Don’t always settle for barely getting by when you have a God of more than enough.
Jehovah Jirah is one of the ways God named Himself in the bible. The full meaning of that is “I WAS, I AM, and I ALWAYS WILL BE your provision.”
What this means to me is that when I have Him I’m not lacking anything. In fact, the greatest lack I’ve ever experienced is when I was without God. I was lacking Him.
He says that if you diligently seek Him, you will be rewarded. Rewarded with what? God promised Abraham that He would be his shield and his exceeding great reward. Seek Him, get Him. Simple.
And when you seek first Him and His kingdom “all these other things will be added unto you.” Jehovah Jirah. God your provision, not simply God your provider.What are you lacking? Joy, peace, hope, patience, or money?
You probably thought I was talking about only money the whole time…In Jesus all these needs are met. Exceedingly. He is the provision.
And I heard a loud voice in heaven saying: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of His Christ. For the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down—he who accuses them day and night before our God. They have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony. And they did not love their lives so as to shy away from death. -Revelation 12:10-11
For God’s glory I share this testimony of how Jesus saved my life over 6 years ago. I’ve been revisiting God’s amazing grace and the power of the finished work of Jesus on the cross. It has brought me to my knees in awe of His love.
Before I attended Charis Bible college, I was stuck in religious bondage for about 5 years, to where I went to church but I had little to no peace in my heart. I prayed but felt I was strangely distant from the Lord. In those late teen years and my early twenties I devoured several Christian books in an attempt to “restore” my relationship with Father. I happened to run across one that wasn’t Christian but claimed to be. It was, in fact, ancient Jewish mysticism (aka: ancient witchcraft that clandestinely twisted scripture). I read about 4 pages before I threw the book away because although I was intrigued, something didn’t feel quite right (thank God for the Holy Spirit). Unfortunately, even though I discarded the book, I believed some of the lies that were written in it.
Because I believed lies, it gave room for the deep bondage that would come (God’s kingdom and the kingdom of darkness both work through the faith/beliefs of men). One night I went to bed and was literally pinned down by things I couldn’t see. And then it felt like somebody grabbed a garbage can filled with rats and bugs and poured it into my belly (yes I could literally feel things crawling inside of me). That was probably the worse night of my life!
I went to a church that didn’t believe Christians could have demons or needed deliverance so as a 22 year old girl I felt alone, lost and abandoned. And of course the devil told me I was going to Hell and there was no forgiveness for what I had done….even though I had been totally deceived.
The Bible does say after all that the devil masks around like an “angel of light” and a “minister of righteousness” (2 Corinthians 11:14). Basically he’s a religious nut…that’s why we have so many different religions in the world and even much of the church is divided (so sad).
The devil knows mankind was made for God. As a result, we have a God-sized hole in our hearts (most people are thirsty and looking for God even if they deny Him). As a result, the devil, with the cooperation of willing men throughout the centuries, have concocted thousands of religions that subtly exclude its adherents from a truly deep, satisfying and pure relationship with God. Jesus did call a handful of the religious leaders in his day, “twice the sons of hell” (Matthew 23:15). I liken religion and God to the ocean verses a cleansing stream. To a dying, thirsty man, ocean water would only serve to further dehydrate and kill him. But pure stream water would quench his thirst and give life to his body. The only problem is, to the untrained eye, up close, religion and God virtually look the same. It’s all about clever imitation with the devil.
Because of my works mentality I believed God was angry at me and that he wanted to punish me for my sins and ignorance (that mentality has its roots in a Luciferian lie I later discovered). So I fasted for over a month and cried for weeks and weeks and weeks in what seemed like endless sorrow (not to mention I was being physically and emotionally tormented 24/7).
But God sent faithful, Holy-Spirit filled men and women into my life who all told me the same thing, “The Holy Spirit says you are the apple of His eye and God wants you to rest in His love.”
I thought they were ridiculous.
Rest in His love?
How would doing that deliver me?
Surely I had to do something to earn my deliverance?!
I guess I had forgotten about scriptures like Ephesians 2:8-9: “God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.”
God needed me to have faith in his grace to set me free because everything in the kingdom of God works through faith. Grace has already paid for everything. Faith simply accepts the great provisions of grace as a freegift. No one with pride can accept grace because it requires trust and naturally obliterates all self-boasting. But I was so saturated in incorrect beliefs (religious dogma, and man’s traditions which Jesus called “the leaven of the Pharisees”) that it was making the word of God ineffectual in my heart (Mark 7:13). I still thought I had to work to receive help from God.
One night Jesus gave me a vision. I saw this little girl in a dark environment. Suddenly what looked like big deformed monsters began to surround her. She was no match for them but weakly lifted her fists up to try and defend herself anyway. In the vision, I could tell her heart was bleeding out in sorrow and anguish. Before any of the monsters could take a step toward her a flash of what appeared like lightning came from the sky and Jesus stood before her. He lifted His hand and fire came out and struck the “monsters.” Defeated and frightened they all ran away and He was alone with this little girl. I instinctively knew she was me. He picked her up and too exhausted to do anything else, she laid her head on His shoulder. Jesus put his hand on her back and fire went into her. It was the same fire He used on the demons. The fire was not meant to harm her but to burn out what was inside of her that He didn’t put there (traces of the demons lies). (You see what acts like salvation, healing and beauty to some people, acts like destruction and death to others. Jesus doesn’t change, people simply react to Him differently. His light (or fire in this vision) is the Truth. And when some people encounter the Truth they are healed by it…others are offended and treat it as hatred. In John 8:44 the devil is called the “father of lies.” He and the demons who follow him, cannot bear or stand the truth. This is evident when Jesus uses the word of God to rebuke satan when He was in the wilderness. It is also evident when Jesus walked the earth and his light either attracted or repelled people- John 1:1-9).
This and a few other visions/confirmations was how I knew God indeed wanted me to “rest in His love.” So I did. I revisited Paul’s letters on being under grace verses being under the law. I filled my soul with endearing scriptures that pointed out God’s unconditional love for me. I fell in love with the book of Isaiah, John, Hebrews, Galatians, etc. Many miracles happened during that time (including an angelic encounter and the Holy Spirit leading me to a famous minister who had heard from God about me, he actually ended up paying for me to stay in a fancy hotel after only meeting me for a few seconds)…I hope to write a small book about all the miracles that happened one day.
For about two months I had to learn how to stare at the cross. I didn’t just look at or glance in its direction…I literally stared at it for hours upon hours through watching movies like: The Passion of the Christ, The Gospel of John/Matthew, etc. I learned that in looking at Jesus on the cross, I would understand the greatest divine exchange that took place between God and mankind by His grace (John 3:14, Numbers 21:9). I studied the power of love, grace and the finished work of Jesus Christ.
What did His resurrection from the dead mean?
Who was I in Christ?
I learned of my righteousness: I was righteous by faith not by works. I learned that I was seated with Christ in heavenly places…far above principalities and powers. I learned (ha ha!) that the devil is a DEFEATED foe who cannot stand before the risen Lord (who lives in me and every born again believer).
I learned I was dearly, and eternally loved and that all my sins: past, present and future had already been cleansed by Jesus blood–I only needed to receive it. He was cursed so I could be blessed. By His wounds I am healed. The joy and peace of the Gospel began to return to my soul and strengthen me (now keep in my mind, my body was telling me different things. Even my soul was telling me different things). I had to learn that I was equipped with Holy Spirit ability to cast down imaginations, doctrines, theologies and every high thing that exalted itself against the true knowledge of God.
