~A vision that I was given when I was a teenager and first filled with the Holy Spirit.
He offered me something to eat as I was reading,
studying and writing down the Word of God. The countryside smelled of sugar and
dust. Months ago, I had been taken to this cottage of a mountain of honey hay
as delicate as a moth’s hair. I would stay here until the next Jubilee with
this angel of light. He asked me to call him Offer or Promise.
I
imagined rain from translucent azure waters falling through the roof and
creating pools and rivers of glowing water in the house. The hay outside, moved
like ripples in the wind and made waves of gold with every sweet, wistful
breeze. This mountain was the only amber one. All the others were lush jade
green. Often during sunsets, the ones in the distance paled into a lavender
purple made rosy with the hue and heat of the setting sun. These mountains
seemed as soft as mist.
I looked up from my work at Promise. His sculpted hand held out a pearly saucer with a tea-size emerald bowl on top. The bowl was filled with a white, pasty looking substance. Promise or Offer was beautiful and tall with long hair that shone like silver in the sun. His hair appeared as gentle as silk. His eyes were as majestic as thousands of mountains that touched the sky. Yet, his eyes were kinder than a mother’s love and deep with mystery. He often wore layers of clothes, all made for the flow of the wind. Today he wore a deep pine green robe with the floral words of heaven etched on the sleeves and hem.
I
took the food with a smile as “thanks” and set it on the polished wooden table.
He observed my writings and circled around the table before sitting down. I
felt celestial water below my feet. It lapped over my toes and was as soothing
as spa water, but when I looked down, all I saw was the white carpet. I didn’t
ask Offer what was going on. Things like that always happened here. Taking up a
spoon, I dipped it in the pasty white substance.
“It
is food and drink.” Offer said.
I opened my mouth and
ate. It was light, like fat-free yogurt and it liquefied in my mouth as if it
were whipped cream. It reminded me of a flaky pie crust sugared with cinnamon
and ginger. It was dissolvable because of the thinness. It slid down my throat
like a light mist and it seemed to dissolve into nothingness in my stomach.
Because of this, I took a big spoonful and stuffed it in my mouth before taking
another one.
“Easy.”
Offer said.
I
looked at him.
“Go
slow, it is filling you,” he continued.
I
knew his words were true, but it surely didn’t feel like it.
“You
sons and daughters of men take in too much too quickly before you are ready. It
fills you, I promise.”
He
folded his hands together and then quietly stood. Again, he circled me. This
time slower than the last. I saw his eyes peer at my work again which rested
beside the Bible.
“Think
of it as reading the Word of God. You must go slowly. You must digest what you
read and wait for full comprehension from Adoni before you continue. Most
people read much too much too quickly and then claim they know the Word of God.
They form their own opinions about it, or they listen to the incorrect, hasty
interpretations of others because they have not studied. They have not relied
on the Ruach Hakodesh to open their eyes of understanding. In this too they
become worshippers of themselves as they rely more on their mind than the mind
of the Spirit. Or they choose to become wedding guests instead of the Bride at
the Marriage Supper of the Lamb. Intimacy takes time…a life time.”
His
words were as pure as ice forming from a water cave in the arctic. “What are
you saying Promise?” I asked.
“Read
it to draw closer to Him.”
“I…thought
I was.”
“You
wrote three chapters.”
“I’ve
been here for hours. Are you saying three chapters is too much?”
He
nodded.
“How
much longer will I be here? All this must get done before that.”
“What
is that to you? That “longer” you speak of? He is in the past, the present and
the future. How then can this thing you know as time exist? Only He exist and He fills all.”
Promise
saw that I failed to comprehend. He sighed slightly and smiled fondly at me.
Somehow his visage assured me that all would be well.
“Our
Lord will give you enough time. In
the same way as He supplied enough manna for the Israelites, His chosen ones,
to eat in the wilderness everyday…He will supply you enough time. No more and no less dear one. Just
keep drawing near to Him with all your heart. Remember to soar, enjoy and
cherish every moment. Allow yourself to be put in all the way, in every
experience.”
I
believe I understood and nodded.
“Yahweh is not looking for quantity. He is looking for quality. A small diamond is worth more than a hundred tons of fool’s gold.”
…to be continued.
~If you’ve enjoyed this allegory, you may like my book Visions of Celestial Love. It is full of lessons that God has taught me since I first surrendered to Him. These lessons often look like “word pictures” for me. And remember, above all He wants intimacy with you. He wants your heart. He longs to sup with you in the secret place. <3
Top image by Quang Nguyen vinh from Pixabay. I chose this photo because the sun is shinning behind these men and their feet are standing on a mountain of salt. It reminded me of what Jesus said when He called us, “the salt and light of the world.” -Matthew 5:13-16.
