As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? -Psalm 42:1-2 NIV
Have you ever felt dry on the inside?
The scent of strawberry marshmallow and the sight of golden accent lights greet my senses like a pleasant smile. Outside, the sky is a cool gray-blue, and the crisp, cool evening ushers in the approach of Autumn.
As the world around me quiets down, I turn my attention to my heavenly Father. In this turning of attention, in this still place, the ache inside of me is finally heard.
For months, I’ve been at a loss for words. My inspiration has felt dry. What once thrived like a watered garden now feels like a desert.
No poetry, bubbles from my soul like a warm spring. Inside, I sense the same familiar conflict that has troubled me for far too long. And yet, I long to feel the presence of Jesus and the Father’s Spirit inside.
Lord, where are you?
I yearn to meet you here again.
I hunger to dine with you in deep, intimate fellowship, where my heart is fed from your table of love.
I crave the peace that comes when my mind is filled with your thoughts.
I desire to meet with You, Jesus, in a way where the Word becomes flesh once again in the deepest place of my soul.
I know only You can satisfy. Nothing on this earth can quench the place of eternity in my heart, except You.
My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” -Psalm 42:3 NIV
Lord, I want to minister to others, to the person reading this right now, to the students that I teach, to my own children, and my husband… but I feel depleted and void of your resting presence.
I know I’m not alone in this.
I’m not the only person who has struggled to draw near to you and yet feel like there’s an insurmountable distance separating you from them.
Even someone as close to you as King David often poured out his heart in psalms, asking for your presence.
But Father, through it all, I know your Word is true.
I know you hear my every cry. I know you see my heart’s desire for you. I know you love me beyond my current understanding.
I know you will never leave me nor forsake me.
You are a Father who loves at all times.
And so, my prayer is not just for myself, but every child of yours who longs for a heart-fellowship with you.
Dear Father,
I come before your throne room of grace in Jesus’ name, and I thank you for the love you have proven through your Son. I thank you that you never wanted to be separated from us, so you gave us your Son.
I thank you that your Word says that if you did not spare us your Son, then how will you not with him freely give us all things.
Please help us to receive your soothing grace, your healing peace, and the beauty of your loving presence. May we fellowship with you deep inside our hearts. May you open our eyes to the ways that you continually watch over us. May you help us to wait upon you and know that you are God.
We trust ourselves to you. We acknowledge that you are our life, our hope, our strength, our joy, our truest love, and our only God. We trust you to help us to walk by faith and not by sight (or by our feelings).
Thank you for every promise in your Word. Thank you for all the miracles in our lives. Thank you for every blessing you’ve ever given us. Thank you that you are omnipresent, whether we discern your presence or not.
We praise you and we thank you for your faithfulness to us, for putting us in your Son, Jesus, and for sealing us with your Holy Spirit. We love you, Father.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
“Ashley presents us with a true cornucopia of modern psalms, personal testimonies, and short stories. She has set out to reveal and unravel some of the most complex heart issues mankind faces in our quest of understanding what true intimacy with God really looks like. Prepare to have your soul massaged and worked on as you read Visions of Celestial Love.” — Jeremy Minard
*To read for free with KU, click here.
