Moses fasted 40 days and nights in service to God when he was given the ten commandments as a covenant to Israel.
Exodus 34:27-29,33 KJVS
And the Lord said unto Moses, Write thou these words: for after the tenor of these words I have made a covenant with thee and with Israel. [28] And he was there with the Lord forty days and forty nights; he did neither eat bread, nor drink water. And he wrote upon the tables the words of the covenant, the ten commandments. [29] And it came to pass, when Moses came down from mount Sinai with the two tables of testimony in Moses’ hand, when he came down from the mount, that Moses wist not that the skin of his face shone while he talked with him. [33] And till Moses had done speaking with them, he put a vail on his face.
Moses fasted, gave the covenant on stone, and put on the veil. Jesus fasted, gave the covenant through His blood, and the veil was torn.
Why was the first temptation about food?
As Moses fasted he was in the presence of God. Jesus on the other hand fasted and was in the presence of Satan. He was not supernaturally sustained like Moses, and it was to show Himself greater than Moses and to fulfill all righteousness so that He could be the sacrifice for our sins. He had to prove Himself by serving the Father through fasting, even unto death. In the weakest physical state He still overcame all temptation.
The first temptation was to use the power of God to serve His own needs, contrary to fasting and serving the Father before serving Himself. Moses fasted until the work was done. Jesus fasted until the temptation (the work) was done.
In the same way my last post showed fasting is not about you, your flesh, or your needs, I want to change how you think about the question of “how long do I fast?”
If you look at it as serving, then you don’t have to use arbitrary amounts of time. Fast and praise God until you feel a change in the Spirit. This is sometimes called “praying through ” or receiving your breakthrough.
If you’re fasting and serving others, you’re done when the need is met. It doesn’t have to be for a set amount of days or even a full day. It doesn’t have to be every time you serve: In the case of Moses and Jesus, they didn’t fast during every period of service otherwise they wouldn’t have eaten for the rest of their lives.
View it through the lens of relationship and remember that it’s symbolic. Fast until the work is done.
Stephen McClelland is a licensed minister and a church consultant . A graduate of Charis Bible College. He hosted a radio show in California called Encounter, where he retold amazing personal stories of people experiencing Jesus. He has served God as a preacher and pastor, with a strong emphasis on relationship with God and hearing His voice.
“When I read Visions of Celestial Love, it is as if I am brought down to my knees to worship. What the Holy Spirit has done in and through Ashley, He is doing also in me. What a wonderful experience. It is very rich. Thank you for sharing the treasure.”—Riko Suci Alam, CEO of Ligar Jaya and owner of Clove Garden hotel in Bandung Indonesia.
“Unbelief is rooted in lovelessness—the lack of accepting the full measure of my love. Without love there cannot be faith, for faith works by love. Without faith, it is impossible to please God. You cannot receive what we yearn for you to have…what I paid a dear price for you to have.” Jesus sighed heavily.
His words bit at the philosophy in my mind, and thus damaged my pride with health-giving grace.
We were nearing the lake. As I looked ahead, I discerned glimmers of its moonlit waters behind the tall pine trees.
I began to be thirsty, and without verbalizing my desire, Jesus reached in the back and grabbed a cold bottle of water. “For you, love.”
I took it with a small “thank you.”
Inside, I mulled on his words and felt like the watery surface of my soul was being stirred by an unfamiliar wind. I knew his presence was causing the stirring and I wasn’t sure I was ready to uncover what was masked underneath the water.
“Don’t be hurt by my words. They are only meant to heal you and set you free.” He extended his arm and stroked my cheek with his right hand. “I love you just as the Father loves me. You mean more than the world to us. What I am saying to you now is the same thing I dealt with my disciples about. They too were often fearful. Think of when I walked on water and they imagined I was a ghost, or when they feared after my death and hid? Even after I told them I would rise again. What has tempted you is common to man. But I Am the door of escape.”
There was a great inflection of hope in his voice. “You will see great things. I will perform wonders in your life.”
My heart lit up with warm joy at his words. It was as if the Spirit of God inside me poured a cup of warm oiled water over the table of my heart’s imagination, scenting everything with hope. I was so awed by the deep intimacy of having the very Spirit of God indwell me and bear witness to the words of Christ.