~The following is a sneak peak of my upcoming book: At the Time for Love, based on Ezekiel 16 <3
…When I reached I saw he wasn’t there. My eyes widened and I nimbly made my way down the steps. My mind swam with ideas of where he might be and a part of me was hesitant to look for him. The air was cooler downstairs and I saw he had the curtains drawn back so the moonlight could spill in. The earth, blanketed with snow, glowed with moonlight more radiant than desert sands in the winter night. It was like a white ocean and my breath drew. Billions of stars hung like ornaments in the sky. They winked at me like silver bells. Withdrawing, I slowly stepped close to the bathroom build underneath the stairs. When I saw nobody was there I went into the kitchen. I noticed the coffee pot was damp with vapor. But nobody was inside. I went into the library, holding the walls in the dark of the hallway. When I reached the library, no light was on and nobody was in. I went into the washroom at the back and found he wasn’t there.
“Where are you?” I voiced quietly. I opened up the back door and saw not a soul. Closing it I folded my arms and shivered a little from the cold outside. Going back into the kitchen I cracked the front door open and saw a small candle burning in a lantern on the dirt road leading to the house. I squinted my eyes and saw the silver silhouette of a man in the distance. It was James!
Closing the door, I opened up the hall closet and put on dad’s boots and his great winter coat. After buttoning it up and placing a beanie on my head I went outside in the cold frosty air. My stride slowed as I neared him. I saw my breath before my face and smiled as it disappeared and blended with the cool of the air. I approached as quietly as possible, but before I was within ten paces of him he turned around. Silver light danced on his henna brown hair and the bronze terrain of his face was dappled with moonlight and shadow so that some of his features were hidden. He appeared so tall and stately, strong yet gentle. He moved to pick up the lantern and held it before his face. “Autumn?” he said surprised. His honey eyes luminous near the small flame.
“Yes, it’s me,” I voiced shyly.
“What are you doing outside? In the cold?” he reached to take off his jacket but I lifted my hand, “it’s okay. I put on my dad’s coat.”
He let out a sigh of protest but relented. His butterscotch skin seemed so smooth, and so warm against the cold of the white night.
“May I join you?” I asked walking to his side, my blue eyes glowing.
He gazed at me before blinking. A small sweet laugh came from his lips, “forgive me. I have to remind myself not to look at you…like that…for so long,” his words were coated with affection.
I blushed despite the cold.
“For a little while,” he responded.
“Just a little while?”
“Yes.”
When my brows crinkled he chortled, “Need I remind you that you almost suffered from hypothermia this morning?”
“But…”
“Sometimes it’s better to listen Autumn…without putting up a fight.”
“I don’t have red hair for nothing,” I quipped.
He smiled but remained quiet and looked up at the stars.
“Thank you for saving my life today…” I whispered.
He turned to me, “God saved your life today. I was simply His envoy,” he grinned, “a very happy emissary.” He turned again and I watched the stars with him.
Things remained quiet for about three minutes. Not one of us spoke. Everything was so still, serene. Only the faint musical sound of the occasional gust of wind tickled my ears. James took a sip of coffee from a thermos he was carrying. My nose picked up the mild sugary scent of winterberry. I glanced and saw the red hue of the candle in the lantern James was holding.
Enjoying the silence yet wanting to hear his voice more I asked, “what were you doing out here?”
“Talking to God,” his voice moistened in deep thought, “this is my quiet time with Him.”
“At night?”
“Yes…and early into the morning. That’s the time Jesus would go up to the Mount of Olives and pray to His Father. I find it’s the most fruitful time…when the world is quiet…when everybody is asleep. It’s just me and the Father. Some of my richest moments have come from these times. He teaches me things and I get to pour out my soul to Him and feast on His goodness. ‘More than the watchmen wait for the morning do I wait for You. O Israel, hope in the Lord; For with the Lord there is lovingkindness, And with Him is abundant redemption.…’”
“King David,” I whispered remembering the author of the scripture he quoted.
“Mmhmm,”
“Does He always speak?” I asked in wonder.
“…He’s always speaking. This is just a time that I’m usually quite enough to listen. It’s all about resting in Him.”
“….so, what has God been telling you tonight?”
“He’s reminding me.”
“Of what?”
“That there isn’t a person on earth that I love more than God. And because of that, I love every person on earth. Our hearts were made for one love. The perfect, full, gracious, lavish, and awesome love of God. From His heart, true benevolence and affection for people flows.”
