The Beauty of Submission

For this is how the holy women of the past adorned themselves. They put their hope in God and were submissive to their husbands, just as Sarah obeyed Abraham and called him lord. And you are her children if you do what is right and refuse to give way to fear. -1 Peter 3:5-6

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My Testimony:

For years self-preservation has caused a soulish rift of fear between my spouse and me. It has taken place nowhere but in my own mind. The ungodly influences of the world’s view on marriage have also been a separation factor. Right now, God is both lovingly and firmly correcting me concerning my relationship with Stephen. It has been hard for me to not “conform to the patterns of this world but to be transformed by the renewing of my mind.” Sadly, I have rebelled against the Word of God in many ways by not honoring my husband in the way God designed me to as a royal daughter of the King.

While the world says a wife should not have to honor her husband, God says a godly wife is to honor her spouse. Colloquial statements from wives like, “I have two kids including my husband,” and “happy wife equals happy life,” or “if mama isn’t happy then nobody is happy” are evidence of an ungodly cultural mindset. I have often laughed at these statements, but I don’t believe Jesus laughed with me. They are not trifle slogans. They are often the visible sprouting of a much deeper issue. There is no place in God’s kingdom for rebellion.

The Kingdom of Heaven is always near to us, but it requires repentance (a changing of mind). For me, God has asked me to learn what it means to be a “help meet” to my husband and to use my free will to have a submissive heart. God will not force this upon me. I have a God-honoring husband who would never force it upon me as well. The kingdom of Heaven has an order, and this order doesn’t change with culture. It is timeless. There are set laws and principles that scripture lays out in marriage. For wives, this includes submitting ourselves to our husbands. This also includes honoring our husbands. God means for our lives to be governed by his Word.

 For many years, I have unknowingly disrespected my husband. I have also competed with him instead of learning what it means to be his helper in the same way the Holy Spirit was the “Helper” of Jesus. Jesus patiently showed me how “fear” played a huge role in my stiff-necked refusal to wholeheartedly support my husband in having leadership authority in our marriage.

1 Peter 3:5 says that the godly women of old put their hope in God. This helped me as I realized that these precious women were empowered by their hope in God. I realized I could only ever submit myself to my husband if I put my hope in the surety of God’s character and his power to cover my family even if my husband made a mistake. Verse six says that we will be their daughters if we “refuse to give in to fear.” I realized that I was afraid of Stephen blowing it. I was also afraid if I submitted to him, he would take advantage of me. I was afraid he wouldn’t care for me the way I wanted to be cared for. I was afraid of financial depletion. I was afraid of being bossed around. I was afraid of so many things. Jesus helped me see that underneath my fear was my true heart. My truest heart wanted to fully believe God and obey his Word.

Thankfully, my truest heart is finally beginning to win.

I have truly begun to walk in purposeful repentance that results in godly fruit. I have a wonderful husband. He’s not perfect, but he is God-honoring, and he loves me more than anyone, other than Jesus. If you’re a wife in a similar or different circumstance, I can’t tell you how God will lead you in your marriage relationship. Only be sure that he will never lead you to disobey his Word. Also, be comforted with this; he will guide you in a way that is loving and personal to you.

If you’re a wife in an abusive relationship, I am so very sorry! Please know God’s Word does not condone violence. God’s Word says that the Lord hates the one who “covers his wife with violence.” -Malachi 2:16 AMPC. 1 Peter 3:7 says that if a man doesn’t act considerately toward his wife (like a delicate vessel) or honor her as a fellow heir, his prayers may be “hindered.”

God cares deeply for his daughters. God cares deeply for his sons. The ideal marriage is when both spouses love Jesus more than anything or anyone because Jesus will always, always, always lead them to love each other much more than they could without him.

Lastly, always remember that you are the beloved bride of the Prince of Peace, and he wants to woo your heart and give you an abundant life. You can trust his rules. You can trust his leadership. You can trust his heart.

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-For a beautiful song on Christ as our Bridegroom, click the video (enjoy!):

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-For my book on the divine bridegroom love of Jesus, click here.