However, without warning my reverie was soon interrupted by the accusatory thought that miracles could never be performed in my life or by my hands. My emotions began to sink.
Jesus’ face wrinkled as he sensed the enemy. “What’s this?” he asked, prying for me to confess a truth he already knew.
I stammered, “I…I…”
“This is the real enemy love. Not the devil. He is already defeated. But the entertainment of thoughts that are not of faith is the enemy. It’s the only enemy that has the possibility of stealing what is rightfully yours by grace. It’s the only enemy of physical and emotional healing, salvation, deliverance, and wholeness. Don’t you see? You already have everything in me. You are blessed with every blessing. How could Father spare not even me from you…yet deny you anything else? He has graciously given you all things for life abundant and godliness. You are not your own righteousness, you are not your own salvation, you are not your own qualification for our blessings. You will never be your own deliverance. Every good and perfect gift comes from above, from our Father. He is light. He doesn’t change his mind. These promises do not shift. They are a constant reminder of our unshifting grace and unmovable love for you. Faith for the promises is based on your understanding of Father’s goodness and my finished work.”
I started to sense that my soul was knit to his, and that I couldn’t hide in any way. I became aware of his presence within me like concentrated love attempting to ease every hurting place. I felt undivided acceptance and affection and peace that produced confidence.
-I hope you enjoyed this snippet from my newest book, Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul (about inner healing through intimacy with Jesus )! To purchase a copy, click here
~To learn more about my book, visit my Free Inspiration page
Scripture references from this preview :
Galatians 5:6, Hebrews 11:6 John 15:9 1 Corinthians 10:13 Ephesians 1:3 Romans 8:32 2 Peter 1:3 James 1:17
The first time I heard the sacred sound of Elena’s heartbeat, I recognized life was in me (a person is pronounced dead once their heart stops, so it seems logical to me that a person should be pronounced alive when their heart starts). I knew she wasn’t “my body”, because I don’t have 2 hearts. If I did, then I’m sure doctors would consider something to be medically “wrong” with me. I only have one . And it was her heartbeat that my OBGYN recorded…not mine. It was the sound of her heart that forever changed mine for the better.
I don’t pretend to know why every person who chooses to get an abortion does so. I can never understand unless they personally tell me. I genuinely want to know why people choose this. I’m not casting ignorant judgement/stones. Instead, I want to know how we as a society can help our most vulnerable members live (both the mothers and their babies).
What I do know for sure (and every scientist who sticks with the facts will tell you this also) is that unborn babies are human. They are living. The issue is not their humanity…but their worth in the eyes of men/women outside the womb. This is something called the “personhood theory.” And this theory is just that…theory…not fact.
The personhood theory creates an imagined “subclass” of humans whose right to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” is dependent on “higher humans” (those with the ability to intellectually voice their thoughts…who are considered “superior” to the subclass).
This theory has spilled the lifeblood of billions of people over the course of recorded human history and civilizations as we know it. This theory has bounced between people groups as changing laws have permitted it to legally kill those who (at the time) are considered “subhuman”: Jews, African Americans, Native Americans,, Asians and yes…different “classes” of the Caucasian “race” (ex: the Irish). No “people group” has been untouched from this deadly ideology.
I pray for the day, when love for humanity (as a whole/one group) will purge the hearts of all men. I pray for the day when unconditional love (not based on race, physical ability, religion, political friction, etc) will sweep over this planet and stir the hearts of mankind to “love your neighbor as you do yourself.” -Jesus. I long for the day, when the majority of mankind will be compassionate toward their fellow men and will put righteousness and True justice above their own selfish motives/wants/offenses, etc. Because only when we learn to truly value every life the way God does, and put the needs of others first, will the world be free of all evil/sorrow.
It’s not up to a politician. It’s a decision we make everyday to get up and to walk in love Jesus gave us the answer when He said, “if you die to this life (selfishness, godlessness) you will truly live. Only when you lose your life, will you find it.”