Jesus either finished paying for everything needed for: salvation, healing, deliverance, etc or He did nothing at all on that cross.
There is no middle ground!
I learned I am a daughter of God. I also discovered why I lacked peace for those 5 years. You are either under grace or you’re under law…there is no middle ground.
I was under the curse of the law, but once I accepted the fact that I could never earn things from God, I could never work for salvation or his love or healing or deliverance then the power of grace (the Holy Spirit) manifested the finished work of Jesus in my body and in my soul.
I discovered what God meant by every knee will bow and every tongue confess Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father (Philippians 2:10-11). I learned sickness and disease were a part of the curse that Jesus already paid healing for (Isaiah 53:5, Psalm 103:3). My eyes were divinely healed (before I wore thick bifocal glasses and I was cross eyed). I was supernaturally delivered by the power of the Holy Spirit who was always there inside of me. He is infinitely more powerful than any disease or any devil. I literally got off my mental sick bed and walked away from bondage.
Since then I admit I have a hatred for religion because I see how dangerous it is. I see how incredibly life-threatening it is to believe any lie about Jesus.
If you’re Christianity feels joyless, peace-less or full of burdens, then I have to wonder: are you trying to earn anything that God has freely given you by grace (because Jesus earned it for you)?
Jesus finished the work. Jesus gets all the glory. And we will all cast our crowns before his feet because every miracle, sign and wonder is done in his name to the glory of God the Father by the power of the Holy Spirit (Revelation 4:10).
I could not have survived what I went through without a revelation of his love that made space for inner transformation. When I behold the cross it speaks to me of God’s love for me…not my love for Him (though I do love Him). But I learned it’s not so much about that but about how much He loves me. Jesus finished it all because God so loved the world He sent His only begotten Son that whosoever believe in Him should not perish but have everlasting life (John 3:16).
~1 of my latest testimonies was when I was witnessing to an ex-warlock (male witch) and in my witnessing about God’s kingdom being here on earth and the baptism of the Holy Spirit my body became warm from the inside out. The man I was witnessing to stopped me with wide eyes and asked, “do you see them?” “See what?” I asked. He responded with, “I see God’s angels around you. I see these big white wings all around you. Something really strong is protecting you!” I know he perceived those wings to be “angles” but I’m certain that he saw a manifestation of the Holy Spirit who told me shortly after my deliverance, “I will always protect you.”
If you’re a believer you are completely loved and totally accepted by God and all your sins have been washed away. As Jesus is so are you in this world (1 John 4: 17). And if you’re not a believer you are dearly loved and all your sins have been paid for…you are forgiven. You only need to accept Jesus as your Savior and Lord. It’s the almost too good to be true news of the Gospel.
Everything is paid for in full and everything that could have been a cause for fear in your life has already been defeated.
Now this is what the LORD says—He who created you, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine! -Isaiah 43:!
~For more personal and intimate encounters about my journey from law to grace, from religion to relationship and from seeing God as a taskmaster to beholding Him as a loving Father, check out my book Visions of Celestial Love!
“Visions of Celestial Love is a book of inspiring quotes and beautiful prose about God’s unconditional love for mankind. The insights of this book help us to understand that it was the Father’s great love for us that made a way for us to have life together with His Son, Jesus Christ. Through it we get a glimpse into the true meaning of Christ’s sacrifice of love expressed through His death, burial and resurrection as God’s magnificent gift of grace to us. His blood made it possible for all those who put their faith in Him to have fellowship with His Father again. I am confident that at the completion of this book, you will also seek after God with your whole heart and want to be in His presence forever.” —Alice Paige,
~For a video on the true Gospel of Peace, click here. I own no rights to this video and its contents. Andrew Wommack’s teachings on God’s love and the Gospel helped me receive the truth during my darkest hours. Later, I attended his Bible college where I met my husband. I can’t thank Andrew enough for his faithfulness to God and the body of Christ!
“When I read Visions of Celestial Love, it is as if I am brought down to my knees to worship. What the Holy Spirit has done in and through Ashley, He is doing also in me. What a wonderful experience. It is very rich. Thank you for sharing the treasure.”—Riko Suci Alam, CEO of Ligar Jaya and owner of Clove Garden hotel in Bandung Indonesia.
~This preview is taken from my upcoming Christian fiction book, At the Time for Love, a book based off Ezekiel 16:6-14. This novella is meant to introduce young women to the intimate love of Jesus while transparently discussing the topic of: romantic relationships, the often tumultuous and confusing emotions of teenage girls (as well as their blossoming longing for mature love), sex, and above all, the tender Bridegroom love of Jesus. When I was 16 years old, Jesus came after my heart and I wrote my first romantic story, I Do, about being his bride while listening to the song Hero by Enrique Iglesias. Because of his pure love, I walked through my young adult life whole and avoided much heartbreak and compromise. Later, I married the man of my dreams (my 1st boyfriend). My passion is to bring purity and sexual healing back to this generation. I pray Jesus uses this book to save young women in the same way He saved me. This book is meant for girls ages 12-18.
This scene opens up with the main characters tiredly making their way back home at dawn after a long day of harvesting. Enjoy!
“I think you’ve gained a few pounds,” Kendell said after a few minutes and fake grunted as he readjusted me.
“You just can’t say anything nice, can you?” I said and gently slapped him across the back of his head.
“Ouch,” he laughed teasingly.
“You’re carrying a sack of potatoes around your chest Kendell, not just Autumn,” David said in my defense.
“And you’ve been working all day,” James added.
“And Autumn gained weight,” Kendell mocked, “probably from working at Mills around all that good food.”
“You’re such a jerk!” I scolded.
“I’m carrying you, aren’t I?” Kendell stated, “last time I checked, jerks didn’t do that.”
“I’ll gladly walk,” I fumed and began to untie my legs. Kendell held me fast, “I was just kidding. No need to get all hurt.”
I tried again and he leaned forward, “Oh stop being such a big baby. It’s not like we don’t spar with our words all the time!”
“But you’ve never called me fat.” I fumed.
“I didn’t call you fat. I simply said you gained weight…and I was just joking.”
“You’re quiet the prince charming.” James commented toward Kendell.
“I know, won’t he make some woman happy one day?” David quipped sarcastically.
“Pssshhh. And you guys are ladies’ men, are you? Last time I checked no woman was drooling over either of you,” Kendell grinned before proudly adding, “now I’m a different story entirely.”
“Sure, you can get a woman easily but keeping her is totally different. She’d use up less than half a brain stem before leaving your over-cocky backside.”
Kendell frowned, “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked James.
“Your complements are cheap,” David said seeking to explain.
“Your flattery is empty,” James continued before grinning, “if you even have flattery.”
Kendell threw his head back in fake amusement, “isn’t flattery the only thing a man has?”
James and David passed each other a knowing look.
“No way dude.” James said almost admonishingly.
“It’s about heart,” David continued, “looks will only get you so far. Eventually any decent woman would leave a man without heart. And it’s the decent ones that you want.”
“And last time I checked prince charming wasn’t running after a million different women. He had his eyes set on one…and he pursued her with all his strength. We could learn a lesson or two from that alone.” James preached.
“Women want a great lover, not a great flatter-er.” David said.
