She grew up in church and has never been in a relationship, he’s a prestigious male model with a scarlet past on a search for redemption…
~This is a snippet of part 4 to my short story series on Trisha and Noble (A godly romance for teens and young adults). To read part one, Salvation at Snow Café, click here or to purchase part one and two, in my book, Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul, click here.
Every day for two weeks my cell phone rang almost constantly, and my emails filled with messages from people who sought to pull me back to my past. I knew I needed to cut my contract with Anthony if I truly wanted to be free from these incessant invitations, but I was hesitant.
Old temptations and new temptations presented themselves daily. Even in church, I found myself being watched by young women who were modest enough to never solicitate me but found it difficult to ignore my presence in the room. Susan, a young woman I met during my time in the gym, was particularly bold in her flirtations with me. She was a shapely blonde with icy blue eyes like my own and lips the color of pink roses. I did my best to ignore her and predict the times she wouldn’t be in the gym so I could avoid her.
At least four times a week, I paid a visit to my parents. Daily I spoke with pastor Thomas. We just finished reading the book of 1st Corinthians together. I found chapter 7 particulalry interesting and pastor Thomas lingered longer on this chapter with me. He read with conviction as we sat over strong coffee and a delicious breakfast his wife Meg had prepared.
“…because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband…the husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs…”
I took a bite of seasoned poached eggs and crispy bacon. I was surprised to find such detailed instructions about sex in the Bible. I observed pastor Thomas as he read and was happily surprised when I saw he had not a hint of an embarrassed blush or hesitancy. He read comfortably.
“…do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control…”
My interest peaked and I interrupted his reading, “Can I ask you an honest question?”
He lifted his eyes from the Bible and replied, “of course. Ask me anything you’d like.”
I half-smiled, “is it common for Christians to abstain from sex with their spouses because of prayer?”
He shrugged, “some people do.”
My smile slowly dwindled as I voiced my next question, “As the prayer pastor, do you fast from sex very often and how does your wife feel about that?”
Pastor Thomas didn’t blink or flinch in reaction, “she and I always agree before we fast. Sometimes the church holds a congregrational fast where everyone fasts. It doesn’t have to be from sex. Sometimes people fast certain foods or drinks. Sometimes people fast from social media or doing certain activities. My wife and I chose when to fast from sex and instead of using the time we would normally have dates with or sex with…we pray together. So instead of becoming physically one we become one spiritually as we agree in prayer together…”
Meg, who was standing in the kitchen came with a fresh pot of coffee and creamer to refill our mugs. She was plain but pretty. Her pale straw blonde hair was tied back in a loose ponytail, and she had sea green eyes. Her face had a few fine lines from her seasoned years and when she smiled, crows’ feet wrinkles edged her eyes drawing further attention to the aquamarine gleaming color around her irises. “It might be hard to believe,” she began as she refilled our coffee, “but spending time together in prayer with my husband is emotionally and spiritually fulfilling for us. We recenter ourselves, we often have great conversations that help us come into agreement mentally and I like it just as much as having sex…if not more.”
Pastor Thomas winked, “I like it almost as much but not quite.”
I chortled at his confession before thanking Meg for sharing.
Pastor Thomas continued with the chapter. The portion about Paul’s instructions to the singles in the city of Corinth also caught my attention. I was a little perturbed when Paul advised the singles to stay single so that they could be fully devoted to God and not worry about the crisis facing the church during his day. Pastor Thomas explained some things about the terrible persecution Christians faced during those days and it made sense to me afterward why Paul would give such advice.
“…if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust…if a man thinks that he’s treating his fiancée improperly and will inevitably give in to his passion, let him marry her as he wishes. It is not a sin…”
I chewed my food and thought about the last things pastor Thomas read.
“Do you have any questions?” he asked, seeing I was deep in thought.
I took a swig of water to wash down my food, “it seems like Paul encouraged married life for those who can’t control their bodily desires.”