Motherhood and marriage have caused me to “lose” my life more than anything (besides Jesus) in the world. And because of my family, my heart has been purged of darkness (selfishness). Their lives have swept over my soul like a constant river, cleaning my mind of impure sediments (hidden and bad agendas). They have required of me to “lay down my life, so that I may truly live ” And in this, I have tasted the radiant blisses of heaven and feasted on the sweetest joy . .
I have “seen” God more clearly because when we “love one another, God dwells in our midst” -1st John 4
Xoxo
~3 months after her birth, I laid Elena on the bed and played a recording of her heartbeat (I had taped her heartbeat on one of my visits to my OBGYN…when her life was still hidden inside me). I can’t tell you how sacred and priceless that moment was as I watched her react to the sound of her own heart.
~This devotional is taken from my book, Visions of Celestial Love. To learn more about it, visit my Purchasable Goodies page.
Therefore, behold, I will allure her [Israel] and bring her into the wilderness, and I will speak tenderly and to her heart. There I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor [troubling] to be for her a door of hope and expectation. And she shall sing there and respond as in the days of her youth and as at the time when she came up out of the land of Egypt. —Hosea 2:14–15 AMPC
This is sheer poetry to my soul. God speaks volumes to His beloved in these verses. The church is His beloved, both individually and collectively. This morning I dropped my brother off to school and was aware of a familiar pain. I spent time alone in my mom’s van talking to God about it. I was honest and open with Him.
When I walked in the house these were the verses that I turned to. Through them He pointed things out to me. He said, “I want to give you hope again. I don’t want you to give in to cynicism because of disappointments and supposedly deferred dreams.”
God said He would make my troubling a door of hope for me, and not just a door of hope but a door of expectation.
God reminded me through scripture that He is a good lover, because a good lover is the caretaker of His beloved’s heart. He said, “I will speak tenderly and to her heart.”
As my eyes scrolled down the pages He spoke more:
And it shall be in that day, says the Lord, that you will call Me Ishi [my Husband], and you shall no more call Me Baali [my Baal]…. And I will break the bow and the sword and [abolish battle equipment and] conflict out of the land and will make you lie down safely. —Hosea 2:16, 18b AMPC
Through these verses the Lord said, “You will know Me personally. You will be close to Me, for I will cause your heart through intimacy to call Me Husband.”
He also said, “I will break the bow in your soul, I will abolish the inner turmoil you feel and cause you to rest in my serene peace.”
Prompted through reflections of His loving words I continued reading:
And I will betroth you to Me forever; yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and justice, in steadfast love, and in mercy. I will even betroth you to Me in stability and in faithfulness, and you shall know (recognize, be acquainted with, appreciate, give heed to, and cherish) the Lord. —Hosea 2:19–20 AMPC
Here God spoke, “My mercy, and My love for you is steadfast. It does not die, it does not deplete. It isn’t diminished by you, nor however you think you’ve disappointed Me. My love is timeless and nothing you do or don’t do can affect the steadfastness of it.
“You are rightly Mine through royal, and holy blood. Blood that is other, not of this world. Blood that is spirit and life paid for you to live in paradise and be wooed by My love. You are betrothed to Me in righteousness and justice. It is right and just that you are Mine…and I am yours as far as My love is concerned.
“I will even marry you in stability and faithfulness. Do you know what that means? That means you don’t have to worry about chaos. Our marriage is stable as far as the Heavens are everlasting and immovable. You have peace. We have peace. Our relationship is marked by My peace…and you will remain in this peace for as long as you know that My love cannot be moved from you. You are My heart’s gaze, and My affections are set firmly upon you. Know that even if you fail to believe sometimes, you always have My peace…you just don’t always remain in it.
“I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. I will be faithful to you through all eternity. Let My eyes wash you with My love. I look at no others. I see no others. I Am the Husband of your dreams. The Husband that marks every part of you and calls you beautiful all over. The Husband who sees you on those early mornings where your hair is disheveled, when your breath stinks, when you’re having an emotional meltdown, when you’re moody, when you’re sweaty from work, and in sweat pants. I love you in those areas that you think you are ugly. I love to love you in those areas where you feel embarrassed and would rather not be seen. I love you in those areas because those are the areas where you most need to be loved.