Thomas and Ginger had slightly wandered off, and he was spinning her around in whimsical circles. She stretched her arms out like wings. Her gaily laughter floated in the air like translucent rainbow bubbles,”wwwhhhhheeeeeeeeee!”
I was beginning to feel awkward to be in the midst of such a conversation amongst the guys. Yet, in some way I liked being there. It gave me an inside scoop on all of them and I felt like a fly on the wall. I wanted to be invisible and I quelled my breaths unconsciously.
“Since you guys know so much about women how come both of you are single?” Kendell inquired.
I waited for their answer as well.
“Because I choose to be.” David answered.
“Loser.” Kendell coughed.
“What’s wrong with that?” James asked.
“Oh, come on! You can’t tell me you’ve never wanted a girlfriend? David, seriously, you’ve never had a girlfriend in your life and you’re in your twenties. Is that even possible?”
“Clearly.” David answered.
“Is it healthy?!” Kendell asked quite ardently.
“It’s much healthier than sleeping around with a whole bunch of women and having shallow relationships,” James spoke, “that stuff tends to damage peoples’ souls.”
“Amen,” David said echoing his approval before glancing at Kendell, “you have a false sense of romance. If dad would have let you have your way you probably would have dated half the women in this town.”
“And they would have each obliged me happily.”
James shook his head, “that’s not what it’s about bro.”
“I’m not saying I would have literally dated so many. But to be this age and having dated none? It’s ridiculous. David, doesn’t that bother you?”
“Not when you know what you want.”
“How could you know what you want and never have experienced?”
“When you’ve studied. And then you finally see the one.”
“How do you know she’s the one when you see her?” Kendell asked before jesting, “does a big flashing arrow point to her?”
“You get a check in your spirit.”
Kendell rolled his eyes, “Okay David, better question. Have you found the one?”
David’s answer surprised all of us, besides James it seemed, “maybe.”
My eyes shot open.
“What? You have a girlfriend?!” Kendell asked now excited.
“No,” David said quickly, “but…never mind.”
“No, you have to talk now!” Kendell said matching his stride to David’s.
David remained quiet and Kendell harassed him for information.
“Forget it. It’s none of your business.” David said hushing him.
“Weren’t you the one just preaching to me about relationships? Now you don’t want to share? Spill the beans buddy, I’m finally interested.”
When David didn’t speak, I voiced, “mama mentioned that you liked someone.”
David eyes widened and flashed, yet he remained cool, “did she?”
“Who is it Autumn?” Kendell probed nudging my leg.
“I don’t know,” I said honestly, “she wouldn’t tell me.”
The conversation remained on David for a while until Kendell got absolutely fed up of running into dead ends with our eldest brother who insisted on shielding information.
Done with David, Kendell interrogated James, “what about you?”
“What about me?” James asked feigning ignorance.
“Oh, don’t play stupid. How’s your non-existent love life?” he smirked.
James took no offense and smiled, “wonderful.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
“I’m not gonna lie to you. I’ve made a lot of mistakes as a non-believer. Being single in this season with Jesus has been one of the most peaceful times of my entire life.”
“What kind of mistakes?” Kendell asked completely ignoring the fact that James said he was at peace.
“Pre-marital sex,” James said with no difference of tone. His brute honesty caught Kendell off guard. My heart sank even though he had already told me about his former life before. The hurtful information came to me anew, before a purifying forgiveness that wasn’t my own, washed my emotions clean.
“You’ve had sex before?” Kendell asked completely taken aback.
“It’s not uncommon in the rest of the world outside Pomeberry,” James said, “this Amish community is an anomaly.”
“Well yeah, I know. But…I could never have imagined you doing stuff like that.”
“Jesus changes people,” James said with a grin.
“How was it?” Kendell asked startling me.
David glanced at me and felt my embarrassment. “Perhaps these things shouldn’t be discussed with our little 16-year-old sister around.” David said looking dead on at Kendell.
Kendell remained quiet for a while as he shifted his gaze between James and David. “She can… cover her ears?” Kendell said in a suggesting tone.
“Maybe he needs to hear it bro,” James said looking at David before he glanced at me, “…I won’t say anything inappropriate… if it’s okay with you?”
I nodded my head and tried to seem cool even as my emotions ran wild within. I turned my face away from him.
When David slightly nodded his approval, James answered, “It was shallow and completely unsatisfying. Sin will only give you pleasure for a moment. After the pleasure’s gone you’re left feeling just as empty as you were before…if not more.”
“Then why is sex so strong an influence?” Kendell questioned.
“I can tell you this, outside of marriage it’s nothing more than a drug to the body and a sword to the heart,” James paused and then his tone shifted to reverence, “but inside of marriage sex is a beautiful expression of covenant love. It’s wholly satisfying, connecting, and life giving. It’s even holy before God because He created it to be a bonding experience between a husband and his wife… and to procreate life. Tell me something…don’t you want to make love to the woman you know chose you over all the other men on earth and is committed to loving you for the rest of her life? Think about it. Making love to someone who will stay with you forever, who will be there when you wake up in the morning and who you’re deeply in love with? Her offering her body to you is the expression of her offering you the deepest parts of her. People who play around with sex have insecure love and their lust is often a reflection of grasping selfishness, but people who have sex within marriage have secure love. They have made a public commitment to give their all. There’s nothing better than guilt free pleasure with security.”
My cheeks were aflame now and I was so grateful for the dark that hid my blushed skin. My heart was drumming wildly and I pushed my chest from touching Kendell’s back so he wouldn’t feel it.
Kendell fell silent for a brief moment before saying, “yes. Who wouldn’t want that?”
“Exactly,” James said pleased at the expression on Kendell’s face, “this is God’s good desire for his children. Naked and unashamed.”
The conversation tarried on before we finally arrived at the house.
I was all too pleased to get down from Kendell’s back and escape inside.
David, and James noticed my quick flight.
“She doesn’t do well with romantic topics.” David told James.
“I noticed she doesn’t fare well with compliments either. She had a hard time accepting it when I called her a princess.” James said.
“Yeah…she’s maturing, but more slowly than your average…” David paused struggling with the word, “wo-man. Just two nights ago I asked her about her crush and she was mortified that I read her so easily. She wouldn’t tell me who the guy was.”
“Oh really?” I heard James say. His voice was animated and he arched an eyebrow.
David nodded, “I’ll eventually find out though.”
“I pray she’s brave enough to let you in soon. I know how much you care for her.”
Mama made beef stew and sticky rice for dinner. It was delicious and incredibly warming. I sucked and chewed on the tender seasoned meat. After dinner Ginger brought out the pie and everyone dug in.
“You make the best pies Autumn,” James said as he took a bite.
“Thank you,” I said trying to hide my shyness. I remembered that warm day between the blueberry branches where I told him that everyone knew my pies were “good.” He’d bought one at the next market to test one of them.
“Ginger helped too,” Paige said as she went for a tub of vanilla ice cream to add on top of the hot pie.
“It’s incredible,” Marian said toward Ginger. She then looked at me, “it really is.”
“I’m glad you like it,” Ginger beamed happily.
Paige set the tub down and dipped the scooper in, “who wants some?” she asked and then proceeded to give to those who raised their hands.
After the desert was finished Ginger and I presented the extra gift pie to James and Marian who accepted it with thanks. Shortly after, they waved us goodbye and bid us good night.
“Until the morning,” James waved with Marian at his side.
“God willing,” David waved and showed them out before closing the door behind them.