I was quiet for a moment. His words were like a balm on my heart…sweet peace rose from deep within me.
“Wow…you summed that up so neatly.”
James gently slipped an arm around my shoulders and the lantern dangled from his gloved hand. I leaned into him and felt a warm mist coming from his skin. I began to feel light…and a deep sense of love.
“I feel God right now,” James said and suddenly tears pricked my eyes.
“I feel Him too,” I said softly, my voice quivering a little, “the moment we hugged…”
James laughed lightly, “I knew I wasn’t alone.” A deep sigh rose to his chest and then a long exhale, “you know Autumn…you’re the first girl that God has given me peace about. After I was born-again there were a few women I thought God might put me together with…but I lacked peace about every single one of them…even if everything looked perfect in the natural. But with you…it just feels so clear. It’s His pleasure flowing right now between us. I recognize it,” James began to laugh again.
My eyes widened with his words but then relaxed and soon I was laughing too. I laughed from an overdose of joy! I was in awe at the goodness of God. A verse came to my mind:When the Lord brought back the captives [who returned] to Zion, we were like those who dream [it seemed so unreal]. Then were our mouths filled with laughter, and our tongues with singing. Then they said among the nations, The Lord has done great things for them. The Lord has done great things for us! We are glad! –Psalm 126:1-3.
I turned and wrapped my arms around his waist, “who would have thought God would have given me such a wonderful man?” I closed my eyes and giggled.
James pulled me back a little, “from what I remember woman is the gift of man. It’s you who is the treasure. I’m the one who should be most thankful.”
A slight breeze blew past us, and snowflakes of the purest white dusted the sky. I saw my breath in the air and I closed my eyes and tilted my chin up. When I peeked, my eyes open a bright silver streak shot across the sky and I gasped.
“A shooting star!” I exclaimed.
James smiled widely, “yup, I’m definitely feeling like this is a God-moment.”
“All moments are God-moments,” I laughed to tease him.
“How right you are love,” he grinned and set down his lantern and coffee. He took my hands in his and instinctively I knew what to do. I began to circle him and then I ran. He held on tightly and swung me. I bent my knees and let out a “wwwwwhhheeeeee!” as he lifted me in the air.
Setting me down after about the fifth circle he took my hands again, resting one on his shoulder and keeping one. With his free hand, he held me above my waist and together we danced. Our eyes locked and all the world disappeared into a void behind him. All I could see was him and for a moment I was lost in his gleaming hazel eyes. He began to sing a love song to me and the sound of his rich, deep, and mellow voice in song undid all walls my heart had ever erected. Suddenly I enjoyed the godly gift of giving and receiving love in a flowing stream of divine pleasure.
My lips smeared into a crumpled smile and my eyes watered all over again.
We seemed to dance forever until he stopped. He kissed my hand before picking up his coffee and the lantern.
I was in a daze as he escorted me back to the house. We were both quiet again. I started to walk up the stairs but James didn’t release my hand. I looked back at him and his caramel colored face seemed to glow. Blades of his curly deep auburn hair had escaped from underneath his dark blue beanie. A muscle jerked in his jaw and he opened his mouth and then hesitated. I turned around, faced him and waited.
After several seconds he finally spoke, “I think it’s time to come clean.”
My heart jumped, “What do you mean?” I asked.
“I mean, well…I think I can come out and tell your father, mother and brother how much you mean to me.”
I could hear my heart in my ears and felt my pulse in my neck.
“Why my mother and brother as well?” I asked out without thinking.
“Because your mother and David are also authority figures in your life. And that position warrants the upmost honor.”
He saw how my eyes shifted in the candlelight.
“Are you ready, sweet one?” he asked and released my hand to rub the back of my arm lightly.
I chewed my bottom lip for a moment out of joyous thoughts and also nervousness. I was tempted to fear that my family would reject his request to court me, but I quickly denied those thoughts access to my mind. Hadn’t God already proven that He was faithful so many times?
I nodded my head slowly in response, a smile growing on my lips.
James beamed and appeared relived at the same time, “I’ve been praying about the right timing for a while now. And honestly, I feel like I could wait for you forever. You’re a treasure worth any price Autumn.” His voice became hoarse with emotion and my eyes misted. My heart felt full like a peach close to its fattest and sweetest state. He cleared his throat and continued, “it’s hard to explain, but I know somehow that God has been doing something in your heart that makes…now a good time. Even though whatever He is doing hasn’t fully…matured yet. I know you’re blossoming. Also, I want to be as honest and forthcoming with your family as possible. And I know they respectfully deserve to know my intentions. I have the highest regard for your family. They mean more to me than I can describe.”