“I Am the Husband of your dreams. I have eyes only for you. And I will be faithful to you always. Though the world shakes, though times change, though people come and people go, though you may act unfaithfully, though you may lose sight of love, though estrangement and loneliness may come, though you may pull away sometimes, though things rage…I will be faithful to you always.
“You are the queen I’ve waited for since I created the world. And I will clothe you in royalty and crown you with honor and virtue. It is Me who makes you beautiful. You are a reflection of all My affections, and the more you receive My love for you the more you display My beauty…the beauty that was always yours to own and have.
“You are the prize I’ve worked for throughout the ages. You are the one My heart dreamed of when I hovered over the waters in the beginning. Nothing else in all of creation can compare to you, My love—not oceans, not seas, not sunrises, not sunsets, not grassy plains or rainbows in the sky, not angels, not gold or precious stones.
“If only you could see the way I stare at you. If only you could taste the love that wells up in My heart every time I see you. I want you to experience Me the way I experience you. I am here, and I am here for a lifetime. I’ll be here for eternity loving you, and I rejoice in the day that you believe it. I am faithful.”
And in that day I will respond, says the Lord; I will respond to the heavens [which ask for rain to pour on the earth], and they shall respond to the earth [which begs for the rain it needs],
And the earth shall respond to the grain and the wine and the oil [which beseech it to bring them forth], and these shall respond to Jezreel [restored Israel, who prays for a supply of them].
And I will sow her for Myself anew in the land, and I will have love, pity, and mercy for her who had not obtained love, pity, and mercy; and I will say to those who were not My people, You are My people, and they shall say, You are my God!—Hosea 2:21–23 AMPC
May God’s loving words wash you with sweet, restoring love, the way it did me this morning.
To purchase a copy of Visions of Celestial Love, click here.
“A delightful book that reflects the praises from a heart that desires to abide closely with our Heavenly Father. Written in a style that summons us to experience a journey of deeper intimacy with a loving God. Ashley covers the foundation of the Christian faith that brings encouragement and assurance of God’s promises when faced with life’s challenges. Embracing our uniqueness and the safety of transparency before our Maker who cares about the most intricate details of our life. Yes, an invitation indeed from the One and only who can fill what are heart’s ache for.” — Jocelyn Reyna,
~I felt Jesus tell me these words on a night where my soul was grieved. I hope these words bring you as much comfort as they did me. Be blessed:
You were made to be loved.
Deeply.
You were made to be nourished, and nurtured.
You were made to be appreciated.
You were made to feel the waves of my love pouring over you like warm-scented rain every day.
You were made to be kissed good night every night.
You were made for my joy, my peace, my comfort. You were made to be faithfully loved—not just for a year, or ten years or fifty…but forever.
I know you long. I know you desire. And I want to take you up in the sky until you can taste the clouds. Until your eyes widen with a view of Heaven.
Woman that I love, listen to me. Read these words. Let them saturate your heart and bring the deep healing that is so desperately needed. Let not your heart shrivel, but expand in the embrace you were made for.
Where you are cold, I will make you warm. Where you are disappointed I will prove Myself faithful. Where you are bitter I will make you sweet.
I will love you past the mental bondage, past the pain, past the heart hurts, past the despairing hope. I see you hoping, struggling, letting go, and taking up again. I know the weariness a broken life can bring. I know the daily routine that dries out all the excitement in your heart.
I know the wishes you have that seem so far stretched that you look upon them as fantasy… as child’s play. Don’t scold yourself for them. I want to give you all that you long for, that is right for you to have. My Father only gives good and perfect gifts. It starts with letting yourself be embraced, with letting the tears flow, with looking upon my face, with diving in my eyes.
My love is consuming yet it’s gentle. It restores life to the dying. It brings life to the dead.
Look up. Look down. Look around you. I’m right here. I’m right here. I’m in your heart. Ask me what you would have me do for you. Talk to me.
Be loved. Be most deeply loved.
Don’t settle for anything less than perfect love.
This snippet was taken from my book, Visions of Celestial Love. You can learn more about it on my Purchasable Goodies page or purchase a copy on amazon.