After hearing the sound of James’ truck drumming away, I headed upstairs.
“I’ll help you with the dishes ma,” I heard David say.
“That won’t be necessary. You’ve had a long day,” she said patting him on the arm.
He sighed, clearly too tired to argue, “good night ma,” he said and kissed her on the head before scaling the stairs.
Showers were timed as everyone needed to wash up. Mama offered Ginger and I dad’s restroom and I found it comical that I was bathing with Ginger when just the other night I had shooed her away. Her dark ebony curls were so soggy with shampoo that the foam of it dropped down her forehead and cheeks. She proceeded to play with the bath bubbles by blowing them in my face and I remembered with annoyance why I had kicked her out of our bathroom last night.
After showering, I stayed up for a long time in bed staring at the ceiling and thinking about the awkward conversation I was subject to. While I had been reluctant to even bring God into the subject of dating until a few days ago, thinking it sacrilegious, James had brought Him into his sexual understanding without the slightest unease. He talked about it like he would talk about scripture, yet his demeanor was one of complete rest and peace. He even called it “holy” in the same breath that he called it “pleasurable.”
Something shifted deep within me, and I felt myself gape open within. I felt a freedom to express myself to God about this in a way I hadn’t before. I poured myself in prayer that night, and asked The Lord to help me see things the way He did. I asked Him to help me grow up into womanhood. I knew I had avoided things that forced me into adulthood many times in the past:
I remembered the day Paige blow dried my hair and put me in her clothes for my interview, and how the word “beautiful” came out of David’s lips when he saw me. I couldn’t ever remember being called beautiful in that sense before.
I thought about the first day I saw James. Something inside my soul awakened for the first time and my secure little world continued to ebb away the longer he stayed. A desire was kindled despite the waters of resistance I put on it, and it only fanned into a bursting flame whenever I’d come in contact with him.
I thought back to the day that Paige said, “you will be a wife and a mother someday. You can’t afford to make these kinds of mistakes anymore!” It was the day I had left bread in the oven and she followed behind me and turned it off. At that moment, I was almost unbelieving at the suggestion in her tone. Sure, I knew someday I would be a wife and mom…but the way she spoke of it made it seem like it was sooner rather than later.
I remembered the fleeting moments I had when the Holy Spirit would nudge me with a whisper to talk to Him about my newfound affections. I remember the afternoon Danielle told me to take my feelings to Jesus, and the many times Paige opened up the subject to me in a safe way so that I would share.
I remember slighting David for asking me about my romantic emotions. What I thought was his imposing was actually his invitation for intimate conversation. I remembered Kendell telling me as I explored my wardrobe that I wasn’t the “dirty nailed, jumper wearing, messy haired, cool girl” that he grew up with anymore. He had called me “French girl” in reference to my changed preference of dress.
I also remembered the day I saw Matt pacify his wife Kate outside and then kiss her. When I saw that a wistful ache of longing was felt within me for the briefest of moments until Ginger distracted me.
A cataclysm of other memories filled my mind of moments where romance had called me and I had rejected it. These memories boiled together in a stew of blended pictures. All this time I had been fighting back the hands of time. I wasn’t a little girl anymore. Some part of me was, but that part was receding while the other part was growing.
In the quiet of the night I besought the Lord and in a moment of prayer I heard Ezekiel 16 in my spirit. At first, I didn’t want to bother opening my Bible since I was having such a good time in prayer… but a nudging filled me. Reaching for my Bible I opened it and fingered my way to Ezekiel 16. The words jumped out of the pages at me and burst in my heart:
And as for your birth, on the day you were born your navel cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to cleanse you, nor rubbed with salt or swaddled with bands at all. No eye pitied you to do any of these things for you, to have compassion on you; but you were cast out in the open field, for your person was abhorrent and loathsome on the day that you were born. And when I passed by you and saw you rolling about in your blood, I said to you in your blood, Live! Yes, I said to you still in your natal blood, Live! I caused you [Israel] to multiply as the bud which grows in the field, and you increased and became tall and you came to full maidenhood and beauty; your breasts were formed and your hair had grown, yet you were naked and bare.Now I passed by you again and looked upon you; behold, you were maturing and at the time for love, and I spread My skirt over you and covered your nakedness. Yes, I plighted My troth to you and entered into a covenant with you, says the Lord, and you became Mine. Then I washed you with water; yes, I thoroughly washed away your [clinging] blood from you and I anointed you with oil.I clothed you also with embroidered cloth and shod you with [fine seal] leather; and I girded you about with fine linen and covered you with silk. I decked you also with ornaments and I put bracelets on your wrists and a chain on your neck. And I put a ring on your nostril and earrings in your ears and a beautiful crown upon your head! Thus you were decked with gold and silver, and your raiment was of fine linen and silk and embroidered cloth; you ate fine flour and honey and oil. And you were exceedingly beautiful and you prospered into royal estate. And your renown went forth among the nations for your beauty, for it was perfect through My majesty and splendor which I had put upon you, says the Lord God.
I could hardly believe the intimate words of my Lord. The words; behold, you were maturing and at the time for love ministered to me in ways that caused my heart beat to become clear in my ears. The hairs on my neck pricked up and goose bumps spread across my arms in a dominos affect. I sucked in a breath of air sharply before slowly releasing. My desire arose within in me in such a powerful way that I was completely unaware of my surroundings for a brief moment. This “feeling” was more real than the clothes on my back. I desired, I wanted, I longed…and for the first time I saw with the eyes of my heart that this was from God. It wasn’t just accepted by Him, it didn’t just please Him, but it was from Him!
A tangible Presence seemed to enter the room and sit in front of me. My eyes went wide and I melted at the heavenly Presence.
“My beloved, my dove, my spotless one, my bride.” (Song of Solomon 5:2)
I closed my eyes overwhelmed by the intensity of the love I felt. Tears pricked at my eyes and I knew a new dawn had come. As the pure and beautiful Presence dissipated I knew things would never be the same. I was awakened.
~If you liked this sneak peek of, At The Time For Love, check out my book, Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul! There is deeper love awaiting you! A love the world can’t take away.
“Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul introduces fictional stories painted with tender intimacy to gently unravel the ageless waters of human desire for everlasting love. Based on the sacred theology of Jesus as the Church’s Bridegroom, Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul’s storybook manner sparks the imagination, exposes hidden wounds, and nourishes the soul. Through deeply warm conversations, unsuspecting characters encounter Jesus, who is sometimes disguised, and come to find Him as the healing Lover of their souls. These therapeutic conversations take place in a café, a ballroom floor in heaven, beside a lake, in Jerusalem and other colorful places that welcome rest. The book is framed by the extended story of Noble and Trisha’s romance—one that connects with many young women. Ultimately, this book was designed to usher the reader into the comforting arms of Jesus, where He can make them whole with pure love.” -Ashley Thompson McClelland
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. -Isaiah 41:10
Almost every morning I wake up to Elena’s pure and beautiful smile. Her smile is a layer of sunshine in my soul. She makes my heart feel like melted sugar. An infant’s love is so genuine. There is no guile behind her eyes…no secret agendas…no hidden motives. There is just pure bliss. There is just pure adoration. She is built to love her parents by our Creator. She is designed to be loved. I can’t imagine life without my girls. But did you know that the enemy and the world tried to steal them both before they were born?