Pastor Thomas nodded, “your assessment is generally correct. But I want to add an important note that there’s a great difference between lust and love. The Bible tells you to flee from youthful lusts but not to flee from love. If you really love someone, you will want to protect them, you wouldn’t want to do anything selfish to dishonor them or tempt them to break God’s law.”
I glanced out the window, thinking of how God had enabled me by his grace and Spirit to keep myself from falling sexually. However, I wasn’t sure how long it would last. I was a little worried about being able to keep this new rule.
“How did you keep yourself from sex before marriage?” I asked.
“It wasn’t always easy,” pastor Thomas began. He ate a bite of food before continuing, “thankfully I had a great church community, my parents were strong Christians, and we openly discussed these things. I gave myself boundaries to keep myself from situations where I knew I would be tempted.”
“Care to give an example?”
“Sure. For example, I never rode in a car with the opposite sex. On missions’ trips, I always stayed in separate housing for men only. I had a great group of guy friends, and we kept each other accountable. I did many things to prevent myself from falling this way. Elders in the church surrounded me…”
I interjected, “Most people don’t follow such puritanic rules like that pastor. And even if they did, even fewer have the support system that you did.” I gave a wry half-smile. I was doubtful his method of abstinence was realistic.
Pastor Thomas spoke up, “most people aren’t following Jesus like a real disciple. They have yet to decide to take up their cross, deny themselves and follow him as Lord. Most people accept him as Savior and leave the lordship aspect behind because it’s so contrarian and opposite of our democratic system and culture. They don’t understand what it’s like to serve a king so willingly and completely,” he took a generous drink of coffee and set down his large mug. I felt a sense of conviction rise from within me at his words.
His face took on a more somber tone, “unfortunately, your last statement is true. I wish more Christians had the support system the Bible talks about. Jesus taught and did life with his disciples. They had close and frequent fellowship.”
“So that’s why you’re so involved with all the young adults at church?”
Pastor Thomas nodded again, “yes. At least the ones who profess they want to seriously follow Jesus.”
We ate some bites of food before he spoke again, “to finish answering your original question of how I avoided sex before marriage. The most important thing I did was develop my own personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I fell in love with God and grew in prayer, grace and wisdom.”
His statements struck me, “how do you fall in love with God?”
He smiled, “you spend time with him. You communicate with him and learn how to hear his communication.”
“That sounds like something Trisha told me.”
We finished our breakfast and discussed another time to meet up for Bible reading. It had been a fourteen-day journey. And every Bible study, Thomas would ask me if I was ready to choose Jesus above my attraction to my past and the trappings of it. Every time I responded without complete surety. I wanted Jesus. I wanted to grow in Him. I also hated some of his rules and the restrictions I had recently discovered in the Bible.
Yet, I was attracted to him. I was attracted to him as eyes naturally gravitate toward light. I had grown close to Thomas, and I admired him more than I admired any male figure I had ever known. In all our meetings, Thomas treated me with a distinction I couldn’t put my finger on. He wasn’t quite a father figure, but neither was our relationship like peers or friends. He wasn’t totally like a mentor, but I always learned something when we were together. He was straight shooter with me but somehow always kind.
I wanted what Thomas had: integrity, holiness, joy, peace, clear conviction, a clean conscious, a noble soul, and a deep connection with God as I had never known. But I also wanted to appease my flesh. I wanted to control my money. I wanted to travel where I wanted when I wanted. I still wanted to be free to live my life on my own terms. And I also wanted Trisha and was mad that God had placed such a hard line in her life regarding relationships. For several nights, I dreamed of her warm cinnamon eyes and a dull ache always accompanied. I felt hungry for more in our relationship.
-To explore the beginning of Trisha and Noble’s romance, check out my book, Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul. You can also find snippets of their story in my blog page by looking up their names in the search bar.
“This was the most captivating, read I had in a while. It warmed my heart, made me feel loved, and gave me a desire to want a more intimate relationship.”- Starlyn, Amazon Reviewer