“Visions of Celestial Love is a book of inspiring quotes and beautiful prose about God’s unconditional love for mankind. The insights of this book help us to understand that it was the Father’s great love for us that made a way for us to have life together with His Son, Jesus Christ. Through it we get a glimpse into the true meaning of Christ’s sacrifice of love expressed through His death, burial and resurrection as God’s magnificent gift of grace to us. His blood made it possible for all those who put their faith in Him to have fellowship with His Father again.
I am confident that at the completion of this book, you will also seek after God with your whole heart and want to be in His presence forever.” —Alice Paige, True-Heart friend of author
Don’t always settle for barely getting by when you have a God of more than enough.
Jehovah Jirah is one of the ways God named Himself in the bible. The full meaning of that is “I WAS, I AM, and I ALWAYS WILL BE your provision.”
What this means to me is that when I have Him I’m not lacking anything. In fact, the greatest lack I’ve ever experienced is when I was without God. I was lacking Him.
He says that if you diligently seek Him, you will be rewarded. Rewarded with what? God promised Abraham that He would be his shield and his exceeding great reward. Seek Him, get Him. Simple.
And when you seek first Him and His kingdom “all these other things will be added unto you.” Jehovah Jirah. God your provision, not simply God your provider.What are you lacking? Joy, peace, hope, patience, or money?
You probably thought I was talking about only money the whole time…In Jesus all these needs are met. Exceedingly. He is the provision.
And I heard a loud voice in heaven saying: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of His Christ. For the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down—he who accuses them day and night before our God. They have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony. And they did not love their lives so as to shy away from death. -Revelation 12:10-11
For God’s glory I share this testimony of how Jesus saved my life over 6 years ago. I’ve been revisiting God’s amazing grace and the power of the finished work of Jesus on the cross. It has brought me to my knees in awe of His love.
Before I attended Charis Bible college, I was stuck in religious bondage for about 5 years, to where I went to church but I had little to no peace in my heart. I prayed but felt I was strangely distant from the Lord. In those late teen years and my early twenties I devoured several Christian books in an attempt to “restore” my relationship with Father. I happened to run across one that wasn’t Christian but claimed to be. It was, in fact, ancient Jewish mysticism (aka: ancient witchcraft that clandestinely twisted scripture). I read about 4 pages before I threw the book away because although I was intrigued, something didn’t feel quite right (thank God for the Holy Spirit). Unfortunately, even though I discarded the book, I believed some of the lies that were written in it.
Because I believed lies, it gave room for the deep bondage that would come (God’s kingdom and the kingdom of darkness both work through the faith/beliefs of men). One night I went to bed and was literally pinned down by things I couldn’t see. And then it felt like somebody grabbed a garbage can filled with rats and bugs and poured it into my belly (yes I could literally feel things crawling inside of me). That was probably the worse night of my life!
I went to a church that didn’t believe Christians could have demons or needed deliverance so as a 22 year old girl I felt alone, lost and abandoned. And of course the devil told me I was going to Hell and there was no forgiveness for what I had done….even though I had been totally deceived.
The Bible does say after all that the devil masks around like an “angel of light” and a “minister of righteousness” (2 Corinthians 11:14). Basically he’s a religious nut…that’s why we have so many different religions in the world and even much of the church is divided (so sad).
The devil knows mankind was made for God. As a result, we have a God-sized hole in our hearts (most people are thirsty and looking for God even if they deny Him). As a result, the devil, with the cooperation of willing men throughout the centuries, have concocted thousands of religions that subtly exclude its adherents from a truly deep, satisfying and pure relationship with God. Jesus did call a handful of the religious leaders in his day, “twice the sons of hell” (Matthew 23:15). I liken religion and God to the ocean verses a cleansing stream. To a dying, thirsty man, ocean water would only serve to further dehydrate and kill him. But pure stream water would quench his thirst and give life to his body. The only problem is, to the untrained eye, up close, religion and God virtually look the same. It’s all about clever imitation with the devil.
Because of my works mentality I believed God was angry at me and that he wanted to punish me for my sins and ignorance (that mentality has its roots in a Luciferian lie I later discovered). So I fasted for over a month and cried for weeks and weeks and weeks in what seemed like endless sorrow (not to mention I was being physically and emotionally tormented 24/7).