Eden (God’s Paradise) was planted in my heart before she came to be in my womb and while I wanted children really badly…my husband was naturally worried about finances. After a few conversations, I decided to just pray about it and ask God to talk to him. Faithfully, God did and with an income loss of over $1000 a month and a bill increase of $950 Eden entered the world like a flower from heaven. Miraculously, all of our needs were supplied and we even had extra! Trust God.
Years later, I began to desire another child. A few weeks after that desire entered my heart, I found out that I was pregnant with Elena (Radiant Light). Shortly after this discovery, I began to experience irrational fears for a short time period about carrying her to full term (“it’s not a good time.” “You don’t have as much in savings.” “How will you continue to pursue your dream?”). It was like an onslaught of thoughts and emotions that were not from me began to bombard my soul and I heard the word “abortion” being whispered into my mind. It didn’t take me long to realize that it was demonic. So I rebuked the unclean spirit speaking to me and shortly afterward I was once again full of joy over Elena’s developing/blooming life.
Did you know after I accepted Stephen’s proposal for marriage, I woke up almost every morning for a month with “evil” panic attacks? With feelings of great trepidation? There was such an obvious fight for me to not marry Stephen that it’s almost laughable now because I know the devil’s game. Did you know, I was attacked with anxiety before I headed off to Bible college by faith? My marriage to Stephen, my memories from Bible college and our two girls have enriched and added more light and layers of glory and love and divine bliss to my life than I can ever begin to describe! Nothing that I trusted God for has hindered my dreams…rather my dreams wouldn’t have been fulfilled without these 3 priceless humans. (3 business later and now a pending publishing deal). Almost every beautiful and wonderful blessing from heaven in my life has been opposed by the enemy and the rational/logic of the world/men.
From thinking about my own life, I can’t help but wonder how many millions of babies have died because the logic of men stirred fear, anxiety and doubt in the hearts of their mothers and fathers? I wonder how many billions of adults miss out on the abundant lives they could be living because fear opposed them from moving forward into their destiny? One of my favorite quotes from the song Brave by Moriah Peters is, “fear kills more dreams than failure.” (How true). I’m not a special case. I believe every person (myself included) is confronted with the fear of the world’s logic (which is often cloaked as “wisdom”) and the demonic (which also disguises itself) when it comes to entering into a place of heaven’s plans. Whatever you do, let me encourage you to never give up on your dreams and never stop loving selflessly. Because the two (in God’s kingdom) go hand in hand.
There is a treasured destiny from heaven that belongs to you. And this life, you will find, will be better than your dreams. God’s reality is always sweeter and greater than we could ever imagine. “My yoke is easy, my burden is light…you will find rest for your soul.”-Jesus in Matthew 11:28-30
One of my dreams was to become a Life Coach so I could see others living the abundant life of their dreams. I truly believe every child of God is meant to have a life that radiates the beauty of wholeness, joy, fulfillment and love. If you would like a partner on discovering and entering your God-destiny, I would be honored to walk with you! Click here to fill out a form to begin your coaching sessions!
“I love you (Ashley) and I thank you because you’re the only one who stirs me up with my dream. God has ministered to me so many times! I think that those who truly pursue God’s dreams are few and far between. He gave me insight while I was singing with him that every single one of his children are supposed to be drenched in success and aiming high. God’s plans are no where near the standard that the average Christian has been walking in. It’s a beautiful thing and an awakening because he literally has an outstanding plan for everyone. If all of us would only tap into our skill sets and design, then we would all be hitting the nail on the head. Everyone’s glory was originally supposed to be huge! There is no mediocre lifestyle or money or love or blessing or talent or skill set or job in the body of Christ! We’re all the cream of the crop. Every single one of us but few of us believe and receive and tap into his mind. Few of us understand how huge God’s kingdom on earth is! I’m not waiting anymore. I’m running and I’m going to be diligent in what he asks me to do today! I’m going to believe it when he gives me insight about tomorrow! I will not waste my life away waiting.” -Chloe Lange, worshipper, wife, mother, Lioness Lips entrepreneur.
And now I am on holy ground. It’s voting season 🇺🇸 .
This space is sacred, how I vote has become worship.
You see,, I’m not for a particular party (I have papers before me representing the two main parties). I’m not loyal to the right or the left. I’m loyal to only One Person & as I vote, I pray,, open his Word and seek his guidance as I gather facts.
If you ask me to vote apart from Biblical morals in this or any election, I say, “I cannot.” To do so would be to deny myself, to detach myself from what is truest about me thus enacting a dual-personality.
Jesus is not just my Savior, He’s not just my Lord, He’s not just my Friend, He is not just my Big Brother…He is my Life. And just like God is faithful even when we are faithless because He cannot deny Himself…so I cannot break from the Spirit of Jesus at the voters booth (2 Timothy 2:13).I will not split away from Jesus and deny Him access to this part of my heart and humanity.
The idea that we as Christians ✝️ can vote in a way that opposes holiness (the Holy Spirit) is wrong. (Granted, all parties are FAR from true holiness and they all fall miserably short from righteousness. But which party is closer? That’s up to you and Jesus to decide.)
I like what Dr. Myles Monroe said, “the separation of church and state, is the separation of priest and king.”
We are not just priests (meant to keep our worship/convictions hidden away in the church, like the priests of Israel did in the desert. They left the law-giving to Moses,, who acted as a “king” while going to Aaron, their high priest for godly things). No, God had in mind from the beginning for us to be both priests and kings/queens (Exodus 19:6, 1 Peter 2:9, Isaiah 61:6, etc). And this is why king David (an old testament figure) was so famous. Because he showed the world the binding together of these two elements that would unite perfectly in the coming great King. David wrote the longest worship book in the Bible, and yet he also reigned in righteousness as a king over millions of people. Jesus sits on the throne of David -Luke 1:32.
Let me encourage you to not vote based on your gender, your race, your offenses, your own understanding…but to vote as if you were worshipping Jesus . I will not tell you who to vote for, only to set apart this act as holy.
I for one will vote as close to righteousness as I can. And I continually pray for leaders to rise up in this nation who are not loyal to money, to their own private interests, to special groups who buy them out, to lasciviousness, to their own lust for power and acclaim etc. But for leaders who are honorable, wise, and who will seek the counsel of God. Selah. 📖
“We need leaders not in love with money but in love with justice. Not in love with publicity but in love with humanity. Leaders who can subject their particular egos to the pressing urgencies of the great cause of freedom…..a time like this demands great leaders.” -Reverend/Dr. Martin Luther King Jr (a great recent example of both a king and a priest…he allowed his religious convictions to propel him to public service. And his actions/voice, changed our country for the better).
This morning I was reminded how much stability and security I have in God.
I placed my newborn between my legs and ran a finger across her tiny silky hand. As expected, she curled her fingers around mine with a “firm” grip. I smiled with pleasure as I studied her small, pale hands and the relaxed way she laid on the soft sheets.
After awhile of gazing on her in admiration, I slowly began to pull my finger away. She immediately tightened her hold on me and opened her deep blue eyes to look for me.
It was in that tender moment that God whispered to my heart. I didn’t hear Him speak these words…but the inaudible message was the same:
“Do you see how Elena doesn’t want to let you go? She’s holding on to your finger and searching for you with her eyes. This is how you are with Me. I have you in between my powerful legs. You are my precious child but you still don’t know just how secure you are with Me. You try to hold on to my finger to have some tangible proof that I’m with you…but you don’t realize that you’re surrounded by my presence already.”