“I know they do,” I said and took his hand. With trembling lips, I kissed his fingers gently and briefly. He seemed surprised and his eyes enlarged at my intimate gesture. I never blinked as I kissed him. I wanted him to know that my heart was swollen for him. I wanted to remove the emblematic veil from my face. James slowly withdrew his hand and kissed the exact same spot I had. My stomach fluttered and I felt my knees go weak.
After ascending the stairs James opened up the front door for me, “have a good night beautiful princess.” He bid me. I saw he was going back outside to talk to God. “Good night,” I whispered with a large smile, “enjoy your time with God.” Slowly he closed the door and I watched him from the window as he walked back to the spot where I met him. With the music of his voice still ringing in my heart I took off Papa’s coat, pulled off his beanie and kicked off my boots. I climbed up the hall stairs and curled up in bed, once more gazing up at the star streaked sky. All I could do was voice, “thank you God,” over and over again before I began drifting to sleep. Another verse from my spirit rose to my understanding like the sweet potency of an aromatic candle shop: I went to sleep, but my heart stayed awake. [I dreamed that I heard] the voice of my beloved as he knocked [at the door of my mother’s cottage]. Open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my spotless one [he said], for I am wet with the [heavy] night dew; my hair is covered with it. (Song of Solomon 5:2). The verse came like an undercurrent of sugary water to my heart…and inside I saw Jesus at the door of a secret alcove in my heart. I heard a voice speak from within, “It’s Me. I’m speaking to you through the pleasure. Let me in deeper beloved.”
I whispered to my holy Bridegroom, “every door in my heart I open to You without reservation.”
A tangible peace coated some deep part within my soul before my eyes finally fluttered close. That night I dreamed I was in Heaven. I was sailing on an endless crystal glass ocean like sapphire waters. Jesus was on the sail ship with me and before us was mountains covered with lush vegetation. Clouds of desert pink glowed and made images in the sky. I was in a sheer white dress and a golden crown—simple yet elegant was on my head. Jewels were pressed into the points of my crown. Jesus came from behind the steering wheel to my side. He grinned as he approached. His eyes were burning love. He spoke in a voice like many waters, “this is the ocean of my pleasure…of my goodness…of my provision. It is my delight that you sail on it always. It is my happiness to give you good and perfect things.” I turned to Him teary-eyed, “the only real goodness in my life is You…from which all these other blessings flow.” I hugged his neck and He took me in His arms and I never felt more loved. The sky was blue…so blue it appeared fluid. The colors here were beyond imagination and they burst with radiant light…
~I hope you enjoyed this sneak peak. If you want more stories on divine romance, see my Free Inspiration page. You can also purchase a copy of my book, Romantic Rendezvous for the Soul, by clicking here!
~If these stories have blessed you, please share the blessing with a friend <3
“There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” – Proverbs 31:29 NLT
One of the
greatest compliments my husband has ever given me was comparing me to the Proverbs
31 woman.
I used to
hate that woman.
I thought
she was an impossible standard. The far-fetched, wishful thinking of Solomon’s
mother. Now, I realize that I only “hated” her because I secretly wanted to be
her but felt hopelessly inadequate. She was pie in the sky, a pipe-dream.
I still remember the night Stephen and I swung out of dad’s truck. It was in winter and the wind whipped at our hair as we headed into the grocery store. He peered at me as I strode forward with determination to be in and out of there “as quickly as possible.”
“You’re like the Proverbs 31 woman.” He said.
I was
startled and slowed my pace. At first, I wondered if it was a joke. But I knew Stephen. I knew he didn’t
speak frivolously.
“Really?” I prodded unbelieving.
“Yes,”
he answered directly. He then went on to tell me the reasons why.
Recently,
this woman that I once “hated” has come up again almost a year later. This time
not to haunt me, but to encourage and compliment me.
Listening to the voice of truth has often been like this for me. At first, the truth can come across as harsh and hateful but really the very core of truth is unconditional love.
When God’s truth meets your ears, do you hear love or hate?
The truth of God is meant to do one thing…set you forever free. Selfless love will always risk being persecuted or hated by the one it is trying to help. True love risks because love is more concerned about the person it is trying to reach. God’s love speaks to you, to give you wings above the storm. His truth is brighter than the sun. His truth is honey to the heart and strength to the soul.
I used to live in a perpetual state of victimhood. If anything in life seemed too hard, I would spiral into a rancid stew of self-pity. In our second year of marriage, Stephen came home from work to find me in such a stew.