But God sent faithful, Holy-Spirit filled men and women into my life who all told me the same thing, “The Holy Spirit says you are the apple of His eye and God wants you to rest in His love.”
I thought they were ridiculous.
Rest in His love?
How would doing that deliver me?
Surely I had to do something to earn my deliverance?!
I guess I had forgotten about scriptures like Ephesians 2:8-9: “God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.”
God needed me to have faith in his grace to set me free because everything in the kingdom of God works through faith. Grace has already paid for everything. Faith simply accepts the great provisions of grace as a freegift. No one with pride can accept grace because it requires trust and naturally obliterates all self-boasting. But I was so saturated in incorrect beliefs (religious dogma, and man’s traditions which Jesus called “the leaven of the Pharisees”) that it was making the word of God ineffectual in my heart (Mark 7:13). I still thought I had to work to receive help from God.
One night Jesus gave me a vision. I saw this little girl in a dark environment. Suddenly what looked like big deformed monsters began to surround her. She was no match for them but weakly lifted her fists up to try and defend herself anyway. In the vision, I could tell her heart was bleeding out in sorrow and anguish. Before any of the monsters could take a step toward her a flash of what appeared like lightning came from the sky and Jesus stood before her. He lifted His hand and fire came out and struck the “monsters.” Defeated and frightened they all ran away and He was alone with this little girl. I instinctively knew she was me. He picked her up and too exhausted to do anything else, she laid her head on His shoulder. Jesus put his hand on her back and fire went into her. It was the same fire He used on the demons. The fire was not meant to harm her but to burn out what was inside of her that He didn’t put there (traces of the demons lies). (You see what acts like salvation, healing and beauty to some people, acts like destruction and death to others. Jesus doesn’t change, people simply react to Him differently. His light (or fire in this vision) is the Truth. And when some people encounter the Truth they are healed by it…others are offended and treat it as hatred. In John 8:44 the devil is called the “father of lies.” He and the demons who follow him, cannot bear or stand the truth. This is evident when Jesus uses the word of God to rebuke satan when He was in the wilderness. It is also evident when Jesus walked the earth and his light either attracted or repelled people- John 1:1-9).
This and a few other visions/confirmations was how I knew God indeed wanted me to “rest in His love.” So I did. I revisited Paul’s letters on being under grace verses being under the law. I filled my soul with endearing scriptures that pointed out God’s unconditional love for me. I fell in love with the book of Isaiah, John, Hebrews, Galatians, etc. Many miracles happened during that time (including an angelic encounter and the Holy Spirit leading me to a famous minister who had heard from God about me, he actually ended up paying for me to stay in a fancy hotel after only meeting me for a few seconds)…I hope to write a small book about all the miracles that happened one day.
For about two months I had to learn how to stare at the cross. I didn’t just look at or glance in its direction…I literally stared at it for hours upon hours through watching movies like: The Passion of the Christ, The Gospel of John/Matthew, etc. I learned that in looking at Jesus on the cross, I would understand the greatest divine exchange that took place between God and mankind by His grace (John 3:14, Numbers 21:9). I studied the power of love, grace and the finished work of Jesus Christ.
What did His resurrection from the dead mean?
Who was I in Christ?
I learned of my righteousness: I was righteous by faith not by works. I learned that I was seated with Christ in heavenly places…far above principalities and powers. I learned (ha ha!) that the devil is a DEFEATED foe who cannot stand before the risen Lord (who lives in me and every born again believer).
I learned I was dearly, and eternally loved and that all my sins: past, present and future had already been cleansed by Jesus blood–I only needed to receive it. He was cursed so I could be blessed. By His wounds I am healed. The joy and peace of the Gospel began to return to my soul and strengthen me (now keep in my mind, my body was telling me different things. Even my soul was telling me different things). I had to learn that I was equipped with Holy Spirit ability to cast down imaginations, doctrines, theologies and every high thing that exalted itself against the true knowledge of God.
Jesus either finished paying for everything needed for: salvation, healing, deliverance, etc or He did nothing at all on that cross.
There is no middle ground!
I learned I am a daughter of God. I also discovered why I lacked peace for those 5 years. You are either under grace or you’re under law…there is no middle ground.