Like my infant daughter has immature sight, to where she can only see so far (all infants are born with limited vision. It’s said that they can only see as far as their mother’s faces when they breastfeed), so I’ve been with God many times. There have been many seasons where I didn’t realize that He’s been there with me. But He always has. My natural eyes and humanistic understanding can never perceive or comprehend His eternal presence.
And while, I have a grip on his finger, He has a strong hold of me. You see my grip on his finger often represents all the exertion of my strength which is so weak compared to his. Truthfully, I’m incapable of holding on to Him (I’m just about as weak as Elena is). The good news is, He surrounds me with His strength.
This is how He is with all His children. Or at least how He yearns to be. As Jesus cried when He gazed at Jerusalem, “how I longed to gather your children under me like a hen gathers her chicks under her wings…but you would not.” (Matthew 23:37)
May you gather under his powerful arms and find yourself held and surrounded by his strength. He has the power to hold on to you even when your grip fails. And while you may be physically weak, like my newborn, your every cry pulls on the heartstrings of God like Elena pulls on mine. All of my power is used to nurture her and protect her…so God as Father, and the definition of love, will always use his power to surround you as you rest in Him.
“But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.” -Psalm 131:2 ESV
~if you were blessed by this short devotional, check out my book Visions of Celestial Love. It is filled with mini devotionals that are meant to draw your heart closer to your Heavenly Father.
~And if you haven’t already, subscribe to my blog to receive monthly inspirations! <3
“Ashley presents us with a true cornucopia of modern psalms, personal testimonies, and short stories. She has set out to reveal and unravel some of the most complex heart issues mankind faces in our quest of understanding what true intimacy with God really looks like. Prepare to have your soul massaged and worked on as you read Visions of Celestial Love.” — Jeremy Minard, Servant King Apparel, Active U.S Navy.
“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” -C.S Lewis
This morning I watched the sunrise. As golden orange rays began to melt away the cold blue of the night sky with delicious colors as rich as butter and cream, I saw the street light from across the road go out. It was once aglow, hanging from an iron, steely, grey pole. The second the sensitive and mostly inconspicuous sensors caught a glimpse of the more brilliant and superior light of day…they gave way to the approaching glory. Like candles become obsolete in the face of noonday, so do street lamps and every man “created” light.
This is how I feel mankind and all the earth will respond to the appearing of Jesus. Everything artificial, everything built from fleshly self-effort, everything made without the Spirit of God, will go out. And our eyes will marvel more than a babe from the womb looking upon the dawn for the first time, when we see his all-encompassing beauty, grace, power and life. Swept up in his love and truth, we will be able to do nothing but gasp in awe or silently weep, or lay strewn about on the soft grass as his glory rises to the center of the sky.
As He rises, He will give life to those whose bones were once brittle, He will give light to those who were blind, peace to those who were once traumatized, truth to those who were bound by lies (the ultimate enemy) and love to those who were enchained by fear.
“But, for my followers, goodness will shine on you like the rising sun. And it will bring healing power like the sun’s rays. You will be free and happy, like calves freed from their stalls. –Malachi 4:2 ERV
Jesus will show us the way to the Father. He will give more life, heat and clarity to the earth than the physical sun ever did:
As the rays from the sun highlight the beauty of the earth, like beholding beads of shimmering sunlight on the moving aquamarine and azure waves of the ocean, so He shall illuminate the world with beauty and divine life.
Without the natural sun, everything on earth would perish. The ecological system of this planet was built with a need for sunlight. Without it, all vegetation would die, all animals and cattle that eat vegetables would starve away and then eventually man would wane away as well, shrouded in darkness. As the earth needs the sun, so we were designed for Christ and God. Without Him our spiritual ecological systems are dead. Our emotional capacity for love is never truly satisfied and is like a grave yard. When He comes, He shall make the dead live.
My two-year-old has often said when she looks at the daytime sky, “ouchy mommy, sun. My eyes. Ouchy.” Unable to articulate the aureate-carmine glory of the sunlight, she expresses herself as best as she can to me (sometimes I wonder what we will sound like trying to express Christ when He appears. Like toddlers or infants lack the vocabulary to define mature things…so we will be at the fullness of Jesus).
I have often told my daughter in response, “if the sun hurts your eye sweetie, don’t look at it. It’s too bright for us to look at.” Like the sun is too bright for our physical eyes to see unaided so the glory of Christ is too incomprehensibly glorious for our carnal eyes.
I often think of the rapture when my thoughts travel to His second coming. Scripture says we will be caught up with Him in the sky and changed in the twinkling of an eye. In less than a split second our mortal bodies will be transfigured into immortal, glorified bodies. We will be like Him instantly simply from beholding Him. Like the sunlight blinds my daughter’s eyes but yet gives life to every function in her body, so shall the brilliance of Jesus cause those who belong to Him to die and resurrect in an instance. We will die to our blindness, to our limited understanding, to our false concepts and beliefs when we see Truth as He is. And once we see Truth, we will be flooded with the Life the Truth brings and be raised from the bondage of death in every form: physical, emotional, mental, relational, spiritual, etc. We will be endowed and infused with the ability to see our Father as He is and our Savior as He is!
God is light…in Him dwells no darkness. -1 John 1:5
God is love…in Him dwells no selfishness -1 John 4:7-21
God is holy…in Him dwells no evil/sin. -Isaiah 6:1-13
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” –Matthew 11:28-30 MSG
This simple visual of the street light flickering off as the sky became alight, calmed my soul. It was a beautiful reminder to me to rest in the light of Jesus, knowing that all my sufficiency is from Him.
I hope this word-picture has the same effect on you. May you know the joys of beholding his beauty. The peace that comes from his power. The assurance of his promise that comes more surely than the sun’s rising every morning. You have an amazing Savior, Lord, Friend and Lover who will never leave you nor forsake you. He will always give life to you and no matter how dark the night you are facing, his light will blaze through it.
Just as the glory of the sun outshines the street lights, so the grace of God in our lives overwhelms our weaknesses, our fleshly self-efforts and laborious striving. We don’t need to produce light on our own. We only need to let him shine his light upon us and through us. Rest and receive all that he is for you and in you today.
“A delightful book that reflects the praises from a heart that desires to abide closely with our Heavenly Father. Written in a style that summons us to experience a journey of deeper intimacy with a loving God. Ashley covers the foundation of the Christian faith that brings encouragement and assurance of God’s promises when faced with life’s challenges. Embracing our uniqueness and the safety of transparency before our Maker who cares about the most intricate details of our life. Yes, an invitation indeed from the One and only who can fill what are heart’s ache for.” — Jocelyn Reyna, Entrepreneur
~p.s: As some of you know, I am in the latter end of my 3rd trimester. My doctor informed me in so many words that Elena can come, “at any moment.” Her name means: light, brilliance, radiance. Because of her beautiful approaching presence, my world has shifted and slowed down in many ways. After her birth, I plan on taking a respite from my blog writing as I learn how to balance my days with two little treasures: Eden (paradise, heaven on earth, pleasure) and Elena (radiance). If you don’t receive any updates from me in several weeks or even months…this is why. I’m not sure how long it will take for me to learn how to peacefully manage my time, but until then…the grace and peace of the Lord be strong with you!
I know it’s hard for some to fathom, but it still exists today. Racism has no specific color that identifies the carrier of it. It comes in all shades. It’s a matter of the heart.