I
was sprawled out on our bed…my head muffled between my arm and pillow. A flow
of tears trailed down my cheeks and spotted the pillow and my sleeves. I was in
a dark cloud of “why me?”
Stephen
unlopped his laptop bag and set it down in the corner. He sat at the edge of
the bed and put a large comforting hand on my shoulder before rubbing.
I
shuffled his touch away and turned my head. I secretly wanted his pity but didn’t
want to make it so obvious.
He
asked me what was wrong and I told him.
He
was quiet for a moment and then said something that made me want to smack him
across the face. He gave me the truth instead of sugar-coating me with a poisonous
lie.
“Is
that all?” he asked.
“What?!”
I questioned, incredulously.
“Ashley,
I love you but I don’t feel sorry for you and I won’t. I have compassion on you but not pity.”
I’m
pretty sure I flipped around and glared at him.
His
visage was calm, his body unmoving.
“You’re not a victim! And I won’t treat you like one. You’re the head and not the tail, above only and not beneath. God calls you a victor. He’s already given you victory in Jesus over this.”
He bent over to meet me at eye level. His cold blue eyes were serious and compassionate. After about a five-minute lecture, he left me in the room to go relax.
I thought he was the most insensitive, cruel creature that existed.
He doesn’t love me.
I was sure if he did, then he would meet my emotional needs by “loving on me.” Surely, he could have at least considered my excuses (I mean reasons) for being in the sorrowful state that I was. No, instead he knocked them all down with scripture of all things!
I hid in the room for almost an hour, trying to defuse my temper and come up with a reason why he was wrong. So wrong.
Looking back, I realize he did love on me! He loved me in the greatest possible way. He gave me the truth to light my path. He didn’t coddle the lies that I was believing, rather he exposed them. But because these lies felt like a part of me, I thought he was attacking me instead of what was hurting me.
I
know it can be difficult sometimes when we hear the truth.
It may not come in the way we want it. It may not even seem true. But I encourage you that those who love you the deepest will speak the truth to you. They will risk your backlash, they will risk offending you, they will risk your misunderstanding because they want to see you free. They love you enough to not protect themselves from you.
God loves you so much that he will attack every lie that’s holding you in bondage. He will come after every self-sabotaging habit. He sent His Son (who was full of grace and truth) not to judge the world but to save the world. The truth always saves. At the risk of the greatest possible pain and public shame, Jesus spoke the truth.
He sits in Heaven with permanent marks on his wrists and a stab wound to the side, because he loves us. He loved us enough to point us back to God.
The
book of Proverbs tells us repeatedly that the main distinction between the wise
and foolish was their response to the truth. The foolish will attack or reject
the voice of truth. The wise will thank the person who spoke truth over them
and then begin to apply that truth to their life.
Because of God’s truth, I now have three businesses. I chose to cast off my victim mentality and believe that I could do all things through Christ. I chose to forgive those who hurt me. I chose to forgive myself. Because of God’s truth, I have been elevated in ways that would have never happened if I held unto those lies. I feel like I’m walking in the way of my destiny. I’m living in my dreams. I feel fulfilled and satisfied. My life is extremely blessed!
My hands are more busy now than they have ever been. Yet, my work is blessed. My work is gratifying because Jesus has shown me how to co-labor with Him. My work not only profits myself, but my family and even people around the world. I have received so many praise reports and “thank you’s” from people that I didn’t even think I touched. I can look back after a long day and wipe the sweat off my brow with a smile. I smile as the sun sets because I know the fruit of this labor will last into eternity. I smile because grace is pouring upon my head and shoulders like fragrant water from heaven. I smile because, I’m finally learning to lay down my life to find it.
~I pray God speaks the truth to you today that will set you free. I pray you live out all your God-dreams, not out of selfish gratification, but through an intimate connection with Jesus. I pray you discover that you are the cream of the crop, more than a conqueror and beloved of God. I pray you stretch your arms out wide and welcome the warm sunshine of truth. I pray all darkness flees from your soul as lies are dismantled and exposed. I pray you take off and soar like an eagle above every storm in life. I pray you know the incredible joy and peace that comes from being loved on by God, from loving yourself, and then loving Him enough to choose His ways above your own. You were made to fly. Your life has eternal weight. You are a treasure worth the blood of Jesus. You are a co-laborer with Christ. You are a queen and priest in Him. No bondage or darkness is greater than Christ in you. Nothing can separate you from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. God has a hope and a future just for you!
~For information on my Life Coaching services, click here. <3 We are better together!