I was under the curse of the law, but once I accepted the fact that I could never earn things from God, I could never work for salvation or his love or healing or deliverance then the power of grace (the Holy Spirit) manifested the finished work of Jesus in my body and in my soul.
I discovered what God meant by every knee will bow and every tongue confess Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father (Philippians 2:10-11). I learned sickness and disease were a part of the curse that Jesus already paid healing for (Isaiah 53:5, Psalm 103:3). My eyes were divinely healed (before I wore thick bifocal glasses and I was cross eyed). I was supernaturally delivered by the power of the Holy Spirit who was always there inside of me. He is infinitely more powerful than any disease or any devil. I literally got off my mental sick bed and walked away from bondage.
Since then I admit I have a hatred for religion because I see how dangerous it is. I see how incredibly life-threatening it is to believe any lie about Jesus.
If you’re Christianity feels joyless, peace-less or full of burdens, then I have to wonder: are you trying to earn anything that God has freely given you by grace (because Jesus earned it for you)?
Jesus finished the work. Jesus gets all the glory. And we will all cast our crowns before his feet because every miracle, sign and wonder is done in his name to the glory of God the Father by the power of the Holy Spirit (Revelation 4:10).
I could not have survived what I went through without a revelation of his love that made space for inner transformation. When I behold the cross it speaks to me of God’s love for me…not my love for Him (though I do love Him). But I learned it’s not so much about that but about how much He loves me. Jesus finished it all because God so loved the world He sent His only begotten Son that whosoever believe in Him should not perish but have everlasting life (John 3:16).
~1 of my latest testimonies was when I was witnessing to an ex-warlock (male witch) and in my witnessing about God’s kingdom being here on earth and the baptism of the Holy Spirit my body became warm from the inside out. The man I was witnessing to stopped me with wide eyes and asked, “do you see them?” “See what?” I asked. He responded with, “I see God’s angels around you. I see these big white wings all around you. Something really strong is protecting you!” I know he perceived those wings to be “angles” but I’m certain that he saw a manifestation of the Holy Spirit who told me shortly after my deliverance, “I will always protect you.”
If you’re a believer you are completely loved and totally accepted by God and all your sins have been washed away. As Jesus is so are you in this world (1 John 4: 17). And if you’re not a believer you are dearly loved and all your sins have been paid for…you are forgiven. You only need to accept Jesus as your Savior and Lord. It’s the almost too good to be true news of the Gospel.
Everything is paid for in full and everything that could have been a cause for fear in your life has already been defeated.
Now this is what the LORD says—He who created you, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine! -Isaiah 43:!
~For more personal and intimate encounters about my journey from law to grace, from religion to relationship and from seeing God as a taskmaster to beholding Him as a loving Father, check out my book Visions of Celestial Love!
“Visions of Celestial Love is a book of inspiring quotes and beautiful prose about God’s unconditional love for mankind. The insights of this book help us to understand that it was the Father’s great love for us that made a way for us to have life together with His Son, Jesus Christ. Through it we get a glimpse into the true meaning of Christ’s sacrifice of love expressed through His death, burial and resurrection as God’s magnificent gift of grace to us. His blood made it possible for all those who put their faith in Him to have fellowship with His Father again. I am confident that at the completion of this book, you will also seek after God with your whole heart and want to be in His presence forever.” —Alice Paige,
~For a video on the true Gospel of Peace, click here. I own no rights to this video and its contents. Andrew Wommack’s teachings on God’s love and the Gospel helped me receive the truth during my darkest hours. Later, I attended his Bible college where I met my husband. I can’t thank Andrew enough for his faithfulness to God and the body of Christ!
“When I read Visions of Celestial Love, it is as if I am brought down to my knees to worship. What the Holy Spirit has done in and through Ashley, He is doing also in me. What a wonderful experience. It is very rich. Thank you for sharing the treasure.”—Riko Suci Alam, CEO of Ligar Jaya and owner of Clove Garden hotel in Bandung Indonesia.
)! To purchase a copy, 
). They have required of me to “lay down my life, so that I may truly live ” And in this, I have tasted the radiant blisses of heaven and feasted on the sweetest joy 
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