As unbelievable as it may seem, in 2010 I innocently walked outside my families apartment in California to wish someone farewell. There under a canopy of stars and trees, in the same neighborhood, I saw a man dressed up in a Ku Klux Klan robe. He had the pointed hood on and everything! His robe glistened in the barely lit darkness of night. He was only 3 houses down from me and was accompanied by another man who was leading him into another condo. My brain could hardly fathom the sight. Was I really seeing a KKK member in “liberal” California? Was such ignorant hate still being taught? When he saw me, he slowly stopped to stare at me. It was a cold and mentally shocking stand-off (to find out what happened from that encounter, read on).
When you’re confronted with racism how do you respond?
I was telling my sister a few days ago that our response to racism is comparable to fire. (When I say “our” I mean people in general).
We can either react to blind hate like a wildfire does—creating unspeakable damage, death and destruction in our life and the lives of the people around us. Or we can be like a campfire— creating light and warmth for those around us.
We can create a light that is inviting, helps people see through the darkness, gets positive attention, and creates a space for honest conversation. We can even be selfless enough to let others roast food over us to nourish themselves.
Incredibly, we can also be submitted enough to God to allow Him to create a control burn through us. I know that controlled burns are another type of “good” fire that governments, cities and farmers use to prevent future wildfires. These fires are used to serve the community and prevent death and destruction. They are powerful fires but not deadly ones.
As a little girl I watched from my backyard as a controlled burn was going on across the road from my house. Just across the street, standing dozens of feet above me was a fire that swept through acres and acres of land that was once a war zone. This fire that spewed smokey clouds and arrayed the sun in crimson red, was being used to set off hidden bombs that would have other wised prevented the growth of my community and killed innocent people. I was never once afraid of the power of this incredible fire because I knew it wasn’t wild…I knew it was controlled and being used for good. This fire to me represents a meek person—power under God’s control. It takes a lot of power to be self-controlled and submitted to heaven’s ways. (There are many good ways that fire serves us):
“Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.” – Reverend MLK ️
Racism does deserve a response. Just like any matter of injustice. It should be confronted, it should be dealt with and not ignored because it’s evil and like the devil: it kills, steals and destroys. Without a confrontation, it will do what enemy soldiers do to an invaded land. It is dark enough to evoke a reaction from the light ️.
The question I’m really posing here is: when you’re confronted with darkness (hate), does Jesus come out of you? When pricked with painful prejudice, do you respond like Jesus?
I know Jesus frequently dealt with people who had a spiritual superiority complex (his disciples and the Jewish people around him thought they were better than the Samaritans). They were also racially prejudice because they considered themselves to be pure breed while the Samaritan’s were mixed people (mutts in their estimation). No doubt Jesus was frowned upon by some Jews for his unbiased and loving approach to them.
Not only this, but Jesus was also guilty by association to some Samaritans. An entire village of Samaritans were so fed up with the snobbery and bigotry of the Jews that they rejected Jesus for heading toward Jerusalem for a feast day. They blindly clumped Jesus together with the other proud Jews they had come across– in other words they did the same thing to him that they were used to receiving (they misjudged him. It’s important to note that Samaritans were unwelcome to join in the Biblical feasts in Jerusalem. And if they did join, they were only allowed certain privileges. They were treated like second class citizens). In their detestment over His association with the Jews they missed an encounter with the healing love and power of God through Jesus. Instead of weeping for them, two of the disciples were automatically enraged and wanted to consume them by “using” God to call down fire upon the entire village (women and children included). This shows how gracious and inclusive these two disciples were. It also shows the condition of their hearts toward the Gentiles. Jesus rebuked his two disciples and revealed his heart in doing so, “you know not what manner of spirit you are of. For the Son of Man did not come to destroy men’s lives but to save them.” (Luke 9:55-56)
Jesus faced political unrest (the rule of Rome through taxation and subjugation). As a result, He dealt with the bitterness of the Jews who naturally didn’t care for him to heal any Gentile. Jesus also faced extreme religious bias and persecution by the church leaders of his day who wanted to use him to: either push their corrupt power agendas over the people through the use of completely unbiblical weights (rules and false commandments)…or else smite him. They actually sought to put their laws higher than God’s!
You see, Jesus understands the complex affects of racism and political oppression in a culture. He was often caught right in the middle of peoples stewing emotions, biases and struggles for power. I picture Jesus with his arms outstretched trying to include everyone and give them heaven’s perspective and insight. Instead of listening to him, most people just pulled on his arms, trying to get him to take their side. Like a tug of war rope, they grabbed opposite arms and opposed each other all the while seeking to pressure Jesus to bend to their agendas. They wanted him all to themselves.
Jesus knows the heart inside of every man (John 2:24). When he walked the earth…he healed both Jew and Gentile. If someone was willing to come to him, he taught them and instructed them in the way of love and Heaven’s Kingdom culture (which doesn’t allow for racism)
He understands the pain of oppression (he was born into a world ruled by spiritual darkness and the tyranny of Rome). Shortly after his birth, a massive infanticide was issued by Herod. This issue slaughtered the babies and children of thousands of Jewish people. Due to that, years of abuse, extortion and sometimes forced servanthood, the Jewish people were fed up! They cried out for a king to come to usurp Rome. They wept for justice! And instead of coming like a roaring lion, their promised Messianic King came like a suffering Lamb. “Behold the Lamb, who takes away the sins of the world!” Declared John the Baptist upon seeing Jesus in John 1:29. John had been trying to prepare/soften the people’s hearts through repentance (changing their minds) in order to receive Jesus.
Can you imagine their disappointment when they realized Jesus wasn’t going to wage a physical war with Rome and spill the blood of their enemies? Instead he would spill his own blood to reconcile all of mankind (even their foes) to God! If only their hearts were in the right place…they would have known through scripture that his first coming would be like a lamb (Zechariah 9:9).
Because Jesus didn’t fit their measure of a “great” king, they rejected him. After receiving his love in physical healings, after consuming his miracles (the feeding of the five thousand) and filling their bellies, their selfish hearts were roused to overrule Rome by using him. Like a wildfire only consumes, they were consumed with their own agendas. So much so that they went to “take him and force him to be their king” (John 6:15). Sadly, they were so fierce in their own self-centeredness that when Jesus began to try and feed them the spiritual food from his deep heart (the way of the kingdom and its rulership through meekness and submission to God), they quickly rejected him and some even wanted to harm him (John 6:26-71). Even his disciples wanted him to enter a physical power struggle with Rome, “Lord, at this time are you going to restore the kingdom to Israel?” Acts 1:6
Prolonged oppression and the sometimes subsequent bitterness that follows in the hearts of the enslaved can make the victims just like their oppressors, IF the heart allows hatred in: “Each day we are becoming a creature of splendid glory or one of unthinkable horror.” -C.S Lewis.
Jesus understands the things that happen to us are like the heat from the sun on our hearts. They can soften us or harden us: “The same sun that melts butter, hardens clay.” -unknown. Sadly some of the people around Jesus had such hard hearts that even seeing a man raised from the dead wasn’t enough to soften their hearts to him. They completely disowned John the Baptist and Jesus.
How is your heart responding to everything? Is it softening to the voice of God who promises to produce peace, selfless love and wisdom inside of you, which will bring about physical actions that foster transformational change?
You see, as a Christian, black person and woman, I’ve been discriminated against more than 99.9% of the people in my life know about (even the closest people to me). I’ve been called names, I’ve been physically mishandled (mostly in school, thank God), I’ve been left out and had anger spurred on me. In each event that I’m thinking of…I never provoked the mistreatment against me. I can, from a VERY limited place, understand why the Jews wanted physical and political deliverance (I can really only attempt to understand their deep oppression).
Like the disciples I’ve asked, “Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?” Little did the disciples know at the time that the way of the kingdom, which they would soon follow, would forever impact Rome. In fact, these men (after humbling themselves enough to be controlled burns) turned the whole world right side up! Heaven invaded earth wherever they went and Rome began to fall on its knees with each converted person. Asia, Syria, Greece, Ethiopia, etc and all the known world began to taste Heaven in such a way that it not only regenerated the spirits of men, but because of the moral change in hearts, it enacted real social change.
Growing up I was teased from kindergarten through the 10th grade (for numerous reasons that had to do with my appearance and quiet demeanor). I’ve wanted to react like a wildfire. But instead, I chose to listen to my Father’s voice and let him make a control burn through my life (not perfectly of course. There were times where I blew it). And in the 9th grade, I was awarded, “most likely to win a noble peace prize.”
I’m slowly learning to not see things strictly from a physical point of view but from a spiritual point of view. This, more than anything else, has helped me to “love my enemies and pray for those who persecute me.” Because I see them as lost, dying men or fellow Christians who are separated from Christ’s heart, it is easier for me to have compassion on them.
From a spiritual point, I also find my unshakable identity: I am complete in Christ, I am redeemed (bought with the highest price heaven could afford), I am a saint, I am the righteousness of God in Christ, I am made in the image of God, I am qualified for all the promises of God in Christ and redeemed from all the curses. I have power, love and a sound mind, I have the Spirit of God living inside of me therefore I fear no evil…man or devil. I am perfectly loved, treasured and valued by my heavenly Father, etc. I have heaven’s power to forgive. Because I know who I am, I can take positions of extreme meekness like Jesus did when he washed the (undoubtedly) filthy feet of his friends (John 13:3-5). I can be a campfire or a control burn. And YES, I can affect just political and social change (because that is VERY important too).
How I go about effecting political and physical change is different than some but trust me I believe in righteousness. I hate wickedness in every form: racism, robbery, murder, sexual exploitation, child porn/abuse, unjust scales, human slavery (which is still going on and very prevalent), etc. In my INFJ personality, the “J” stands for judgement. I love justice because true justice does not discriminate by unfairly favoring one person over another because of whatever reason. True justice seeks truth and enacts punishment on the wicked (who would otherwise harm people) while protecting the innocent. Jesus judges not by the sight of His eyes. He judges fairly. And all throughout the Old Testament, I see God judging for the sake of truth and the greater good of man.
We need people to rise up to take a stand against the crimes of humanity and systematic injustice in our society. What we do NOT need is looting, the destruction of private property and the killing of innocent civilians and cops! We don’t need people with violence in their hearts (hateful rioters) “representing” the cause of racial equality (because these people are wildfires and not campfires or controlled burns. And some of them don’t even care about racial issues. They are just hiding in the crowds egging on their own evil selfish agendas while committing despicable, heartbreaking crimes)!
If you’re wondering about the man in the KKK robe, thank you for your patience in waiting so long. We stood there staring at each other briefly. After getting over the shock of actually seeing a KKK member, I used wisdom and slowly turned around before heading back upstairs into my families apartment. The next morning I went outside to go to school and saw that the hood of my white dodge neon was graffitied in black with “K’s.” Instead of getting bitter, I told my dad and he took the car someplace to get rid of the “K’s.” I chose to brush off the encounter like a duck’s feathers repel water.
This is just one named instance where I have been discriminated against (there are others). Members of family have received unjust treatment too: I haven’t told you of the time where my sister (when she was a child) heard at a mutual friend’s house, “we don’t play with black people.” I didn’t mention the time where my sister had her change (coins) thrown back at her in a gas station because she’s black. I never mentioned the numerous instances where my father was clearly profiled by officers (I don’t have anything against good cops, I’m very grateful for them), or the time where my mother was cheated out of being the Head of Science Department in her workplace by women (who happened to be white) who conspired against her. I didn’t say how my heart felt sick when I watched my mom cry tears from childhood trauma shortly after my daughter Eden was born as she remembered an instant growing up that terrified her. One of her favorite country songs brought that sad memory to mind. She was one of 8 black kids who went to an otherwise all white school in the south. She grew up to like country music from riding the bus with her white classmates. I could only imagine her daily fear and apprehension in going to school.
Racism is evil. And I’ve met racist in black skin, brown skin, white skin, and yellow skin. We are not to judge others by the sight of our eyes but by the heart (the inner man).
So outer garments don’t matter that much to me when beholding a man. I don’t find fault with people simply because they are robed differently: police uniform, fancy suit, apron, etc. “It’s not a matter of skin but sin. It’s not about race but grace.” -unknown.
God clearly arrayed man in different shades because He likes diversity.
Let’s love each other.
~I just have to say, I love you no matter what shade God has adorned you in. I love you no matter what your past (it’s all about where you are now/ repentance). I love you because God has loved me and He clearly loves you. You are my brother. You are my sister. And even if you are currently an “enemy,” I will pray for you because we were all once enemies of God. And God displayed his love for us in giving us his Son.
Ashley xoxo
A Prayer for America
“America, my heart truly hurts seeing whats happening to you (both gross abuse from systematic judicial prejudice and misplaced rage from wounded people who have been oppressed for a long time). 🇺🇸
I pray great love over the hearts of the thousands of men and women who are angry and grieved (just like I am) over George Floyd’s murder. I pray for us to rightfully mourn over this tragedy and express our righteous anger (not just for his case but all the other painful and horrific cases that aren’t caught on camera) in a way that really effects change without hurting the innocent:
May God’s Holy Spirit open peoples eyes to seek his ways of governing above all else. May people have hearts for healing, understanding and wise minds to think of new reforms that will better insure the protection of innocent civilians and cops.
May the truly guilty and evil be found out and rightfully punished (let the innocent not be blamed). Let people with pure motives for good rise up and let those who are just using this tragedy to egg on their own selfish agendas be silenced. May our country move forward with new productivity, ingenuity, reconciliation and unity.
Let godly peace and justice reign across the land. Let wisdom rule in our courts and justice system, in Jesus name
Let real justice rule, let the cry of the oppressed be heard, let true freedom reign.”
~For information on my life coaching services, click here.
Be immensely blessed!
Scroll down to find a link to the worship song, A Better Way (about hearing the Father’s voice through Jesus). This song by Jason Upton has greatly blessed me in this season.
P.S: If you’re looking for where I stand on all the boiling issues currently facing America, I must say that I don’t have a particular group that I stand with. I am prayerfully asking Father for his opinion and wisdom regarding things. I do and will always stand with good cops. I do and will always stand with godly people who want to affect social change. I don’t belong to any specific group. Like Jesus, I’m willfully trying to not allow people with conflicting opinions and invested interests to pull on my arms and lead me away from my Father’s voice. Instead, I am humbling myself and prayerfully asking to be a controlled burn, a light in the darkness, a river in the desert and an unbiased judge. I pray we will all do the same . May God’s kingdom come to earth as it is in heaven!
Click here to listen to A Better Way (I own no rights whatsoever for this song).
